125. Bone to Pick

[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign. [00:00:06] Speaker B: D and D. This is your. [00:00:08] Speaker A: Sword of Dungeons and Dragons podcast. This is Zack Omnidium, and we are ready to play another episode of Accidental Adventures. Clearly, I'm a little tired because I keep reverting to voices when I don't know what to say. But we are back. The entire party is level 12. Why doesn't everyone go ahead and read off how many hit points they have now? Ooh. Or not. [00:00:42] Speaker C: 105. [00:00:47] Speaker D: I have 81. But I might take a feat that makes me have more. So we're seeing. I haven't decided what possibly how many does. Oh, Tello. 70. [00:01:01] Speaker A: Okay. [00:01:05] Speaker E: What? Ro has 97 hit points, and I don't know what if I'm taking a feat or if I'm taking an ability score yet, but she's got 97 hit points. She's pretty buff Barred. [00:01:20] Speaker A: That's right, she is. And Craig, I'm sorry, you were saying? [00:01:22] Speaker F: Yours, Craig, is 133. And the mod 112 looks good. [00:01:32] Speaker A: You guys realize that everybody other than Tell will be above 100 by 13th level? Probably. Also, the party has 486 hit points. [00:01:42] Speaker F: Oh, wow. [00:01:47] Speaker A: Anyway, level 12 party. Guys, this is crazy. [00:01:50] Speaker E: If the party has. How many? [00:01:53] Speaker B: Four. [00:01:53] Speaker A: Sorry, Micah. Oh. [00:01:55] Speaker F: If Dolgoth has a brother, we're. We're taking him down. No worries. [00:02:00] Speaker A: You guys are of A level right now. If just the fun guys went back and fought Dolgoth and his lieutenants, you'd probably win. Probably. [00:02:10] Speaker D: We still need to kill Lashla. [00:02:12] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:02:15] Speaker C: That'S a funny. [00:02:16] Speaker E: Why do you keep saying good luck? [00:02:18] Speaker C: Because I'm gonna go kill me score before I do that. [00:02:21] Speaker A: Remember you guys agreed. I think it was the end of the year or something. I remember. [00:02:25] Speaker E: Yeah, I rose birthday is what I'm wearing real small. [00:02:30] Speaker C: Wait, how many the end of the year? [00:02:32] Speaker E: Yeah, we're at Cal or Calan. [00:02:34] Speaker A: You're at Calilan. You have. [00:02:38] Speaker E: So what comes after Kalilan Girl, don't. [00:02:41] Speaker A: Expose me like that. [00:02:42] Speaker C: Who do. [00:02:42] Speaker A: Who do we promise that a shady rogue lady ex princess of the Aslanian empire who offered you 20,000 gold to do it in the sewers with the brass company. [00:02:56] Speaker D: Hey, gm. [00:02:57] Speaker A: Yeah, what's up? [00:02:58] Speaker D: Sorry, I can ask you this later. I'll ask you. [00:03:01] Speaker A: Okay. Letter question. If your character had to give advice to Micah headed into her 20s, what would they say? Also, who do you want the DMNPC to be? Mickle, you can choose. Oh. [00:03:25] Speaker F: Oh. I don't know her name, but the tortoise was super wise and yeah. Yeah. [00:03:34] Speaker D: Everyone loves. [00:03:36] Speaker A: She seems so wise Campaign one should have had more Tesha. Okay, let's start with Ro. What advice would Ro give? [00:03:46] Speaker E: I don't know. [00:03:47] Speaker A: Okay, let's start with Boz. What advice would Boss give to 20 year old Micah? [00:03:57] Speaker C: If someone asks you to travel the world, say, no, stay home. Someone else will do it. It'll be fine. It's actually not that bad if you think about it. It's pretty good. [00:04:16] Speaker A: Okay. [00:04:16] Speaker C: There. [00:04:17] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:04:18] Speaker A: So boss advice is don't travel the world, but actually it's pretty cool. [00:04:22] Speaker C: No, no. Home is pretty good. Home's pretty good. [00:04:25] Speaker A: Home. Home. Gotcha. [00:04:26] Speaker C: Home. [00:04:27] Speaker B: Excellent. [00:04:28] Speaker A: Amazing advice. Ro. What would Ro say to. That's so funny. Land. [00:04:37] Speaker F: And protect your bees at all cost. [00:04:40] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:04:41] Speaker A: Stay. Protect your. [00:04:43] Speaker C: Traveling the world. [00:04:51] Speaker E: She Ro would tell Micah to always sing loud, always carry a dagger in your boot and eat as many sweets as possible. [00:05:11] Speaker A: Oh. [00:05:13] Speaker F: Salad. I like it. I will. I will eat more sweets. Thank you. If I have more acne, it's your fault, Rita. [00:05:23] Speaker D: Okay. Reba would tell 20 year old Micah to not 19 year old, 20 year old. You got to store it away until Sunday. She would tell her to forgive yourself in case you make a mistake. Well, when you make a mistake and okay. If it takes while for you to get where you want to be and you don't have to know where you want to be, it is okay. If it takes a while for you to feel happy and at peace, that is a long journey and it is worth it. It's okay if it's a long. [00:06:01] Speaker F: I like it. [00:06:02] Speaker A: I think. I think Tesha would tell Mic. There are a lot of things you can grow in a garden, but all of the things, many of the things most worth growing take a very, very long time. Other people need to help. You're not in control of the process, and you can't control what they grow into. But the things that grow, deeper roots, richer fruits, they take time. They have to go through a lot of seasons. They're going to produce a lot of different kinds of fruit. It will take a very long time before that plant is what you might have hoped it to be. And that process is worth it. [00:06:51] Speaker D: I love you, Micah. I'm getting all teary. [00:06:54] Speaker F: Me too, bro. [00:06:56] Speaker A: We still have to hear. What Craig's advice. [00:07:00] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. [00:07:03] Speaker F: Oh. [00:07:07] Speaker A: Micah, the emotional sincerity with which you play Craig is so great. [00:07:15] Speaker F: Why am I getting emotional at that idea? My gosh. [00:07:20] Speaker A: Because you're very connected to your character and it's beautiful. [00:07:24] Speaker D: It is beautiful. [00:07:25] Speaker A: You would have felt this way About Craig, the middle aged, almost divorcee. But, you know. [00:07:33] Speaker F: Don'T be insecure about ignorant curiosity. [00:07:37] Speaker A: Oh, oh, good advice from Craig. That's so Craig. Yeah, man. [00:07:44] Speaker F: It'll get you somewhere. It'll get you to maturity. [00:07:48] Speaker A: Keep asking questions that should be on a shirt. Don't be. Don't be insecure about ignorant curiosity. It'll get you to maturity. That's awesome. Dang, Mickel, you really are turning 20. [00:08:00] Speaker F: That one ate me up. [00:08:03] Speaker A: Well, without further ado, listeners. They don't love you like I love you. Zach beat somebody doing trend. Okay, only because I'm a teacher. One of my students got me to do a tik tok dancing to that. [00:08:19] Speaker F: But confusing and strange. [00:08:23] Speaker D: He was an intern at the time, but he just came up to me and was like, wait, they don't. And he's so quiet. And that was like the first time he'd ever made a joke. And I was like, what is happening? Because I didn't know. [00:08:32] Speaker A: Wow, you really went straight to 10. [00:08:34] Speaker D: I wasn't really familiar with the trend, so he just went, wait. [00:08:41] Speaker A: That was a weird thing to do with a new person. So no taking birds. This is. This is episode 125. [00:08:53] Speaker E: Wow. [00:08:53] Speaker A: The accidental Adventures. Bone to pick. [00:08:57] Speaker D: Oh. [00:09:00] Speaker A: It is a level 12 adventure. [00:09:06] Speaker B: Guys. [00:09:06] Speaker A: You're getting way up there. Investment of years. The date is 3488. P.B. colelan. 18. [00:09:16] Speaker D: That's not true. We started it. We started Kalilan. And it was 18 last time. And then we slept. [00:09:24] Speaker E: No, we started at seven. [00:09:26] Speaker A: Then we slept. But I liked the confidence with which you made that assertion. [00:09:30] Speaker D: I just made a couple. [00:09:33] Speaker A: You all. Is everybody okay with a little time jump? [00:09:38] Speaker C: Yeah, sure. [00:09:39] Speaker A: Or does everyone really want to dig through the. Who was that? What was that? What was that? [00:09:43] Speaker D: Can I do a history check on him? One history check. [00:09:47] Speaker A: I should have known better. Okay, so can I do a rumors check? [00:09:52] Speaker C: Hands up. Pause. What is the name of the episode? One more time. [00:09:56] Speaker A: Episode 125, Bone to Pick. All right, I know you're never gonna believe this, but I want those dice to stay in the tray, actually. Okay, so fun, guys. You are at the now just. [00:10:18] Speaker E: Just. [00:10:19] Speaker A: Battle ravaged cliff on the ridge of Kirfton onto Lomuloth a day and a half into travel. Some of you are fine. Some of you are pretty beat up. You just had one of the most confusing experiences of your life. It was really over pretty quickly. Whoever that guy was, he's gone. The storm is dissipating and the day is lovely. [00:10:44] Speaker D: Can I do a history Check on the Big Mic. [00:10:46] Speaker A: Yeah, why don't you. [00:10:47] Speaker E: Can I do a rumors check on the big mic? [00:10:50] Speaker F: She's 20. She's 20 years old. Her favorite color is yellow, and she wishes she could give yugs. [00:11:00] Speaker E: Can I do a rumors check on the Big Mike? [00:11:03] Speaker A: Yeah. Yes. [00:11:05] Speaker F: She's really nice. She's really big into religion, and she likes her friends. [00:11:15] Speaker A: Greta, you have never heard of the big Mike? [00:11:17] Speaker D: What? [00:11:18] Speaker A: Ro, what'd you get? [00:11:20] Speaker E: I got a 21. [00:11:23] Speaker A: You are not familiar with the Big Mic. [00:11:25] Speaker E: Dang it. [00:11:27] Speaker A: But as you guys kind of ask yourselves the question, a voice comes by on the breeze and goes, the Big Mike. [00:11:34] Speaker D: Can I do an insight check to see if I think that the Big Mike is still alive? [00:11:43] Speaker A: Okay, so insight is a feature which relates to social interactions. [00:11:50] Speaker D: Can I do a. [00:11:52] Speaker F: Well, then this will answer her question. [00:11:54] Speaker D: That doesn't make any sense to me. Insight. Like, I'm very insightful. [00:12:00] Speaker A: Yeah, insight is under wisdom. It's like your ability to either. Either it's based in social interactions and the things people do, or it has nothing to do with that. And from now on, it's not used in that circumstance, which is the time investigation. You can make a divination check if you can just suddenly divinate things. [00:12:20] Speaker F: Guys, I don't think he's. [00:12:22] Speaker E: There's not a check. [00:12:23] Speaker D: Okay, so dm, help me out here. What would the check be for? [00:12:26] Speaker A: Like, for knowing whether or not a thing is just true in reality? [00:12:32] Speaker D: No, like, so insight is like a social thing, but insight as a word, I'm genuinely curious. I'm like, we can forget about the check. Help me figure, like, what would a check. [00:12:44] Speaker A: I think. I think an excellent analogy here is that in dnd, athletics means an activity which involves strenuous physical activity in the world. It also means that. Or it specifically means a sport mandated in a section of your school schedule. If someone was looking at a school schedule and they said, well, okay, if athletics here doesn't mean the period that you go to gym, what does it even mean? The other thing? It means that other thing. It means. So the context infers the definition of the word in the circumstance. Insight, D and D is your ability to insight certain circumstances. It could also be compared to the fact that you're like, okay, but to insight literally means to understand. Well, right? But if you're trying to insight what the contents of a room mean about what could be there, that's an investigation check. So the two would have to confer with each other. If we take the literal definition of insight it literally means to just understand. And that means you would roll a D20 to just understand anything about the reality in the universe, which is not what that does. That's incredibly powerful. Divination, magic. [00:13:48] Speaker D: My insight. I understand that. [00:13:51] Speaker A: Mm. [00:13:51] Speaker D: What would be a check, then? To, like. Is there not a check to, like, think about something? Is that just not a thing? [00:13:59] Speaker A: You can certainly think about it. You. You want to make a check to think about the Big Mike? No, no, because I think. I think perhaps, and I don't mean this in a way to, like, point you. I think perhaps there's a thing you want to say, but you're trying not to say it because in your head, you're like, well, that doesn't sound good. [00:14:17] Speaker D: Like, we don't have to, like, duke this out now. But I. I think this is the second time that I'm like, can I insight that? And you're like, that's a social thing. [00:14:26] Speaker A: So, like, the check to just know whether or not he still exists is a check. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, then what are you asking for? [00:14:36] Speaker D: I was. I was just trying to figure out what a check would be to, like. I don't know. I'm gonna think about it. [00:14:49] Speaker A: If you do, let me know. [00:14:52] Speaker D: There's not a category. It's okay. [00:14:55] Speaker A: There might not be. Dnd. I mean, the reason I made the custom skills a while back is because I found that D and D was really lacking and some things that came up all the time. Thank you for. [00:15:04] Speaker D: I understand. [00:15:05] Speaker F: Thank you, girl. [00:15:06] Speaker A: Of course. Anybody else doing anything? [00:15:09] Speaker D: I'm thinking. Greta's thinking really hard. [00:15:12] Speaker A: Greta's sitting there just staring, thinking. [00:15:16] Speaker E: Ro is going, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it, Zach. I'm gonna do it. I don't. I know there's gonna be consequences. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Okay. I love consequences. When will you learn that your actions have consequences? Do you think Jackie knows that she's muted? I don't think she does. She spoke with so much attitude and energy. [00:15:39] Speaker E: Oh, my gosh. How did you know what I was saying then? [00:15:43] Speaker A: Because we. I didn't, but we've been friends for. [00:15:47] Speaker D: A very long time, and then you were muted for some reason. [00:15:53] Speaker E: Weird. [00:15:54] Speaker A: I think we just really. I think we just know each other really well. [00:15:57] Speaker E: I was like, I'm gonna do something despite the consequences. And you all still. Oh, really? Okay. [00:16:03] Speaker A: You. I mean, you understand that if we take the most conservative. The most conservative possible estimate of the number of episodes we have, we ignore all the one shots and all the other times we've Hung out. That means We've spent 250 hours together, but we all know good and well it's closer to 3 or 400, so just understand each other. Well, we've spent hundreds of hours together. [00:16:23] Speaker E: Okay, but anywho. [00:16:25] Speaker A: What are you doing? What are you catching? [00:16:27] Speaker E: I'm gonna cat. I said I'm going to cast the crap out of Prestidigitation, and I mean that in the sense. [00:16:39] Speaker A: And whistle and pluck at your. At your loot. You feel all of the grime and dirt lifting off of you, and you are once again clean. [00:16:52] Speaker E: Thank God that I'm cleaning. I rolled a 19. [00:16:58] Speaker A: A 19. Okay, I'm scared. I'm on it. Okay. [00:17:05] Speaker E: Oh, no. [00:17:06] Speaker A: I'm very scared. Roll 2D10 for me. [00:17:09] Speaker E: Roll 2D10. [00:17:11] Speaker A: That's wild, man. I'm kind of excited for one more past wild magic, but there's also so many things on the table we haven't gotten yet. Yeah, you want me to add them together? [00:17:22] Speaker E: I got a three and a seven. [00:17:23] Speaker A: So 10 for the next 10 hours, you can cast Fireball up to the fifth level. [00:17:33] Speaker E: Okay. Micah's face does it. I don't know how this is gonna come up, but does it require us? Do I use a spell slot when I do that? [00:17:43] Speaker A: For the next. Yes, yes. But if you were a caster who didn't have fifth level spells, you could still do this, so. [00:17:57] Speaker E: Heck yeah. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Yeah, you can cast Fireball up to the fifth level, which I guess means that even if all of your fifth level spells are expended, you could still use other spell slots to cast it up, because that's what the thing says, so it's incredibly powerful. Okay. [00:18:17] Speaker E: So cool. [00:18:18] Speaker A: There you guys are. [00:18:19] Speaker E: That's exciting. [00:18:21] Speaker A: The big mic has been banished. [00:18:22] Speaker E: Doubt I'll use it, but exciting. [00:18:25] Speaker D: I can't. I want the time skip. I just wanted to do a mic. [00:18:29] Speaker E: Yeah, we can do a time skip. [00:18:30] Speaker A: Phenomenal. And so the party, like, probably rests, right? Chills out, covers. Or do you guys just forge forward? How do you guys handle it? [00:18:40] Speaker E: I rest. I would do a rest, I feel, if it was up to me. Yeah, you know what? [00:18:51] Speaker F: No, no, me. No, no, me. [00:18:55] Speaker A: We haven't done this one in forever. And also remember, I don't know why this track is louder than others, but remember, you can always control the volume for yourself. So the party takes a couple hours, gathers themselves, travels on. You have your eye out for any bizarre, life threatening nonsense that might suddenly occur here. [00:19:16] Speaker E: Did we do a. I'm so sorry, did we do a Short rest or long rest? [00:19:22] Speaker A: Well, you can reach a long rest here. So long rest everybody. Long rest. Reset all them spell slots, get all them hip points. But the party travels onward, reaches a place, sleeps, travels onward. It's just pretty peaceful for the next day or so in the next. However long it takes to travel. Is anyone doing anything in particular or is it just. No, we're just going forward. [00:19:50] Speaker D: I'm doing celestial and uncidian. [00:19:52] Speaker E: Yeah, I'll do celestial with Greta. [00:19:56] Speaker A: Why don't you guys roll me 3D4 for your Celestial? Just cuz travel practice is harder than sitting practice. So. [00:20:07] Speaker D: 3D4. [00:20:08] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:09] Speaker D: I'm getting really. [00:20:10] Speaker A: Somebody's got to be holding a book and that's tough. [00:20:19] Speaker D: I got a. Oh, I got eight. [00:20:25] Speaker A: So we'll take annoying nine hours of insinium over the next two days, group walks and travels. No idea what that Big Mike guy was about. Everything else here seems pretty chill. [00:20:40] Speaker E: Why do you guys think he was blue? [00:20:45] Speaker F: I think he bathed in blueberries. [00:20:49] Speaker E: Why do you think he was like. He didn't. [00:20:51] Speaker B: What's wrong with his blood? [00:20:53] Speaker E: He didn't look like. He didn't look like any race I've. I think I've ever seen in the way. [00:21:03] Speaker F: Big Mike. [00:21:04] Speaker A: Why did he call me the Big Mike? Like not of Craig, but someone like representative of Craig or something? [00:21:13] Speaker E: I don't know. [00:21:14] Speaker C: Sometimes something can mean nothing. Just something. [00:21:17] Speaker F: I don't even think that much of myself. [00:21:19] Speaker C: Especially here, especially the island of chaos, you know? [00:21:23] Speaker A: Like that's a really good point about. [00:21:24] Speaker C: This is the place where most things. Nothing that we can even understand. [00:21:30] Speaker E: Do you think he lived here? Like, do you think he lived on this island? [00:21:39] Speaker A: I don't know. This little. [00:21:41] Speaker C: Take a long look around the island and then he looks back at Row like. And then he laughs like he, like he like genuinely thought it was a joke. [00:21:53] Speaker A: This little card that fell out of one of his cloaks that just said Texas Roadhouse. So I don't know where that is. [00:21:59] Speaker D: Hello. He had a cloth, a small cloth, a loin cloth. [00:22:03] Speaker A: That's true. Abby, did you have a thing? [00:22:06] Speaker D: Yes. Do I know what a legendary action is? [00:22:12] Speaker A: Do you know what the mechanic a legendary action is? [00:22:17] Speaker E: Does Greta know? [00:22:21] Speaker D: Yes. [00:22:21] Speaker A: No, you don't. You don't know what a legendary action is. Nor do you know what hit points or armor class. A big mic action economy is. [00:22:31] Speaker D: Okay, I was thinking. I was trying to think if I knew, like, oh, well, this threshold of. [00:22:37] Speaker A: Power tool certainly struck you as a very powerful creature, as a certain powerful being. But you do not know what a skull slot is. You do not know what harmoniclass. You don't know what levels are. Okay, yeah, those are. That's information the players know. [00:22:55] Speaker D: I don't know. [00:22:58] Speaker A: Nope. Nope. [00:23:00] Speaker D: I think he's still alive, guys. I say that I think that he's still alive. I think that something that can do stuff that powerful doesn't die. I think that the Big Mike is still out there. [00:23:09] Speaker E: Maybe he went to another, like, plane. [00:23:12] Speaker D: Yeah, maybe we banished him. [00:23:14] Speaker E: Yeah. To, like, another world. [00:23:16] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:23:17] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:23:18] Speaker F: It's called Hell. [00:23:22] Speaker A: Wow. That's crazy. In this particular universe, we don't know what that is. That's nuts. [00:23:27] Speaker C: I want to tap. I want to. I want to. [00:23:30] Speaker E: Like Hell Czar, kind of right now is like, world. [00:23:34] Speaker A: You don't. [00:23:35] Speaker E: Oh. [00:23:36] Speaker C: I think boss is going to close his eyes and not pray, but he's going to try to tap into what the Mad Prince is feeling right now to see if he's just belly laughing. [00:23:46] Speaker A: Okay. What a wild check. Why don't you give me a wisdom check? Because that's your ability casting modifier. I mean, you're not really his subass anymore, but there's a connection. No, give me. Give me an inside check. Give me an insight check. [00:24:00] Speaker C: Check. [00:24:00] Speaker A: Because that's about your social interactions. It's so. Don't give me the face. It makes sense. It's about the behaviors in person. [00:24:07] Speaker C: This is hilarious, Zachary. I love making ins because this is. [00:24:13] Speaker A: About reading someone's behavior, and the other one was about a thing is true in the universe. They're not the same. [00:24:20] Speaker C: I rolled a 27. [00:24:24] Speaker A: Holy crap. [00:24:26] Speaker E: Loud. [00:24:32] Speaker A: Yeah, he probably thought that was funny. You probably had his whole attention there for a bit. Yeah. Ah, it's just relaxing travel. It's not a big deal. [00:24:48] Speaker F: And they're playing tag with Tello. I tap him on the shoulder, I go tag. You're it. And then I run away ahead of him. [00:25:01] Speaker A: He goes, oh, my goodness. Craig, he, like, kind of jogs up to you and he goes, craig, no tag backs. Craig, come on. Come here. Hold on, hold on, hold on a moment. Seriously? [00:25:15] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:25:16] Speaker A: Okay. He gets over here and he goes, what are you doing? We just fought that guy. And more importantly. And he just slaps your forehead. You're never gonna get me. And then he sprints away. And could I get opposed? You can roll either an athletics check or a dexterity saving throw. And Abby, would you roll a dexterity saving throw for Tello? [00:25:42] Speaker D: Uh. Oh. Oh, I can't do any more math. I guess I will do it. 1822. [00:25:54] Speaker A: Okay. She can't do Craig. You go to run into. Oh, man. [00:25:59] Speaker E: It. [00:26:00] Speaker A: The thing is, Craig, the really insulting, frustrating thing is that, like, your initial sprint is faster too. You're doing this in full plate, but his legs are just so much longer. He's, like, literally double your height almost, so you just can't. And, like, your max speed gets up to him all the time. Once you get charging, you get going, but he just keeps, like, jerking on a dime, and he just, like, dodging. Yeah, and he, like, he keeps. He keeps just, like, sidestepping you really quickly. And the man's just juking you. [00:26:33] Speaker F: He gives up and tags Greta. [00:26:35] Speaker B: Okay. [00:26:38] Speaker D: Greta gives a horrible wail that you have heard none the like of. And then she charges towards. She charges. Then she charges towards Boss. [00:26:54] Speaker A: Opposed athletics or dexterity? Saving throws. This is so fun. [00:26:59] Speaker C: Boss is playing said. What am I rolling? Zachary has a nat. 20 plus 5 is a 25. That is a saving throw. It actually triggers my new feature because it. Saving throws. I'm gonna roll D4. Boss teleports. [00:27:32] Speaker F: No way. [00:27:33] Speaker C: All of a sudden, Boz just appears because it's. It's just as far as you can see. So he just plop far, far away ahead of where everybody is just gone. [00:27:46] Speaker A: There's just a flourish, golden rainbow magic, and he just disappears further away. No. [00:27:54] Speaker C: No. [00:27:55] Speaker A: And what's worse. What's so much worse is that as you go to try to run him down, even before you get to him, you're just like, oh, okay, you're. You're in really good shape. You're in really good shape, but you're just really sad. You're also older. You're real older, and you're feeling it. And all these young kids that run so fast. [00:28:13] Speaker E: Okay. [00:28:16] Speaker F: Bro, go make her feel better. [00:28:18] Speaker D: I, I, I, I, I sit down, and I'm like, Craig. Greg. [00:28:28] Speaker F: Walks up to her. I have an idea. [00:28:34] Speaker B: And then. [00:28:34] Speaker A: Okay, no, no, no, no. Okay. [00:28:38] Speaker F: He, like, tosses you. No, he's gonna put you on his shoulder so you lock so we can work together. [00:28:43] Speaker A: Certainly start trying to do that. You go to pick her up, and then she grabs your ankles. [00:28:48] Speaker F: Oh, my gosh. [00:28:49] Speaker E: Tag. [00:28:50] Speaker F: You're in no tag bags. [00:28:51] Speaker D: And then I get up, and I. I just think, run. [00:28:58] Speaker A: Greta. Greta kind of jogs away. [00:29:00] Speaker D: Yeah. Speed walk. [00:29:02] Speaker A: See? [00:29:02] Speaker D: Grandma speed walks. [00:29:04] Speaker A: Grandma speed walk, bro. [00:29:08] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:29:09] Speaker A: All of this is going on. [00:29:10] Speaker E: Mm. [00:29:12] Speaker A: And there is a. Everyone here has become perceptive people, but your eye is always keen and darting. And as your undiagnosed add Watches your friends play tag and you're having a good time. You also notice, okay, a little flying building. [00:29:37] Speaker E: Flying building just coming toward you. [00:29:40] Speaker A: Just don't know how you didn't see it together. Maybe it was moving over like a tree bank or something before. But yeah, floating yalls way down the mountain ridge. You guys are slowly walking, spiling around is just like. It's like. It's maybe like three or 400ft away from you guys. And it's like a single story. Little kind of standalone, like kind of how far up? And it's just slowly floating toward you. [00:30:12] Speaker E: Guys, guys, guys, guys. Stop playing. [00:30:16] Speaker F: Pretends. Wait. Craig pretends to not see it and then tries to walk towards Ro and he's like walking towards row to try and see it. And then he tags her and so then tags back row and then he's like, oh, wait, shoot, that's bad. [00:30:31] Speaker E: Ro does not do anything. She just kind of. She tries really hard not to roll her eyes because I want to keep. [00:30:39] Speaker A: Track of who's it. The rest of this campaign. [00:30:40] Speaker E: But anyway, there is. There is a house. It's right there. There's a house. [00:30:47] Speaker D: How far away did Boz teleport to? [00:30:50] Speaker C: As far as I could see. [00:30:52] Speaker F: He's in the house now. [00:30:54] Speaker E: He's in the house. [00:30:57] Speaker B: Boz. [00:30:57] Speaker A: The ability lets you teleport as far as you can see. [00:31:00] Speaker C: I'm gonna read it as I see. As I read what? [00:31:04] Speaker A: When. [00:31:05] Speaker C: When you move, you could use all of your walking speed. Teleport you once, along with any equipment you're wearing, carrying up to the disc, up to the distance. Used an occupied space that you can. [00:31:14] Speaker A: See into a space you can see. It's your movement speed. [00:31:20] Speaker E: What is this? [00:31:21] Speaker A: Teleporting in a mount additionally equal to your movement speed, not anywhere you can see. [00:31:26] Speaker C: All right, So I was like, you. [00:31:27] Speaker A: Got that from a feet. Okay, he's 40ft out of me. Oh, where did it come from? [00:31:37] Speaker E: Yeah, where did that come from? [00:31:38] Speaker C: Planescape. [00:31:40] Speaker D: Oh, I don't know what that is. [00:31:45] Speaker E: Okay, is there lights on in the building? Does there look like a little old lady sitting on the porch? Like what's going on is gonna be out of 14. I got a 24. [00:32:05] Speaker F: Okay. [00:32:06] Speaker E: Sorry. [00:32:07] Speaker F: I guess. [00:32:08] Speaker E: Sorry, Craig. [00:32:12] Speaker A: Kind of like a. It's got like some white on it. It's very pale building. And it's got kind of like a. Like a reddish roof. It's not big. It's maybe like. It's maybe. [00:32:27] Speaker F: Does it look occupied? [00:32:27] Speaker A: 30Ft wide. That's pretty far to tell Ro yeah. You peer your keen eyes, and you can see that it's like a. It's like a. Like a. It looks from the front like a symmetrical building. Like, it's got some pillars that look like they repeat some walls. You think you could see some little windows. They look like there are some kind of double doors on the front. You feel like you can almost see, like, a little stairway on the front of it. There's, like a little rail going around, and there's a little red roof with sections going around, and it just looks like shuttered windows and doors and a roof, and it's just floating toward you. [00:33:03] Speaker E: Guys, but no light is on. What time of day is it? [00:33:05] Speaker A: You're not seeing any. It's like mid afternoon, because that's easy. [00:33:08] Speaker E: Okay. Yeah, I. Do you say it's 40ft away from us now or 40ft up? It's 40ft. [00:33:22] Speaker A: It was 40ft up, 400ft away. Now it's like. Okay, 300ft away. [00:33:30] Speaker E: Was it? What? [00:33:33] Speaker A: Yeah, go ahead, Micah. [00:33:35] Speaker F: Okay. So as Craig is staring off in the distance, he. There's this look that falls over his eyes like a vacant. Like a good doll. Like a robot turned off. You know, it's almost as if the person that was controlling him stops controlling him, and it becomes an npc as I, the Big Mike, extend my visit to my bed. [00:34:00] Speaker A: Oh, Micah, super fun having. Happy birthday. Way to become level 12. Good night. [00:34:06] Speaker F: Love you guys. Happy birthday. [00:34:08] Speaker E: Love you, Micah. [00:34:10] Speaker D: We love you. [00:34:11] Speaker F: Good night. [00:34:12] Speaker D: Good night. [00:34:13] Speaker E: Good night. [00:34:16] Speaker A: On that note, Baldi constitution saving throw, bro. [00:34:24] Speaker E: I don't even think I need to make the concept. I think. I think I lost it from the. From the burn. That was that statement. [00:34:35] Speaker A: You made me feel bad. Did I actually hurt your feelings? I didn't. [00:34:38] Speaker E: Right? [00:34:39] Speaker A: Okay. [00:34:40] Speaker D: That was a I love. [00:34:45] Speaker A: Baldy concave. [00:34:46] Speaker E: Yeah. What did I do? [00:34:52] Speaker A: Press vegetation? [00:34:54] Speaker E: That's. That's an 11. [00:35:02] Speaker A: You guys are all staring at the house. And, Rose, you squint really hard. Oh, dang it. [00:35:08] Speaker D: What the heck? [00:35:10] Speaker A: But the house is. [00:35:11] Speaker E: I have fart for another two days. [00:35:15] Speaker A: This is your last day. [00:35:16] Speaker E: Oh, it is? [00:35:18] Speaker A: Yeah. And if you want, you can fight me on that, but you don't have to. [00:35:21] Speaker E: No, I will take it. [00:35:26] Speaker D: Okay. [00:35:26] Speaker A: The building's just floating your way. In fact, it seems like it's kind of lowering in elevation slightly. Like it's floating to you all floating towards us. [00:35:38] Speaker C: We should go inside. [00:35:40] Speaker D: Yeah. Okay. [00:35:41] Speaker C: But we should knock first. [00:35:43] Speaker A: Well, it's not on the ground. [00:35:47] Speaker D: It's not on the ground yet. Silly goose. [00:35:49] Speaker C: All Right. How high is it again, Zach? [00:35:51] Speaker D: 40Ft, but it's low. But it's lowering. [00:35:55] Speaker A: Yeah, it's like. It's like 35ft in the air now. 200ft away. [00:35:58] Speaker D: It's like 35ft in THE air. [00:36:00] Speaker C: All right, we're doing it somewhere. [00:36:04] Speaker E: I would like. I'm going to take a chance, which is a stupid chance, but I'm going to take a chance. I like. I would like to dimension door onto the porch of the house. [00:36:17] Speaker A: Thrilling. Phenomenal. Wonderful. What does that look like? [00:36:23] Speaker E: Ro is going to. She's attuned to both, so she's going to. She has song splinter right now, and she's just going to go, like, at. And a door's gonna open. I'm not. I'm not mentally able to be creative. [00:36:42] Speaker A: Step through. [00:36:43] Speaker E: And then it's a gold door. Now the rim. The rim is gold now with purple glowy around it. [00:36:50] Speaker A: That's awesome. As Ro summons the door and just steps through in a moment reminiscent of other bad moments that have happened in yalls time with Ro. [00:37:00] Speaker E: Don't say that to me. [00:37:01] Speaker A: Like, vilx layer and stuff. I'm sorry, Abby, did you just pull out a plastic container of turkey? Yoinka slice and eat that raw. [00:37:10] Speaker E: Don't worry. [00:37:10] Speaker D: Don't worry. [00:37:11] Speaker A: That's what you've been eating this whole time. All right, over there, eating the turkey. [00:37:17] Speaker E: Iconic. [00:37:19] Speaker A: So the door. The door. And you guys see it some distance away up here in the house. How's everybody reacting as Ro just teleports herself a distance. Wait, can you guys see? [00:37:32] Speaker D: I put my head in my hands and I shake them, and I rub my face a little bit. [00:37:38] Speaker A: Tello just pulls out a copper and gives it to Greta. Some Bet you don't know that he just lost. [00:37:46] Speaker D: Say, oh, another one. [00:37:51] Speaker A: Ro, you walk out onto the deck. Could you roll a D100 for me? [00:37:57] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:37:58] Speaker A: I've just decided I don't want these checks to get tedious. So I'm gonna use them when I think it's funny, and when I don't, I won't. [00:38:05] Speaker E: Okay. 34. [00:38:17] Speaker A: Yeah. Inconsequential in this scenario. Okay. I mean, I could tell you to write it down, but it's just some spell that's not going to apply that you don't have that, you know, it's like. Doesn't matter. [00:38:27] Speaker E: How do you know? What if it does apply? [00:38:30] Speaker A: Let's not. As you step out onto the patio, suddenly, you can see the building in phenomenal detail. It's weird. And every additional Moment spent looking at it. It gets weirder. It's kind of like a pagoda, so. Or excuse me, like a gazebo. You guys know a gazebo, right? Yeah, it's like an eight sided gazebo. So it's got a repeating shape. It's got like, like pillars to it and supporting beams so to speak, with walls in between them. And it, you know, I mean you can't see all sides of it right now, but for immediately it looks like, you know, one here, another there, another there. It looks like it's got eight sides. The roof slants outward with eight gables kind of to it. You could call that a gable. Like it comes up to eight points. The roof looks like it's kind of like a, like a, like a really red tile staccato which. The dirt in this landscape is very reddish at the top of the mountain. So that makes sense. And it looks like a, like a red tiles. Excuse me, terracotta. Like an incredibly very, very red terracotta tile roof. Just one groove, slide it into the next. And the same material that the support beams are made out of trace up the edge of the roof to make the sections that hold together the roof itself. There is a walkway all around the length of the building and rails that run protect the. They have little slats between them. I mean you could push through and fall off if you wanted to, but it'd be kind of hard. They're pretty supporting. Out to the front are little steps that go down and like if this thing were to reach the ground, the steps would just land there with it. There are two kind of like it's a red stained, it's not bright red like cherry red, but a bright red wood stained doors on the front with little handles. And the windows are shuttered with that kind of same bright red stain. They match the roof a little. The walls, the beams, the dividing sections on the roof. The floor of this outside area, this patio wrap around patio space, so to speak. The rail, the steps, the handles, the handles on the windows. Everything that's not either that wood or that terracotta, like clay is a similar. It's all the same material. It's all white with kind of like a sipa hue to it. It's got like little kind of like pointed spot sections. Could you give me a medicine nature or a medicine check? [00:41:13] Speaker E: I'll do nature. [00:41:14] Speaker A: And I see there's no, not yet. [00:41:16] Speaker E: That's a 9 20. So that's gonna be a 33. [00:41:21] Speaker A: Holy crap, Boz. It's really starting to get close it's like 20ft off the ground, 150ft away. Now you're. You are going to soon see it in all the detail that Ro seeing it. It's moving consistently, but not quickly through the air. It's got a lazy little floating speed. Ro. Yeah, that's bone. Whole thing's bone. Bone beams, bone roof dividers, bone patio. And not like bones shoved gruesomely together, like laid out tastefully. The beams going up are very carefully knitted together. Bones hundreds. And some of the beams supporting them upward from all sorts of different creatures. You see fish bones, you see mammalian bones. You see people sized bones. You see bigger, you see smaller. The rails are like this too. And you can see that whoever's made this has ground bone down into a paste. Re hardened it so it can make the smooth surface of the floor. This house is a mastercraft in making with bone the sort of thing it would take a lifetime to put together how to do. It's honestly pretty cute in a really shocking way. [00:42:29] Speaker E: It's designed so it's really cute. But is it cute in a nefarious way? [00:42:35] Speaker A: That would be like an intentions or plot or tone and you can't really judge. Okay, how do that? [00:42:45] Speaker E: Can I do an insight check? [00:42:47] Speaker A: That's really challenging. The borders. If you want just a super high D.C. you can, I guess, but that's really pushing the boundaries. [00:42:56] Speaker C: It's okay. I'm just joking. [00:42:57] Speaker E: Okay. [00:43:00] Speaker A: This thing and it's floating toward the group. It looks like it's very directly heading toward you guys. [00:43:04] Speaker E: Let's say I rolled a perception. [00:43:07] Speaker A: You can see out of the periphery of your right vision. There's one more notable thing. This house looks. This building looks symmetrical all the way around. Oh, so it's not big. It's like 12ft high at its highest. 30ft across. Looks kind of symmetrical. It's not big. The backside of it appears to be producing bubbles. Very large bubbles. Bubbles a foot across. Some of them four feet across are just. Can I do the back of the house? [00:43:36] Speaker E: Can I do from nowhere an arcana check to see if this is what's making it fly. Like making like it's like the engine. [00:43:45] Speaker A: Or whatever a product of the magical enchantment. Absolutely. [00:43:47] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:43:49] Speaker A: You're a very, very skilled. [00:43:51] Speaker E: That's gonna be a 21. [00:43:53] Speaker A: You would imagine that this is some sort of conjurational evocational side effect of whatever enchantment is making this thing fly. And it's just slowly moving toward you. [00:44:04] Speaker E: I'm gonna. Yeah. How much closer are we to my friendly. [00:44:12] Speaker A: If you wait it out in another 30 seconds it'll just reach the party. [00:44:17] Speaker E: Maya, I wanna jump. [00:44:19] Speaker A: Good job, baby girl. She hasn't been up to the floating cabinet in forever. A. I'm so proud of you Mayo. [00:44:27] Speaker C: Maya go Maya. [00:44:29] Speaker E: She doesn't need that jump. [00:44:30] Speaker A: Okay, I'm listening. I'm sorry Jackie. [00:44:32] Speaker E: I would like you said there was a window I would like to peer into. Like put my head up and peer into the window. Also I would like to know if there's a doorbell. [00:44:43] Speaker A: An important clarification location. There are windows. There appear to be eight of them and they're all shuttered. They're like double windows also neither here nor there. But look at, look at where Maya is. [00:44:54] Speaker E: Good girl. [00:44:57] Speaker A: That's a six year old cat who weighs 15 pounds. So we're pretty impressed. [00:45:02] Speaker C: Holy cow, those joints. [00:45:04] Speaker E: Oh my goodness. [00:45:05] Speaker A: She's putting some impact on them. [00:45:08] Speaker E: Okay, so shattered windows. [00:45:09] Speaker A: It's. Is there a doorbell there doesn't appear to be. [00:45:13] Speaker E: Or a knocker like a. No, no. [00:45:19] Speaker A: But the building is just slowly reaching down to where the party is and more bubbles are just. And as you wait there kind of stunned and understandably lost on what to do. Ro the building just. It's actually even more gentle. [00:45:38] Speaker E: It's like as it lands Rose gonna gently knock on the door and then step off real quick and get back to the party. [00:45:47] Speaker A: So Ro got all the way up there just to be there when it. When it arrived. And Ro just in the door and then she jumps and she jumps backward. [00:45:57] Speaker E: She's like ditching like a ding dong ditch but a really bad one. [00:46:02] Speaker A: Sat there awkwardly looking at it and a bit of a pause and then one of the doors swings back and standing before you is the individual who opens up the door. You look up to head height and there's no one there. So you look down and see the person who opens it. And treading through the door is a 3 foot tall bipedal fluffy black cat. The cat that walks through is. And it's a cat. It's a black house cat walking on two legs but a big one. Three feet tall this individual is. They're a tad rotund. He has a broad face that is very adorable. Just a fluffy black cat. He's an everyway un upright house cat. Roughly twice the size of his non magical counterparts with only a few key exceptions. His fur coat is perfectly groomed and on his face it even twins twists into a thick mustache over his little kitty mouth which the hair just right here. The Fur right here is just white. And there's a big, thick, twisted mustache, which often rests in a completely neutral feline expression. His whiskers are beaded with tiny minute bone beads, tiny bone beads that are almost hard to even see. They're there. If you guys could see near microscopically, you'd see the little painted patterns, but that's incredibly hard to tell at this distance. His eyes are shocking green, and he wears a silver rimmed monocle over his left eye, the elegant chain of which tucks neatly into a left breast pocket. All of his paws are white furred like fuzzy mittens and socks. He is dressed only his only item of clothing. Well, two. One is a gorgeously woven crimson silk vest trimmed with midnight suede and traced with spiraling floral designs of a slightly darker shade in the same tones. The three buttons on the vest are mother of pearl set in sterling silver. He wears atop his head a glossy black top hat into which spaces for ears have been cut to allow his little kitty cat ears to poke up through. He has a sleek black cane, which is a black, dark stained wood that has a little silver skull at the head of the pommel and the painless white diamond eyes in each of the eyes of the skull. And the door just swings in. And he like the cane. He walks out on little, slight soft cat feet. And he's just looking at you all very flatly. Tyler just goes, okay. And everybody's just looking at him. [00:49:14] Speaker C: Uh, hello. [00:49:16] Speaker E: Hello there. [00:49:17] Speaker C: Are we standing inside the. Are we still at the door? [00:49:20] Speaker A: No, I mean, you guys are feet away from the door outside the building. He just goes, meow. [00:49:27] Speaker C: Do you know the way to the bewildering, bewildering keep. [00:49:32] Speaker A: Meow. [00:49:36] Speaker C: I have the tongue spell. [00:49:37] Speaker A: Zachary, you do have the tongue spell. [00:49:40] Speaker C: And I can speak with animals if I need to, but I'd like to discuss with him. [00:49:45] Speaker A: So, Baz, you say first what you say in common. And then when he meows, meow. But it doesn't sound like a cat's meow. It sounds like meow. When he says that back, you respond, boz meows back. And you see his little cat ears perk up. His face is still fairly neutral. In fact, you see him almost give a sort of snooty look a little bit, but it neutralizes again, and he responds to Boz by saying, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. And Baz, you hear back, yes, I. [00:50:25] Speaker B: Know where the keep is. I have been there many times. [00:50:31] Speaker A: And you guys are just hearing them meowing. Well, whatever it is. [00:50:36] Speaker C: Uh, okay. Well, that's good to know. My name is Boz, and these are some of my friends. Pledge to make your acquaintance to you guys. [00:50:45] Speaker A: Boz is just making meow sounds. [00:50:49] Speaker E: Ro is gonna, they'd like, try to. Ro is gonna try to like she thinks that maybe Vaz is just meowing. And so she's gonna go, she's gonna go meow and wave and says, meow. [00:51:10] Speaker A: You hear Ro say, butt knife. And then wave and his and bro, his brown knits. And he looks at you and he says, meow. And Boz, you hear him say, pardon. [00:51:26] Speaker E: And Ro just nods and looks over at Boz and gives a thumbs up. [00:51:34] Speaker C: I, I just, I, I don't even acknowledge it. I just keep looking at him. I also understand what she said. [00:51:45] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. You heard her say butt knife, and then nod and smile confidently. [00:51:48] Speaker C: I say, and while meowing, I say, we're working on that one. So Ro doesn't hear that. [00:51:55] Speaker E: No. [00:52:00] Speaker C: But I, I, I still say, it's nice to meet you. [00:52:04] Speaker B: No, he says, and you hear, it's good to meet you. My name is Mr. Catawampus. [00:52:12] Speaker A: Mr. Catawampus, which is C A T a W a M P U S Catawampus. Like the word. [00:52:23] Speaker C: Dr. Catawampus. [00:52:25] Speaker B: Mr. Catawampus. [00:52:27] Speaker C: Oh, Mr. Catawampus. [00:52:29] Speaker B: I never got my PhD. [00:52:32] Speaker C: Comes back as it's not too late. But honestly, I don't know if you need it. You seem to be doing really well. [00:52:41] Speaker B: Meow. Thank you. [00:52:46] Speaker C: How far are we from the keep? [00:52:51] Speaker A: He responds with no, which you hear. [00:52:55] Speaker B: As not too far. [00:52:58] Speaker A: If you walk, maybe three weeks. [00:53:04] Speaker B: If you fly by house, maybe four days. [00:53:11] Speaker C: Do you have any spare houses? [00:53:15] Speaker A: He responds with meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Would you hear back as no. [00:53:32] Speaker C: All right. [00:53:33] Speaker A: Then he responds again, meow, meow. [00:53:36] Speaker B: And he says, but I would let. [00:53:39] Speaker A: You fly in mine if you have something to offer. [00:53:44] Speaker C: Sounds fair. Let me take a look. And I kind of pat my pockets. I'm searching for my wallet and keys. [00:53:52] Speaker A: A tiny little kittypaw raises up in a kind of warning motion. He says, now hold on. [00:53:58] Speaker B: I don't want money. [00:54:01] Speaker A: Yes, I'm looking to expand my home. He just gestures back to his house. [00:54:07] Speaker C: Well, I'm somewhat of a novice carpenter. What do you know about holes and pegs? [00:54:13] Speaker B: No, I'm good at what I do. I need bones. Bones material is rare. [00:54:21] Speaker A: It's taken me a Very long time. [00:54:23] Speaker B: To make this one. [00:54:25] Speaker C: Okay. [00:54:25] Speaker B: Very long. [00:54:30] Speaker E: The bones. [00:54:32] Speaker C: Got it. Okay. What kind of bones do you like the best? [00:54:39] Speaker A: Meow, meow, meow, meow. [00:54:43] Speaker B: I can use about any. [00:54:45] Speaker A: Really? [00:54:46] Speaker B: Any bones will do. [00:54:50] Speaker A: Okay. [00:54:52] Speaker C: I'm looking through my inventory to see if I have any bones. Zach, did. I sell the ruined hag skull to what's his name? And I did. I'm going to take that out of my inventory. But I did. [00:55:06] Speaker E: I think Greta has some bones, but we can't do anything about that right now. [00:55:11] Speaker A: Greta is one of Rose farts. Has knocked Greta out temporarily, and Craig's medically tending to her. [00:55:25] Speaker C: I'm a little short on bones at the moment. Could I procure some at the. At the keep for you? [00:55:34] Speaker B: Meow, meow, meow, meow. I don't know if there are any bones in the keep. If you're headed to the keep, I will take something from there. [00:55:48] Speaker C: Okay. Do you have, like, a. Like, what are you looking for there? [00:55:53] Speaker A: Meow, meow, meow. [00:55:56] Speaker B: I would like the book of many secrets. [00:55:59] Speaker C: Oh, cool. [00:56:00] Speaker B: I hear it. Can tell me where to find more bones. [00:56:04] Speaker C: Got it. Okay, let me confer. Sorry, Zachary. Let me look at my stuff. I have. [00:56:24] Speaker E: Does boss relay anything of what's being said? Do you, like, read, like, say he's looking for bones, or are you just not? It's okay. If not just, I'd like to know. [00:56:37] Speaker C: I say, do you mind if I confer with my friend real quick and let her know in case she knows of a good place to get any bones? [00:56:45] Speaker A: He just picks up the staff and gestures broadly and says, meow. [00:56:50] Speaker C: I look at Ro and I talk and I say, hey. It takes about four weeks to get to the keep walking, but he's willing to fly us in his house. But he either wants bones, okay, or us to get him some stuff from the keep. [00:57:11] Speaker A: Pause. That cat talks. [00:57:16] Speaker E: What does he want from the keep? [00:57:18] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:57:22] Speaker E: Deception check. [00:57:24] Speaker C: I think we can do the bone stuff. What I'm wondering is if you guys can remember anywhere that we've been that could have bones. What I could do is I can make a deal where if I can find any tree, I could grow a tree. If I could just. [00:57:41] Speaker E: Well, I mean, I've woken up. I've had dreams where I woke up in a field of bones, but I don't think you want to go there. [00:57:49] Speaker C: All right. If I could find a tree. How did the stink bug get back here? [00:57:54] Speaker D: No. [00:57:56] Speaker E: Oh, no. [00:57:57] Speaker A: Just Landon's war with the stink bugs. [00:58:00] Speaker C: Is so Funny, I think I could get him what he wants. [00:58:06] Speaker E: We could find. Well, this is bad, but we could find a grave. [00:58:12] Speaker C: I think you're thinking a little bit more crudely than I am. [00:58:15] Speaker E: Okay, ask him what kind of bones he wants. Does he want, like, humanoid bones or animal bones? [00:58:21] Speaker C: Okay, I have an idea. I have an idea. Okay, I turn back to the. Just ask him, turn back to Mr. Catawampus, and I say, what type of bones are you particularly interested in? Like. Like creature bones or humanoid bones? Bones that are dead. [00:58:37] Speaker B: Any bones will do. I mean, big bones are good because. [00:58:42] Speaker A: They help me make large structural adjustments. Quit eating my dice, Luna. They make me help. Structural adjustments. [00:58:49] Speaker B: But I need little ones for the finer things, too. Bones are bones, but the more the better. [00:58:57] Speaker C: I know a bone guy. Do you happen to have a tree? [00:59:02] Speaker B: No. [00:59:03] Speaker A: And then he looks around at all the trees in the area. [00:59:06] Speaker C: Oh, sorry. Long day. I can go get some bones and come back, but it's gonna take a couple days. [00:59:19] Speaker E: Hey, boss. [00:59:21] Speaker C: Two days. Yes. [00:59:22] Speaker E: Ro interrupts. You know that I don't know what kind of bones he wants, but you know that ring? This is the farts getting to rose brain, okay? Because you know that ring you have? Well, if one of us wanted to, like, give him something, we could regrow it maybe. [00:59:42] Speaker C: Well, you work that out with him. I'm gonna go do my plan and wait. I don't know what works better. [00:59:47] Speaker E: I don't know how to speak his language. [00:59:49] Speaker C: It seems like you've got some really bright ideas. I trust you're gonna take care of it also. Greta can do tongues too. I turn back to the cat guy. [01:00:00] Speaker A: And I said, starts to wake up, row farts again, and Greta passes out again. [01:00:07] Speaker C: How about this? I'm willing to formalize a deal to get you some good bones, but I have to leave for two days to do it. But I can bring back great bones for you. [01:00:20] Speaker E: Balls. Balls. Where. Where are you gonna go? Balls. [01:00:24] Speaker C: I'm gonna go see Papa John and Eunson. Or Big John. Sorry. [01:00:31] Speaker E: Give me a pizza while you're there, please. Goes back with a pile of bones. [01:00:36] Speaker A: And a big old pizza. Man, you made me laugh so hard I farted. Oh, man. Papa John. [01:00:49] Speaker C: But I have to leave my friends here to go do it. Would you be willing to agree to a blood oath that if I leave. [01:01:01] Speaker A: And bring you back, holds up and. [01:01:03] Speaker B: He goes, meow, meow. [01:01:05] Speaker A: You hear? [01:01:06] Speaker B: Blood is icky. [01:01:07] Speaker A: I'll just make a deal with you. [01:01:10] Speaker C: I just met you, and you seem very reasonable. [01:01:15] Speaker A: Meow. [01:01:16] Speaker C: I am okay. [01:01:19] Speaker E: Hey, hey, balls, balls. Before you go, could you ask him if he speaks any other languages that I could communicate with him with? [01:01:28] Speaker C: What languages do you speak, Ro? [01:01:30] Speaker E: Oh, well, I only. I speak giant and halfling, and maybe I could understand. [01:01:36] Speaker C: Like, guess what? You also speak with animals. And it sounds like he's meowing. [01:01:42] Speaker E: That's true. Rocas speak with animals. [01:01:47] Speaker A: Okay, roll me a D100. [01:01:49] Speaker E: Okay. 55. [01:02:00] Speaker A: Okay. Man, I love this table. Well, a D4. [01:02:11] Speaker E: Wait. [01:02:11] Speaker C: It's a racial feature. It's a racial feature. It's not a spell. [01:02:14] Speaker A: Yeah, it's still a spell. You're still casting the spell. Okay, okay, I'll allow it. This is one of those ones that I was really hoping you would get. Okay, for the next two days, because it's D4 minus 1. For the next two days, beginning immediately, you begin to randomly lose grip strength in your hands. [01:02:36] Speaker C: Oh, I got such. [01:02:37] Speaker A: When you make saving throws, weapon attacks or ability checks or whatever, I think it's funny. Which require the coordinated use of your hands first, roll a D4. On a roll of 2 to 4, the associated check performs normally, and you may roll as you typically would on a roll of one. Your hands cannot grip the item you intend to use, and you fail to check. Additionally, the item you are holding is scattered. 5D whatever, yada, yada. [01:03:00] Speaker E: What do you mean, scattered? [01:03:02] Speaker A: Like you're gonna. You accidentally throw it. I'll put this in your channel, Landon. I empathize with you, but it's also really funny, and I'm sorry. I don't want to laugh at you, but I keep looking up for you swinging at bugs. I mean, I feel. Sorry. That looks annoying. Okay, Ro. For the next three days, you randomly lose grip strength. But as the magic washes over you, you find you can suddenly understand him, which is weird, because he's a person, but it appears he really is. A house cat. But a really big one who has. [01:03:40] Speaker E: Nice clothes, I'm gonna say. Okay, sir, I think I may can understand you now. [01:03:49] Speaker B: I don't know why you couldn't understand me earlier. I speak very clearly. [01:03:54] Speaker A: Meow. [01:03:54] Speaker E: Oh, yes, you do. I'm so sorry. That's. That was on me, Honestly. [01:04:00] Speaker C: All right, I'm gonna go get some bones. I'll be back. [01:04:07] Speaker E: Boss, do you want anyone to go with you, or are you gonna be good? [01:04:10] Speaker C: I'll be fine. I'll be fine. [01:04:12] Speaker B: You want me to start traveling with your friends now? I take it in good faith you have a good cut of your jib. [01:04:20] Speaker C: Well, I can't I have to. I have to come back to a tree. [01:04:23] Speaker B: So I'll just take the tree with me. [01:04:27] Speaker C: If you can do that. [01:04:30] Speaker B: Of course. Can't you? [01:04:32] Speaker A: And then he lifts up his little cane, he points toward a tree, and he says, meow. And the little diamonds in the skull just shine with light, and the tree just lifts out of the ground and starts floating. Oh, this guy's incredibly powerful. [01:04:53] Speaker C: Perfect. All right. [01:04:57] Speaker E: It's meaningless. Nevermind. I'll do it in a minute when you leave, I guess. [01:05:01] Speaker C: All right, guys, I don't come back in three days. Good luck with your journeys. [01:05:08] Speaker E: Okay. Balls. I. I have. Do you want to take the sending stone with you or should I keep it here? [01:05:15] Speaker C: I'll take it since you can cast sending. [01:05:18] Speaker E: Can I? [01:05:20] Speaker C: Somebody can. Somebody can cast something. [01:05:22] Speaker E: That's right. I can do that. [01:05:25] Speaker A: Also. Greta can. [01:05:27] Speaker E: Yeah. Okay. [01:05:28] Speaker C: I don't do that. I'm just kidding. I'm not Greg. [01:05:32] Speaker E: Okay, let us know if you know, anything goes sideways. [01:05:36] Speaker C: Yeah. All right. All right, Zach. I cast tree stride and go to unsen. [01:05:43] Speaker A: Phenomenal. Roll a D100 for me. [01:05:50] Speaker C: That is a 17 or a 41. [01:05:56] Speaker A: Okay, do some scrolling. We have really gotten our mileage out of this table. Okay, 41 involves something with transmutation and then 17. 17. Okay, so they're both transmutational. 17 is shorter inspiration and weirder. Yeah, if you want to roll one more time, you can. 17 is shorter, is longer term and a little less dramatic. 41 is shorter term and much more dramatic. [01:06:36] Speaker C: All right, what about 65? [01:06:43] Speaker A: 65 is pretty negative. [01:06:49] Speaker C: All right, I'll take the shorter transmutational. [01:06:53] Speaker A: Okay, so the shorter term is more severe and the longer term is less severe. [01:06:57] Speaker C: Is less severe. All right, let's take the longer term one. [01:07:03] Speaker B: Okay. [01:07:05] Speaker A: I'm not trying to persuade you. I'm just checking. [01:07:10] Speaker C: Will I be able to speak to somebody without them freaking out? Like, will I be able to go there and, like, spend a day? [01:07:15] Speaker A: Basically, with 41, you're not gonna be able to do what you're trying to do for a bit. It would waste the spell with a. [01:07:25] Speaker C: Day to cast it. [01:07:27] Speaker A: So 41 would be pretty bad, but really hilarious. 17 would be definitely less bad and just kind of weird. [01:07:40] Speaker C: All right, let's do that one, and I'll hop into the chamber. [01:07:42] Speaker A: Okay, Boz, you have a bunch of sudden aching. And as you summon incredibly powerful magics, flare with gold, speak powerful words in the many tongues of the deepest speech, the tree splits open at the same time. You guys see Boz has a bunch of pain in all of his joints. And you and Boz, I want you to roll a D4 for me, all right? [01:08:05] Speaker E: I have pain in his head. [01:08:07] Speaker C: That is a one. [01:08:08] Speaker A: Boz, every limb you have gets longer by two feet. Not your torso, your neck, or your head, but all your arms. Two feet longer in your legs. So now you look real weird. [01:08:21] Speaker C: And so now we know how Misor happened. [01:08:25] Speaker A: And then you get the urge to talk like this for the next 19 hours. You're long, boss. And your deck score increases by one. And you have 10 more feet of movement. [01:08:41] Speaker C: Oh my gosh. I have a 21 dex and a speed of 50. [01:08:47] Speaker A: And you're just. Just real freaky. Long, boss. [01:08:50] Speaker E: Creepy. [01:08:52] Speaker A: And Boz looks real freaky, turns around. Oh, those limbs aren't right. And then he just steps through the portal and disappears. Okay, Ro, you're left there with the cat guy. [01:09:08] Speaker E: Hello. So this is your home? [01:09:12] Speaker B: Yes, this is Catahome. [01:09:18] Speaker E: Oh, I like that. [01:09:20] Speaker A: He taps his little cane on the steps and then the doors open and inside, well, it's a very cozy, weird home. Two walls are completely bookcases that are chocked full of books. All the windows fly open and you can see, they see out from every angle very well. There's a little loveseat lounge. There is a central fireplace in the middle of the room, like a stone circle fireplace, which is weird because you don't see anywhere to vent, but it's there. There is a little cooking station with a sink. I mean, it's very small space. It's not a big building. Wall to wall, the diameter is like 24ft. But there's a bed, which is just a circular bed that like a cat would curl up in. There's a little armoire and dresser. There are side tables. There's a little writing desk with supplies. Just a cozy little home. There's a little artist easel. There's another trunk, a wooden trunk next to that. And everything is scaled to the size of a three foot tall cat. And he just says, I've given a gentleman's agreement. [01:10:38] Speaker B: I'll need you to come inside. [01:10:40] Speaker A: And his tiny little kitty paws just start walking up into the building. Of course, the other three fungi's look at you, confused. [01:10:48] Speaker E: Oh, guys, there's an agreement. We have to come inside. Per the agreement. [01:10:55] Speaker A: Taylor just rolls his eyes. [01:10:56] Speaker B: Craig goes, cool. [01:10:59] Speaker A: Sorry about that, guys. And then passes out. And the three of you guys go up into Catahome and the doors close behind you. Pause. [01:11:11] Speaker C: Yes. [01:11:11] Speaker A: Where do you emerge? [01:11:13] Speaker C: The closest Tree to Big John's. [01:11:16] Speaker A: Okay. You appear out of a tree. I think the last time you guys went to Unson you used a tree that you passed somewhere between by an artistic district somewhere in Port Ms. Bundy saw. Somewhere in Portis Bundy saw. This tree goes and opens up with golden light and long paw steps out with all of his legs and there's like 180 people within 50ft of you who all. Because it's Unson when they saw. And all these people just turned. These people shocked at you and turn and look as this dazzling, sparkling, long limbed, multi haired, leaf growing guy covered in strange garb and armor walks out. Everybody just looks at you concerned and confused. There's a bunch of shuttered, confused remarks in insinian. There's a silver scale soldier next nearby with a pike who just kind of lowers it a little and gives you a confused look. [01:12:17] Speaker C: I give him like a thumbs up like, hey, we're all good. [01:12:21] Speaker A: Give me a persuasion check. [01:12:24] Speaker E: Is it a really long thumb? [01:12:27] Speaker A: No, the hands and feet are normal. The arms are long. [01:12:33] Speaker C: That persuasion. That is a four. That is a 14. [01:12:37] Speaker A: Okay. You give him a little thumbs up on a long arm and he just. Okay, he just raises the pike a little bit. The whole crowd's just frozen staring at you. Except that it's also porous bunny sauce. So six of the 180 people just roll their eyes and keep walking. Because it's a big city but for plenty of people. This is plenty freaky. And everyone's just looking at you and. [01:13:03] Speaker C: Start moving very quickly towards Magic Lane. [01:13:06] Speaker A: 50Ft and all your legs just people are like getting out of your way. You can just step over some people and you're just pause. [01:13:15] Speaker C: I could climb over buildings if I wanted to. I could Spider man this. [01:13:18] Speaker A: Are you doing that? [01:13:19] Speaker C: No, I don't do that because I don't be arrested. [01:13:23] Speaker A: So it's you just long boss Spider Man. So boss. You just have the weirdest and you're far from Magic Lane. So it's just like. It's just like two hours of long walking across town. And everywhere you go, everywhere you go there's. I mean it's. The problem is it's the big city, you know, so there aren't trees everywhere. But yeah, you do need a new tree. But it's just this long walk and everybody's giving you like shocked, concerned, confused looks. It is porous. But we saw. So there are people who don't seem to care. And as you get closer to Magic Lane, more and more people Take it in simply as something interesting and less as something shocking. But you're freaking out most people. Indeed. Halfway through, a couple soldiers stop you and ask some questions, but you explain yourself and they look really confused, but they just let you go. And eventually you reach the famous and eponymous magic lane, with all of its incredible institutions and shops and amazing businesses. Do you head straight to Big John's? [01:14:27] Speaker C: I do. [01:14:28] Speaker A: Okay, as you pass by the magical pizza shop Papa John's, you head to Big John's. And there at the long L, actually. [01:14:35] Speaker C: I go back to Papa John's. I want to see inside. Can you describe it for me? [01:14:39] Speaker A: You get close and the big mic flashes in your mind. If it's not there. [01:14:42] Speaker C: But you go back to Big Jevons. [01:14:45] Speaker A: And it's a very long one. It's very. It's very gonzo from the Muppets, all the limbs flailing. But you get back over to where Big John's is and there's the dark wood, the heavy building on top of it, the long wrapping desk, counter. Monster parts are being hawked and flung and tossed back and forth. And gruff, monstrous peopled workers are heavily setting about their tasks. And there is the very, very large, stout half work man who's shouting gruff cockney orders. And he looks around and he goes. [01:15:25] Speaker B: Okay, almost done for the day and. [01:15:29] Speaker C: Sorry, it's a temporary thing. [01:15:33] Speaker B: What's wrong with you? You're that guy. [01:15:36] Speaker C: You're the guy. [01:15:38] Speaker A: And he just rubs his. What's wrong with his temple? And the heart guy and this little, little like, like most. [01:15:44] Speaker C: The hag school guy give you the hags? [01:15:46] Speaker A: Cool, wiry, rough looking goblin guy goes, look back. And Big John goes, shut up. [01:15:55] Speaker B: All right. What are you? What do you want? [01:15:58] Speaker C: Got a question for you. [01:15:59] Speaker B: Why are you. Long. [01:16:03] Speaker A: Story. [01:16:04] Speaker B: What's wrong with you? [01:16:05] Speaker C: Bad spell. Should be done by tomorrow. I'll be back to normal, I think. [01:16:11] Speaker A: Okay. What do you want? [01:16:12] Speaker C: I don't know. I'm hurrying. It's just a long walk. [01:16:14] Speaker B: Oh, you move so weird. [01:16:17] Speaker C: Oh, man. I let out a deep breath and I say, Big John. [01:16:24] Speaker A: Yep. [01:16:25] Speaker C: What's. What's the least popular thing that you sell? [01:16:31] Speaker B: The least popular thing. [01:16:32] Speaker C: I sell least popular thing. [01:16:34] Speaker B: I mean, most things. [01:16:36] Speaker C: I'm actually curious. [01:16:37] Speaker B: Specific item and popular. [01:16:39] Speaker A: Give me a persuasion checkpoint because you have a complicated relationship with this guy. [01:16:47] Speaker C: Oh my gosh. That is a 27. [01:16:50] Speaker A: Holy crap. Big John doesn't actively like you, and that's not much of a secret. But you continue to bring him fascinating trade items and your insight Score is really high. As he looks you up and down, you realize that he stops for a second and he nods a little, and you realize, oh, shoot, he knows who Baz is. I mean, the funguys are known here. Now, that was a little bit of a thing the last time you came here. And you're so freaky looking right now that enough people didn't recognize you on your way in. But he remembers and he's like, yeah, okay, I'm dealing with a world class hero, even if I don't like him. And he's brought me lots of interesting things. So he just nods for us, like looking annoyed and petulant, and he just. [01:17:35] Speaker B: Goes, well, we have what we call excess buys. Things that are worthy, valuable, I demand, but brought in a great quantity. They're not unvaluable, but they take a long time to sell and you have to dry them out or use a lot of preserving liquids and space to hold them. That takes a lot of time. It's better to get them out of the inventory as fast as we can. [01:18:06] Speaker C: I make a guess. [01:18:09] Speaker B: I could be wrong, general category of item, but sure, it's something. [01:18:13] Speaker C: Everything. Ha. Most things. Most things have bones. Everything has bones. Some don't even matter. Some are pretty great. I assume. I don't know. But everything has bones. You probably have big ones, small ones, medium ones, lots of them. Probably have to throw a lot of them away. Am I crazy? I was just assuming. [01:18:38] Speaker A: Boss, make a persuasion check. [01:18:40] Speaker C: I'm not trying. I'm actually very excited. [01:18:43] Speaker A: Sure, sure, sure. [01:18:44] Speaker C: Rock his world. That is a. I'm not lying. Zach is a Twitter 28. [01:18:48] Speaker A: Oh, my goodness. John's not a fan, but he goes. [01:19:00] Speaker B: Well, you might be weird, but you're smart. Yeah. Yes, I do have to dump a lot of bones to sell them out of a lower price. How do you know that? [01:19:12] Speaker A: Just. [01:19:12] Speaker C: It makes sense. Everything has bones. [01:19:15] Speaker A: He looks around at his staff. [01:19:16] Speaker B: Have you got a man on the inside? [01:19:18] Speaker C: I have a man that is obsessed with bones. His whole house. [01:19:24] Speaker A: Dragon bones are valuable. Dragon bones. [01:19:27] Speaker C: The thing is, he doesn't care. He doesn't care. He uses him to build his house. Everything in his home. Like, not in a weird way, like in, like. [01:19:36] Speaker B: Okay, okay. You don't have to make crap up. I'm listening to you. You've got my ear. Somebody killed the whole Chimera far east of here. [01:19:46] Speaker C: Why did she say I didn't understand the. I didn't. [01:19:49] Speaker A: Yeah, his accent's heavy. He said. He said somebody killed a whole Chimera. Or, no, he wouldn't have said Chimera. Excuse me? Wrong answer. Monster. [01:19:57] Speaker B: He goes. So we kill the whole Manticore far east of here. I've got an undisclosed amount of bones from it that, quite frankly, after I've sold off the teeth and the spines and the claws and the fangs, they're not doing much for me. What do you want for them? [01:20:21] Speaker C: I. I don't. I don't know. Here's my big. I have a bigger idea. I have a bigger idea. [01:20:29] Speaker B: Oh, why couldn't I have gotten a warrior of the. Well? All right. What's up? [01:20:34] Speaker C: This guy wants bones all the time. Like, this could potentially just be the guy that you give bones to whenever you have extra bones. The thing is, he is in a part of the world that is unreachable, impossible to get to, and I'm the only one who knows how to get there. I think we should come to an agreement. [01:20:59] Speaker B: Like what? [01:21:00] Speaker C: So you give me a call whenever you have a lot of bones, and I get in touch with him, and I get the bones to him, and you give me a small percent, like a tiny percent. It would take two days of my time, basically, eventually, one day. But for right now, it would take two days of my time to get them for. To him. Here's the. Here's the only problem. I have to have something to put the bones in that can hold more space than it actually does. So if you figure out how to get me something like that, I can basically give you access to somebody who will take all the bones that you can give him. And he's extremely wealthy. He's one of the most wealthy people I've ever met. [01:21:46] Speaker B: Pause. [01:21:47] Speaker A: Make a. I'll tell you what. Before you say that last line, it. It does occur to you Mr. Catawampus didn't offer to pay you. He didn't receive any money from you. [01:22:02] Speaker C: Yeah, you're right. [01:22:03] Speaker A: Know that he has any money. [01:22:06] Speaker C: You're right. [01:22:06] Speaker A: But you would have thought of that. You would. You're a sharp guy. You would. [01:22:09] Speaker C: You're right, you're right, you're right. [01:22:10] Speaker A: Everything. Everything leading up to that last line. [01:22:14] Speaker B: Big John goes, what's in it for me? [01:22:19] Speaker C: Easy way to get rid of an offload of bone. [01:22:21] Speaker B: But are you gonna pay this money through. How do I know you're gonna be a good middleman? That I'm gonna get on my full cup? [01:22:28] Speaker C: I. I'll make a formal agreement. I'll do whatever you want. I don't know. I can give you something to. Hold on To. [01:22:35] Speaker B: Look, I've got a thing that can. I can transport a lot in. I've got a. I've got a series of barrels of holding. All right? I imagine you know what that is, Mr. Big Adventurer Man. But, yes, they are invaluable to me. [01:22:51] Speaker C: Okay. [01:22:51] Speaker B: I don't think I can trust you with them. [01:22:53] Speaker C: All right, what. What do you propose? [01:22:58] Speaker B: I don't know. I need some sort of collateral or something. Something that guarantees to me that I'm going to get this back. [01:23:04] Speaker C: All right? [01:23:09] Speaker A: Landon loves more in D and D than striking deals up with people. It's his favorite part of the game. [01:23:13] Speaker C: I pull out the. Oh, man. Oh, man. I have a couple of different. I have a couple of different things to do. This is very funny. I'm sorry, Jackie. I don't want to take up all the time. [01:23:33] Speaker E: No, you're good. I'm reading feats. [01:23:43] Speaker C: I pull out the brooch of shielding. [01:23:48] Speaker A: Okay, wait, you ate the what? The brooch of shielding, brooch of shielding, brooch of shielding. And place it down on the counter. His eyes kind of. His brows raise a bit. Give me one second. [01:24:04] Speaker E: I was like, you have a bridge? [01:24:07] Speaker C: A bridge? In my pocket, yeah. [01:24:08] Speaker E: In your pocket. [01:24:09] Speaker A: I pulled the entire bridge out of my pocket. His brows raised, and he goes, oh, I'm missing. [01:24:21] Speaker C: I have something else, but I don't want to tell you what it is with others around. Do you have, like, a private spot in the shop that we could discuss? [01:24:33] Speaker A: He pulls out a little monocle and he says it, like, flashes with a bit of light. Shoves it back into a coat pocket or like a bib pocket, and he. [01:24:44] Speaker E: Goes, and an identify monocle? [01:24:46] Speaker A: Yep, he has an identify monocle. Hey. He trades with nothing but adventures and sells swords and bounty hunters and slayers. I mean, magic stuff comes to his stuff. He puts it away and he goes. I mean, that's a rare item, but, yeah, he's a wealthy man and it serves him to have it. [01:25:00] Speaker B: And he goes, that's valuable. All right. Two days. I work for love. Bad folk would be glad to bring me back your kneecaps if you don't get me back what I have. [01:25:16] Speaker C: Believe it, dm Just to make sure I understand, the. The deal is that I take these bones in these barrels to him and then bring back the barrels. [01:25:26] Speaker A: Yes. Yeah. [01:25:27] Speaker C: Okay. [01:25:28] Speaker A: So that'd be three days, whatever the payment is here, four days. [01:25:31] Speaker C: And he goes, I'm gonna pay him in advance. That's what I say is like, I'll pay you in advance for the bones. The first time, like, I. He lives in a very fancy house with very fancy things, but I haven't seen, like, actual cool point yet. And so I'll take the risk on this one, you know, like, you'll get the barrels back and you'll get paid for the shipment of bones. And then, you know, if he does have money, then it'll work out for you in the future, but I'll. I'll pay for these myself. And then next time, we can figure out a middle thing once it works out and, like, shows it to work. [01:26:02] Speaker A: Big John's enormous chin scrunches up pensively. Give me one last deception or one last persuasion. Check. Pause. That's good. That is a little lower because. [01:26:17] Speaker C: 15. [01:26:19] Speaker A: Yeah, okay. I mean, that's. You guys roll high often, but that's not a bad roll. And DCs can change. DCs aren't flat. You know, DCs change based off what you say and do. This is a very attractive deal to him. So picks up the brooch, like, kind of flicks it up and catches it, puts it in the bib pocket, and. [01:26:37] Speaker B: He goes, don't cross me. [01:26:40] Speaker A: Long guy stomps off, comes back with this big barrel. It's big. It's this big wooden barrel. It's maybe like a foot and a half across, two and a half feet tall. And he just sets it down on the floor. And then a lanky bugbear worker walks out with this huge pile of bones stacked in his arms. And then he opens the lid and drops them inside. Plenty of them are too long for the barrel. And then they just disappear. The worker walks back another. Arm full of bones returns. Arm full of bones returns. Armful of bones returns. Armful of bones. You'd have a hard time estimating, but that was like 200 pounds plus of bones that just got dropped in this barrel. And the barrel looks fine. It doesn't look like. You don't see anything in it. And then the guy just puts the lid back on the barrel and then twists it. And it sounds like it has some sort of, like a something in it that expands or pushes against the side and it looks held in. And Big John picks it up. There's two straps you can put over the shoulder. He puts it on the counter and. [01:27:56] Speaker B: He goes, so, what are you willing to offer me for these bones? [01:28:01] Speaker C: I would prefer. Look, I prefer if you told me what they were worth, and I'll pay that. Like, I. I'm the middle guy. I'm just taking them to him, like, all Right. [01:28:11] Speaker B: All right. I don't like you, long guy, but you've shot straight with me so far. So I say it is bones for 40 gold, all right? [01:28:36] Speaker A: Which is not a small amount of money. I mean, that's like $1,200. [01:28:43] Speaker C: All right, I. I think I pull out 40 gold and I do you. [01:28:50] Speaker A: Have a platinum or in gold? [01:28:52] Speaker C: I have 500 gold pieces. [01:28:54] Speaker A: Okay, sick. [01:28:55] Speaker C: And then I pull out, I pull out 10 more and I put it down and I say, you know, just to get us started on the right foot. [01:29:03] Speaker B: You're winning me over, Boz. [01:29:06] Speaker A: I know it's in his pocket. [01:29:09] Speaker C: It's a weird ask. And I know that you're having to put a little bit of trust in me. And that's fair. [01:29:15] Speaker B: They were worth 50. [01:29:16] Speaker A: And he pushes the barrel towards you. [01:29:19] Speaker C: All right, you sling it over your. [01:29:22] Speaker A: Shoulders, but shoulders and Boz, you brace yourself for the great weight barrel of holding. It's just the weight of the barrel. So it's not light, but it's not that heavy. You were expecting all those bones. And then, oh, yeah, you stand up straight, you really bizarrely long limbed guy with a barrel on your back, and you start your way through the city. Smash cut back to Rowan Company. Boz has disappeared somewhere in the world. You're in this house. Mr. Catawampus, like, kind of flicks his cane around in the air in the house, lifts back up and then starts, like, just floating off in a direction. And the tree is floating with you all. And you guys begin lifting and floating. Yes, it's just floating next to the house. [01:30:23] Speaker B: And then he says, no. [01:30:26] Speaker A: And his little cane disappears in air, in smoke. [01:30:34] Speaker E: So, Mr. Mr. Catawampus, how long have you lived here? Or do you live on the island just in your lovely home? Or do you travel around all the lost lands? [01:30:52] Speaker A: Craig and Tello look so confused because you're just meowing back and forth, not making meows, saying the word meow in different pitches and tones. Greta looks thrilled as the tattoos on the side of her face, the emerald tattoos light up. And she's just following everything. And Minister Catawampa says in meows, well. [01:31:13] Speaker B: I've lived here for five, six, maybe seven. And I go about the aisle as I please. [01:31:25] Speaker E: Cool. Do you live alone? Like, do you have any friends around. [01:31:34] Speaker A: Or at the empty house? [01:31:38] Speaker B: I'm sorry, I'm not looking for roommates at this time. [01:31:41] Speaker E: Oh, no, no, no, no, I wasn't. [01:31:43] Speaker A: He walks away from that. He like, he like, sits down on the throw. He Takes off his little top hat. And there's, like, a little hook for it. And then he raises one of his legs up past his head. And just lowers his head and starts licking the base of his leg. And his tail is thumping. [01:32:02] Speaker B: And Craig just goes, oh, that's weird. [01:32:07] Speaker A: I'm sorry. Greta's still unconscious. [01:32:09] Speaker E: Oh, she's back unconscious. I thought. [01:32:11] Speaker A: She's tuckered out. She's tired. She's taking a nap. She lounges on one of the throws and takes a nap. [01:32:16] Speaker E: Is there anything we can do while we're here, Mr. Leg? [01:32:23] Speaker A: And his leg is still straight up in here next to him. No, I'm good. [01:32:30] Speaker E: Okay. Okay. I'm going to. I'm going to. How long does this last? I think, like, 10 minutes. [01:32:39] Speaker A: Okay. [01:32:40] Speaker E: Yeah. So I'm gonna sit down with. And I'm gonna kind of motion to tell. And kind of sit down in a corner and tell what all has conspired in the past few minutes. [01:33:02] Speaker A: Then recapping everything, Teller goes. Wow, that's weird. [01:33:07] Speaker E: Yeah. [01:33:09] Speaker B: Okay. [01:33:10] Speaker A: Course. [01:33:11] Speaker C: Yeah. [01:33:11] Speaker A: What's up, Lando? [01:33:12] Speaker C: Can I ask for one oxy audible. [01:33:18] Speaker E: Oxygen? Sure. [01:33:19] Speaker A: What's that? [01:33:20] Speaker C: I would have asked Big John for, like, a document with an inventory of the bones that were given and what they were from. [01:33:26] Speaker B: Absolutely. [01:33:27] Speaker A: One is signed and created and. For sure. For sure. Yeah. [01:33:30] Speaker C: I would have said, like, give it, like, a seal. Like, make it look fancy and stuff. Like. Like for presentation. I don't know what he would have done, but sign, like, signature. Okay, cool. [01:33:43] Speaker A: It's not as fancy as you want it. His handwriting's rough, and he just, like, folds. When he folds it, the fold's real uneven. He just shoves it in an ugly letter. And he takes wax out. But the way he stamps it is cool. He pulls out this tiny little creature's skull. And stamps the wax with the front of the skull and lifts it out. And it already has caked wax on front of it. You get the feeling this is what he seals stuff with. [01:34:07] Speaker C: But sick. [01:34:08] Speaker A: Whatever the skull is, it's tiny. And it has three eye holes. No lower jaw. But that's the letter you're carrying with you. So are you there withello and Telogos? I have some real mixed emotions about the lost lands. [01:34:28] Speaker E: Yeah, same. And Ro nods to her bald head. [01:34:35] Speaker A: Then I goes, you got some peach fuzz. That's nice. It's coming back a little. [01:34:39] Speaker E: Yeah, I think. I think I'm gonna try that ring of regeneration when Craig's done with it. See if I can speed it up a little. [01:34:50] Speaker A: Look, for whatever it's worth, I'm not saying that bald is better than when you had hair, but you know how some people go bald and you're like, oh, your head's not the shape for that? Yeah, I know this isn't the look you like, but it's not awful. Okay, well, you, you don't look not pretty. It's not a terrible look. [01:35:08] Speaker E: Okay, I guess that's okay. Thanks. [01:35:11] Speaker A: I'm sorry. I'd be bad if I lost all my hair too. [01:35:14] Speaker E: Yeah, you know, it's just, it's like part of me. I don't know. Yeah, I tell, I, I've been wanting to tell her the rest of the, the party, but I think I've been thinking about it and you know how like, my dad had like a name for the new loot and she holds up Song Splitter. [01:35:34] Speaker A: Yeah, of course. [01:35:36] Speaker E: I've been thinking about it and I was like, well, if, well, if it has a name, I feel like the other one like deserves a name, you know, and Absolutely. I mean, like, looking at them, they're kind of like, I don't know, they're very like opposites. Right. So, yeah, I was thinking like, if this one's Song Splitter, what do you, what do you think if this one was like. Because I, I, I, I've used it to like, heal a lot and. [01:36:04] Speaker A: Oh, for sure. [01:36:05] Speaker E: And also like, I've always thought like, music is kind of healing in itself, right? Not just like. [01:36:11] Speaker A: Yeah, especially not. [01:36:12] Speaker E: Yeah, not like in the literal sense, but like lately it's been like in the literal sense. So. [01:36:16] Speaker A: Like recent. [01:36:17] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:36:18] Speaker E: So what if it was like Song Splitter and Soul Mender? [01:36:24] Speaker A: Bro, I love it. Really? I mean, I wouldn't just say that. I think that's really good. [01:36:30] Speaker E: Okay. [01:36:31] Speaker A: Song Splitter. [01:36:33] Speaker E: Yeah, I like it. [01:36:36] Speaker A: And you know, not to be morbid, but they'll probably outlive you. So it. Having a really epic game like that feels good to pass on to other well meaning adventurers. [01:36:47] Speaker E: Yeah, I like that. I like that a lot. So we're in a floating cat's house. [01:36:57] Speaker A: Did Boz seem longer to you the last time you saw him? [01:37:00] Speaker E: Yeah, I think. [01:37:01] Speaker A: Smash cut to the next day. Boz, you have found somewhere to stay. It cost you. Did you stay somewhere nice or somewhere cheap? [01:37:17] Speaker C: Nice, because I don't want my bones to be messed with. [01:37:22] Speaker A: What a, what a sentence. You, you pay a silver for a night stay? Well, do you go nice or do you go really nice? [01:37:33] Speaker C: Does Le Pomever have like residency? Because it has, like a tabernacle. [01:37:37] Speaker A: As an affiliate member, you take up residence there, which is weird because everyone there knows you, so you kind of come off like a celebrity. And also everyone's real freaked out by the way you look. But you are allowed to stay there free because you are. You are an affiliate member. And so you have a weird night where people are kind of flocked around to see you, but also really disturbed by you. The next day, you get up, you return to the tree. When you get there, I use a. [01:38:09] Speaker C: Cindy Stone to call Ro as well. [01:38:11] Speaker A: Okay. [01:38:11] Speaker C: Or to make sure the tree is landed in a safe space for me to get out of. So I don't just fall into the magic waters when you. [01:38:18] Speaker E: When you call, I go meow. [01:38:23] Speaker C: But knife to you as well. [01:38:25] Speaker E: What? [01:38:27] Speaker C: That's what you said. [01:38:29] Speaker A: Oh, that's not the text for the sepisc episode. The description could just say butt knife. [01:38:35] Speaker C: No, no, I'm not. I'm not. We're gonna name this episode what Must Come Down. That's what we're gonna name this episode. [01:38:42] Speaker E: What? No, we've already aimed an episode. [01:38:45] Speaker C: No, we didn't. That's what the joke was, Zachary, because the episode that was supposed to be named Must Comes down is defying gravity. So I'm sorry, I'll. I'll just change it all up. [01:38:56] Speaker A: Anyways, any who. Okay. [01:39:02] Speaker E: What? [01:39:02] Speaker A: You get the call and he asks, is the tree in a safe space? [01:39:07] Speaker E: It's in the middle of the air. [01:39:09] Speaker A: At like mid morning, and when you go walk out on the patio, the house is like 300ft in the air and the tree's floating next to it. [01:39:17] Speaker E: The tree is like 300ft up. Balls. So just, you know, don't. [01:39:22] Speaker C: All right, Let me know when it's not and I'll come back. [01:39:27] Speaker E: You don't want to come back now. [01:39:29] Speaker C: Tell them I have the bones ready. [01:39:31] Speaker E: You don't want to come back now. [01:39:37] Speaker C: Is the storm magical? Oh, man. [01:39:45] Speaker A: Ro, do you cast anything to speak with Mr. Catawampus to ask him to lower the tree, or do you just wait it out? [01:39:52] Speaker E: No, I cast It's a new day, you say? Yeah, so I cast babies. [01:39:57] Speaker C: I love that. [01:39:58] Speaker A: Okay, roll me a D127. We haven't gotten that one yet. Ro, for the next 12 hours, you have a swimming speed of 60ft. [01:40:20] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. [01:40:21] Speaker A: And you gain the benefits of the water breathing and water walk spells. [01:40:26] Speaker E: Wait, it's the swimming speed of what? [01:40:29] Speaker A: 60Ft? [01:40:35] Speaker E: Walk speed and then water walk and water. Wow, cool. For 12 hours. [01:40:45] Speaker A: Yep. But speak with animals comes over you again, and you can Meow. Talk to Mr. Caddy Wampus. You talk it out. And he lowers the home. About 15 minutes later, the home lowers down onto the soils in a clearing, and the tree lands as well. [01:41:13] Speaker E: Am I still on the stone with. [01:41:17] Speaker A: Boz has the sending stone. [01:41:20] Speaker C: I'm calling her every. Every, like, five minutes, bothering her, trying. [01:41:23] Speaker A: To figure out, okay, at some point, you contact her, and she can report eyeballs. [01:41:29] Speaker E: Yeah, we're. We're down on. We're down on the grind. [01:41:31] Speaker C: We're taking so long. Okay, great. And so I cast. [01:41:33] Speaker E: Excuse. [01:41:36] Speaker C: I'm back to my regular self now, by the way, I don't have weirdly long arms. [01:41:40] Speaker E: Oh, God. I wasn't gonna have you come back. [01:41:43] Speaker A: You're just on the stone, leaning against the tree, and there's like, 40 people gathered around you just staring. A painter has come up and brought an easel and is painting because he's famous. [01:41:54] Speaker E: Oh, that's right. I was like, why? [01:41:56] Speaker A: One of the Teen Titans is just here hanging out. Teen Titans. And so somebody's just sitting there painting you, and you're like, try not to look weird, but all right. [01:42:07] Speaker C: I cast the spell. And I fall into the tree with the barrel. Or I step into it, rather. I don't fall. [01:42:13] Speaker A: He returns. Boz, when you. When you return, do you still have tongues? [01:42:19] Speaker C: It lasts for three days. So I think this is my last day. [01:42:21] Speaker B: Yes. [01:42:22] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. [01:42:24] Speaker C: No, two days. So this is my last. No, no. How many days has it been? [01:42:30] Speaker A: Two. Two days, but you got it on the 20th. This is your last day. This is your last day. Okay. [01:42:34] Speaker C: This is my last day. Okay. [01:42:35] Speaker A: So you step out of the tree. Mr. Catawampus greets you and says, welcome back. [01:42:42] Speaker C: I thank you. I set the barrel down, and I hand him the envelope with the documents on it. [01:42:51] Speaker A: Okay. He pulls it out, opens it, scans over it carefully folds it back up, puts in the letter. [01:42:57] Speaker B: And he says, I can't read this. [01:43:00] Speaker C: Oh, sorry. I. I look over it, and I. I basically point out the different creatures and, like, how many bones of what kind. And I just kind of work through. [01:43:09] Speaker A: The inventory as you. As you go down the list and you point. You watch as his eyes. You know how cats like their pupils dilate when they see a toy? They like his pupils just expand and expand and expand until they take up, like, his. His whole eyes. And ro. [01:43:25] Speaker B: You just hear him go meow. [01:43:29] Speaker A: And pause. [01:43:29] Speaker B: You hear, that's a lot of bones. [01:43:34] Speaker A: He folds it up, puts to the Side. He like walks over to the barrel. His eyes just see over the top of it. His little kitty arms reach up, but he can't get them inside. And so he like, no. And his little cane appears. The eyes flash and the barrel picks up, turns, and tilts so that he can just reach right into it. He reaches a little paw out and he scoops out bones that fall to the ground. His pupils dilate. Bones, bones, bones, bones, bones, bones, bones, bones, bones. And he just does this until there's like a three foot tall pile of bones. And his tail is just back and forth turns, and he looks at you. [01:44:18] Speaker B: And he goes, we have a deal. [01:44:22] Speaker A: And he swirls his little cane, which is almost a wand to you all. And all the bones, every last one of the littlest ones, pick up and lift up into the house. And they dance along as they go. And one of the two armoires opens up and it's like empty inside. And they all just disappear into the armoire. And then the armoire closes behind them. [01:44:45] Speaker B: And he says, I'll take you. [01:44:48] Speaker C: Okay. Thank you. The guy I got these from usually has more. These were about 50 gold pieces. But he does like to barter, so. [01:45:08] Speaker A: He nods and a little kitty paw strokes the bottom of his mouth, just. [01:45:13] Speaker C: Letting you know he gets up on bones. [01:45:18] Speaker A: Mr. Catawampus responds by saying, I like this guy. [01:45:22] Speaker B: And you, what's a gold? [01:45:26] Speaker C: Great. Figured that you might say that it's a measure of val and the land this man is from. [01:45:35] Speaker B: Oh, like bones. [01:45:37] Speaker C: Yes, like bones are to you is gold to him. But bones to him don't mean the same as bones mean to you. [01:45:46] Speaker B: So he makes his home, his cups, his bed, his underwear. [01:45:54] Speaker C: Out of bones, out of gold, out of gold. He bet he wishes he could. He's not as blessed, but like I said, he likes to trade for other things. [01:46:07] Speaker A: Specifically, comes by on the wind and whispers, hashtag, blood. [01:46:11] Speaker C: Ha ha ha. Like parts of the creatures or forced laugh that hurt. [01:46:20] Speaker A: Are you guys having this conversation as you get back into the flying house or. [01:46:23] Speaker C: Yes. Yes. I just want to tell you, just. [01:46:25] Speaker A: Keep the barrel on your person. [01:46:29] Speaker C: I keep it with me when I go into different rooms, but I don't necessarily carry it on my back all the time. [01:46:35] Speaker A: I got you. Okay. Yeah. So you carry it with you into the house. Mr. Catawampus looks back at the tree. [01:46:41] Speaker B: And says, do we still need that with us? [01:46:43] Speaker C: Yes. Yes. I have to take this barrel back to him. [01:46:48] Speaker B: Understood. [01:46:49] Speaker A: And he just waves his little cane again in the house and the Tree lift up and go back to floating and rising in the sky. More bubbles. [01:46:57] Speaker E: After. After watching him cast these different things, could I do an arcana check to see, like, what kind of magic he's using? Like, as far as like is like. Like, is he a wizard? Is he a sorcerer? Is he a druid? You know, like that kind of like. [01:47:17] Speaker A: I know those aren't with some of the delineations. Not all of them, but plenty of them. [01:47:21] Speaker E: Like, I know that's not necessarily how we view things, as some of them. [01:47:27] Speaker A: Are and some of them aren't. [01:47:30] Speaker E: Okay, that's going to be a 23. [01:47:40] Speaker A: He comes off the magic feels very innate. Doesn't feel very studied. You notice he doesn't bother with many specifics or there's no real tracing of runes. There's very little employment of any spell components. He seems intrinsically powerful and he seems very fey. Not necessarily. I mean, this is bleeding into territories you don't have a ton of experience with. He feels a little. He just feels a little high Fae. [01:48:14] Speaker B: Ish. [01:48:14] Speaker A: Like he's got a lot of fey power and he just comes out of him as he pleases. Okay, okay. Sorcerer might be the closest analogy you could place. But again, just something else cool. And as the house takes off of the sky, plenty of bones in tow. The deal for flying you all to Krftenantalamula. But Drended secured. That's where we're going to end. Episode125 Bone to Pick so good stuff, everybody. Very weird sessions. Love it. [01:48:47] Speaker E: I like him. [01:48:49] Speaker C: I love making a business deal in Port Resplendisan. [01:48:53] Speaker A: You guys gained 0.03 levels for having forged, successfully forged your deal with Mr. Catawampus of 0.31. Heck yeah. All right, guys. Yeah. Great session. Weird stuff. How we like it. Can you think of anything important to say to the sound hours? Or. [01:49:19] Speaker E: Go give your cat scratches. [01:49:22] Speaker C: Yeah, and say happy birthday to Micah. [01:49:25] Speaker E: And say happy birthday. [01:49:26] Speaker C: Probably a couple weeks late and this goes up. [01:49:29] Speaker E: But she'll still appreciate it. [01:49:31] Speaker C: We'll appreciate it and she'll save it for next year. [01:49:35] Speaker E: Happy New Year, everyone. Yeah. This is our first session of the of 2025. [01:49:43] Speaker A: Oh my God. Oh, this is the first session. [01:49:45] Speaker C: This is the second session. [01:49:48] Speaker E: First session, first night. Yeah, it's all one session. [01:49:52] Speaker A: Anywho. [01:49:53] Speaker E: Very cool listeners. [01:49:54] Speaker A: Life is an incredible adventure. You are a very important part of it. Butt knife. [01:50:00] Speaker C: Butt knife.