Where Art Thou (Part 2)?

[00:00:03] Speaker A: All right, and welcome back to Barely D and D, your sort of Dungeons and Dragons podcast. I'm Stephen, and we are currently walking in the woods. I don't know what else we're gonna. [00:00:17] Speaker B: Find, but no notes. The party's walking in the woods. We're going. No notes, Steven. [00:00:21] Speaker A: We're walking in the woods for a reason. Yeah. [00:00:26] Speaker B: So Millard Salmon, Glow man. What? [00:00:29] Speaker A: Looking for a man or looking for a man? [00:00:31] Speaker B: Yes. I got confused. You all are off the beaten stone path north of Ebbitt, and you guys are. It's like, early afternoon now, and I will change the music. You all are out looking for signs of a Sigmund Dreyfus, a lost individual. Sam's casting of locate object to search for the rest of the cloak from an initial torn piece that was given to you by a Mr. Erics Barrows has led you off of the path. And now as you all step through high frozen grasses and into a more piney wooded area, it really isn't far off of the path that you find in area. It looks like there's a clearing where the grass separates. You can see how someone could have very easily seen off the road into this location here. The grass is sort of trampled down. There is a lot of dirt, open dirt. It doesn't look like mud right now. Everything's a little too cold. You can see how a month ago with some rain, it could have very much been mud. And there are trees all about and there's an open clearing of area. Is anyone searching for anything in particular as you follow Raz or Alleria or whatever she's going by today's senses. [00:01:56] Speaker C: Nice. [00:01:58] Speaker D: That was a good one. That's a good omen. [00:02:00] Speaker A: Yeah, that's a good omen. [00:02:02] Speaker B: That tastes good. [00:02:04] Speaker C: I want to see if I can find any other. I want to see if I can find any kind of. Did he tell us what kind of, like, cargo he was carrying or anything? [00:02:19] Speaker B: He said that he had objects in transit, but he sort of brushed over it, focusing more on the events that happened to the person you should have asked. That would have. [00:02:27] Speaker C: Might have made things differently. I would like to search for anything that looks like non nature y, like a piece of a crate or something that he was carrying or a knife. [00:02:42] Speaker B: Getting fabricated and unnatural. Yes. Give me an investigation check. Anyone else doing anything different? [00:02:49] Speaker A: I'd like to investigate. I like to get low to the ground and start to snip. Do a little Scooby Doo action. And I'm just gonna try and see if I can smell anything. That's other than what like we've been smelling along the trail, you know, cow or otherwise. [00:03:06] Speaker B: Wasn't expecting a Scooby Doo reference. It's very welcome. [00:03:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:10] Speaker B: Millard, anything particular from you? [00:03:14] Speaker D: Millard is watching his compatriots closely as we're walking. [00:03:21] Speaker A: You haven't said much since we. Since we left the house. Yeah. [00:03:23] Speaker C: You were pretty quiet on the way here. [00:03:26] Speaker B: He was very quiet. [00:03:27] Speaker D: Have they said anything concerning or. [00:03:30] Speaker A: Probably. [00:03:32] Speaker B: Probably. Have they said anything concerning? What? [00:03:37] Speaker D: Like concerning, like if you heard a stranger say that, you'd be like, oh, I need to keep some space. [00:03:43] Speaker B: Have. Have Sam or Glug said anything concerning? [00:03:48] Speaker C: We talked about the elks yelling. [00:03:51] Speaker A: Yeah, the elks. [00:03:52] Speaker D: Did they understand what that was? [00:03:54] Speaker B: Yeah, they did. Okay. [00:03:57] Speaker C: Okay. I rolled high on my nature check. [00:03:59] Speaker B: Okay, well tell me about this investigation check you made, Sam. [00:04:03] Speaker C: I got a 12. [00:04:05] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:06] Speaker A: I also got a 12. [00:04:08] Speaker B: Okay. [00:04:09] Speaker C: Which means we really got a 24. [00:04:12] Speaker B: No. So yes, Rafaela. Yeah, we are. We got all of that. The sneeze, the shouting, the dancing, the can crush, you know, I didn't get any dancing. So the. For the investigation check. Sam, you find. [00:04:33] Speaker D: Can I get the help action? [00:04:36] Speaker B: Well, she's told me her role, but. [00:04:39] Speaker D: Next I thought it's just that before the results. Oh wait, yeah, yeah. [00:04:43] Speaker B: Is it before the roll or before. [00:04:44] Speaker D: The results of like pass or fail? [00:04:46] Speaker B: She gave me both. So she told me she got a 12. [00:04:52] Speaker D: I don't know if that passes or fails. [00:04:55] Speaker B: Uh huh. But you do know that 12 is less than 20. So moving forward, she, you know, in the same way that an enemy cannot be like, I got a 10 on attack. You know what, I'm gonna reckless attack you what? Landon, what'd you say? Yeah, no, she got a 12. So on your 12 investigations, Sam, you do find. You find many things here. You find broken blades of grass, you find torn up fragments of bark from nearby trees. And a little bit of basic looking around reveals that there's been some damage to the area. It looks like there's been trampled grass around here and it looks like the trees have been a bit scarred and marked up. And I mean you guys dang out you what goes dang alk those dang elk. And by simply passing through the area, you can find these things easily enough. And you man, my wife is really helping me out right now. For anything unnatural, you do find a couple pieces of broken wood, like processed wood, cut lumber, like a few fragments a little worn as if they might have come off of some sort of a container. Or structure or vehicle, and then glug as you sniff around the area. Do you have any particular. Do you have any particular feature that allows you to sniff more than the average person? [00:06:36] Speaker A: No, no, I'm just sniffing. [00:06:38] Speaker B: Okay, you're just sniffing. [00:06:41] Speaker A: So it was in the mind because I was thinking hound dog, and so I was like, well, we don't have the dog, so might as well try. Man, I love. [00:06:49] Speaker B: I love vibe, flavor, decisions. You smell dirt and you smell. You smell grass. Pine. A lot of pine. [00:06:59] Speaker A: Yeah, it's refreshing. The lungs. [00:07:01] Speaker B: Yes. Very refreshing lungs. The thing that's readily apparent to all three of you is the broken grass ripped up around the clearing. Looks something was trampled here. There are many tracks in the mud, preserved and frozen here for some time. And there are gash marks through the trees nearby. [00:07:18] Speaker C: What kind of tracks? Can I do a nature check? Oh, sorry, Landon. You haven't done anything. [00:07:24] Speaker D: I'm gonna use primeval awareness and. [00:07:32] Speaker B: For. [00:07:32] Speaker D: One minute, whole spell slot. I just. I spend a spell slot, and I can tell within a mile of me if there's any. Oh, my gosh. Aberrations, celestials, dragons, elementals, fey fiends or undead. [00:07:45] Speaker B: Yes, you need to specify one. Right. Or am I wrong? [00:07:50] Speaker D: It says you can sense whether the following types of creatures are present within Rima Island. So. [00:07:57] Speaker B: I could have sworn we needed to check, but that wouldn't be the first time that I did not. [00:08:01] Speaker D: This is a subclass specific. [00:08:04] Speaker B: Oh, okay. It's not all rangers. [00:08:06] Speaker D: No, no, it is. It is Rangers. You can sense what the following types of creatures. [00:08:14] Speaker B: Oh, okay. I mean, it's looking pretty. [00:08:17] Speaker A: Yeah, it looks like what you're thinking, Landon. [00:08:19] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:08:20] Speaker A: At least from what I'm reading. [00:08:20] Speaker B: Okay. I think I'm thinking of something different. [00:08:23] Speaker D: So you're thinking of favored, not fucking the other one, where you can choose one type to have better damage on. [00:08:32] Speaker B: Thank you, Lando. I appreciate the specifics. Okay. Within a mile, you sense no aberrations, no celestials, no dragons, no elementals, no fey, fiend or undead. [00:08:45] Speaker D: This place is pretty chill. [00:08:47] Speaker B: Within how much? Six miles? No, no, no. [00:08:49] Speaker D: Just a mile. Because I don't have a favorite terrain with the ranger that I have, actually. [00:08:57] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Okay. Making sure. I was thinking through some details. Yeah, yeah. [00:09:02] Speaker C: He picks up the cow. Guys, you think. [00:09:05] Speaker A: You think it's chill, but there's a little bit. [00:09:07] Speaker D: I. This place is pretty chill. I don't think there's any bad guys here. [00:09:12] Speaker A: What about the wood on the floor? There's wood all on. On the ground. [00:09:15] Speaker D: Nature can be violent. [00:09:16] Speaker C: I would like to do a nature check. Of what? The track there. [00:09:20] Speaker B: Okay. [00:09:21] Speaker C: Like, are they like human tracks? Animal tracks? [00:09:25] Speaker B: Yeah, give me a. Give me a nature check. [00:09:27] Speaker D: Sam, why don't we just go back. [00:09:29] Speaker C: And lie until we found dirty 20? [00:09:32] Speaker D: All right. [00:09:33] Speaker B: Dirty 20. [00:09:34] Speaker C: Oh, also, Landon, you weren't here, but he did say he wanted some kind of proof that we killed the morfolk or if we found his friend or something and he gave us a description of his friend. [00:09:49] Speaker D: That'S fine. I'm sure we can do something. [00:09:51] Speaker B: But with a 20, as Millard is discussing strategy, possible deceptions of Mr. Barrows, Sam, you get near to the ground and you start examining the tracks. Tracks that everyone can see well enough but that you are really getting down and examining some knowledge of the natural world. For in the course of your travels. The tracks are certainly bipedally footed. You know, they're not the round tracks of ungulates. They're not the pod tracks of mammals. They are clearly footprints. But they are odd. They are thinner than you expect tracks and they are longer. They appear to have a more pointed finish than like a boot. Whereas like a boot is sort of just a whole rounded. This is a bit more of like a foot shape though. Too narrow, too long. And there are also here boot tracks, for whatever it's worth. This probably would have been a survival check, but you were so enthusiastic and it already rolled. It's not a big deal. [00:10:51] Speaker C: I'm sorry, it's not a big deal. [00:10:53] Speaker B: Here we are. It's really not pivotal. [00:10:57] Speaker C: It would have been a 19 of survival, so it wouldn't have been. [00:11:00] Speaker B: You would have passed anyway. It doesn't matter. You did great just for future rest. And so these tracks do look. There appear to be both boot prints and whatever this other footprint is from simply saying here. [00:11:20] Speaker C: Is there only one set of boot tr. Like it looks like it was just one person wearing boots. [00:11:27] Speaker B: Give me a survival check. [00:11:33] Speaker D: Oh, I'd also like to look into the 19. [00:11:38] Speaker C: It's just funny because I rolled a 19. I rolled a 19 for the nature check and got a dirty Tony and I rolled a 19 for survival. [00:11:46] Speaker B: Whichever die you're using is a good die, Sam. As you look about the space it is. I mean, there are clearly the boot press and these other prints are different and they are placed around in such a way that the pattern looks like multiples of this other footprint. But the placements of even the boots are a bit odd. Like there are boot prints in the middle, but then some on the side. Whatever the boot print initially was, it's a circuitous overlay of tracks. There's some in the middle, some on the side. Whatever happened here, there was a lot of movement, and from a confusing array of sources, though all the prints match. There are not different sizes of boot print. There's one size of boot print, and there's one size of whatever these other tracks are. What did you say that you were looking at, Millard? [00:12:39] Speaker D: I was gonna look at the tracks too. I was. Specifically. I didn't get to say it before we left the guy's office, but I. I don't think. [00:12:48] Speaker B: I don't know. [00:12:49] Speaker D: I was wanting to, like, get a good idea of, like, the size of his foot and his shoe before we. [00:12:53] Speaker B: Were leaving to go out, but I did. [00:12:55] Speaker D: I just didn't get a chance to, like, say that before we let go out. [00:13:01] Speaker B: This is. [00:13:02] Speaker D: Here we are. [00:13:03] Speaker B: This is a one shot. Give me a perception check. [00:13:08] Speaker D: I guess that's NAT1. Listen, the game goes how the game's supposed to go. [00:13:14] Speaker B: Millard, you know, you. You got an excellent look at his shoe. And in fact, when he wasn't looking, you stole away compared to the size of your own. You go to, like, recollect the energy. Ah. Oh, and gnat went in your nose. That feels like it's in your brain sitting there trying to blow it out. Oh, it's too cold for this. Yeah. [00:13:36] Speaker A: Need some help there, mate? [00:13:38] Speaker D: I just don't like bugs. [00:13:40] Speaker A: What kind of bugs you got? It's freezing out here. [00:13:42] Speaker D: It's a gnat in my nose. [00:13:44] Speaker A: Oh, they smell good here. [00:13:45] Speaker D: And he holds one side, and they go. [00:13:49] Speaker B: Everything out. Flying out of your rostrum is a little frozen dead gnat just onto the ground. [00:13:54] Speaker D: I get him. I get them all out just fine. That's all good. [00:13:57] Speaker C: I got it. [00:13:58] Speaker A: I think that thing came from inside you. I don't think that was out here. [00:14:01] Speaker B: That'd be funny, Steven. You're funny, dude. [00:14:07] Speaker D: I think that'd be the funniest thing I heard all day. [00:14:09] Speaker B: Glug. Where your expertise lies, uniquely, you are familiar with physical abrasions. As we stand here, could you give me. I mean, you're familiar with the rough and the tussle. Yeah. Could you give me an investigation check of your own? [00:14:27] Speaker A: Okay, that's gonna be a 17. To look in all these slashes and. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Tears as you go up to those gashes on those trees. Those aren't elkhorns. All around the trees nearby, there are deep gashes, and they do, in fact, look like blades. A broad, harsh blade. Looks like it carved through this tree in multiple places, sometimes in patterns of two or three, but other times in single long strokes. And it looks like this is where a lot of the. The broken bark was carved off. These trees appear to have sustained some serious damage from whatever this was. [00:15:04] Speaker A: Okay. [00:15:05] Speaker B: Oi, Wallet. [00:15:07] Speaker A: Any of these slashes, these could have been from my acts, I would say right here. [00:15:10] Speaker B: Did you. [00:15:11] Speaker D: Are you saying you did this? [00:15:12] Speaker A: No, I'm saying they. [00:15:13] Speaker B: Look. [00:15:15] Speaker A: It was called an implication. What, like something other than whatever creatures live out here did this? [00:15:24] Speaker B: Right. [00:15:28] Speaker A: What I'm saying is we got some monsters on the prowler, mate. Or something else. [00:15:32] Speaker D: Do the long tracks go anywhere else? Can I try to follow them? [00:15:36] Speaker B: Give me a survival check, Miller. Part of the complication here is that the mud was shallow and it has been some time. There's been some weathering on the landscape. [00:15:48] Speaker D: Do not think that is a good thing. I got a one plus one. One plus one is two. I got a nine. Okay, wait, no, no, no, no, no, no. Ten. Sorry. It does not matter. But it's a ten because I have a plus one and efficiency plus two. [00:16:08] Speaker B: I mean, ten is different than nine. Fight for your checks, Lando. Fight for your checks. Yes. Now, you lose them a bit in the way that you lose tracks. Right. They dissipate at some point, maybe the depth of soil changes or it becomes less loam. Yeah, they do. They head further off the path into the wood at some point. And then they get lost as mud becomes leaf litter and long dried and dead pine needle mixing in. And then it just becomes sort of just a muddle of leaf texture, but for a moment. Yeah, they seem to go north a bit. [00:16:46] Speaker D: Okay, I point this out to my compatriots. [00:16:49] Speaker A: Okay. I want to see if. I'm going to try and see if I can figure out a way to try and follow the tracks, too. I'm still feeling like I'm like, okay, I know this is something. Something went down here, and I've just got to, like, figure out. Figure out what it was. Okay, so is that going to be survival? Right? [00:17:10] Speaker B: What are you trying to do specifically? You're trying to. [00:17:12] Speaker A: Oh, sorry. [00:17:12] Speaker B: What happened in this whole interaction. [00:17:15] Speaker A: No, I was saying, like, about the tracks. [00:17:17] Speaker B: Yes, sure. Yeah. You can make a survival check to try and piece together a little more. [00:17:25] Speaker A: And so whatever. Wherever I think they're heading, I'm gonna get down on all fours and start, like, sort of like galloping towards it. All right. I feel like I'm on The prowl. At this point, every time you're on. [00:17:35] Speaker B: All fours to try and figure out something's going on the ground, I'm gonna need you to start adding a D4 onto this. I don't know why this is working, but this is clearly a part of who you are. You're guiding yourself when you do this. [00:17:46] Speaker A: Okay, that'll be a 14. [00:17:50] Speaker B: 14 glug. Yeah, you. You lose him in the pine litter. But there was something here. [00:17:58] Speaker D: So it looks like. [00:17:59] Speaker B: It looks like some sort of. There's a lot of movement in the middle as you really get down on all fours where a man was meant to. And as you investigate from there and where Glug was meant to be, as you. As you investigate from there and search around, there's so much. It's so sporadic. It's a conflict or a dance or. I mean, probably not a dance, but something. A lot of movement. A lot of movement here. As you follow them off the track, you do lose them in the pine. In the pine roughage, but you notice that. I mean, no other marks beyond here. So whatever's marking the trees stops whatever. If it traveled beyond whatever happened. There was no more. No more altercation beyond this point. [00:18:41] Speaker C: Okay. [00:18:42] Speaker A: So I start to lose them. I'm, like, heading around then, like, I. I know I've lost them. I just start circling, like, a single tree. I'm just. I'm not feeling it anymore. [00:18:50] Speaker B: And then I stand up, still on all fours. Okay. Yeah. [00:18:53] Speaker A: No, then I stand up. Yeah, I was on all fours, though. [00:18:55] Speaker B: You know, that'd be unreasonable if we stayed there too long. [00:18:58] Speaker A: Well, yeah. I mean, you got to stand up sometimes. [00:19:00] Speaker B: You all watched Glug search the ground pretty thoroughly on all fours, not speaking, but sniffing quite a bit and with the physical posture of a bipedal humanoid, his butt high in the air. After circling a tree for some time, he stands up and returns to the group. [00:19:17] Speaker D: So are we going north or something? I thought they were going that way. I don't know. I feel like we could just keep looking for gashes and tracks and just kind of go as the. As the wind leads. [00:19:30] Speaker A: Sorry, Lug. Lost the scent. I say. I would say in another place, we should climb the trees, but these don't look like climbing trees now, do they? [00:19:38] Speaker D: Well, out. [00:19:39] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. [00:19:41] Speaker A: I say we head north. [00:19:44] Speaker C: Yes. Just keep following. Keep following what we find. I meant this direction. [00:19:53] Speaker B: Does the party head along the road or deeper into the wood? [00:19:57] Speaker C: Deeper into. [00:19:59] Speaker A: Yeah, I think. I think. [00:20:02] Speaker B: Okay. This investigation took some time, and after too long the party continues deeper into a space that is. Well, the party moves into the wood. It doesn't take long before the train starts getting complicated. Things start rising in elevation, the ground gets uneven, and your path is actually fairly, fairly quickly barred. Unless you're trying to start just rock climbing. Start taking some circuitous paths around to prevent trying to stay on the track of where you are. And dark settles in before too long. It's a quick dark in these eaves of winter. The temperature drops even further, and things get colder. And it's not long before it begins to be a bit hard to tell where you are. Can I get a survival check from a party member or two for a very different reason? [00:21:03] Speaker D: I got an 11 plus three. [00:21:08] Speaker A: I got a five, so that's 14. [00:21:11] Speaker C: I got a 15. [00:21:13] Speaker A: Okay. [00:21:18] Speaker B: Glug. [00:21:19] Speaker D: I'm a hunter. I'm not a navigator. I'm not that great with the needles on a compass or nothing. [00:21:24] Speaker B: Glug. Yeah. Oh, you're in the woods in the dark. [00:21:30] Speaker A: Oh. [00:21:31] Speaker B: Where are you guys? Miller and Sam. Oh, yeah, the pass back that way. That way. Glug. People die this way. [00:21:46] Speaker A: Well, that's not good. [00:21:48] Speaker B: Somewhere off. [00:21:49] Speaker A: Hey, don't. [00:21:49] Speaker D: Don't sweat it, man. Fifteen's a good. A good long life to live. [00:21:55] Speaker C: Oh, we hear the noise again. [00:21:57] Speaker D: The elk are happy enough to be doing their own thing. I think we should just keep on ahead. [00:22:00] Speaker A: I. I attempt. I want to roll performance to attempt to mimic the elk. [00:22:05] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:22:06] Speaker C: I think Zach's frozen. [00:22:08] Speaker A: 15. Oh, he is frozen. [00:22:10] Speaker D: I think typically, what happens. What happens is you describe what you want to do, and then the DM will tell you what check to make. [00:22:16] Speaker B: Just to let you know. Okay. [00:22:19] Speaker A: I mean, if it's something else, I can, you know, change it. [00:22:22] Speaker D: Yeah, we can. [00:22:22] Speaker A: Yeah, you're there. [00:22:23] Speaker C: We can now. Yeah. You were a little frozen. [00:22:25] Speaker B: Okay. Sorry about that. I think we cut there. What was Stephen asking for? [00:22:29] Speaker A: I was. I wanted to try to roll performance to see if I could mimic an elk, and I rolled a. It would be a 15 if it's performance. [00:22:37] Speaker B: Typically, that is the order where you let the DM know and then he tells you. But the sheer chaos of that and the confidence with which you did it. Yes, sir. Understood. You were the DM just then. A14. I can't. I can't resist that sort of raw glugness. Raw Glug. Glug. You don't. [00:22:59] Speaker D: Oh, no. Zachary. [00:23:00] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:23:01] Speaker D: He's pulling a. Micah. Oh, no. Zach. Oh, he's gone. [00:23:09] Speaker C: Bye. [00:23:13] Speaker B: So that real bummed I missed the glug screen. What did it sound like? [00:23:17] Speaker C: We didn't know. [00:23:18] Speaker A: I didn't make a sound yet. I don't know. It's. [00:23:20] Speaker C: Oh, you cut out saying I like this a lot or something, and then you just froze. [00:23:26] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:26] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:23:26] Speaker A: You want me to do. [00:23:28] Speaker C: It happened again. [00:23:34] Speaker B: Millard. [00:23:34] Speaker D: Millard's looking at Grug, and so I. [00:23:40] Speaker A: Can explain my mental state. [00:23:43] Speaker B: Okay. [00:23:44] Speaker A: If you want. What I was thinking is just like, basically, I'm getting a little freaked out at this point. I don't feel safe anymore. And so I'm thinking maybe the elks will help us. [00:23:56] Speaker B: That's. [00:23:56] Speaker A: That's blood's mental state right now. [00:23:58] Speaker B: And with a 14 dreams out to the darkness. But it does. It is. It's also not a drink I bought, but I am drinking it. It's not. It's not terrible. I don't understand how anyone can get on the white claws, but it is a white claw. Oh, my goodness. And so. [00:24:21] Speaker C: No. [00:24:22] Speaker B: Team Glug. An elk screen. Mac. [00:24:28] Speaker A: Oh, nice. [00:24:29] Speaker D: Oh, nice. [00:24:31] Speaker A: So it was. It was like a little bit of like a. Like something like that. [00:24:37] Speaker B: It almost feels like the screen. I feel confused. [00:24:41] Speaker A: Yeah. I. I feel a little bit more comforted right now. [00:24:47] Speaker B: And you do feel comforted, Glug. Until a moment later, a different scream joins you. This one is a bit lower and a bit more human. This scream comes back. [00:25:03] Speaker A: Okay. [00:25:03] Speaker B: Through the dark. [00:25:04] Speaker A: So can I tell that it's like a different. [00:25:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:25:09] Speaker C: How far away does it sound? [00:25:13] Speaker B: Not sure. [00:25:14] Speaker C: Like, is it really close? [00:25:15] Speaker B: A little back toward the road. And at this point, it's really gotten. There's very little light left in the sky. You're really hitting that twilight hour. And it's at this point that things are getting a bit darker and a bit grimmer physically. In light. [00:25:38] Speaker C: Do we. Do we go help? Do we go help? [00:25:43] Speaker A: Someone might be going for the. For the elks. [00:25:46] Speaker D: No, no, no. I think what we should do. I think you should drop a contract on what happens. Yeah. Get a contract going. [00:25:53] Speaker A: Okay. Wait. [00:25:55] Speaker D: We'll be able to have him sign it, and then we. [00:25:57] Speaker C: There is no time. [00:25:59] Speaker A: Okay. So I'm, like, shuffling with my bag. I'm going for the contract. [00:26:02] Speaker D: All right. [00:26:02] Speaker B: You hate immediately. [00:26:05] Speaker D: You take us. You take. You start leading. He'll write, and I'll watch the. I'll watch the six. [00:26:10] Speaker A: Okay. [00:26:11] Speaker C: I get. I. I get my torch out that I had given to him earlier, and I press the digitate. Light it. And she has that press to digitate. I know she wants to Be like, the fun guy. He doesn't know how to clean with it, though. And she. [00:26:31] Speaker D: Wait, guys, I don't know if this will work. I've been practicing this one, guys. I don't know if it's gonna work. [00:26:40] Speaker C: Why am I. Hermione. No, Ron, No. [00:26:44] Speaker D: I get those vibes from. From bro sometimes. Not in a bad way, but, like. [00:26:51] Speaker B: In a good way. [00:26:53] Speaker D: Hermione's the best character in the movies, okay? [00:26:55] Speaker A: She's a fair. [00:26:57] Speaker C: Okay, so she gets the torch, and she's like. I think we need to go find the person now. What if it is our friend Egmond? [00:27:08] Speaker A: I agree, I agree. We go. All right. While we're walking. [00:27:13] Speaker B: Okay. And so the party. [00:27:15] Speaker A: I don't know what kind of contract I'm writing, by the way. It's just something. Yeah, I'm like. [00:27:18] Speaker B: You're writing like the elf in the dark while jogging. [00:27:23] Speaker C: I'm doing, like, this with the torch. I'm, like, swinging it in front of. [00:27:27] Speaker B: So give me. Glug. Give me either an artistry, which is a Dex kind. It's. It's a custom one. An artistry. Okay. Or an intelligence check. Just at disadvantage. Whichever one you want. [00:27:38] Speaker A: Okay, I'll do intelligence at disadvantage. [00:27:42] Speaker B: 18 and. [00:27:45] Speaker A: Okay, that'll be 11. [00:27:49] Speaker B: Glug. As you're jogging with the contract, a little bit of flame. Light comes by. [00:27:52] Speaker A: You read it. [00:27:53] Speaker B: Those are words. You're getting words out. And then you're going back to. Yeah, this is readable. [00:27:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:59] Speaker B: So you guys are jogging through the wood. And as you do, it's. The most uncomfortable thing, is that things are getting dark. Actually, I want a different song. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Things are getting quieter around you as it's getting darker instead of louder because you all are making so much noise as you jog and run through the wood. It's like nature around you is dying off. And as you move back toward the clearing where you were, back toward the road, you see at a distance, kind of down a slope of the hill, that clearing that you were. And you see there. Well, why doesn't somebody give me a perception check? I can do that. Have darkvision. [00:28:45] Speaker A: I have. [00:28:46] Speaker B: I don't know if a raptor has dark vision. A raptor have dark vision. That's the separation from Humblewood. [00:28:55] Speaker C: Oh, I was picturing a dinosaur all of a sudden. [00:29:00] Speaker A: Yeah, I have dark vision. I can roll percentage. [00:29:02] Speaker B: So Glug will make up everyone. Oh, good. [00:29:06] Speaker A: Everyone else, advantage one, actually, because I have minus two on wisdom. [00:29:14] Speaker C: I got a four. [00:29:19] Speaker D: Millard, I'm trying. I'm just checking the. [00:29:23] Speaker B: I don't. [00:29:24] Speaker D: I don't think I do. I don't think I do. [00:29:27] Speaker A: You have Woodland Hunter. [00:29:29] Speaker D: I do have Woodland Hunter. So I rolled a 17 on my first one. Not a bad roll. My second one is an 11. Let's see what my modifier is. My modifier for perception is going to be per wisdom and that is plus one, plus my proficiency bonus. So that's plus three. So that's a 14. [00:29:49] Speaker B: Hey, that's not bad. [00:29:51] Speaker A: If I'm the one who can see in the dark, I see nothing. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Contract, There's a reason you see nothing. And we'll get to that in a second. But Millard, as you all are running forward. Oh, there is a thing in the clearing moving. I want to do something. A shape of a figure. And the moment before you do it, Glug is running, looking, running, looking, running. Contract, contract, branch. Bam. And just gets clotheslined by a pine branch. And there's this huge noise as the paper is torn by the branch. And he bombed the ground. And it is over Glug that Sam trips to the ground. And as they tumble over each other making a ton of noise in the leaf litter, snapping some branches and you suddenly look to the side. Millard, you can react in this moment hearing both the noise from them and seeing the creature in the clearing. [00:30:48] Speaker D: I'm gonna use Hunter sense on the creature. [00:30:51] Speaker B: Okay, tell me about Hunter sense. [00:30:53] Speaker D: I can look at it and I know how best to hurt it. I know it's totally. What if you were a little more specific about that and vulnerabilities. [00:31:05] Speaker B: You know, it's resistances and vulnerabilities. [00:31:07] Speaker D: And immunities. [00:31:09] Speaker B: And immunities. Okay, excellent. [00:31:11] Speaker C: That's crazy. [00:31:12] Speaker B: So what? Rangers are actually dope. People just clown on them a lot. It is true. The Wizards of the coast did go pretty hard on making sure they didn't have any of the. The best stuff. But they are a great class. I mean, they really are. They just got boned on some mechanical things. And the thing is, they're the Jack of all Trades class where. Where Bards are the Jack of all Trades. Spell casting Rangers are the Jack of all Trades. Half caster and Marshall. So most people don't pick them because the Marshall players are tending to are trying to lead really hard into something. But Rangers are awesome. As you stop and sense Miller, does that look like anything in particular for you or just. It's just the machine. It's just. [00:31:50] Speaker D: It's a magical ability. I Feel like my eyes, which are typically like, a solid. Like, probably like color. Birds don't have pupils. It's just a solid color. Right, Zach? [00:32:03] Speaker B: No, no, they have pupils. [00:32:04] Speaker D: Oh, they do. [00:32:05] Speaker B: You can identify a lot of raptors by the color of their eyes. [00:32:08] Speaker D: All right. The color of my eyes change, and they just turn completely red. Like, all my eyes just beam red, and then I just, like, glare at it. [00:32:17] Speaker B: Fun fact. There is only one raptor in the continental United States with red eyes, so that's really cool. Anyway, as you run up, your eyes flash red at the exact same time that you hear from your right. And as you look up, the creature. [00:32:31] Speaker A: I'm not surprised. [00:32:33] Speaker B: Yes, the creature in the clearing turns and looks in your direction, shifting in the darkness as there's just a little bit of faint light falling around its shoulders through the. To the tree growth. But the most disturbing thing is it is mostly silhouette. And as you reach out your magical senses and scan it, Millard, you detect no immunities, no vulnerabilities, and no resistances. None of the sort. The silhouette which you see in the clearing. Sam. And glug. Darkness. Sound. You're getting up. But, Millard, as you look out into the darkness, it is a silhouetted shape, that bipedal humanoid in shape like a person, but a little wrong. There is. It appears to be wearing some sort of a dark cloak all over it. And the cloak, there are stringy bits hanging off around the head and off of the torso and the limbs. And there's some sort of a dark. Like the fingers. The hands look long on the wrist, as if there are long fingers as well. And it's all very silhouetted right now. Not a lot of color. And it almost has. Okay, the feet, you can see in the darkness a little, seem to stretch out a little further. And it's sort of hunched in a strange position. And as that sound happens, it straightens up and turns very suddenly, looking in your way. What's everyone doing? [00:34:02] Speaker C: We can't see it. I'm trying to get. [00:34:05] Speaker A: I'm trying to get back up. I will say I also had my. My inkwell was open. It's all gone and probably on, like, my face and everything. So I'm also, like, wiping that off actively as I'm trying to get up so I can, like. I don't know what I see. I don't know if you want me to, like, do a roll for that. [00:34:21] Speaker B: Steven, Inspiration on being such an honest, honest player. You. You and Sam are getting. You can see where Millard is Seeing. So you can see. Oh, scary silhouette. But that's about all you're getting at the moment. Or. Sam. What? But, Glug, you can see with your dark vision. Dark. Dark vision does not let you see in the dark, but it lets you see dim light, like, it's normal light. So as the light from the torch scatters in that direction, you're vaguely picking up the silhouette as well. What is everyone doing? The creature's frozen, looking at you while in the clearing. [00:34:54] Speaker A: I think I'm terrified. Doug doesn't like this. [00:35:00] Speaker B: Glug says out loud about himself. [00:35:02] Speaker A: I'm like, on my. I'm just, like, sitting down now. I'm, like, half up, and I just start, like, backpedaling, like, on all fours. [00:35:10] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:35:11] Speaker C: I'm gonna whisper. I'm gonna kind of like, grab Millard's, like, whatever, like, his side or whatever, and I'm gonna go, what is it? I cannot say. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Maybe it's what ate the elk. [00:35:24] Speaker D: That's the devil. [00:35:25] Speaker B: I've been looking for him. [00:35:27] Speaker D: And I cast Slayer's prey. And, like, my eyes, like, burn red. And, like, almost like the red colors come off of it, and I just point out and say, I'm taking you back to hell, brother. [00:35:41] Speaker B: That's awesome. Give me. Do you shout that, Millard? [00:35:47] Speaker D: I do. [00:35:48] Speaker B: Give me an intimidation check. [00:35:53] Speaker A: Brother. [00:35:54] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That is. [00:35:57] Speaker D: What is intimidation? Charisma. [00:35:59] Speaker B: Yeah, Yeah. [00:36:01] Speaker D: I had a plus one, so that's. That's 14. [00:36:04] Speaker B: Wow. You've rolled three 14s in a row. I know all plus ones. [00:36:10] Speaker D: Well, I had my proficiency bonus. [00:36:12] Speaker B: I rolled a nat one. [00:36:15] Speaker D: Did I make a mistake, Zachary? [00:36:16] Speaker B: Did I make a mistake, Miller? You shout with. You shout. I'm taking you back to hell. And from the clearing, the creature reaches back and rips its own head off and pulls the back of its head forward and running towards you all with cloak in hand, long gloves. You hear a voice go, no, no, no. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Not worth it, not worth it. And Mr. Barrows runs into the clearing. Clearly him, his hair pressed down under a cloak matted together. He is holding, like, this crude hood made out of a different portion of cloak covered in materials and bits. And he's running. The elongated hands, just leather gloves pushed up on the wrist, the long feet. This is just my village carved. That's what I was thinking. The dark cloaks. He's just hung strips of leather and bits. And he runs up and he goes, not worth it. He throws it down. He goes, so sorry. Thought I was gonna scare you off. That was the goal. Clearly not. Clearly not. I'm so sorry. I will pay you your gold. He blocked about. [00:37:24] Speaker A: I. I'm like standing behind a really thin pine tree. It's like. It's like maybe a foot wide in diameter. I'm just like peering over. I'm still like. My mouth is like, like completely agape. I'm just. [00:37:34] Speaker D: If he signs this contract, does that. Does that validate the other contract he was gonna sign? The other one he signed. [00:37:39] Speaker A: Did you sign a contract? He did. [00:37:40] Speaker B: I thought he's still purified, but where he is, he points. [00:37:43] Speaker A: No, he didn't sign the contract. [00:37:44] Speaker B: Yeah, clarify that. I did not sign the contract. [00:37:47] Speaker A: He didn't sign the contract. Back. [00:37:49] Speaker B: Hold the torch. [00:37:50] Speaker D: Can you tell me what's going on here? I don't. I'm confused. I thought you were the devil. [00:37:54] Speaker A: I can't believe this man is the devil. [00:37:55] Speaker D: I'm kind of disappointed. [00:37:56] Speaker C: Where is Sigmund? [00:37:59] Speaker B: HE SIGHS he drops his hands at his side and he goes. He looks around and as Mr. Barrows stands there looking abashed and defeated in the middle of Sigmund Dreyfus, where art thou? The one shot. Sigmund Dreyfus, where art thou? [00:38:22] Speaker C: What. [00:38:24] Speaker B: Like, Scooby Doo, where are you? [00:38:26] Speaker C: Yeah, I was literally typing in the thing. Scooby Doo. Omg. [00:38:33] Speaker B: As he stands there looking. Looking defeated in Sigmund Dreyfus, where art thou? He drops his hands to his side and he goes, look, I. I love Ebbit. I do. I really do love the people in this town, the lovely. But there's no future here. They are living out very admirably the end of a useless existence. They need to leave. Nothing will make them go. They need to leave this dead end town, go to one of the other towns. Somewhere that's got a future. And they need to find a life for themselves. I thought I'd scare them away. [00:39:15] Speaker A: Well, mate, I would say, how are you gonna scare them away if you're saying that there's some big googly monster hiding on one of the roads out of here? [00:39:23] Speaker B: Not the road this way. But the ships come through all the time. They should go ahead and move to one of the other towns that are all successful. [00:39:32] Speaker C: But that's not your call, Millard. [00:39:35] Speaker B: What's your name? [00:39:36] Speaker C: This is not your town. [00:39:37] Speaker D: A passive insight. Oh, that is a good question. I have expertise and insight. It's the thing that I've specked into the most. [00:39:45] Speaker B: It's your insight plus 10. [00:39:47] Speaker D: Insight plus 10. Just like so four. So four plus my wisdom which is plus one. That's five. That's 15, Millard. [00:40:01] Speaker B: He's telling a little bit of truth, but something's still off. You can. You can feel it. But he's continuing. What were you saying, Sam? [00:40:09] Speaker C: I said, but that is not your call to make. You do not own this town. [00:40:15] Speaker B: No? [00:40:15] Speaker C: Why do you want them to leave? [00:40:18] Speaker B: Because there's no future here. [00:40:21] Speaker D: I take one of my arrows and I walk up to him and I hold it to his neck and I say, now until you tell me that, you got five seconds to tell me the truth right now, I don't want no b. I don't. I don't want no B.S. nothing. [00:40:31] Speaker B: Another. Another intimidation check. This time at advantage. [00:40:38] Speaker D: Oh, that's an 18 on the first roll, Zachary. And a 17 on the second. Plus one. That's 19 total. [00:40:47] Speaker B: Okay? You draw an arrow and pull it to his throat, and he goes, okay. No, I lied a second time. There's silver in the hills. There's silver in the hills. Sigmund found silver in the hills. The. I do love this town. I do love the people. I swear. I. I swear. I swear. But, look, legally, the old founder set up a contract where everyone has equal rights to properties and resources here. Look, I'm a businessman, okay? I wanted the silver. I'm not saying the town would have benefited, okay? It would have helped. The money would have amassed with me, and I would have trickled it down to everyone else. But the point is, there was silver in the hills. I was trying to discourage people simply from using this path so that Sigmund and I could set up a little operation, get it going. We could start mining. Then once I had secured the right, owned the rights and ownership of the silver, then I would have started employing the townsfolk. Sigmund's not dead. He's not missing. He just went further north to a town. He's working out negotiations with some mining workers to come back here. That's old. I swear. I swear that's the whole truth. I heard about the morpholk. I was like, oh, I'll be the morpho. That's scary. That's the whole thing. I swear. I promise. Please don't kill me. Oh, my goodness. [00:42:00] Speaker D: That does sound like the truth. All right, I'll pay you that one. [00:42:04] Speaker A: I'll give you that, mate. But let me ask you this. If Sigma's not here and the Moorfolk isn't here, then how's we supposed to get something from the Molefolk to get back to you for us to get paid then. [00:42:15] Speaker B: See, that's right. [00:42:15] Speaker D: This sounds like a broken contract. [00:42:17] Speaker A: I think it sounds like something that you've got to fix that Barrows looks. [00:42:22] Speaker B: Right millered right in the eyes and goes. And then he looks back to Glug and he goes, no, Glug, I would just pay you to keep my secret and not kill me. [00:42:35] Speaker C: I think is going to need to have a look at that contract. [00:42:41] Speaker A: Yeah, we'll have to draw that one up. [00:42:42] Speaker B: All right. Contract. [00:42:47] Speaker C: No, the con. [00:42:48] Speaker D: The contract down his forehead and he's like, oh. [00:42:59] Speaker B: Okay. [00:43:00] Speaker D: All right, man. Listen, I, you know, I'm a bit of. I like to think of myself as a businessman, too. [00:43:07] Speaker B: You strike me, you know, savvy. And you. [00:43:10] Speaker D: And, you know, I, I, here, here's what I think, right? Glug got all his ink is gone, so we can't even amend the contract. Let's just go back to town. He's right about that night. We'll drop something in the morning and. And then we'll just. [00:43:26] Speaker B: We'll. [00:43:26] Speaker D: We'll fit. We'll do it right, fair and square. [00:43:28] Speaker C: I'm sorry, what? We need to tell the town that Sigmund is not dead and this man is a liar. [00:43:38] Speaker B: I hear you. I hear you. Raz, hear me out. 62 gold. [00:43:45] Speaker C: I do not want your money. You're. You're, you're. You're lying. Money. [00:43:51] Speaker D: Oh, my goodness. [00:43:55] Speaker B: As you guys are huddling, I want. [00:43:57] Speaker A: To try to pull everyone into a huddle. [00:44:00] Speaker B: He just looks at you, put the hand up on his face, facing toward Sam, and he goes, 50%. So the three of you, what does that even mean? Like, what is. [00:44:14] Speaker D: Okay, I huddled. [00:44:18] Speaker C: I'm holding the torch. [00:44:20] Speaker D: Choices. [00:44:21] Speaker C: Pharaohs. [00:44:22] Speaker D: Still, he's not. I, I just. I give the steely look towards Ruzzling, and I'm like. [00:44:34] Speaker C: Are you saying. [00:44:36] Speaker B: What are you saying? [00:44:40] Speaker C: I don't know what I would say. [00:44:48] Speaker B: Aggressively. [00:44:54] Speaker C: And I, I believe in doing what is right. This man is not right. [00:45:03] Speaker A: I say we could either sign a contract to get some gold from the man, or we could lead him back home and draft up a contract with the town that we can mug him for more money than he's going to give us by himself. [00:45:20] Speaker B: He'll let the contract to mug a man. [00:45:23] Speaker C: I say we tie him up, we take him back to town, we tell the townspeople about the silver, and we come back and get some silver for ourselves. [00:45:34] Speaker B: And as, as Sam and Glug are shouting, millard, you look back over your shoulder, and he's just a distance away looking really concerned, hearing everything you're saying. But Millard, as you look back at him, you get a weird chill down the back of your neck. Some of the feathers raise. And very not that far in the distance, you hear another elk scream. But it's wrong again. This one's. This one's really close to one of those elk screams, but, like, off. Not in the way of someone doing a terrible job imitating them, but like someone doing a really good imitation, just a little wrong. Is some distance away. [00:46:22] Speaker D: Shut up right now. The devil's in those woods. I just heard him. That's not elk. There's something out there. And I see. I smell it. It's gotten. [00:46:29] Speaker B: Look. [00:46:29] Speaker D: Look at my neck. [00:46:31] Speaker A: Maybe that one's Shigman. [00:46:33] Speaker D: I start yelling out, get over here. There's something behind you. I swear. You better run off. [00:46:39] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah. And he runs up to you guys and. And then from somewhere not far on the opposite side of you, another scream that's not quite right. Another. [00:46:52] Speaker D: Mr. Barrows, how are you with a sword? [00:46:54] Speaker B: And I hand him one of my. [00:46:55] Speaker D: Two short swords and I say, he holds it and he goes, you better freaking stab it, all right? [00:47:00] Speaker B: He looks at you, he looks at Glug, and he goes, I'm much better with a contract. [00:47:05] Speaker D: Listen, buddy, you survive this, we'll do three contracts for you. [00:47:10] Speaker A: Maybe you can find the elk out there. And I try and push him further into the woods. [00:47:14] Speaker D: Oh, we got it. [00:47:16] Speaker B: Give me a contested strength. Give me an athletics check. Glug. [00:47:19] Speaker A: Okay, okay. [00:47:20] Speaker D: This man. [00:47:21] Speaker A: Nat one. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Guys. Nat 20. Nat 20. That's incredible. Glug. You go. You walk up to him playfully and you go, maybe you could find him out there. And as you start to push him, the adrenaline's pumping. He was listening to Miller and he goes, oh. And he just turns around and just decks you in the face. Just. He's terrified. It was. It was. It's like. This is not a fighter. He's afraid and deals you one. Exactly one. One point of bludgeoning damage. But you are knocked off your feet as he decks you in the nose. And the. The moment you hit the ground, he goes, so sorry. Sorry, no. Didn't mean that. Keep me here. Please don't let me die. [00:48:04] Speaker D: I. I forgot to face our maker. And I pull out my harmonica and I start playing in something of a. Knock an arrow into my bow. [00:48:12] Speaker C: Are you a bard? [00:48:14] Speaker D: I give her a look as I keep. I can't talk cuz I'm blowing into my wind. My wind instrument. So I. It's Taking my breath. So I keep giving it cuz it sounds better than whatever they're saying. [00:48:23] Speaker C: I. I forgot to mention earlier because it is on my sheet in pen so I promise it was there earlier. She does have a rapier on her side because she. [00:48:33] Speaker D: Because she has the same character every. [00:48:35] Speaker B: Time you get them in every orphanage. [00:48:39] Speaker C: She has heard that her heroes are skilled. [00:48:42] Speaker B: And as you all gather and ready. [00:48:46] Speaker C: I take that I hold it. [00:48:48] Speaker B: You stomp in the quiet and you realize that everything has quit making sound. [00:48:53] Speaker D: That means a big apex predators here you guys. [00:48:56] Speaker B: All the forest has shut up in the night and from nearby some of the grass moves. [00:49:05] Speaker A: Okay, I'm. As soon as I see any grass moving, I want to try and throw one of my hand axes into the woods to try and catch something. [00:49:12] Speaker D: What if it's another Barrows? What if it's draft hand or something? [00:49:16] Speaker B: Simon hard to. [00:49:18] Speaker D: He's mastered the elk noises or something. [00:49:21] Speaker B: Give me a roll to hit. [00:49:24] Speaker A: Okay, that's gonna be. And how do I do this? [00:49:29] Speaker B: I'm listening. [00:49:29] Speaker D: Roll the hit. You just click, click that button right there. [00:49:34] Speaker B: The hit button. [00:49:34] Speaker D: Oh, I touched it. [00:49:35] Speaker A: My bad. Okay, that's. [00:49:36] Speaker D: That doesn't count. [00:49:37] Speaker B: I did that. [00:49:38] Speaker A: Okay, that's plus four. Well, I roll. That's the same as what I rolled. So it would be a 10. [00:49:42] Speaker B: Okay, cool. [00:49:43] Speaker D: The Das tell their own story. [00:49:46] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. [00:49:49] Speaker C: I, I lean over. Oh, did Zach go away? Oh, he, no, he. [00:49:54] Speaker A: I, I lean over to Caught up by the Cryptids. [00:49:57] Speaker C: I, I lean over to Pharos and I go. Isn't another trick, is it? Is not Sigmund in the. What is it? And she's trying to whisper and Barrows. [00:50:11] Speaker B: Totally responds and he's not getting ready in battle map at all. [00:50:15] Speaker C: Yeah, and then she keeps wagging her rapier around the air. [00:50:21] Speaker A: I don't know if Sigmund speaks ilk, but if it is Sigmund, then there's two Sigmunds. So I don't know. I've got both of my ass cause I'm like holding them. [00:50:34] Speaker C: Yeah, maybe there's a third friend in on the silver scheme. [00:50:41] Speaker D: Millard starts whispering to himself in Abyssal. [00:50:48] Speaker B: Okay, so that sounds scary. On the, on the Great Value. [00:50:54] Speaker A: Azeroth metron Zos. [00:50:56] Speaker B: Okay, have you used. Did you just call Raven from Teen Titans? [00:51:04] Speaker A: I don't know what Abyssal's supposed to sound like. [00:51:06] Speaker B: Steven, have you used your inspiration? [00:51:09] Speaker A: What? No, I haven't used it. [00:51:10] Speaker B: I was gonna give it to you again. Okay. On the Great Value battle map, red is Glug. [00:51:17] Speaker D: Sponsored by Walmart. [00:51:19] Speaker B: Blue. Blue is Miller. Purple is Sam or Raz or who, whoever. And then green. Yeah, yeah, I got your back. And then green is Barrows and Glug. You got a 10 on your roll to hit. Yes. [00:51:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:51:37] Speaker B: So Glug. You. You heft the. The hand axe and you. And it flies across the clearing. And as it end over end, gets toward the grass, it doesn't make an impact. It enters the grass and something moves about as fast as the grass as the hand axe and catches it out of the air. Something reaches, grabs the axe and bats it off course. And then there's a really quick shifting in the grass. And this is a clear movement, a path away in the grass somewhere else. [00:52:09] Speaker C: Like away from us, but not too. [00:52:13] Speaker B: Far away from nearby. You hear a sound in the trees. This sounds a whole lot like something trying to make the sound a person makes, but not quite getting it right as a sound from somewhere up above you goes barrows, sparrows. As if someone is repeating a name. It's heard the. But not quite getting the sound right. Sigmund, is that you? You all look up and some of the tree branches are shaking as something is crawling down the tree. And coming down the tree is. Yes, Raphael. I'm not doing anything important. How can I be helpful? Okay, I'm gonna just go ahead and run the microwave, baby. That's okay. Something is. It's okay. It's just the highest intensity moment in the session. Something is crawling down the tree. And you all look as an elongated pale person. Oh, my God. Like a person that died, got a bit stretched out, and then got a little undead, starts crawling down the face of the tree. And you all can look. It's. Its face is like the face of a person, but the eyes are like stretched open and left there. And the jaw is a bit dislocated and remained. And some of the nose is shorn off, but still flaring, like with breath. And the hair is hanging down around the face as they're crawling down. They look depraved of sunlight, they're so pale. And where they're crawling down the tree, the fingers are the right length, but the hand is a bit too long. Just the hand. When they're crawling down the tree. [00:54:00] Speaker A: Tree. [00:54:00] Speaker B: When they press the fingers into the tree, it's not claws that dig in, but the bones in the finger pierce through the skin and dig into the bark. And that's what's crawling down the tree. And that. That figure crawls down a little further and Goes barrows. And as it's crawling down, it just falls out of the tree to the grass and lands right here. And then on the opposite side of the clearing, moving out of the grass, another one comes right about here, emerging out of the grass. This one is shorter, has dark brown skin, a prominent nose that's already starting to fall off, looks a whole lot like the description of Sigmund, and is wearing most of a correct cloak. And this one grabbed. It has the hand axe that you threw, and it's holding it. And to hold it, it just pushed the hand axe into its own chest a little bit. It's just leaving the chest, the hand axe hanging in the pectoral, and it crawls out of the grass and goes marrows. And I'd like everyone to roll me an Initiative. Oh, Zachary. Okay. Use that microwave. [00:55:20] Speaker A: It's like hat. [00:55:21] Speaker B: Let's just do two. [00:55:22] Speaker D: If it's. [00:55:23] Speaker B: You can just roll it. [00:55:26] Speaker C: Whoa. [00:55:27] Speaker D: Initiative roll, my friend. [00:55:28] Speaker B: Not a good Initiative roll. [00:55:30] Speaker D: I got a six. [00:55:31] Speaker A: Holy crap, I got a two. [00:55:36] Speaker D: My dex is plus three. Yeah, I got a six. Oh, he's my DM inspiration. That's a D4, right, Zach? [00:55:43] Speaker B: Yes. Yeah, the. The DM is D4. [00:55:45] Speaker D: My per diem. Yeah. So that is a eight now. [00:55:50] Speaker B: Excellent. Just getting out some rings real quick. Some ones I figure I'll use. [00:55:59] Speaker C: You got a three, Steven. What'd you get? [00:56:02] Speaker A: A two. [00:56:03] Speaker B: Oh, jeez. [00:56:05] Speaker C: I got a 21 somehow. [00:56:08] Speaker B: Holy crap. This is like. [00:56:09] Speaker C: I never. I never roll that high for initiative. And I'm. [00:56:13] Speaker B: What was your. What was your total. Millard Miller? [00:56:19] Speaker D: I got an eight. [00:56:20] Speaker B: Okay, eight. All right, give me one second here and move over this chair. [00:56:28] Speaker A: Oh, and if I. If I can confirm, am I the red one? [00:56:31] Speaker B: Wow. [00:56:32] Speaker D: What'd you say? [00:56:33] Speaker B: Am I. [00:56:33] Speaker A: Which piece am I? Am I red? [00:56:35] Speaker B: Yes, yes, yes, yes. [00:56:36] Speaker A: Okay. [00:56:39] Speaker D: I would not be in the front of them. [00:56:43] Speaker A: I guess I can't choose. [00:56:44] Speaker D: That doesn't make any sense. [00:56:47] Speaker B: I will gladly move you around in a second. Give me just a moment here. Okay, so, Millard, you said your total was what? I'm sorry. [00:56:57] Speaker C: You got eight. [00:56:59] Speaker B: Eight. Okay. And then Pharaoh's gets great. Awesome. [00:57:10] Speaker C: I'm gonna be real honest. I thought his name was Sparrows until a few minutes ago. [00:57:17] Speaker A: Yeah, like Eric's. [00:57:20] Speaker C: I thought it was Eric. [00:57:21] Speaker B: Sparrow arrows. [00:57:23] Speaker C: I don't know where I got that. I even wrote it down as that. [00:57:27] Speaker A: That. [00:57:29] Speaker B: Okay, he got a nine. [00:57:31] Speaker C: Oh, boy. [00:57:32] Speaker B: Looking good for the good guys. And the whites get well. They got a terrible. [00:57:39] Speaker D: Seven. [00:57:40] Speaker B: Nobody's rolling good Tonight. Gosh. This is low initiative. This is the low initiative combat. Okay? So that means at the top of the initiative is you, Sam. [00:57:58] Speaker C: Yeah. [00:57:59] Speaker B: What are you doing? [00:58:05] Speaker C: Okay, she's going to play it. I'm going to. I'm going to play different than I play row. Okay? She doesn't know how RO works. She's going to run. She thinks she's a skilled warrior, so she's going to. 1, 2, 3. She's gonna run to the one, I guess on the left would be the closest to her. She's gonna. Yeah, that one. [00:58:32] Speaker B: Run to it. [00:58:33] Speaker C: Yeah, she's gonna run to it and she's gonna take her rapier and attack. She's just gonna try to take a swipe right at its face. [00:58:44] Speaker B: Excellent. In a phenomenal moment of courage. [00:58:48] Speaker C: And she's gonna. While she's doing it, she's gonna go. [00:58:55] Speaker B: In a truly impressive moment of encourage. Raz, or whoever she is, bolts forward and pulls out her air apron and swings at it. Go ahead and give me a roll to hit. [00:59:06] Speaker C: What do I add to her? [00:59:09] Speaker B: That's up to you, man. It's probably. [00:59:10] Speaker C: Wait, is that. Is that attack bonus? Is that your attack bonus that you add to that? Okay. [00:59:16] Speaker B: Okay, sorry. Millard is on deck. [00:59:19] Speaker C: That's a 15. [00:59:21] Speaker B: Okay, 15 will hit. [00:59:25] Speaker C: Let's go. Okay, so we're gonna do a little. Oh, that I rolled a one. That is one point point of piercing. Damage modifier of. Wait. I'm proficient with a rapier. [00:59:45] Speaker B: Well, that. That helps your bow, your roll to hit. What's your deck? [00:59:49] Speaker C: Oh, that's right. It's been too long. Plus one. So two points of piercing. [00:59:55] Speaker B: Hey, what do we say on here? Damage is dam. So, Sam, you run up and you. You pull out the rapier and you. And as you jab it, the white does not move at all. And you. You get it in there and it jabs into it. And the white just looks down and then back up at you and you. You pull the ravier out. Excellent. Next step in the issue. I'm not gonna lie. This is. This is pretty hard combat. Miller, what are you doing? [01:00:33] Speaker D: I'm going to look at it and I'm going to say. I'm going to point at it and go. Now I say my bad. I'm going to take you back to hell. And then I cat. I use the hunter sense one more time. Okay, but my last time, I can do it twice. [01:00:50] Speaker B: Hey. [01:00:52] Speaker D: I learn the immunities, resistances of vulnerabilities. [01:00:55] Speaker B: Excellent. Let's talk about this. [01:00:57] Speaker D: I Know how best to hurt it specifically as well. [01:01:00] Speaker B: You learn that vulnerabilities but it is immun damage. [01:01:07] Speaker D: I didn't hear the first thing you said. [01:01:09] Speaker B: It has no vulnerabilities but it is immune to poison damage and has resistance to necrotic as well as bludgeoning, piercing and slashing from non magical attacks that are not silvered. Real quick. Give me. Give me a quick strategy check or insight even. [01:01:36] Speaker D: I'll take 22. [01:01:40] Speaker B: Okay. [01:01:40] Speaker D: Insight. [01:01:41] Speaker B: Millard. Silvered. They have a natural weakness to silver. The silver mines. Unearthing the silver drew out the wights. The Morfolk have always been here. But as long as the silver wasn't found, they had no purpose. The silver threatens them. Okay. You glean that information. You do anything else on your turn Millard. [01:02:10] Speaker A: Bill Barrows. [01:02:11] Speaker B: Yes. [01:02:11] Speaker D: Yes. As a bonus action I point at it and I use slayer's prey. [01:02:22] Speaker B: And. [01:02:24] Speaker D: Then I am going to do Raptors have a flying speed in. [01:02:32] Speaker B: They either have that or a glide one of the two. [01:02:34] Speaker D: I mean I can't imagine they applied. [01:02:37] Speaker B: Be crazy if they didn't. [01:02:39] Speaker D: But yeah. They don't have a base walking speed. This is nothing about a fly speed. So I don't think I do actually. [01:02:47] Speaker B: Which is interesting. How could they not? They're burnt. I'm not trying to bog us down. But how on earth could they not have. I'm getting. No they don't. [01:03:00] Speaker D: They definitely don't. But it's okay. I'm sure that they are balancing a different way and that's okay. [01:03:06] Speaker B: Okay. [01:03:07] Speaker D: I guess I get a swimming speed if I chose the Marin Raptor. But I chose a Mistral. [01:03:14] Speaker B: That is so weird. Whatever. [01:03:19] Speaker D: I mean it describes me flying in the sky. I can range for miles without ever setting towel into soil. But I have no fly speed that someone. [01:03:28] Speaker A: He's got to get up. [01:03:29] Speaker B: Oh. [01:03:30] Speaker A: High point. [01:03:32] Speaker D: That's all right. [01:03:32] Speaker B: It's okay. [01:03:34] Speaker D: I don't fly. I. I fall back. [01:03:41] Speaker B: Okay, to where? [01:03:43] Speaker D: I fall back to. I have a 25 foot speed. I'm gonna fall back 25ft. [01:03:49] Speaker B: Excellent. That will definitely keep you on the map. [01:03:54] Speaker D: I'll stay on the map. Just move me back towards wherever I. [01:03:56] Speaker B: Am on the map. I don't think five feet makes any difference. Can we still see you? [01:04:01] Speaker A: There we go. [01:04:02] Speaker B: No, you're close. [01:04:04] Speaker D: Yeah, right there's fine. That's good. [01:04:06] Speaker B: Excellent. Okay. And could you tell me about Slayer's prey? [01:04:12] Speaker D: Slayer's prey is just a. It gives me 1d6 extra damage from my weapon. And it's not a spirit Spell, and it's not concentration. It just exists, and it can coexist with Hunter's mark. [01:04:26] Speaker B: Oh, it's like Hunter's mark, but better. Okay, sick. [01:04:29] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:04:29] Speaker B: And you're marking. [01:04:29] Speaker D: You can do it with Hunter's mark. Yes. [01:04:32] Speaker B: That's dope. That's really cool, actually, with this. [01:04:34] Speaker D: Hey. But at least I can't dodge aoe attacks. Yes. [01:04:38] Speaker B: I. I didn't mean that sarcastically. That feels like an effective imbalanced feature. Sick. That's awesome. Okay, dope, Millard. Next up initiative is don't try poison him. [01:04:50] Speaker D: Don't try and poison him. Whatever you do, don't poise. Don't poison him. [01:04:54] Speaker B: On the beginning of Barrow's turn, he's gonna look at the Sigmund one, and he is going to piss his pants. Literally. He is going to stand there and piss. He just goes, you were carrying trough water. And he just urinates in his pants. Then he moves 1, 2, back 3. He's gonna move behind Glug, holding the sword, readying an attack if the white comes close to him. And that is what he is doing. That's. He's terrified. Next up initiative is, unfortunately, the whites. This is a tough fight, and I'm not gonna lie. I set this fight up for when we had one more participant who volunteered to join. And then I thought, well, Zach, you can take one off. And then I thought, nah, it's a one show. [01:05:54] Speaker D: Who was gonna play? I thought it was always gonna be three. [01:05:57] Speaker B: No. Michael was like, I'm gonna play. And then she was like, no, I'm not gonna play. So one white is gonna do some real awful stuff to Sam. [01:06:09] Speaker C: I want to just let you know before you give the outcome of whatever it is, if they're attacking me, making an attack roll, I would like to use my cutting words reaction. [01:06:31] Speaker B: Well, you have. I. I forgot about this feature. You have one really strong thing working your advantage. Do you know what it is, mechanically speaking? Your dungeon master is Zach. So all of his rules are below 10. I forgot about that rule. I forgot about how that has worked for seven years. So my first two rolls to hit are 11 and 13. Either of those hit 13 hits. Okay? So the first one, it lunges out with a clawed hand. As it does, as it swings around its hand at you, it's like the momentum of its hand pushes the bones back out of the finger, and you get away. And as you lean back, the other one scores you across the chest. Fortunately, it missed you with the big attack, but it hits you with the other One. [01:07:14] Speaker C: And I use. [01:07:16] Speaker B: Yeah, you can. [01:07:17] Speaker C: I was going to use cutting words to take down the damage so I can subtract the number rolled from its damage roll. [01:07:26] Speaker B: Okay, great. Go ahead and do that. [01:07:27] Speaker C: So I can roll my bardic inspiration die and subtract that amount. [01:07:31] Speaker B: You should do that. You should do that. [01:07:34] Speaker C: Three is what I goat. [01:07:38] Speaker B: Okay, well, you took nine, so you can subtract three. You only took six. So as it cuts across you, how do your words reduce its damage? What do you say to it? [01:07:52] Speaker C: I go, I go for the fun guys. [01:08:00] Speaker B: And the white looks so confused for a moment. Then it goes and then it cuts you again. And so that is what reduces the force a little bit. Excellent. Then the other one is going to. To move straight forward. 15. Real shame you hadn't gotten to rage yet. Cl. In the future, if you get the opportunity, I think you should try to roll higher on initiative. [01:08:29] Speaker C: How dare you? [01:08:30] Speaker A: That's a good strategy. [01:08:32] Speaker B: One roll is real awful. One rolls a nine. So what does it look like? As one attack misses you Glug. [01:08:39] Speaker A: As one attack misses me, I'm. I'm trying to like, backpedal towards Barrows. I'm like, if you want Barrows, take Barrows. [01:08:51] Speaker B: You. You step back into him and he goes and glug. Ooh, that's wet. And as you step back into him, the first trike by your head and misses you. And you also avoided the big damage strike. So nice. But you do get hit by the other one. Oh, not great damage. Okay, only. You only take four slashing. As bones of Sigmund Dreyfus push through the fingers and rake across you. Your own blood splatters onto the ground, your orcish blood. And you feel a little, A little range tickling up in your veins. And plug. It's your turn. What are you doing? [01:09:34] Speaker A: He slashed on me, Ty. He shouldn't have done that. Okay, let's see. I'm going to. So I'm assuming I should. I, I. I'm assuming I should rage first. [01:09:48] Speaker B: That's not a bad idea. Is this it help? Yeah. [01:09:53] Speaker D: Rage, definitely. [01:09:56] Speaker A: And I don't really know how rage work. [01:09:58] Speaker D: Well, it's a bonus action. So you just declare that you're doing it. [01:10:01] Speaker A: No, I know. I mean, like how it. What it does after the fact, what. [01:10:05] Speaker B: It'S going gives you. Yes. No. [01:10:08] Speaker D: Zachary, you're. You're the dm. [01:10:10] Speaker B: Okay, well, it's no, it's no big deal. It gives you resistance to bludgeoning and slashing and piercing, which is good for this. Okay. And increases your D damage by. At this level. I want to say two. [01:10:27] Speaker A: Okay. [01:10:30] Speaker B: The pink ring is the slayer Hunters. Slayers. Slayers. [01:10:35] Speaker C: That's right. I forgot. [01:10:38] Speaker B: I don't have a rage that set up. [01:10:39] Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm going to rage and I'm going to say. I don't know, say, get away from me, you. You little creature. Go back. Go back to where you came. And I rolled a 13. [01:11:01] Speaker B: Offensive rage glug says something combative but respectful. And all the veins pulls out in his neck and he froths at the mouth. [01:11:10] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. I rolled a 13 to hit. [01:11:14] Speaker B: Excellent. Hold on, let me check something real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real quick. Before you keep going. Yeah. I want to make sure that I have a detail right for you. Yes. Okay, so plus two extra damage while you're raging. And then. Okay. You already have a feature called reckless attack. So if you want. Yeah, and only if. Yeah, yeah, only if, Steven. Because you do not have to. If you want to, you can attack recklessly. This gives you advantage on the attack, but they also have advantage against you. So it's up to you. [01:11:50] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm gonna. I'm gonna forgo it for this turn. [01:11:54] Speaker B: Okay. [01:11:54] Speaker A: Yeah. Okay. He's not. He's a little too scared right now. [01:11:57] Speaker B: That's okay. As you swing out with a 13, you do not have multi attack is at fifth level, so it's the one attack. As you swing out at the whited Sigmund Dreyfus, you're axe cleaves by. And instead of stepping away from your attack, he steps in past your blade with an unnerving speed. Instead of backing up, he gets toward you when you attack and you miss him by one. And as you swing at him, he steps into your attack and he lets the shaft of the axe just hit. Hit him. Then he wraps his arm around it, gets really close and just goes. And that is going to be the attack. And he's like an. Okay, we go back to the topic. [01:12:47] Speaker A: Not a little disconcerting. [01:12:49] Speaker B: You what? [01:12:50] Speaker A: A little disconcerting? [01:12:52] Speaker B: Yeah, very. He cast Disconcert the topic. Initiative is. Sam, what are you doing? Sam? [01:12:58] Speaker C: I'm going to. I'm going to cast. I'm gonna. I gonna grab my horn and go and cast and cast. Thunder wave at the. At the. [01:13:22] Speaker B: At the. [01:13:23] Speaker C: At the dude in front of me. [01:13:25] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:13:25] Speaker C: Which is. I mean, it's technically a 15 foot cube, but yeah, it's him in front of me. [01:13:31] Speaker B: No, that worked. [01:13:32] Speaker C: He's in the cube and that's Gonna be a con saving throw from you. [01:13:38] Speaker B: Oh, I rolled real bad. Nine. [01:13:43] Speaker C: Well, you, you, you. Mine's a 10. So you just fail. Which means I. [01:13:51] Speaker B: Hey, Jackie, I respect you a lot right now. You guys know how bad I roll all the time. The warriors of the world had a super ultra omega important massive combat the other day. Guys, the crits of like seven years flowed out of me. So they milked it out of me. I'm all out of crits now. It's back to rolling. Awful. So you guys are fine. It was rough. [01:14:27] Speaker C: I rolled well on damage, so that's. It's going to take 14 points of thunder damage and it is really good. And it's going to be pushed 10ft away from me. [01:14:40] Speaker B: Jackie, that's a killer move. [01:14:42] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:14:45] Speaker B: Describe what that looks like to me. [01:14:47] Speaker C: Yeah, I think like coming out of her cord and like she's like kind of pointing with a rapier like this, like this like weird like cloudy rainbow ish magic comes out. That looks kind of like a cloud. Cloud, you know, like a thundercloud and you're seeing like, like little lightning in the cloud and then it's just kind of there in front of the horn and then it goes. And when it does that, I believe it emits. Yeah, it emits a thunderous boom audible to 300ft. So it's like Bryn does like thunder. [01:15:22] Speaker B: So yes, as the shock wave erases, erupts out with the, with the cloud and the sound, the white actually gets pushed back by going out end over end, like rolling back and landing on its feet and then standing up. The worst part is that when it stands up, it picks its legs up first, then its hands to stand up. And it's clearly pushing itself up, not with its back first like a person, but with its hips first and then pulls the hips, the shoulders up and then lets the neck follow. Very unsettling. [01:15:54] Speaker D: It didn't skip hip day. [01:15:59] Speaker B: Actually. So really the white's just modeling good, good physical health to us all. As it stands back up, the pale skin is full of gashes and impacts and bruises. It's looking fairly hurt. Not bloodied, but fairly hurt. Nice, Steven. Bloodied just means half damage if that's not a term you've heard. Okay, Millard is up in initiative. What's he doing? [01:16:24] Speaker D: I knock an arrow and then I say die and I cast zephyr strike. [01:16:32] Speaker B: Oh yes. [01:16:34] Speaker D: And so like the wind rushes into the trees and under my wings I draw my bow and like and I let an arrow loose and there's like A red zing to it as it flies out. Like pretend held faster than it should be. And I'm gonna get advantage on this roll, Lando. [01:16:54] Speaker B: This is sick. This is one of Jenny's go to spells. [01:16:58] Speaker D: So I got a 13 plus seven is a 20, a natural 20. And then I go to my. [01:17:09] Speaker A: Are you hitting? [01:17:09] Speaker B: You're hitting this one or this one Millard? [01:17:11] Speaker D: The one that has the ring. [01:17:13] Speaker B: Okay, okay. Oh, duh. Sorry. Please continue. Dumbest thing. [01:17:19] Speaker D: And damage is just your. Like, you don't add proficiency to that. You just add your damage modifier stat. All right, so that is base damage is one D8. [01:17:30] Speaker B: Yes. [01:17:33] Speaker D: And that is an eight. Holy cow. Plus three, that is 11 plus my prey. That is a D6. See what that is? That's a one. Gotta even it out one way or another. [01:17:47] Speaker B: 12. [01:17:49] Speaker D: Plus my one D8 of force damage from Zephyr strike. [01:17:54] Speaker B: I think. [01:17:54] Speaker D: Is it 1D8? [01:17:55] Speaker A: I think it's 1D8. [01:17:56] Speaker B: I believe so. [01:17:57] Speaker A: 1D8. [01:17:58] Speaker D: Okay, so that is right now I am at 12 and I caught a one on a force damage. So that is 13. And one of those is not resistanced. So seven. Seven total. [01:18:15] Speaker B: Seven total. Not 13. Oh, you forgot what it was resisting. Thank you, Lando. Thank you. As you knock your arrow and fire and the wind comes behind you, one rushes with it, the arrow punches and into it and through it, out the other side and in a tree opposite the clearing. And it's got a hole punched in it. And it looks down, no blood comes out, but it falters a little at the step and then looks up at you with a slightly slackened jaw. A mortal wound for a living creature. But the white is all right. [01:18:53] Speaker C: The white is all right. [01:18:54] Speaker B: Though it does look bloody. No blood, but it looks bloodied. You know what I'm saying? [01:18:59] Speaker D: I'm going to move farther away from the one that's next to me. Like that way. Yes, perfect. [01:19:08] Speaker B: Oh. [01:19:10] Speaker D: Yes. No, you're good, you're good. Yeah, Perfect. Yes, yes, yes. [01:19:14] Speaker B: I didn't want to. Yeah. Okay, Barrows is up. He's going to make a charisma saving throw. To try and not be a coward, I'm always. Zach, from behind you glug. You hear some whimpering and. Yes, yes, pissing. Next up are the white. This white is gonna run straight back in your face. I didn't roll quite so awful this time. I think I still miss you with this one. Oh, this is the red one's the big die. Or the orange one does a 13 miss again. That hits. [01:19:59] Speaker D: 13 hits, Zach. [01:20:02] Speaker C: Oh, me. I'm sorry. I was so confused. It does hit. Oh, I was blanking out. [01:20:10] Speaker B: That's stupid. [01:20:11] Speaker C: Wait, I'm gonna use my reaction again to cut, because it's a new round to cut damage. [01:20:22] Speaker B: Okay, well, you take seven points of slashing damage as it grabs you again with bony claws and digs into you. [01:20:36] Speaker C: I minus four I'll use. [01:20:39] Speaker B: Okay, excellent. So only three. That's good. Also, are you keeping track of how many bardic inspirations we're expending, I assume? [01:20:45] Speaker C: Yes, sir. I'm out, then. Of bardic inspirations. [01:20:49] Speaker B: Now another one as it slashes into you. You again say something weird about the fungi that looks confused as it grabs you instead of hitting you again, it digs its claws in deeper, and it just sort of breathes a coldness that comes out of its fingers. And you now take another seven point of necrotic damage, and your hit point max is reduced by this seven. Oh, you take this seven, and then your hit point total is lower by seven. [01:21:22] Speaker C: Well, I'm. You mean, like. Okay, so, like, I can't. If I heal, I can't go above my normal minus seven. Correct. [01:21:32] Speaker B: Yes. Yes. [01:21:33] Speaker C: So I can't go above 12. [01:21:37] Speaker B: Yep. Yeah. Whites are no joke. [01:21:40] Speaker C: I'm at three hit points right now. [01:21:45] Speaker B: You guys look over and. And Raz looks real bad. He's bleeding everywhere some. She has varicose veins pumping up her neck. And her skills looking. The skin's looking pale and pallid and sallow, and the white is getting really close to her. Riz. [01:22:01] Speaker D: I'll save you, Riz. Maybe the last of you here. [01:22:08] Speaker B: Oh, I forgot about this. Please. Oops. Yeah. Okay, I rolled real awful again. My first roll is a six, and then my next one is up. Jackie did not like that. My next one is a 13. It was a 13. Hit. [01:22:26] Speaker A: 13 hits. [01:22:26] Speaker B: Oh, no. Oh, no. Guys. [01:22:29] Speaker D: How do I have a better AC than you guys do? [01:22:31] Speaker A: I don't understand. [01:22:32] Speaker D: Oh, because my dad. [01:22:33] Speaker B: I did not roll well on damage. You take four points of slashing, which, since you're raging, goes down to two. [01:22:40] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. [01:22:41] Speaker B: Yeah, like, that one wasn't as bad. [01:22:45] Speaker A: As the last one. I can take these. [01:22:49] Speaker B: Excellent. [01:22:50] Speaker A: Okay, so now I. I become emboldened. I'm like, my tie is already torn to shreds. Yeah, we're getting ready to go. I see the other one getting beat up on just, like, the giant, thunderous claps up. Oh, okay, we're ready to go. And I'm gonna. I'm gonna use my Inspiration to try and hit this guy with my great axe. [01:23:08] Speaker B: Heck yeah. [01:23:10] Speaker A: Okay, that was good. Yeah, that was good. So that's a 20 to hit. [01:23:15] Speaker B: That'll do it, my guy. [01:23:16] Speaker A: And. And for damage or. [01:23:27] Speaker B: For total or total. [01:23:30] Speaker A: I think I. I was gonna. Yes, I think it's four. [01:23:34] Speaker B: Total. [01:23:34] Speaker A: Yeah. Because it's just plus two. It was two. It was just two. [01:23:37] Speaker B: Okay, okay. And you're raging, so that's another two. [01:23:41] Speaker A: Oh, it's another two. [01:23:43] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:23:44] Speaker A: Okay. [01:23:44] Speaker B: Okay. Hey, y', all, we're getting it started. Damage is damage as you slash. [01:23:50] Speaker A: I was thinking, like, I'm gonna slash this guy. I was so caught up in it, I. I hit him with the. With the. Not even the axe, just the blunt end of it. [01:24:00] Speaker D: You take this here like a spatula. [01:24:04] Speaker B: As you smack Sigmund Dreyfus over the head with the blunt end of your axe. You knock a bunch of the teeth out of the white's mouth. And Barrows is over your shoulder going, use the shit. [01:24:18] Speaker A: Look, mate, I'll get to it next time. [01:24:21] Speaker B: That's that turn. Back up to the top initiative. Sam, it's your turn. I can't hear you, Jackie, if you're talking. [01:24:34] Speaker C: My bad. Okay, I'm going to bonus action Healing word. [01:24:42] Speaker B: Oh, that's a good idea. [01:24:47] Speaker C: So I'm gonna get. [01:24:53] Speaker B: I didn't make that gift. [01:24:56] Speaker C: Yeah. A while ago. [01:24:58] Speaker A: That's a gift. [01:24:59] Speaker D: Who is that? [01:24:59] Speaker C: Yeah, I made it a long time ago. That's gonna be font from. [01:25:06] Speaker A: It's like Minecraft font. [01:25:07] Speaker D: No. Yeah, you can't just. They just give that away. [01:25:10] Speaker A: I'm sure you can find it somewhere. Really? [01:25:13] Speaker C: I got four points. [01:25:16] Speaker A: I'm sure someone's recreated it. I don't know. [01:25:18] Speaker C: I got four points of healing. I don't know what's going on. And I'm gonna mark that off mine. Okay, Remind me because I can I cast or. Because I know it's a bonus action, but I can only cast once in a turn. [01:25:39] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, you can't do. Oh, I can stab it with your rapier. [01:25:44] Speaker C: Oh, well, we're going to. We're gonna cast. We're gonna cast vicious mockery. [01:25:52] Speaker B: Yeah. And. [01:25:58] Speaker C: I'm trying to remember how it works because I never use it. Lando, my eye is twitching. Sorry. I'm gonna wisdom saving throw. [01:26:13] Speaker B: Okay. [01:26:14] Speaker A: This poor little skinwalker is gonna be so confused. [01:26:17] Speaker B: If I fail, I have disadvantage on my next attack, Right? [01:26:20] Speaker C: Correct. [01:26:21] Speaker B: Oh, oh, no, I got. [01:26:24] Speaker D: But you deal. No damage. [01:26:25] Speaker C: You got a 15 or take or have to. Okay. [01:26:31] Speaker D: If it doesn't succeeds, it does nothing. [01:26:33] Speaker C: Oh, you do still take the damage. [01:26:35] Speaker D: Oh, no. [01:26:36] Speaker C: What do you take? Half damage? [01:26:38] Speaker D: No, if it succeeds, you take nothing. [01:26:41] Speaker C: Okay, Jackie, this is not campaign. [01:26:45] Speaker B: This is a very unserious, silly one shot at a low level. So if you can come up with an excellent insult, I'll let you deal the damage anyway. [01:26:54] Speaker C: Okay. An excellent insult. [01:27:00] Speaker B: That would really hurt the white's feelings. [01:27:02] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:27:03] Speaker B: Definition. [01:27:04] Speaker C: She is going. She is going to look that white in the eyes with no tremble in her voice, and she is going to say, unfortunately, I bet you were uglier when you were human. [01:27:25] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:27:27] Speaker D: That's actually kind of not bad. I'm impressed, Jackie. I don't be able to cope with anything. [01:27:35] Speaker B: Dang. [01:27:35] Speaker A: Look at this glow up. [01:27:37] Speaker C: Yeah, that's three points of damage. [01:27:42] Speaker B: Hey, damage is damage. This thing's looking rough. It's looking rough. Oh, no. Okay, dope. [01:27:51] Speaker C: Cool. [01:27:52] Speaker B: Next in initiative is Millard. [01:27:59] Speaker D: Millard is gonna drop Zephyr Strike and use his last spell slot to cast Hunter's Mark on the thing. [01:28:09] Speaker B: Heck yeah. Is Hunter's mark concentration? I can never remember. [01:28:13] Speaker D: It is concentration. Yes. So I'm concentrating. Zephyr Strike is also concentration, by the way. [01:28:18] Speaker B: We don't really need it. I just like using my. Hey, use them. [01:28:21] Speaker D: Abuse them. And then he's gonna say, all right, so. So you're supposed to. This is the part where you die now, actually. And he's gonna pull out his little arrows and he's gonna say, bada bing, bada boom. And then just let it go. And he's gonna roll and pray that it hits. [01:28:45] Speaker B: Oh. [01:28:49] Speaker D: Should have played harder. That is a nine. [01:28:56] Speaker B: The arrow flies forward. But as you're knocking your arrow, as you're readying to launch it, Sam gets a little off kilter, wavering in her bloody semi conscious state. And all of a sudden you're like, oh, I'm gonna hit her. And you veer hair off a little bit. And you. You fire it a little wide. Still trying to hit. And it just past the white. [01:29:18] Speaker A: Yep. [01:29:19] Speaker B: Somewhere. Somewhere in the forest, you hear a squirrel or some small man, an elk. [01:29:27] Speaker D: I just go, elysium did. That's a deep cut if anybody gets it. [01:29:30] Speaker B: But if you play disco, Elysium is Barrows. He's gonna make a charisma save to not be a coward. [01:29:39] Speaker C: Got this, Barrows? Oh, you don't got. [01:29:43] Speaker D: Can I, Can I? Zachary, this is a silly one shot. And by that logic, can I say something to try and inspire him? [01:29:48] Speaker B: Yes. [01:29:50] Speaker D: All Right. I look at Barrows and I say, you're gonna live, man. But do you want to live with the burden of knowing you're gonna let her die? Go up and stab that thing right now. You can do it. [01:30:03] Speaker B: Okay. Excellent. Sam, can you say anything inspirational? Also? [01:30:14] Speaker D: That was a good thing I said. That was great. [01:30:17] Speaker B: That was literally the best thing I've ever heard anyone say. Sam, can you say something inspiring as well? Wow. [01:30:24] Speaker C: I think it's a surprise. I say be the hero, the fun guys. Who would want you to be. [01:30:33] Speaker A: Can I add something on? Yeah, yeah. Okay. I. I look behind me, I pat him on the back. I go, mate. They're weak to pierce. You got to use it while you have it. [01:30:47] Speaker B: They're weak. First of all, take inspiration again. You're. You're now land and Jackie and Steven, I want all three of you to roll me D4s. Okay? I'm adding all of them onto what he got. [01:31:03] Speaker C: So you had a four and a four. [01:31:05] Speaker A: No, that's a one. [01:31:07] Speaker B: I got a one, two. [01:31:09] Speaker C: Well, I rolled four. [01:31:10] Speaker B: That's eight. He gets up to 10. So he's gonna go. He's gonna go, I'm a big rich boy. And then he's going to go 5, 10, 15 to the other side. He doesn't know what flanking in, but he's panicked and getting behind the. The other guy sounds like a good idea. And oh, I rolled so good for Barrows. Okay, you said you gave him a sword. [01:31:43] Speaker D: I did. I gave him a short sword. [01:31:45] Speaker B: Okay. He has no bonus to damage. But I roll. Okay. I rolled some damage. He hits a white that cannot face him with a short sword, and yet still he doesn't hurt it much. That's just how bad he is with the weapon. He goes. And then he strikes it. And as he does the, like, the sharp edge of the blade goes down its back. He just kind of like, he makes connection, but he doesn't drive forward with the strike. He connects and then just kind of pulls down. So he cuts it and it down the back and the white goes. He turns around and looks at it and he goes arrows. And yeah, so it. It does take more damage. [01:32:32] Speaker D: Not much proud of him, though. It's got to be a little proud of him, you know, stupid. Like it's stupid choice, but at least proud of him. [01:32:39] Speaker B: And bar Barrows gets done striking with a sword. He looks up at the sword and he goes, I am a hero. And next up in initiative, you go to the whites, which is really funny to say. Stupid joke, but it keeps getting me. Okay. Wow. A four and a five. I mean, they're weak to pit. You've never played with me before, Stephen, but this is. This is actually. This is really very typical. I mean, Jackie and Landon. Is this not for the most part, how it's been going for four years? [01:33:21] Speaker D: He literally crits everything. I don't know why he's telling like this. Like, every single die is maxed in. [01:33:26] Speaker B: Listen to Jackie. She's telling the truth. [01:33:29] Speaker C: I think some of us would have died a long time ago if he didn't roll the way he did. [01:33:34] Speaker B: You got four or five combats where I hit them like three times. The whole combat. [01:33:39] Speaker D: Sometimes he forgets to use parts of the character. [01:33:42] Speaker C: Yeah, okay, we all do that. We all do that. [01:33:45] Speaker D: Okay, well, I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just saying that was actually true. [01:33:50] Speaker B: Anywho, the one that's going to attack. That's going to attack. Sam goes to reach out and strike at her again. And Barrows just hits it over the head with the sword, the blood edge again. And the white just looks distracted and turns around and again goes Barrows. And after he accidentally hits with the blood edge instead of the sharp edge, he looks over at you glug, and he goes. I'm sorry, I was wrong. It's actually very hard to remember which side. And then the light's gonna attack Glug again. That is. That is. And I'm not kidding. The fourth time, I rolled a four on this die. [01:34:29] Speaker C: That's a cool dice, though. [01:34:31] Speaker B: Orange. [01:34:31] Speaker D: Yeah, it's nice. [01:34:32] Speaker C: Orange and sparkly. [01:34:36] Speaker B: So again, you are not hit by the high damage strike. I rolled a 14 on the other one. That hits, correct? [01:34:43] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah, that hits okay. [01:34:47] Speaker B: Not a lot of damage, though. Only five. Slashing, which rounds down to two. So you're okay. Pretty. Wow. [01:34:54] Speaker A: These whites should just. This guy. [01:34:57] Speaker D: Yeah, I still have your, like, jar dagger. [01:35:00] Speaker A: Huh? [01:35:01] Speaker D: Glass. [01:35:01] Speaker A: No, I gave that back. Yeah, I gave that back to the. To the bartender. It's too bad. [01:35:06] Speaker B: That would also be an improvised weapon. That would be a 1D4. So it's not good. But is Glug funny? What you doing? [01:35:15] Speaker A: I think if these guys, if. If they somehow, by some weird magic, survive this, at the end of the night, they're going to be going back and I think we're going to become the Cryptids at the end of this. Like, this has been the weirdest night they've ever had. Anyway. I'm gonna keep. Keep on raging, keep it going. My big Great accent. I'm gonna use my new inspiration again. [01:35:39] Speaker B: Heck, yeah. [01:35:41] Speaker A: It's a 15. [01:35:42] Speaker B: Glug gets it, guys. That hits. [01:35:45] Speaker A: Nice. Okay, there you go. [01:35:49] Speaker B: I think you were born to be Glug, dude. Yeah, that's a 14. [01:35:53] Speaker A: That's a 14 for damage. [01:35:56] Speaker B: That's great. [01:35:59] Speaker A: I don't like this guy. [01:36:00] Speaker D: Have the seven, but. [01:36:02] Speaker B: Yeah, but, you know, that's a great. [01:36:05] Speaker D: That's almost max damage. That's two away from max damage. [01:36:07] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:36:09] Speaker D: That means you could have only done one more point of damage. Like, if you've done max damage. [01:36:13] Speaker B: Only one. What does the big old strike of damage look like? Glug, as you. [01:36:18] Speaker A: It's a big old overhead swing just going straight in there. I want to cleave this guy in half. [01:36:24] Speaker B: As you cleave into him, the bones catch in the middle and stop it. But you push. Your ax sinks, like, three or four inches into his chest as you pull it out. A killing blow to a. To an. To a living person. But as you pull it out, no blood flow close. And he just looks up at you, and he goes, you know, glug is kind of a strange name. And then we're gonna go back to the top initiative. [01:36:50] Speaker A: Well, I used to have a last name, but I got rid of it. [01:36:53] Speaker B: Oh, that makes sense. [01:37:00] Speaker A: Exactly, mate. This one gets you. He's gonna have to die when he gets here. [01:37:04] Speaker B: Back to the top of an initiative. Just. [01:37:06] Speaker A: Now realize these people are actually sentient. [01:37:11] Speaker B: Goes. Okay, wait, God, hear me out. They're kind of cool. Okay. [01:37:18] Speaker C: I have a question. [01:37:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:37:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:37:22] Speaker C: If I. If I don't move away from him, but I move to the other side of him, does he still have attack of opportunity? [01:37:34] Speaker B: You do not leave his melee range. You do not lose attack of opportunity. Now, if you quit being on the opposite side, Barrows no longer has advantage to hit. But you could. [01:37:46] Speaker C: Yeah, but if it's. [01:37:49] Speaker B: Hey, if it's advantageous to you, you can. I just want to make sure. Yeah. [01:37:51] Speaker C: I'm gonna move. Move there on the other side. [01:37:58] Speaker B: I can see where you're pointing from the other side of Texas, but why don't you give me a reference point. [01:38:02] Speaker C: On the map where I'm gonna move to the other side. No, there. And one more there. And I'm gonna cast a thunder wave again. Okay. Because I didn't want to kill Barrows. [01:38:22] Speaker D: Kill Barrows. [01:38:23] Speaker B: You're gonna. [01:38:23] Speaker C: Okay, I don't want to kill him. [01:38:26] Speaker B: Now, hold on. Something you should know is thunder wave originates from you, is the center point. So that would make your 15 foot cube also on barrels. [01:38:38] Speaker D: Just move down one square and then do it. [01:38:43] Speaker B: Problems? Yeah. Excellent. It doesn't make any sense, but here we are. Okay. [01:38:50] Speaker C: Sure. Okay. So con. Saving throw. [01:38:54] Speaker B: Excellent. [01:38:58] Speaker C: Oh, no. Did you say 12? [01:39:03] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:39:03] Speaker C: Well, you still take half damage. Half damage, but you aren't pushed. [01:39:09] Speaker B: No. [01:39:10] Speaker C: Oh, I rolled two eights, so 16, which is halved. [01:39:16] Speaker A: So nice. [01:39:17] Speaker C: I rolled max damage. [01:39:21] Speaker B: As you go on the horn, it thunders outward. As it roars outward, the. The white is pushed but into barrows. As it hits him, he goes, ow, I'm delicate. And as it falls back forward. Oh, Sam, it's looking so rough. And as it falls back forward, it does look. Look weakened. [01:39:43] Speaker C: Okay. [01:39:44] Speaker B: By the piss from bears. [01:39:49] Speaker D: That's not true because I would have seen it. I would have known. I would have seen the vulnerability. You said I had no vulnerability, Zach. [01:39:56] Speaker A: You said it's a new one. It just. [01:39:59] Speaker B: Right now it's just developed. It. It's new. It's like an allergy. [01:40:02] Speaker C: New vulnerability just dropped. [01:40:05] Speaker D: New evocation. [01:40:06] Speaker A: When have they been exposed to it before? Like. [01:40:09] Speaker C: Yeah, they've never experienced the pus. [01:40:12] Speaker B: Whites live pissless lives. And I want that to be quoted out of context from me. [01:40:20] Speaker A: This is a well known fact. [01:40:22] Speaker D: I can't wait to clip that and put it on Patreon. [01:40:24] Speaker A: I'm editing the Wikipedia page right now. [01:40:26] Speaker D: We have a Wikipedia. [01:40:29] Speaker B: The only section for Zach just says white lives 20, 21 1. [01:40:36] Speaker D: All right, I'm going to roll a hit. [01:40:39] Speaker B: Excellent. [01:40:41] Speaker D: I'm going to roll and I'm going to pray harder this time. I got an 18. [01:40:47] Speaker B: An 18 will hit if I do one damage. [01:40:51] Speaker A: Will it die or do I have. [01:40:52] Speaker B: To hit a certain number? Yeah, one's not going to kill it. [01:40:56] Speaker D: Okay, Zach going to make me do it. You're going to make me start rolling. [01:41:01] Speaker B: Make them, dog. [01:41:05] Speaker D: There's a three on my basic plus three. That's six. Plus I get a. I get another six. A one from my D6. And then with. So that's seven total. Oh, my goodness. Guys out here doing his mark gets me another D6. So that is five. That is 13. [01:41:33] Speaker B: No, 12. [01:41:34] Speaker D: 12 to 12. [01:41:35] Speaker A: 12 12. [01:41:36] Speaker B: Okay. All right, so how do you want to do this? [01:41:40] Speaker D: I. I want to knock an arrow and I'm gonna say, all right, now this one, I give the arrow a little kiss and I say hi to Satan for me and I. I fire it. [01:41:53] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [01:41:53] Speaker D: I fire it and it goes straight into his. [01:41:59] Speaker B: I don't know. [01:42:00] Speaker D: I want him to still be able to say arrows as he dies. So I. I hit him, like in the shoulder, like a. Like a Legolas death. [01:42:09] Speaker B: Excellent. And as you knock your arrow, tell him to say hi to Satan and fire it. It plunges into where the heart would be. And as he falls to the side, the white falls to the ground and suddenly goes, I've suddenly become very religious. And then dies. Steven, as a reference in our campaign, how do you want to do this? And in most D and D means how do you want to kill the monster? So with that. Okay. He already knew. I can't gauge what you do and don't know. [01:42:38] Speaker A: No, it's fine. No, I. I didn't know specifically about the bloodied thing, so that was okay. I just. Yeah. [01:42:46] Speaker B: As the arrow punches into him, the wight falls over, no longer undead, but dead. And it is out of. It's gone. It's dead, though. [01:42:56] Speaker A: Nice. [01:42:58] Speaker B: Next up in Initiative is Barrows. Barrows is going to. He's gonna look over at Millard and he's gonna go, great job, Millet. That's. That was mostly me, but you did wonderful. Then he's going to go, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25. He's feeling exhilarated now. And before he attacks this one, he's. [01:43:20] Speaker D: Going to go whatever he wants. [01:43:22] Speaker A: Like he's sprinting over. [01:43:24] Speaker B: Before he takes. Before he takes this one, he lifts his sword excitedly, completely forgetting that he's covered in his own piss. And he's going to go. The fun guys will take me. [01:43:33] Speaker C: And Sam rolls her eyes so hard, all of a sudden, I again rolled. [01:43:41] Speaker B: Super high for barrows rolls an 18 hit. That's amazing. And he rolls again deeply ine. He hits it over the head with the blunt part of the sword again. But this time, as he leans past his shoulder, he looks at you glug. And he goes. He wings. And he goes. That one was on purpose. [01:44:15] Speaker A: You're using that like a tennis racket, mate. [01:44:24] Speaker B: All right, I didn't roll so bad this time. So now that is a 21 to hit. Oh, but bad damage. Three slashing. So you take one point of damage. But I did get a crit with the life training one. Oh, no. So that's gonna be. You take eight points of necrotic damage. You do not resist this. You take eight points of damage and your max is lowered by the eight. [01:45:07] Speaker A: Okay, I'm right on. I'm. I'm getting there. I'm starting to like. [01:45:14] Speaker D: Oh, he's bloody. [01:45:15] Speaker A: This might is. [01:45:16] Speaker B: It's right on. It's. [01:45:17] Speaker A: It's Right on the edge. No, you're right. [01:45:20] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:45:20] Speaker A: They're getting bloodied. The tie is completely gone at this point. [01:45:27] Speaker D: In his rage shreds. [01:45:29] Speaker A: Yeah, the little shreds are coming off. [01:45:32] Speaker B: Glug is standing there just going, I'm getting bloodied. I'm getting real bloody. [01:45:37] Speaker C: I'm getting bloody bloodied. [01:45:40] Speaker B: Oh, that's. [01:45:41] Speaker D: I can't wait to get home and get some beans and toast. Spot black, the beans and D. Oh. [01:45:47] Speaker A: He does want the tea, though. Yeah, he doesn't do. He doesn't. [01:45:49] Speaker B: I can't smack one p wet. Next up initiative is Glug. [01:45:54] Speaker A: Yeah. I'm saying, oh, no, my, you've bloodied me now. Now you're going to get reckless attacked, and I'm going to reckless attack the man. [01:46:04] Speaker B: All of Glug's attacks break the fourth wall. Yes. The big Glug. [01:46:09] Speaker A: Watch out for this hit from on. Great axe, mate. And then I. So I'm gonna advantage for that and get a 23 to hit. [01:46:21] Speaker B: Well, that'll do it, Glug. It should do it. [01:46:24] Speaker A: Arce And I got the 14 damage again. Plus, where does it show that the. The reckless attack with rage active gets me additional 2d6 damage. So that's gonna be plus 7. So that's gonna be 21 damage. [01:46:48] Speaker B: That's phenomenal. Glug. How do you deal a ton of damage to this thing? [01:46:56] Speaker A: I'm thinking it's like. It's like. It's so fast. It was almost one strike, but I'm going like an X. Like, I'm going check like two. [01:47:05] Speaker B: Two ways as you carve into its chest. With one, you do that thing where people just roll the weapon in their hand. So you carve through on one side, then roll it with your wrist, leave, and it's a fluid just. And as you come around with it, you carve into it and you actually cut some of the ribs out of it. Start hanging to a side, and instead of pouring out disgusting viscera, it's. It's instead like, just like hollow, dusty decay that Paul that falls out. Okay, next up in did not understand lessons, Landon's message. Next up, initiative, we go back to the top to Sam. What are you doing, Skitty Sam? [01:47:48] Speaker C: I'm going to go over there. [01:47:51] Speaker A: That's mountains. [01:47:52] Speaker D: That's the. [01:47:53] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [01:47:54] Speaker C: I'm gonna go over there by. I'm gonna go. What am I trying to say? [01:48:01] Speaker B: Good. [01:48:02] Speaker C: I'm fine. I would like to go just straight across and be right in front of the. The. The. The white yeah, right there. Thank you. That's going too long. [01:48:20] Speaker B: You arrive and he goes, michael, okay, what else are you doing? I. [01:48:31] Speaker C: It's. Is it bloodied? Bloodied? Yeah, like. Okay, I am going to cast vicious mockery on it. So that's a wisdom saving throw. Is this the one that looks like Sigmund? [01:48:56] Speaker B: Yes, this is Sigmund. [01:48:57] Speaker C: Oh, makes me sad. [01:48:59] Speaker B: It doesn't look like him. It. [01:49:00] Speaker A: It is him. [01:49:02] Speaker C: That's what I. That's what I meant. I'm. Sam is gonna say, this is cause you tried to steal from the town. [01:49:20] Speaker B: Excellent. I rolled a nat 20. [01:49:24] Speaker C: Yeah, see, it didn't make sense. [01:49:26] Speaker D: Capitalists have no moral spine. Jackie, you know this. [01:49:29] Speaker B: However. [01:49:30] Speaker C: However, she doesn't. [01:49:32] Speaker B: If you can give me another insult, it's just really hurtful. I'll let you do the damage even though you don't get the other vanity. [01:49:39] Speaker C: Okay? So she says, this is what you get for stealing from the town. [01:49:51] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:49:55] Speaker C: You. She's gonna say, this is stupid. She's gonna say, and you are the piss of the abyss. [01:50:08] Speaker B: Roll your D4. Roll your D4. [01:50:11] Speaker C: That's a 3. [01:50:15] Speaker B: Excellent. You are up. [01:50:21] Speaker C: Oh, can I. Bonus action. Heal myself. I'm so sorry. Okay, thank you. I'll do that. Go. You can go ahead with your hunters. [01:50:29] Speaker D: Mark him. And then Millard's going to roll the hit with his bow. And he's gonna. He doesn't have a quip. He's just gonna. [01:50:45] Speaker B: Oh, maybe that's why I should start flipping. [01:50:48] Speaker D: He rolls a nine. I think he's worried because everyone's congregating around it. He's like, guys, guys, I'm supposed to try to hit this thing with my little sharp sticks. And y' all are like, not making it easy for me. [01:51:01] Speaker B: Why don't you come up arrow? And it's like, Sam's. Then. [01:51:06] Speaker D: And you're just like, God, guys, come on now. Give me some space in the room. [01:51:12] Speaker B: That boy again. [01:51:13] Speaker D: All right. [01:51:15] Speaker B: Goes by. Excellent. Barrows is up. Barrows goes. Step aside, friends. I think I'm actually amazing. And he's going to try and hit again. [01:51:27] Speaker C: This guy. [01:51:32] Speaker B: He hits again and he just shouts, oh. Secretly the protagonist all along. He deals another five damage. It halves, but dang, this time he just pulls this. The sword back and stabs it in the back. His head again. Glug. You see his head come around from the side and he goes. I found the pointy bit. [01:52:04] Speaker A: I knew you could do it. [01:52:06] Speaker B: Next up is the white, who is going to. You know what? Jackie and Steven both roll me a D20 and let me know who got higher. [01:52:17] Speaker A: Okay. [01:52:20] Speaker C: Rolled an 8. [01:52:21] Speaker B: 19. All right, Jackie. [01:52:26] Speaker C: Coming for me. [01:52:27] Speaker D: Barrows has to roll. Two Barrows has to roll. [01:52:30] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:52:30] Speaker C: What about Barrows? [01:52:31] Speaker B: Barrows needs to roll. Barrel rolled higher than everyone else. This guy. This one is gonna 20. [01:52:42] Speaker A: He's gone slippery. [01:52:43] Speaker B: No, but he rolled. Really? He rolled, like, 17 or something. [01:52:47] Speaker A: I got a 19. Yeah, yeah, yeah. [01:52:49] Speaker C: But I still rolled, Lois. [01:52:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:52:52] Speaker D: No, no, he said. Zach said he wrote the high. I was just confused. [01:52:57] Speaker B: Being a slippery little guy, I was just confused. Jackie. Bless you. You take four points of slashing. [01:53:08] Speaker C: Okay? Oh, boy. [01:53:11] Speaker B: And four slashing. Another seven points of necrotic. And your max is lowered by another seven. Where you at, Jekyll? [01:53:21] Speaker C: So my max, just for everyone is. My max is 5G. [01:53:29] Speaker B: Oh, my God. And also, Jackie, just as a point of reference, if your max is lowered to zero, you just die. You don't go unconscious. When max HP is lowered to zero, you just die. [01:53:44] Speaker C: Okay, so four slashing, seven necrotic. I'm just gonna speed on past that fact. So we are at. I'm down. [01:53:54] Speaker B: Okay. [01:53:55] Speaker A: Okay. [01:53:58] Speaker C: Do I need to measure how much I'm down, or am I just at zero? [01:54:02] Speaker B: No, no, but do record where your max is. [01:54:06] Speaker C: No, I recorded. My max is five. [01:54:09] Speaker B: Exact. [01:54:10] Speaker D: I mean, technically, if her max is five now, that could have gone more than. I guess not. Couldn't have gone double her. No. [01:54:17] Speaker C: What? [01:54:21] Speaker B: Well, no, because then it would need to be damage she would take next time. Then if she dealt 10, she'd auto die, but, yeah. [01:54:28] Speaker C: You're trying to kill me. [01:54:31] Speaker D: I don't think it happened. [01:54:33] Speaker C: Can I say, as I go unconscious, she goes for the fun guys. [01:54:43] Speaker B: The white turns the glog and goes. Do you guys know who they are? [01:54:51] Speaker D: I think she made them up. I don't know what the heck she's talking about. [01:54:57] Speaker A: Maybe you should try and find them out on the road. I hear they got a good brush section. Anyway, I got to get back to hitting you now. [01:55:05] Speaker B: Sorry. [01:55:06] Speaker A: And, yeah, I'm going to swing with my big battle ax again. [01:55:12] Speaker B: You should have been playing with this a long time ago, dude. [01:55:17] Speaker A: Yeah, look, Glugs. Glugs got to hit him. And he rolls 20 to hit. [01:55:22] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. A N20. [01:55:24] Speaker A: No, no, no. On the 34. Okay. [01:55:27] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:55:28] Speaker A: And on damage, that will be a 12. 12 damage. [01:55:36] Speaker B: Great. Okay, next up in Initiative is Sam. Why don't you make a Death Save for me 13. Okay, that's 1 6. Yeah, it's great. Millard. It's Your turn. What are you doing, Millard? [01:55:56] Speaker D: Millard has no spell slots left, or else he would heal. Russ, he's gonna fire an arrow at. [01:56:04] Speaker B: The guy, and we should probably say equip this time. [01:56:07] Speaker D: Oh, no. Got a 12. [01:56:10] Speaker A: He didn't say the quip before he rolled Landon. I don't know. [01:56:14] Speaker B: We have got to start quipping, dude. We gotta start quipping. [01:56:17] Speaker D: I'm sorry. [01:56:18] Speaker B: Have you learned nothing from Glug? He quips. He hits. [01:56:24] Speaker D: I don't think I can do it. I don't think I can do anything else. [01:56:28] Speaker B: That's okay. The arrow. The arrow flies by the white and misses again. And Barrels looks at you and goes, it's okay for everyone, and you'll get the hang of it. [01:56:41] Speaker C: I hate arrows. [01:56:50] Speaker D: If he kills this thing, Zachary, I'm killing him. [01:56:54] Speaker B: Again. [01:56:56] Speaker D: If he kills this thing, I'm taking him out. [01:56:58] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [01:57:00] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Fine. Amazing. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, that's so funny. He. It does not look like he's gonna kill it, but he deals another huge blow to it. This time a raking sword slash across the back, and he goes. Yeah, this feels right. [01:57:33] Speaker A: Makes you train at this. You're a natural. [01:57:36] Speaker B: I think. I think I'm looking at this moment and all the wealth and success I've had in my life. I think it's a project of how excellent I am. It's the wife's turn. You were attacking recklessly, right? Glug. [01:57:52] Speaker A: That was the turn before the term before. [01:57:55] Speaker B: Hey. An important distinction. That's good, because I rolled bad on one of those two attacks. Take five points of slashing. Okay, Honestly, the whites are pretty cool. [01:58:10] Speaker D: Like, it's not going after the person who's down. It's just kind of hanging out. Like, it's. [01:58:15] Speaker B: I mean, you got to remember the. The attacking the down people, that's like a. Like an intelligent strategy creature. You know, the whites are. They're stupid. [01:58:25] Speaker A: Eye level. Come on. [01:58:27] Speaker B: Yeah. Okay, Next up initiative is. [01:58:36] Speaker A: Oh, it is me again. Yeah. [01:58:39] Speaker B: Smash. [01:58:41] Speaker D: Glug. [01:58:41] Speaker A: Smash in the smash. And that was kind of a bad quip. I only got an 11 to hit. [01:58:48] Speaker B: It's. It's. We have to have high quality. [01:58:52] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:58:55] Speaker B: Glug. Something funny happens. [01:58:57] Speaker D: Back to the top. [01:58:58] Speaker B: It's Sam. Why don't you give me a death save? Yep. [01:59:03] Speaker C: Oh, that's a seven. That's a failure. You sound like Pedro Pascal in that Saturday Night Live skit. [01:59:17] Speaker B: I've always been Pedro Pascal. Oh, my goodness, that is that voice. Yeah. [01:59:23] Speaker C: I live in la. [01:59:28] Speaker A: Guys. [01:59:28] Speaker B: It's all hot. Okay, so that's Sam. Millard, what are you doing? Millard. [01:59:34] Speaker D: Millard's gonna pull out another arrow. He's gonna be like, I'll tell you what. I'm going to shoot this thing, and I'm going to shoot it right this time, and it's going to go right into you. And you're going to go from Sigmund Dry fist to be Sigmund no fist. And he's going to. And he's going to let it go. [01:59:51] Speaker B: That's a quality quip. [01:59:53] Speaker D: He rolled a 25. No, no, no. [01:59:55] Speaker B: Yeah, 25. [01:59:57] Speaker A: There you go, mate. [01:59:59] Speaker D: 25. Let's go. [02:00:01] Speaker A: I give him a little fist bump. [02:00:02] Speaker D: There's a D8. [02:00:03] Speaker B: 8. [02:00:04] Speaker D: That is an 8 plus 3. [02:00:08] Speaker B: 2. [02:00:10] Speaker D: Proficiency 2. So that is 10 plus Hunter's Mark, which is a D6, which is a 3. 13 divided by 2 is 6. Did I need to do 7 to kill it? [02:00:31] Speaker B: Zachary, it has seven hit points. [02:00:35] Speaker D: That's okay. We keep rolling. [02:00:37] Speaker B: So now it's Barrow's turn. [02:00:40] Speaker C: I swear this man. [02:00:45] Speaker B: I'm gonna send you a picture of the paper. That's wild, Landon. So, Millard, as you say that awesome quip about no fist, and you launch the arrow, it flies in the neck and out the other side. And as. As the flesh collapses around it, the. The white just goes. And it turns out it looks confused at Barrows, as it looks at Barrows. Barrows goes, I'm gonna miss you, seaman, but really, this moment's about me. And he's gonna roll his attack disadvantage again. Visa of glug. [02:01:18] Speaker C: Holy crap. This is ridiculous. [02:01:25] Speaker A: A real Marley and Scrooge moment. [02:01:29] Speaker B: And I'm gonna ask myself, how do I want to do this? [02:01:33] Speaker C: Wait, can the three of us ask you3, Zachary? One, how do you want to do this? Do this? That was great, guys. [02:01:46] Speaker A: Great. [02:01:48] Speaker B: Barrow. Barrows turns and looks at Glug, and he goes, I'm so good. And he turns the sword sideways, and he goes. I can do it with the blond. And then. I don't know why, he's getting more flamboyant as the scene's going on, but he swings the sword around and bashes even Dreyfus with this flat edge of the sword, dealing exactly one damage, which is all it had left. And with that, the white is slain. Oh, my goodness. And they're all dead. And you guys are just standing there in the woods. [02:02:23] Speaker C: Oh, I'm not standing there. [02:02:24] Speaker B: And also an unconscious. We're out of initiative. But I need you to make me another death Saving throw. [02:02:36] Speaker D: Gosh, what if she dies? [02:02:38] Speaker C: That is the 12. [02:02:41] Speaker B: Okay, it's another success. What's everybody doing is Sam is bleeding out on the ground. [02:02:46] Speaker C: So what do I need, three successes or three failures? [02:02:50] Speaker D: Yeah, three successes. You have to roll again immediately after. [02:02:52] Speaker A: The thing falls on the ground. I, like, look through the tall grass in front of me. I. [02:02:56] Speaker D: What if I try to help Sam? [02:02:59] Speaker A: I pick up a rib and I drop it into Barrows free hand. There you go, mate. This should do it. [02:03:08] Speaker B: He picks it up and he goes, I don't know what it's doing, but it's doing it. [02:03:18] Speaker D: You're a fighter now. I think you can be considered an adventurer. And honestly, this place is so small bones to you, I think you should just start going out on your own crusade into the world. [02:03:29] Speaker B: Millard, give me a. Give me a persuasion check. [02:03:33] Speaker A: I say, you should do that after we mug him. I say that out loud. [02:03:39] Speaker D: I got a 17. [02:03:46] Speaker B: As you say that he. I don't know if I'm playing the right music because Sam might die here, but it's kind of funny. As you say what you say. [02:03:58] Speaker D: I'm. [02:03:58] Speaker B: Saying this to him. You look over, you're doing cpr and you're going, you. Yeah, you should be an adventurer. And he goes, he looks up at you, he looks at the dad, Sigmund. A tear rolls down his. Around his face. He nods. [02:04:12] Speaker D: Find the fun guys. And I think they'd let you join if you tell them the story. [02:04:17] Speaker C: If this guy shows up, he nods. [02:04:20] Speaker B: And he goes, I'm learning the right lessons from this. And, And Excellent. Why don't you roll kill? It's Thespis all over again. Yeah. Yeah. It's gonna be another death save Sam. [02:04:41] Speaker D: I can't do a medicine check to try and help stabilize her. [02:04:45] Speaker B: Actually, yes, I think you can. Yeah. Are you. You're. I don't think you need to be proficient. [02:04:51] Speaker D: I'm not proficient in it. [02:04:53] Speaker B: I think you can just try. [02:04:55] Speaker D: I got a four. [02:04:59] Speaker C: That's a two. So we had two saves, two failures. Y' all hold on. [02:05:05] Speaker B: I can't hold on. Sam, if you die here, you need to not die for nothing. Let it be for the sake of comedy. Millard, in what way do you attempt to stabilize her? That is so unhelpful that she fails at this. [02:05:20] Speaker D: I. I. Wait, why is it my fault? No, I didn't own that one. [02:05:27] Speaker B: This is a. Oh, yeah, yeah. For sure, for sure. How do you. How do you. When I rolled a 2, you rolled a 4. Then she rolled a 2. [02:05:37] Speaker D: I think. Ro, in the meta of Jackie playing just heard me suggest that Barrow should have a continuation in our campaign, which made the dice in real life roll poorly. [02:05:48] Speaker B: Millard, as you were checking the pulse in her. In her. In her wrist, going, I don't know what to do. You go, oh. And you realize your elbow was on her neck and you lift her up. [02:05:56] Speaker D: I reject this theory completely. [02:05:59] Speaker B: I love it. Next up in initial glug, are you doing anything? [02:06:05] Speaker A: Yeah, I'm gonna be like, look, you don't know what you're doing here, mate. Let me try and help. Roll a 14. [02:06:17] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. And with that one death save away from death. Sam is stabilized and. [02:06:24] Speaker C: Oh, I'm stable. [02:06:26] Speaker B: Yeah, the DC should probably be higher, but I don't. I don't care. This isn't important. [02:06:31] Speaker A: You're gonna have to wait on that 50 million. [02:06:38] Speaker B: Stephen. How are you not born with us sooner, dude? [02:06:41] Speaker C: Top tier. Top tier, Steven. [02:06:45] Speaker B: Thanks. That's some high quality Steven right there. All right. [02:06:50] Speaker D: What. [02:06:51] Speaker B: What does. The party waits there for, like an hour. Sam is re stape. Honestly, in regular Bailey D D fashion. She should need to stabilize overnight and all that stuff. But you guys, you guys go back to the town, you walk her back her. Her unconscious body, you put her up in the tavern, you get into the apothecary, and then. Oh, no, wait. Yeah, yeah, it's the next day, you go into the apothecary in the night and you get her some vital herbs. Someone, the guy who actually knows how to heal people gets called. He helps, and Sam is nursed vaguely back to health. And the next day, you guys are all waking up in the Apotha Tavern or whatever in Ebbit. And you are. [02:07:34] Speaker C: Is my hit point maximum still five? [02:07:37] Speaker D: No, no. [02:07:38] Speaker B: Okay, but you feel terrible the next day, and you all. All wake up in the. In the Apotha Tavern together. And Barrows is also there. He did not go back to his house. And. What's up? What's everybody doing? [02:07:58] Speaker D: You know, so you know so much about them fun guys. Do you know where they're at right now? You can send Barrows that way. [02:08:06] Speaker A: Where are they at? [02:08:10] Speaker C: Barrows is no fun guy. [02:08:14] Speaker B: No, no, I don't think I'm a fun guy at all. He sits up and he goes. I think really what I've learned is we make an amazing team. I might have started with the wrong, but I think a couple wrongs have made a right. You know what I'm saying? I mean, really, we gel, you know, we sort of jam. God. [02:08:34] Speaker A: I think you're right, mate. [02:08:35] Speaker C: We need go. [02:08:36] Speaker B: We know what I think benefits an. [02:08:38] Speaker A: Adventurer most going out on their loan on their own sim to go on adventures at the very beginning of their starting. [02:08:45] Speaker B: Exactly. [02:08:46] Speaker A: Is giving away all of their possessions again. Money. What's that? [02:08:52] Speaker B: We could be alone together. All four of us. [02:08:54] Speaker D: Exactly. I'm not. [02:08:56] Speaker C: I do not wish to be alone with you. [02:08:58] Speaker D: But here's the deal. Our mission is we gotta find my mom and we're gonna kill the devil. And though as long as we can do those two things and I'm. I'm okay if we want to do another little trip down somewhere. [02:09:10] Speaker B: I like this million. [02:09:11] Speaker A: I'll tell you this again. 50%. I'm down with the killing the devil thing. If we can find your mom along the way. [02:09:16] Speaker B: All right. All right. [02:09:17] Speaker D: So I killed the devil and saved my mom. [02:09:20] Speaker B: All right. You know, if we're all like an adventuring party together now, we could just stay in my house whenever we need to be in town. It's nice. And I can help fund things a little bit. Not much. I'm really not that rich. But you know. [02:09:36] Speaker A: Okay. [02:09:37] Speaker D: Sounds good to me. [02:09:37] Speaker A: I think first you better change your clothes, mate. [02:09:40] Speaker B: Probably. Probably better than the fun guys. That seemed a bit. Hanging? Haphazard. What should our name be? [02:09:45] Speaker D: I didn't like. [02:09:45] Speaker C: There is nothing better than fun guys. [02:09:48] Speaker B: Right? Right. Do you guys. He leans in and he goes. Do you guys think we have to keep her. What's the rule? [02:09:55] Speaker C: This was all my idea. [02:09:57] Speaker B: Freak. [02:09:58] Speaker A: Oh man. [02:09:58] Speaker B: You. [02:09:59] Speaker D: You call ourselves the White Slayers. [02:10:03] Speaker A: Oh. [02:10:10] Speaker D: Not actually Know what. Now. Now that I've said it out loud, it doesn't sound. [02:10:13] Speaker A: What do you mean? [02:10:14] Speaker D: I don't. [02:10:14] Speaker A: I can't think of any connotations to that one. [02:10:29] Speaker B: You're really waiting on that one, Landon. [02:10:31] Speaker D: I. I just thought of it. I don't know. [02:10:32] Speaker B: Well, it. It should have it. Any problems with that will be the. And that's where the one shot ends. Is right there. Yay. [02:10:51] Speaker A: Steven. [02:10:51] Speaker B: I have no idea how we weren't playing with you before. Holy crap. You should have always been Cockney accent. [02:10:58] Speaker A: The cockney accent does well. It's like the one accent I can do without. Like falling out of it super easily. [02:11:04] Speaker B: That was great. Phenomenal. Wow. Oh, that was excellent finisher. Landon. Life's an incredible adventure. You're an important part of it. That story had absolutely nothing to do with that deep truth about life. But it's still true. It's still an important part of it. And life is an incredible adventure. Steven, I'm not trying to pressure you, but we got to have you back sometime for some fun, figure something out. I think we. I think we need more adventures from the party who's yet to be named in the future. [02:11:40] Speaker C: I would love for them to be. [02:11:41] Speaker A: Back from the copyright office. And they were like, no, we're not doing that. [02:11:45] Speaker B: And that was really the only issue with that. So we'll come back to that some point in the future. Thank you for listening, listeners. Stephen, thank you for playing. That was super fun making a character. Now I. Now I desperately need Glug to meet Bulg because those two guys in a. [02:12:04] Speaker A: Pod, the exact same name. [02:12:08] Speaker B: So close. Well, and their hearts are just. They're. They're cut from the same cloth. But anywho, life's incredible. Yeah, I already said all that. Thank you for listening. Have a wonderful day or evening or morning. Skibidi, Wap and Dada. Bye.