129. Who Are You, Bazz?

[00:00:00] Speaker A: It's weird. I don't know. [00:00:02] Speaker B: I just like to do that. [00:00:04] Speaker C: Welcome back to Barely DND your Sword of Dungeons and Dragons podcast. So this is when we say, my name's Micah. My name's Micah. All right, Your name's probably not Micah, but my name is Micah, and I'm. [00:00:19] Speaker D: Your Craig, and I. [00:00:21] Speaker C: This is Micah, and I am your Craig. What episode is this? [00:00:26] Speaker D: I got it done. [00:00:34] Speaker A: Which I'm gonna be in less than a month. [00:00:36] Speaker B: Happy birthday with me old. [00:00:41] Speaker C: Oh, I wasn't gonna say that. [00:00:43] Speaker D: I'm not gonna say that. [00:00:50] Speaker C: This is a podcast. [00:00:52] Speaker D: You know what language. [00:00:53] Speaker B: You had a stroke. [00:00:54] Speaker E: That's. They say the second letter first, so it's 4 and 20. Yeah. [00:01:13] Speaker C: Can I say it? Can I say the question? [00:01:15] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:01:16] Speaker C: Okay. This is a really good question. [00:01:19] Speaker F: So. [00:01:21] Speaker C: And I know. I know because Zach had the same thought, and Zach's brain is a lot smarter than my brain sometimes, because, hey, hey, this guy is really smart. [00:01:29] Speaker B: I don't know about that. [00:01:30] Speaker C: Sometimes you're really smart, and sometimes I'm really smart. So the question is, if your character had a dungeon, what would the dungeon be? A room in the dungeon. Room in the dungeon. That's more educated. Room in a dungeon. What would your dungeon be? [00:01:46] Speaker B: All right, and we'll start. [00:01:47] Speaker F: Who's our. [00:01:48] Speaker C: Who's our? [00:01:49] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Who's the dmnpc? [00:01:51] Speaker D: Madame Me. Score. [00:01:53] Speaker B: Oh, Jackie, the water goes in your mouth, not your eyes. Okay. [00:01:58] Speaker C: Yes, please, Madam B. [00:01:59] Speaker F: Score. [00:02:00] Speaker B: We'll start with Zab, which is to say Boz. Oh. [00:02:08] Speaker E: Boss would have a dungeon that would be, like, a chill place to hang out at and a clearly marked exit. But anytime you escape, there'd be, like, fake confetti. You know, like how everybody, like, at a certain restaurant's away. Hi, welcome to Chili's or whatever. When you walk in, it would be like, the reverse. Like, when they're like, congrats, you escaped. And then, like, everybody else is just, like, having a good time and really chill. [00:02:31] Speaker D: Awesome. [00:02:32] Speaker B: So his dungeon is a tavern. Good. [00:02:37] Speaker E: No, it's a dungeon. There are prisoners. There are prisoners. [00:02:40] Speaker A: Oh. [00:02:43] Speaker E: Prisoners. [00:02:44] Speaker B: All right, Greta. Or no. Excuse me. At Reg. No Aderg already. Okay, Abby is once again exercising her. [00:02:57] Speaker A: Powers to just say, no, I think I have mine. I think I have mine. What? War. [00:03:06] Speaker B: War. [00:03:07] Speaker A: Oh, Ro is war. [00:03:11] Speaker B: Backward. [00:03:12] Speaker A: I. I think Rose would be. And I'm stealing a little bit from our dm, but I think it would be something where it's, like a sound happening, and, like, you have to put the notes together. And like, maybe, like, maybe there's a sound or something like a frequency happening in the room. And in the room there would be, like five different instruments. So, like, you could use whichever one you're, like, proficient in. And it's really pretty. And it looks like there's red curtains. It looks like a really snazzy rehearsal room or something. It has, like a lute and a flute and like all these, you know, different, like, instruments. But there's like a weird frequency happening. And what it turns out to be is, like, it's all these notes being played in the wrong sequence. And it needs to be in the correct sequence to play. Like maybe it's like one of rose songs or something. [00:04:24] Speaker C: And that's so good. [00:04:26] Speaker A: And when you figure it out, like a door appears behind the curtain and you die. But it would be something like, musical like that. [00:04:40] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:04:40] Speaker E: Call it Curtain Call. [00:04:42] Speaker G: That's a cool concept. [00:04:43] Speaker D: Curtain Call. [00:04:45] Speaker B: That's a good name. Lando Gyarka. [00:04:49] Speaker C: You got it. Okay. Gyark. Okay, so. Because that's the name I was thinking of when you're reading other ones or saying other ones. [00:04:58] Speaker F: So my. [00:04:59] Speaker C: My room would be a big cave, right? And there would be like, like crystals. Crystals all over the room, right? All these crystals. And you had to. You had to lick each one to find the crystal candy. [00:05:17] Speaker A: When you find. [00:05:26] Speaker B: It's just an adventuring party working for hours, casting spells, using their skills, trying to pay and. And just. No, they. They get trapped there and die because it never occurred to anyone to lick the dungeon. And so they never pass, they never get out. And that's what defeats the party. And the. The campaign has to disband. They have to talk the DM down. It's tough. Tells everyone. Yeah, you just had to let a. [00:05:57] Speaker C: Note together, like a poem or like a riddle or something. [00:06:02] Speaker B: Like the only. [00:06:02] Speaker C: The only script written on the freedom. [00:06:05] Speaker B: The cat sat. [00:06:06] Speaker D: This is your freedom. It's funny. [00:06:12] Speaker B: The only. The only script on the wall says, catherine, please call me. [00:06:18] Speaker C: Four. And I like to think that Taylor Swift's like, worst song. I don't know what it is, but whatever someone thinks their worst song is, it's like playing on repeat. But it's Taylor's version, so it's okay. [00:06:31] Speaker B: All it's playing forever is just the. What's the not. Look what you made me do. Is that her? [00:06:38] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. No, that's perfect. It doesn't have to be a worst song. It's just, oh, look what you made me like, over and over and over and over. [00:06:45] Speaker B: Again. [00:06:46] Speaker C: And. [00:06:50] Speaker B: Aderg. Or not. Greta, Abby just texted us. Me brother. Locked out. One sec. Be so fast. [00:07:11] Speaker C: I think Abby wants to hear Madam's core, though. I think we should wait. [00:07:14] Speaker B: Yeah, I'm just gonna go ahead. Do Metami score. So the listener's not left in silence. Mad. I mean, Madame Scores room would be horrible, right? Yeah, it would just have to be awful. Yeah. I've got a couple ideas so bad I wouldn't do them to players. I think one of the things that Madame Meescor would do. I think. I think a possible Madame Score. I'll pick. I'll pick the lesser of the evils I can come up with. I think the room that Madame Eskor would utilize would be. It would have a scale on one side. And you know what? Here's a little taste of my TM engineering. If I had a different moral compass. So there'd be a scale with a cage, and the cage would be some sort of an incredibly durable metal that would probably have, like, glyph of wardings on it, where certain tamperings. Because you can set a condition to glyph of warding. So, like, trying to check it for traps or like, trying to damage it would set it off. So it would damage you. And there would be, like, an adamantine key. And on the other side of the leather of the. Of the level would be weighed higher, and it would have an enchantment to where only organic material could pass through or something maybe like an electromagnetic field. And you could set a couple other conditional enchantments to make sure that it happened the way you wanted. And in the middle of the scales would be a knife. And the key would be this. This really, really heavy key to a door on the other side of the room. Like, a key that's a couple pounds. And the only inscription in the room would say, you gotta leave lighter than you came. And you would just have to cut off enough of you to weigh the equivalent of the key to move it past the bars to pick it up and just go open the door. [00:09:20] Speaker D: Yikes. [00:09:22] Speaker F: Wow. [00:09:23] Speaker C: Did you come up with that? [00:09:25] Speaker A: That's crazy. But it's so me score. I love it, you know? [00:09:32] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. [00:09:34] Speaker B: Anywho. What's. [00:09:37] Speaker A: Wow. [00:09:40] Speaker D: Greta would have two. Or there's like, a happy version. The happy version. I think, like, a lot like the room that. That Greta was just in, like you. I mean, that's, like, perfect for Greta. Honestly. It was, like, peaceful and naturey, and you solve some riddles and you get some goodies. That's just incredible. I don't know if my goodies are haunted or evil, but hers wouldn't be. That would be the happy version. [00:10:07] Speaker B: I'll confirm just the old very clearly positive thing. And you left the three complicated, dubious items, so nice. [00:10:18] Speaker D: Well, Greta's would all be, like, little trinkets. Nothing dubious. But she would have an evil version. There would be an evil one for, like, an evil dungeon. And this is based off of a scene that I read in a book. But there's, like, you have a. There's a pet tiger, like, a very friendly, like, beautiful Bengal tiger in the room. And the tiger has, like, scars on it from being burned. And you know that it was escaped. It escaped from a burning building. And you either have to, like, there's. The tiger wants to chase after, like, a pregnant mouse with lots of little babies. And in order to stop the tiger from chasing after the babies, you have to light a stick on fire and re traumatize the tiger to keep it away from the babies and the mama mouse. And that would be the dungeon. [00:11:18] Speaker B: How was that worse than mine? So this is because it has animal abuse and not. Yeah, just probably. [00:11:29] Speaker C: I don't know. [00:11:34] Speaker B: You know, you don't have to keep going. So. [00:11:40] Speaker A: Cool. [00:11:41] Speaker B: This is the part where I say, for the note taking nerds, but Abby ran away. Oh, she can still hear me. [00:11:48] Speaker A: Okay, that was so creepy because she's not in. She's not in the shot, you guys. She's not on screen. [00:11:55] Speaker B: Okay, for the note taking nerds, this is episode 129 of the Accidental Adventures. Wow. It's a level 12 adventure. The date is 3488pb. Something. The episode title. I'm giving Abby all the time in the world. She can have to get back to her desk. The episode title for episode 129 is who are you, Boz? Oh, no. [00:12:17] Speaker A: What, Boss? Who are you? Oh, my gosh. [00:12:21] Speaker E: That's a trick question. The answer is in the question. [00:12:27] Speaker B: Nice try. You said my name already, stupid. [00:12:31] Speaker A: Is this gonna be one of those situations where boss turns out to be Zorgrim and the campaign ends or. [00:12:37] Speaker F: Oh, no. [00:12:38] Speaker E: You know, you said you wouldn't say anything, Jackie. [00:12:41] Speaker A: I'm sorry. That's right. Landon told me. [00:12:44] Speaker B: I don't think I can think of anything more dastardly than giving Landon and his mechanical mind a step walk for an evil deity and just letting him wreak havoc on everyone. That sounds like the darkest timeline. Almost re. Traumatizing the target. The tiger. Dark. So, anywho. Well, it doesn't sound like it anymore. [00:13:12] Speaker D: So the only part that made me. [00:13:14] Speaker B: Cry, man, Garfield's writing style has changed. So the party. [00:13:22] Speaker E: Thank you. [00:13:22] Speaker B: Thank you. I didn't know how to bring us back from that. But here we are, boss. Freshly healed. You are the first to stand in the broad cross chamber. It's like a big honors. It's like. It's like. It's like a chamber that's a long. Like a. Like an X. A broad hallway with tall walls. The ceilings vault upward in high arches, ribbed that come up to large cross sections in the middle. And it feels like there's natural light pouring in from down the halls, but not from any clear source. In the middle of the space is bare. And at the end of the halls there appears to be room. You could go to the left or the right and you could see them in each way. They're not long. Maybe 30ft long total. And down the length of each scattering away from where you are are coins with other objects strewn among them. You see around everything, all the stone and floor is very white and everywhere is sparkling silver. You're surrounded by silver and baaz. You go halfway to take a step and then falling all around you are the rest of the fun guys who all in the strange magics of this place seem to emerge though they were in their rooms for very different spans of time, all at once. In the tower crown, the final level of the tower. [00:15:21] Speaker D: Is there anything in the room or is it just empty? [00:15:24] Speaker B: There's coins. So the things that I described in the space are there, as well as all the items strung among them which you may investigate. [00:15:32] Speaker D: I would like to go investigate. [00:15:33] Speaker B: To be clear, you guys are at this big T intersection of a large space. And you are surround. Surrounded by silver coins. Surrounded by them, among which are strewn. [00:15:43] Speaker A: Different objects and how many. You said there are corridors, right? [00:15:50] Speaker B: It's like. It's like a cross section of hallways. [00:15:52] Speaker A: Oh, okay. [00:15:53] Speaker B: But not like, oh, what's all the way down there? Each one's like 30ft long. [00:15:58] Speaker A: Okay, gotcha. [00:15:59] Speaker B: As if the space made from their cross section is kind of the room. And then at the edge of each, you can see that they kind of wrap around to each other. [00:16:07] Speaker A: Yes, but there's like no doors. [00:16:12] Speaker B: Nickel. What's up, Nickel. [00:16:14] Speaker F: Okay, so it's all of us, right? Like all of us are back here. [00:16:18] Speaker B: Everyone except Craig. Oh, no. Excuse me. I checked my notes. Craig as well. Yeah. Everyone. [00:16:24] Speaker F: Okay, so can I go up and Abby did not. [00:16:30] Speaker B: Okay. Craig doing what only Craig can immediately the first of all of you to walk up in his full plate, bends down, picks up a coin, puts it in his mouth. Craig, is your bite silver? [00:16:43] Speaker F: Okay. [00:16:44] Speaker A: Okay, guys. [00:16:45] Speaker F: It didn't kill me. [00:16:47] Speaker B: So Craig walks in a piece of a coin, goes. I'm not dead. [00:16:53] Speaker A: Guys. Guys. [00:16:56] Speaker D: Yes? [00:16:58] Speaker A: Did any of yalls. I. I just. I know it looks obviously like we have a little bit more to go, but I'm. I just wanted to be frank about what was just in the room I was in. Did anyone else see me score? [00:17:21] Speaker F: No. No. Only in my nightmares. [00:17:25] Speaker A: Well, I. I'd never seen her. I think it was her I put together. It was probably her, but I. I kind of shot her. [00:17:32] Speaker B: The. [00:17:32] Speaker A: Through a mirror with an arrow? [00:17:35] Speaker F: Yes. [00:17:35] Speaker A: Yes. I don't think she liked it. It was like an arrow with, like, green glass, and it was misty, and it looked like it hurt, and then it. And then the mirror stopped showing what happened? But I just thought I should. I don't know. I doubt she's dead. I don't think I could kill her with just an arrow, but I just thought I should bring that up to let you guys know because I. It was kind of weird, and I don't know if I chose correctly. I had to choose. She see you to shoot? [00:18:07] Speaker E: Seems like the maker moves in mysterious ways. [00:18:11] Speaker A: Maybe. I mean, it was either her or I shoot myself or random people in a tavern and stuff. [00:18:17] Speaker B: So, no. [00:18:18] Speaker E: Boss is smiling very large, but he's not saying much. [00:18:22] Speaker A: Rolls her eye. Well, I just wanted to be. I just wanted to tell you guys before, you know, if something happened to me before we get out of the dungeon, just so you guys know, I. I don't know what exactly happened, but she. I don't think she liked it. It wasn't pleasant. [00:18:40] Speaker E: Well, we have this. We could call and ask. [00:18:43] Speaker A: I don't really want to do that. I don't even know he knows for sure it was me that did it. But he probably doesn't say that if we are. [00:18:53] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:18:53] Speaker A: Yeah, but I don't know if she knows that I'm the one that shot an arrow for a long time, thousands of miles away. [00:18:59] Speaker E: Necklace. I doubt that she doesn't know who Roe is. [00:19:03] Speaker A: Yeah, no, I don't. I don't doubt that. I'm just saying I don't know if. [00:19:07] Speaker D: She knew that it was. [00:19:08] Speaker E: I mean, as they're all discussing that, I want to reach down and start looking at trinkets. [00:19:13] Speaker D: Okay. I see him do this, and I also do this. [00:19:17] Speaker B: Boss moving faster than Greta can because you said it first. Why don't you give me an investigation check? [00:19:23] Speaker D: I literally tried to say I was. [00:19:25] Speaker E: In the room first and I didn't get a chance. That's all I'm saying. [00:19:28] Speaker A: He was in the room where. [00:19:29] Speaker B: Greta, you can also make me an investigation check. [00:19:32] Speaker E: That's Winnie. [00:19:36] Speaker B: And Abby's mad about that. [00:19:40] Speaker E: That is a 21. [00:19:41] Speaker B: I had to roll real good for that one. [00:19:45] Speaker D: Not gonna get trinket honor. [00:19:49] Speaker A: Can I do. [00:19:51] Speaker D: I'm gonna have to go and tell. [00:19:52] Speaker A: Myself, can I do a perception check. [00:19:56] Speaker B: Of, like, give me, give me a Per capkin kick. [00:20:00] Speaker E: My Nat 20. [00:20:02] Speaker D: Got a 21 too. Landon. [00:20:05] Speaker E: I got a Nat 20. [00:20:08] Speaker B: What are you making a perception check for, bro? [00:20:12] Speaker A: Does this, like, look like a treasure room? Like, does this look like the room at the end of. [00:20:20] Speaker B: Yes, Give me, give me, give me an investigation check for that. [00:20:25] Speaker A: I'm gonna roll. You're gonna say something mean. [00:20:28] Speaker B: No, no, I will let you roll in. There is a DC. [00:20:30] Speaker A: I got a Nat 20. [00:20:33] Speaker B: Okay, what's your total? [00:20:35] Speaker A: What is it? Investigation. [00:20:37] Speaker B: Yeah, investigation. [00:20:38] Speaker A: A25. [00:20:40] Speaker B: Okay. With a nat20. Whoa. It was DC2. Yeah. This looks like a treasure room at the end of a dungeon. And now, hold on, hold on. There are things to put together. If you got a NAT one, you could fail this. What leads you to that conclusion is all the treasure and the room it's in. Craig, are you doing anything as Ro. As Ro sifts through coin and goes. I knew it. [00:21:11] Speaker F: I love that. I'm never going to get tired of this. You can trust me. [00:21:15] Speaker A: Hey, bump bridge. [00:21:19] Speaker B: I let her make the roll and it had a dc. I didn't do that thing where I cut her off. [00:21:24] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:21:25] Speaker B: Craig, are you doing anything in the meantime? [00:21:28] Speaker F: Okay, how? Like, are there like piles of gold or is it like piles of silver? [00:21:33] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a treasure room. [00:21:34] Speaker B: Piles of silver. [00:21:36] Speaker A: How did you not know that? [00:21:38] Speaker F: I. I want to start. Okay. I have a new goal. I'm going to dig through the piles and see if there's anything, like, hidden. Can I roll, like, in investigation for, like, things within the piles? [00:21:49] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Make an investigation. So. And okay, three of you all are rolling investigation, which is completely fine. Boz, with a 21, what is it that you're looking for? [00:21:57] Speaker E: I'm looking for the shiny treasure. [00:22:00] Speaker B: Okay. Cool looking trinkets. Greta, what is it you're looking for? [00:22:03] Speaker E: Magical ones. [00:22:05] Speaker D: Also cool looking magical trinkets. But specifically, they don't have to be magical, but magic would be cool. [00:22:13] Speaker E: I would be looking anything that looked like yellick to noth related like, like chaos guy. [00:22:18] Speaker F: Specifically, I'm looking for things that look. [00:22:22] Speaker D: Like my flower or that Bob's mechanical bug that he has. [00:22:26] Speaker E: Oh, that's nice. [00:22:27] Speaker B: Craig, what'd you get? [00:22:30] Speaker F: I used my inspiration because I wasn't. [00:22:32] Speaker C: Happy with my other. [00:22:34] Speaker B: Okay. That's how inspiration works. What'd you get on your roll? [00:22:37] Speaker F: I got a 15. [00:22:40] Speaker B: Okay. What are you looking for? [00:22:44] Speaker F: Anything that is not supposed to like, not gold within the piles. Like, I'm just sifting through piles just to find other objects. [00:22:52] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. Hey, that is a very meaningful, meaningful description. Ro, we'll get to you in a second. Keep surmising that this treasure is in fact treasure and you're doing that as everyone else is searching. And then we'll come back to you. So, boss, to start with, you with your 21 looking for. All right. With your role to look for that which appears to be like a magical treasure there. Okay. So there, there are piles of silver. There are things that very clearly stick out here. At an instant's glance, anyone could see. There are wooden carvings that stick out of the silver. Immediately. Anyone could see. You can also with just a little bit of searching, it's not rife among the place, but it looks like there might be some gemstones scattered among here worth looking for. Boz, as you sift around specifically looking for magical items which you said you were looking for for. Greta was looking for gem related items. Craig was looking for other different treasures. Boz, you got a 21. So you are first to find a strange little ring. A ring of. It's like a ring made out of banded rings of metal. Like five different metal kinds wrapped around each other making one thick ring. It's got a certain hum in the hand that after all your experience with items strike you, it might be magical. You find that little funky ring. Okay, yeah. Now it takes a while to find it hidden among all the coins. I mean, you're sifting and searching. This is not like, okay, I look for 20 seconds over here. This is what everyone's doing for the next half hour. Greta, as you search for that as which is shiny like your trinket among all of the piles of silver you find. Having passed the dc, the following. Please be ready to take notes. And remember, the most helpful form of note shaking is always the one. I mean, you can put it on paper, but either please initially put it in discord or copy it to paper and then to discord, because then everyone can have it. Now I'm a paper note taker. So I understand if you want to start there, but please make sure it gets to Discord at some point. Greta, wait. [00:25:26] Speaker D: Where do you want me to put this? [00:25:29] Speaker B: Wherever you want to, as long as it ends up. Oh, you mean in Discord. Excuse me. [00:25:34] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:25:35] Speaker B: You know, honestly, at the level you guys are at, there should probably be a party inventory channel in the place of one of the other channels we have. But you could certainly put it in either a character channel or the lore and reference. [00:25:48] Speaker D: I'll put it in Greta's channel for now, and then I can give it to whoever wants to. [00:25:52] Speaker G: Absolutely. [00:25:53] Speaker B: It probably makes sense at the level you guys are at just to have a party inventory channel, but live your dreams. [00:25:58] Speaker D: I would do that, but like permission. [00:26:04] Speaker B: Greta, you find. And honestly, you should have them probably at this point. I don't know why anyone here doesn't. But anywho, you find three diamonds, two smaller, one larger. You could probably have Craig appraise those, given his skill set. You find three diamonds, and when I say small and large, the small are probably like, like the diameter of a pencils eraser. And then the larger is like kind of like that diameter, and then half the height of a full eraser. That is not a necessary note to take. You can just write two small, one large. But that's just a visual for you. You also find a couple emeralds, a couple more. They're sizable. Remember when we talk about gemstones, sizable is not like that. That's a small fortune in your hand. It's like, you know, like a little gemstone. You also find a black pearl. [00:27:16] Speaker D: Cool. [00:27:17] Speaker B: Mm. And the fourth gemstone set you find, you're searching for a long time. Holy crap. There's a lot of silver in here. So much silver. The it's not a huge room, but it's chock full of silver. The other gemstone you find is a ruby. A golf ball sized ruby. [00:27:41] Speaker D: Oh. [00:27:43] Speaker B: Or maybe like a small half a golf ball, but it's huge. Half golf ball sized ruby, Real big again. You feel like Craig would probably be able to appraise those really well. [00:27:54] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:27:58] Speaker B: Now before I get to Craig, promise. I'm coming. New buddy with concurrent 21s and an overlap in the items you all are searching for. In all of this scouring and searching, Boz and Greta find an item at the same time. It'd be a meet cute if they weren't friends who aren't attracted to each other and have known each other for a long time. Sifting through coins, you guys both spot at the same Time. And rush over at a similar time to a smooth, pale green ovoid stone. Feels a little hollow in the middle. Covered in thousands of fenestrations. Oh, you guys know what these are? Now? These are teleportation stones. It is an unmarked teleportation stone. You guys have seen two of these now and you know how to identify them visually? [00:28:50] Speaker D: Cool. Awesome. [00:28:52] Speaker B: You don't know where it leads to. It's an unmarked teleportation stone. So if you crushed it, you'd find out. But yeah, I don't know who grabs that. But you find it at about the same time because it is both a gemstone and a magical item. It's. [00:29:06] Speaker E: Hello. Get over here. Why don't you take this? [00:29:09] Speaker B: Oh, hey, I'm tello. I'm here. Whoa. And he picks it up. [00:29:13] Speaker E: You should take it. [00:29:14] Speaker B: Oh, rock. What is it? [00:29:16] Speaker E: And then give it to Greta. [00:29:18] Speaker B: Okay. [00:29:19] Speaker A: Here you go. [00:29:20] Speaker D: Thank you. [00:29:24] Speaker A: Do you have to cast with those or they're just like. They're a magic item that can like. [00:29:30] Speaker B: You crush the stone. You teleport. [00:29:33] Speaker A: If I do. If do I like. Am I a skilled enough Certainly. Try to know that if I cast identify on it, if it'll tell me where it goes. [00:29:45] Speaker B: Give me an arcana check. [00:29:47] Speaker D: Can I assist? [00:29:48] Speaker A: Because I like I said I got a Nat 20. [00:29:52] Speaker D: Okay. [00:29:52] Speaker B: Okay. What's your total? [00:29:56] Speaker A: 33. [00:29:57] Speaker B: Okay. Tying the all time record for this campaign or no, I think our Highest is a 34. Getting another second place. You pass the DC of five. Remembering that one of the main signature spells you cast does in fact identify what magical items do. So you do know that identify would tell you important key information about the stone because that is what identify does. Anytime. Bro. Him. Hey, but look at that stats, dude. You're going way up. I love it. [00:30:32] Speaker A: If only I can roll this well on things when I really need it. [00:30:35] Speaker B: I know, I know. Now we're not done because other people have asked. Craig, you go looking around the space. [00:30:47] Speaker F: Can I make a. Wait, wait. Can I make a note? Hold on. I think I missed the information that said that there were trinkets and stuff like within the silver. I thought it was just silver. I thought there were trinkets like on the walls or something. I didn't realize they were mixed with like the. [00:31:02] Speaker B: It's all mixed together. [00:31:04] Speaker F: Okay. So I feel like my searching is now very unnecessary because guess what? It's right in front of my eyes. If I could adjust it to saying like looking for specific items that might look like. [00:31:19] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:31:20] Speaker F: Exit items not Just like magic, but like exit, like keys or like. [00:31:26] Speaker B: Oh, okay, okay. Items essential to leave. Craig, you look during this whole time and you do not find any, do you? Are you looking for anything else? As you search secondarily and then row, I promise I'll give you the opportunity to ask. [00:31:46] Speaker F: I'm looking for a weapon. Weaponry. [00:31:49] Speaker B: Okay. Well, are you ever in? [00:31:53] Speaker G: It's. [00:31:54] Speaker B: You rolled a 15. You would have needed a 5 or a 2 because you immediately spot the only weapon in the space that stands out. It stands out because of its size. It stands out because of the angle it protrudes from the coins. It stands out because it's more lavish than the pile of coins Craig, you witness. You find quickly a beautiful weapon. In fact, it's so brilliant, given the investigation checks of your allies, everyone else probably saw it first and just went, that's for Craig. And moved on. It is wrought almost entirely from a powerful steel polymer, all of which has been magically plated in perfect gold, causing the weapon to shine brilliantly at every angle. Its two foot long handle is a smooth octagonal cylinder formed from overlapping of its eight ridges which spiral softly down the length of the weapon. Its heavy squared head is relatively thick at its meeting with the elegant shaft, but tapers to a harrowing edge at its sharp blade, which is tall and silver plated at its zenith. Across either face of the weapon's blade lies an ornate pattern of concentric jewels. First an octagon of lapis lazuli, then one smaller of emerald, then of ruby, until a centermost stone large enough to be the center of either side of the head's blade of purple smooth sapphire shines with captivating reflection opposite the blade. Maya, don't hit your sister for no reason. She's literally just trying to snuggle. Stop. Opposite to the blade, the head of the weapon is a silver sculpture of a stern dwarven warrior's face, angular and harsh. The intertwining locks of his thick beard string down the weapon's shaft until they become not outward protruding sculptures, but inlaid carvings. You find a gold and silver plated battle axe covered in gemstones with a dwarven warrior's face carved on one side. [00:33:57] Speaker A: Wow. [00:33:58] Speaker F: As. Do you think there are cameras? [00:34:01] Speaker B: Is. [00:34:02] Speaker F: How? How? Tell me how. [00:34:05] Speaker B: Knowing what a camera is. [00:34:06] Speaker F: Hey, do y'all think that there's. What's it called? Wait, wait, what's it called when someone can spy on you? What is it called again? [00:34:12] Speaker B: A breeze comes by in the completely sealed room and says the big mic. [00:34:17] Speaker F: No, what's it called when? Like. Like what Madam Escor did to us. Like, what was that? [00:34:21] Speaker B: Scrying. [00:34:22] Speaker F: Scry. You think someone's scrying on us? Because tell me how. There's a dwarven sword right here. [00:34:29] Speaker B: Ax. As. As Craig holds up the axe. [00:34:31] Speaker F: Dwarven axe. Because I know what this is. [00:34:34] Speaker B: Craig dags on chili. [00:34:35] Speaker F: I'm. I'm Craig, not Micah. I can recognize my weapons. So how is there, like, an axe? Dude, this is crazy. Can I keep it? What happens if I keep it? [00:34:50] Speaker A: I think if you. [00:34:52] Speaker B: Craig is saying everyone else in the party rifling through the treasures. [00:34:56] Speaker A: If you can carry it, you can keep it, Craig. Because I thought about it long and hard, and this is a treasure room. [00:35:09] Speaker F: You know, growing up, my mom always used to tell me, I already have inspiration. [00:35:15] Speaker E: Great, I'll take it. [00:35:18] Speaker F: My mom always told me, growing up that if I could carry the rocks that I found, that I could keep them. So this I can get. I can do that. But it's gorgeous. Wait, I want to see it. [00:35:33] Speaker A: It looks like Thanos listeners. It looks like Thanos's glove, but in an axe form. [00:35:41] Speaker B: Bro. [00:35:42] Speaker F: Bro. That's so sick. My gosh. Hey, if I keep it, can you send me the. Is it magical? [00:35:52] Speaker B: Craig says aloud in the air. [00:35:55] Speaker F: I'm saying it to you. [00:35:57] Speaker B: You could certainly find out. [00:36:00] Speaker A: Craig, would you like. [00:36:01] Speaker F: I think I'll just do an arcana check. [00:36:06] Speaker B: Are you proficient in arcana? You could certainly. [00:36:13] Speaker F: Hey, hey, Greta, Greta, Greta, Greta, come here, come here, come here. Greta, you seem like you have strengths that I don't have. I do have special. [00:36:24] Speaker D: She flexes. [00:36:26] Speaker F: Is this. [00:36:27] Speaker D: Yeah, let me check. [00:36:28] Speaker F: You should definitely join me in. [00:36:30] Speaker D: Oh, baby. [00:36:31] Speaker F: In the mornings. I'm just saying. [00:36:34] Speaker D: Greta Castle, baby, she freak. Because she doesn't want to disappoint Craig. Oh, that's okay. [00:36:43] Speaker F: What is it? [00:36:45] Speaker D: I got. [00:36:45] Speaker F: Is it. What is it dm. [00:36:48] Speaker D: What is it? [00:36:50] Speaker B: Greta, you look very carefully. You follow its inscriptions and see where its make reflects conduits of magical construction. You do think it's magical. And then you think, man, if somebody had the identify spell, they could probably do something about this. [00:37:08] Speaker D: I have the identify spell. [00:37:10] Speaker B: You took it. Oh, it's a part of your subclass, isn't it? [00:37:14] Speaker D: Okay, I cast identify. [00:37:15] Speaker B: Cast identify. Greta. [00:37:17] Speaker D: Let me. Yeah, I do. I just have one last spell slot. [00:37:21] Speaker B: Jackie's face. Okay. [00:37:24] Speaker A: No, no, that's just my face. I'm sorry. [00:37:27] Speaker B: As you cast identify, you identify. Califastis will break so creag. I'm going to type that in your channel? [00:37:41] Speaker F: Heck yeah. That's the result that I wanted. Thank you. I'm so glad I could take. I'm so glad I can navigate this social interaction. [00:37:53] Speaker B: Califastos will breaker. This is a magical ax that gives a plus one to crits. [00:38:04] Speaker D: Wow, what is that? [00:38:07] Speaker B: If you get a crit, you do one more damage. [00:38:11] Speaker F: I get 20 and go 21. [00:38:12] Speaker B: If you get. If you get an at 20, you do one more damage. [00:38:17] Speaker F: One more damage? Heck yeah. That's cool. I have to attune to it. [00:38:24] Speaker B: And you hum. Do it and you. You learn this information. You hold it in your hands. Okay, well, it's gorgeous, but Craig, are you putting it away? Are you putting it down? It's. It's clearly not particularly. It is very lightly magical, though. It is gorgeous. [00:38:47] Speaker D: I turn to Craig and I say, craig, this is a gorgeous hammer. [00:38:52] Speaker B: Axe. [00:38:54] Speaker D: Gorgeous. [00:38:54] Speaker B: What an axe is. Holy crap. [00:38:57] Speaker D: This is a gorgeous hammer. It is not very magical, but it is a little magical. [00:39:04] Speaker G: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let's talk this out. [00:39:09] Speaker B: All of you. Hear audibly from the axe. [00:39:13] Speaker F: Oh my gosh, Zach, I'm so glad you said that, because I was about to give it a little kiss and then put it down. [00:39:19] Speaker B: I feel of the mighty hands of a great warrior. [00:39:25] Speaker D: I hand print the axe. [00:39:26] Speaker B: Throw me away, please. [00:39:28] Speaker D: For you, Craig. This is for you. [00:39:31] Speaker B: She's talking over me, but please return me to the hands of the dwarf who would have wielded me. [00:39:39] Speaker F: I take it back and I go, oh, hey, buddy, what's your name? [00:39:44] Speaker B: Hello. [00:39:45] Speaker G: And who, mighty warrior, are you? [00:39:49] Speaker A: I. [00:39:49] Speaker F: My name is Craig. Means rock. [00:39:53] Speaker G: And Craig, what a mighty Dwarven name. [00:39:56] Speaker B: I am Kaf Astos, and it's literally the name of the weapon in chat, but with an apostrophe between the ph and as cross. Craig, you recognize that? As Dwarven naming convention, where the first and last name are connected together, doing apostrophe, as it has been with Sper and all of the other Dwarven, or the vast majority of Dwarven throughout the campaign for every character except Craig. And so Kalaf continues, and he says. [00:40:26] Speaker G: I am the spirit of a noble Dwarven lord. Been trapped long in this weapon, and I've been stuck here a very long time. And I think you should probably take me with you. We could change the world. [00:40:47] Speaker F: Or. [00:40:48] Speaker G: Or slay foul foes or. [00:40:50] Speaker A: And we all hear this out loud, like it's. Everyone can hear. [00:40:56] Speaker B: No, no, it's in your heads, but it's in all of Your heads simultaneously. [00:41:01] Speaker D: Love a good collective. [00:41:03] Speaker A: So it's not loud, like. [00:41:04] Speaker B: Yes, what's up, Nickel? Raise your hand and ask your question. [00:41:08] Speaker F: I cast detect good and evil. [00:41:15] Speaker B: Spell. Slot Craig is. It pulses outward and your eyes scan over everything. Man, this would have been a slick moment if this was an evil cursed item. But it's not. You don't detect the present of anything infernal or insidious. Looks like this is just a dude trapped in an ax. [00:41:36] Speaker A: It's a dude in an axe. [00:41:38] Speaker B: That's what he said moments ago and. [00:41:41] Speaker A: I'm sorry. I was reading stuff. [00:41:43] Speaker B: That's okay. You better not be sick. We'll get so mad. [00:41:49] Speaker F: Hey. Well, wait, hold on. I forgot his name, but that's really. [00:41:54] Speaker B: I understand. [00:41:55] Speaker G: We've just. [00:41:56] Speaker B: We've only just met Lord Kalaf. King Kalaf, if you like. I don't remember. Perhaps. [00:42:01] Speaker G: Prince. [00:42:03] Speaker F: Are you the only one here that talks? Or do you have friends like you? The other. Other people's trapped. [00:42:10] Speaker G: There are others who talk here? [00:42:13] Speaker B: Let me tell you. They have really given me the cold. [00:42:16] Speaker G: Shoulder for so long. It's just. [00:42:19] Speaker F: Oh, man. [00:42:22] Speaker B: But, mighty warrior, I see from your lordly plate that you are sure likely. [00:42:31] Speaker G: To carry such a magical, powerful item. You see, Craig. It was Craig. You see, Sir Craig, we. I am. I help you strike truer at your foes. When you find the truest of strikes, I make it truer. And there's a division between destiny and presence that you and I shall tread together as we split the horizon to the future and present. Let us stride forward in battle. You carry me on and. And, and, and. [00:43:10] Speaker B: And we could leave here together. [00:43:12] Speaker G: Sounds good to me. [00:43:14] Speaker F: Hey, so you know that thing that you just said? That like whole thing where you're like, trying to sell me on something, so the thing is about me is that you don't have to sell me because I just do. I'm okay. You can come with me. I'm fine. Like, cool, buddy. [00:43:26] Speaker B: Great. [00:43:28] Speaker F: Right? Yeah. I mean, unless you're gonna like. [00:43:34] Speaker B: I'm so glad to be here. So long. [00:43:36] Speaker F: I like friends. [00:43:38] Speaker B: I've been here so long. [00:43:40] Speaker F: Why? [00:43:40] Speaker A: How long have you been here? How long have you been here? [00:43:44] Speaker B: A really long time. I don't know. There's no day in me, but I. [00:43:48] Speaker G: Did hear a lot. [00:43:50] Speaker A: Where are you from? [00:43:51] Speaker F: You're so pretty. [00:43:53] Speaker B: Thank you. I don't know. I've been here. [00:43:58] Speaker F: Why are you in an actual. [00:44:00] Speaker B: I don't know that either. I've. It's really. I've been here a long time. [00:44:05] Speaker G: I Don't. [00:44:06] Speaker F: I don't get you out? [00:44:08] Speaker G: I don't know. [00:44:09] Speaker A: Have you ever fought with any other warriors? [00:44:11] Speaker B: Oh, not long. [00:44:15] Speaker A: Or would Craig be your first to weave? [00:44:18] Speaker B: Well, no, many have wielded me, turns out. Okay, I'm gonna level with you. I might have died. Or, no, my wielders might have died. [00:44:32] Speaker G: Two. Oh, three more. It's. [00:44:37] Speaker B: I've had some unsuccessful wielders, but look at this mighty crew. I mean, I can't really see anyone. I'm gonna ask you can't see kind of sense, Craig, but. But I had one successful wielder for a year or so who then found a more lethal weapon. But he just didn't understand my battle expertise and what I could lend him in that arena with my worldly mind. [00:45:07] Speaker G: Yep. [00:45:07] Speaker A: Yeah. Well, nice. Nice to meet you. [00:45:11] Speaker B: Thank you. Thank you. It's good to meet you all. So you're taking me. Is that it, Craig? [00:45:16] Speaker F: Yeah. Do you know how to get out? [00:45:19] Speaker B: Oh, let's not focus on that. Let's focus on the beautiful make of my cage. I don't. I don't. But let that not taint the. The elation we have of being united together. [00:45:34] Speaker F: I have a question. [00:45:37] Speaker B: I have nothing but answers. [00:45:39] Speaker F: So, okay, let me get this right. You want me to, like, take you away and, like, be friends and cut the horizon? Seat in this. In this room? There's no horizon to cut. And also, you would just be stuck here forever. So, like, if you could help me get out, like. No, no, no, no. [00:45:55] Speaker B: Please don't put me down. Please don't put me down. [00:45:57] Speaker F: No, I'll take you. [00:45:58] Speaker B: I'm sure we could figure it out together. Ooh. Is there a door, perhaps, maybe, or something. [00:46:09] Speaker F: Do you know that you've been here for a long time? [00:46:12] Speaker B: I'm an axe. [00:46:14] Speaker F: That's right. Oh, I forgot. [00:46:16] Speaker A: Okay. [00:46:18] Speaker F: Okay, here's what's gonna happen. Just to figure out what's gonna happen. When I do this, I'm gonna set you down and pick you back up, okay? [00:46:26] Speaker G: Okay. [00:46:27] Speaker F: Okay. You gotta trust me. This is like trust fall, you know? Do you ever play that when you were alive? Trust fall. [00:46:33] Speaker B: I'm so alone. [00:46:35] Speaker F: Okay. Okay. I put him down. The voice stops and then I pick him up. [00:46:44] Speaker B: I've been here so long. [00:46:47] Speaker F: I know. I know. We're gonna get you out. We're gonna get you out. Don't do it to me. [00:46:50] Speaker B: No. [00:46:51] Speaker F: Don't have to cry. You don't even have any tears. [00:46:54] Speaker A: Hey. Hey, dude, can you hear us? When Craig puts you down, I puts. [00:46:59] Speaker E: A long look at his ring and is like, is it worth it? [00:47:04] Speaker B: You put it. You put it on. Oh, gosh, boss. It's been a long time. [00:47:09] Speaker E: My horse, my faithful steed. [00:47:14] Speaker B: What did you say, Craig? I don't remember anymore. [00:47:20] Speaker F: Just so he doesn't have to cry because he doesn't need tear ducts. But also that, like, did anything happen? Damn, boy. [00:47:31] Speaker B: When you picked it up and when. [00:47:35] Speaker F: She put it down, like, set it down. [00:47:37] Speaker B: Yeah. You quit hearing it. [00:47:39] Speaker A: Okay, but did they quit hearing us? Okay. [00:47:50] Speaker F: Oh, guys, Guys. What is it? Why do they always single me out? I feel like I'm always singled out in this scenario where they don't want to go. [00:48:00] Speaker A: Ro tries to do that guy's voice. He goes, cuz you're a warrior, Craig. [00:48:06] Speaker D: Oh, my God. [00:48:09] Speaker B: Is that what I sound like? [00:48:10] Speaker A: I thought you put it down, Craig. Craig, put the ax in. [00:48:17] Speaker F: Why? [00:48:19] Speaker B: Craig says, gesticulating with the axe in his hand over the pile of treasure. [00:48:25] Speaker F: This is my new friend clothes. [00:48:27] Speaker A: Okay. [00:48:29] Speaker D: Okay. Craig. [00:48:31] Speaker F: He'S a little confusing. He's kind of got a complex where he, like, he wants to go, but doesn't want us to go. [00:48:39] Speaker B: I'm sorry. [00:48:41] Speaker G: I. [00:48:42] Speaker B: Okay. Someone brought me here a long time ago and found a weapon they liked better and they left me. [00:48:48] Speaker A: And that's awful, man. I'm really sorry of. [00:48:54] Speaker B: Truth. [00:48:56] Speaker F: It's okay. I still love you. [00:48:57] Speaker A: Sucks. [00:48:58] Speaker D: It's okay. Truth. [00:49:00] Speaker B: Wow, that's moving really fast. I mean, you seem like a warrior. [00:49:03] Speaker F: There are. Okay. English does not represent love. [00:49:06] Speaker B: Well. [00:49:06] Speaker F: Okay. There's so many different types that I. [00:49:09] Speaker A: Love you to me, Craig. Like after day three on the boat. [00:49:13] Speaker G: Okay, what's English? [00:49:14] Speaker F: I mean, really common. [00:49:16] Speaker B: I'm common. [00:49:20] Speaker F: English is the equivalent of ComEd. Anyways. Okay, guys, how do we get out? [00:49:28] Speaker B: Is anyone else doing anything? As Craig has this entire ring on. [00:49:33] Speaker E: I put my ring on and I think about it real quick. [00:49:36] Speaker B: Okay. Do you have an open attunement slot? [00:49:39] Speaker E: I. I believe I do. Let me see what I'm attuned to. [00:49:42] Speaker B: If you want to verify really quickly, let me know when you know. Greta, do you have. What are you doing? [00:49:49] Speaker D: I want to pick up one of those little wooden statues and look at it. [00:49:53] Speaker A: You were going to say eat it. [00:49:55] Speaker B: There, and I want to. There are three you find in the space if you're searching for a while. One is handheld, about 6 inches across. It is beautiful. A level of realism that's disconcerting. You've just never really run across anyone this skilled in wood carving. It's. It's just gorgeous. It's of a fox. It's just kind of like in stride and it's not painted. But the level of realism in the wood is just harrowing. And it is gorgeously stained and rich and heavy. The next you find is about a foot tall. It is. It. It's. It's sort of laid askew on a side. It stands on a wooden pedestal and it is of two humanoid figures embracing a little licentiously. And Tell me, it's a little more abstract and it's not quite as detailed, but it's also very much what it is. The third is four feet tall. It stands upright, surrounded by the silver. It's taller than Greta and it is of like. It's like. Like a person made of flowers caught up in wind, striding somewhere. Like a dryad in the most spiritual, abstract sense. [00:51:44] Speaker A: Ro goes up to it and goes, hey, look, it's me. It's my twin. She boots it on the nose. [00:51:55] Speaker B: Boss, did you have an open attunement slot? [00:51:59] Speaker E: No. So I'll just carry it with me. [00:52:00] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. Do you have it identified by any of your identify obsessed party members or. No. [00:52:08] Speaker E: If they want to, they can. [00:52:10] Speaker A: I'll identify it. And the teleportation. [00:52:15] Speaker F: Okay, are there. [00:52:16] Speaker B: You can spin the two spell slots and row. You identify first, then the band of unruly illusions. And with that, Micah says no more. I've had enough. [00:52:28] Speaker F: No, no, no. Just give me a second. Give me a second. [00:52:30] Speaker B: Oh, okay. Okay. It looks like. Oh, I had a more detailed description here and I didn't use. Is a ring formed from the coiling of seven thin bands of different metals. One of copper, iron, bronze, brass, silver, electrum, gold, and finally one of platinum, all woven around each other and together. An attuned creature can use a bonus action to twist the ring. They undergo an enchanted alteration of effects provided by the disguise self spell, taking on the visage of the following beings for the next hour. So you don't have to spell cast a spell slot. You just get disguised self. You roll a D20 for it. All of which are medium. It's random. If you roll a one to a two, you look like an unkempt, unsightly vagabond dressed in tattered clothes. If you roll a three to four, you look like a finely if garishly dressed noble laden in trappings of gross wealth. Five to six, a quivering mass of sparkling gelatinous ooze itself a swirl of colors. Seven to eight, the image of three kobolds standing on Each other's shoulders in a trench coat. Nine to ten, A bright pink, very round house cat the size of a person in a bowler's hat and fine suit with a cane and handbag. 11 to 12, a bizarre sculpture of living, moving food making up the surreal abstract image of a bipedal person. 13 to 14, the exact image and likeness of the person standing nearest to you. 15 to 16, an amalgam creature formed from each of the major appendages of the being standing next to you. 17 to 18, the world's largest cricket, entirely colored in a vibrant green with a blue top hat and black vest. Jiminy Cricket. [00:54:21] Speaker F: Oh my gosh. [00:54:21] Speaker B: 19 to 20, a giant floating bean. [00:54:25] Speaker A: Oh, this is a nifty item. [00:54:28] Speaker B: You guys get the feeling this might be a nifty item? And you all recall Nifty mentioned that he was friends with Yelik Tenant. [00:54:35] Speaker D: That's incredible. [00:54:36] Speaker A: Beautiful. [00:54:37] Speaker B: Wow. [00:54:38] Speaker D: A giant amalgamation. [00:54:41] Speaker A: There's a lot of. There's a lot to unpack there. [00:54:46] Speaker F: Oh my gosh. [00:54:50] Speaker A: Maybe that was Mrs. Cat. Maybe that was Mrs. Catawampus. [00:54:55] Speaker B: What? [00:54:56] Speaker E: Because didn't he was married. [00:54:59] Speaker A: Didn't, didn't Zach say that she carried a handbag and. [00:55:03] Speaker D: Oh, she. I just missed that part. [00:55:06] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:55:07] Speaker F: Did you say that? [00:55:07] Speaker A: Or am I imagining Zach's looking for. [00:55:12] Speaker B: What's the party do? [00:55:13] Speaker A: Then I, I, I, I say wow. [00:55:21] Speaker E: I start gathering up all the silver on the ground and trying to I. [00:55:26] Speaker B: If nothing else is done with the ring, you also identify that the unmarked teleportation stone is random. [00:55:35] Speaker A: Random. [00:55:37] Speaker B: When you crush it, you roll it. It transport you to another location mechanically. Player, you roll a D20. I have a table and I tell you where you go. [00:55:48] Speaker A: Oh man. There was only one. [00:55:51] Speaker B: Only one. [00:55:52] Speaker A: Okay. I just wanted to make sure. [00:55:54] Speaker B: So you don't know where you're going when you crush it. You're just going somewhere terrifying. [00:55:59] Speaker F: I love it. [00:56:02] Speaker A: Is there any platinum on the ground? [00:56:06] Speaker B: You look for a while. Silver. A lot of silver. Do you guys count up and gather all the silver? [00:56:12] Speaker D: Yeah. [00:56:14] Speaker B: Party. How long does it meticulously laboriously, tediously counts and gathers for the next. There's a. There's five of you. So it greatly reduces the time down to about five hours, which you all needed as a rest. Somebody does need to be here nearby helping Craig Cal make sure he counted correctly. But you guys count out 2,200. Excuse me. 22,222 platinum. [00:56:45] Speaker D: Wow. [00:56:45] Speaker A: Would you like me to divide that? Guys. [00:56:47] Speaker B: Excuse me. Silver, silver, silver, silver, silver, silver, silver. [00:56:51] Speaker A: 22,000 silver. [00:56:53] Speaker B: Silver. 22222 silver. 22222 silver. It's because someone says a thing about platinum before. [00:57:03] Speaker A: I'm excusing that. Could. If y'all wanted to split it among the four of us. I know Tello doesn't care carry money, I don't think, but if you wanted to split it among the four of us, that would leave each one of us 5555 silver. [00:57:17] Speaker D: It's awesome. [00:57:18] Speaker A: If y'all wanted to do that. [00:57:20] Speaker F: Yeah. How much? I would love that. [00:57:23] Speaker D: Did we split it five ways for Tell? [00:57:25] Speaker A: Yeah, we can suggest you don't want. [00:57:28] Speaker E: Tell to get paid. [00:57:29] Speaker B: I just. I like to think about it like all of you guys owe me infinitely forever. [00:57:34] Speaker A: Then that would. [00:57:35] Speaker B: A breeze comes by in the windowless doorless room that says that guy's an npc. [00:57:40] Speaker G: Hashtag the big my. [00:57:42] Speaker D: Okay. [00:57:43] Speaker A: I just wonder what I was going for. I wasn't trying to hurt hello's feelings. [00:57:50] Speaker D: Yeah. How much if we split it four ways? It's a lot. [00:57:53] Speaker A: 5555. [00:57:56] Speaker F: Oh, 5000. Oh, not 550. Okay. I missed that first number. [00:58:07] Speaker B: At 0.55555. Four fives. [00:58:13] Speaker D: No, it's. [00:58:14] Speaker F: Where does the four go? [00:58:17] Speaker D: Give myself an extra 0.05 to make it all five. Hope that's okay. [00:58:25] Speaker B: DM really okay with that. I'm super okay with that. [00:58:27] Speaker D: I just wanted to have. [00:58:28] Speaker B: And if it is in this course of meticulously clearing out the room of coins. Also, Greta, that cloaks getting real. Real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, real, full. You are. In fact, I'd like you to go ahead and make a note somewhere that your cloak's at capacity. [00:58:51] Speaker D: Oh, no, wait. Have you seen my document? I'll show you my document. [00:58:55] Speaker A: I do feel like show you her documentation. [00:58:58] Speaker B: 22. 222 coins. So. [00:59:01] Speaker D: Well, but I don't have all of them. [00:59:04] Speaker B: That's true. You have 5,000 of them. Why don't you send me your document? Why don't you send me your document? [00:59:08] Speaker D: I'll send you my document. [00:59:10] Speaker B: Which. Okay. Which of the other items are being gathered and taken with. [00:59:15] Speaker D: I want to take. [00:59:15] Speaker B: Which items do you leave? [00:59:17] Speaker D: I take all the gemstones just to like store them. [00:59:21] Speaker A: Good. [00:59:21] Speaker D: And I want to take the fox statue. [00:59:24] Speaker B: Okay, you take the fox. Do you leave the other two statues? You can. [00:59:28] Speaker F: Yeah. [00:59:30] Speaker B: Oh, also. Excuse me. You guys also find a 5 by 2 foot silk throw trimmed in shades of silver with an abstract image of light dazzled over ocean Waters and a cashmere afghan blanket woven from a spectrum of warm fall colors in repeating geometric patterns. [00:59:47] Speaker D: Snatched. Both of those snatched. [00:59:49] Speaker A: I would like. Wait, I don't have. [00:59:52] Speaker B: If you take it, please put it in your inventory, in your channel. [00:59:55] Speaker A: I would like. Did you take both of those? [01:00:00] Speaker F: Do you want one? [01:00:03] Speaker A: I was gonna identify both of them. [01:00:06] Speaker D: Oh yeah, yeah. [01:00:08] Speaker B: Why don't you identify one? [01:00:11] Speaker A: Okay. [01:00:12] Speaker D: I like they're not magical. [01:00:14] Speaker A: Oh, okay. I'll identify the one that's magical. [01:00:19] Speaker B: It's. The one you identify is not magical. [01:00:21] Speaker A: What? [01:00:23] Speaker B: And then Rose slips on a coin, smacks her head on the ground so hard she realizes they're both not magical. She gets up and adds that coin to the total. [01:00:31] Speaker A: Okay, I would like to see if the. If the 4 foot half dried statue is magical. [01:00:42] Speaker B: Okay, you cast another identify spell. Non magical. Just a really elaborate wood carving. Craig, have you been summoned to appraise the gemstones? [01:00:55] Speaker F: Yes, I do indeed appraise them. I would like to know. [01:01:05] Speaker B: Since you were a mind man, since you were a mind manager, this will be an intelligence check, but you will add your proficiency bonus and you have. Actually, no. Here's what we're going to do. It's an intelligence check, but you have expertise in it. So you. You double your proficiency and add it on to what you roll. [01:01:27] Speaker C: Okay. [01:01:30] Speaker F: Good, because I have negative 12 intelligence. [01:01:35] Speaker B: Well, you were very experienced. You just also didn't pay attention all the time. [01:01:40] Speaker F: So that's 11 to begin with. Plus eight is 19. [01:01:45] Speaker B: Okay. Do you guide yourself? [01:01:48] Speaker F: Sure, why not? That's a great suggestion. I go. So that'd be 22. [01:02:02] Speaker B: Craig. The half golf. Golf ball sized ruby is worth 6,000 gold. [01:02:07] Speaker D: Oh, wait, hold on. It's me. [01:02:13] Speaker F: Hey. This is really expensive. Good job. [01:02:18] Speaker B: The half golf ball sized Ruby is worth 6,000 thousand gold. The large diamond is worth 750 gold. [01:02:30] Speaker D: Hold on, I want to take good notes on this. 6,000 gold. 6,000 BP okay, please. What were the diamonds? [01:02:40] Speaker B: The large is 750. The too small are 250. Oh, I love a loot session. Each emerald is worth roughly 300 gold. [01:02:58] Speaker D: How many emeralds? Because you just said 700. Sorry, two. Two. [01:03:06] Speaker B: Each emerald is worth 300 gold. And there's two of them. [01:03:10] Speaker D: Two sizable emeralds. P E A. Okay. [01:03:16] Speaker B: And the black Pearl is worth 1500 gold. It's a small black pearl, but its rarity is immense. [01:03:27] Speaker D: 1500. [01:03:29] Speaker B: While we're here, you want to repeat that check on Califastos. Not that you're giving him up, but you want to Repeat that check on what he'd be worth. [01:03:38] Speaker F: Yeah, yeah, that one. This one's better. 17, 8 is 25. Right. [01:03:55] Speaker B: Craig, the gemstones, plating and design of this weapon, you have no idea what influence the him there being a dude inside of that thing goes up or down, maybe it makes it less valuable, maybe it makes it more valuable. But the weapon on its own, you know, that's a 12,000 gold weapon. It's an entire axe made out of gold, silver and gemstones, comma 212,000 gold. That's 12120. [01:04:33] Speaker F: That's so hard to believe. 12,000 it. [01:04:36] Speaker B: Look at the thing in reference. [01:04:38] Speaker F: Ain't no way. I know, but that's just why. Wow. Zaroni. [01:04:42] Speaker B: Very worth reminding everyone that a ,ousand is essentially 300 gold or excuse me, $300. So that's like holding $3.6 million in your hands, which if you had a axe that well made, covered in that many gemstones, covered in that many precious metals, probably would be worth $3 million in your hand. [01:05:07] Speaker F: And you get a built in friend like, dude, that's awesome. [01:05:11] Speaker B: That's a good deal. As the manager of a gemstone mine who is in charge of sales, at times you get the feeling that you sell this to somebody rich, trying to feel important, giving them an item that gorgeous, that's maybe not that powerful, but. But also has a voice that's willing to tell them how great they are. That could be worth a lot of money. Or you could keep Califastos forever as a friend. Who knows? [01:05:37] Speaker F: Keep him and help him. [01:05:41] Speaker B: I can fix him. Craig said last item. Oh, no, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. [01:05:46] Speaker A: I was just gonna ask, did you say, you said where some of us needed a rest. Does that include like, does it count as a short rest or this? [01:05:56] Speaker B: No, short rest is when you're sitting around doing nothing. Yeah, I think you're pretty laboriously gathering encounters. [01:06:03] Speaker A: No worries. I just wanted to check because there's one last item. [01:06:07] Speaker D: Okay. [01:06:07] Speaker B: That's discovered beneath everything. [01:06:10] Speaker A: Beneath everything. [01:06:11] Speaker B: As you all are searching through piles and piles of coins, collecting your treasures. There's one copper piece. No, Craig, you find a little book. It's strange. Okay, hold on, let me make sure I read this correctly. [01:06:33] Speaker F: Like Harry Potter monster book strange where it tries to eat you. [01:06:36] Speaker B: Well, it. No, no, it is Prisoner of Azkaban. You find a small black kind of journal looking, but it's bound in a metal frame. Now there's a couple important things about doesn't look when I say leather, it's a leather material you can't identify. [01:07:06] Speaker D: Scary. [01:07:08] Speaker B: A leather you don't recognize at all. It's dark, dark black, but it's got kind of like an oil spill sheen to it. The metal frame wrapping the book face and seams is a brilliant metal that also has a slick sheen to it that you are also a metal with which you are unfamiliar. Craig. There is a bound clasp around the front with a little lock mechanism that looks like it could be turned. And all of the pages within look in very good condition, but so ancient. [01:07:55] Speaker F: So I need a key to unlock it and to like open it. [01:07:58] Speaker B: No, no, it's just got a little clasp you can flip. [01:08:04] Speaker F: Hey, I want to make a good decision. Can anyone tell me if this thing is as like a trap on it or something that if I open it I might die? Can y'all, can you guys, can you guys check for that? [01:08:20] Speaker B: Hello? Picks it up and also NAT1 slips on a coin and hits his head and goes, I hate this dungeon. Enhance it. [01:08:29] Speaker F: I think. I think there's something wrong with the book because something happened to Tello. Someone double check. [01:08:36] Speaker B: That makes sense to me. I want to get out of this place. But I do like all the money. [01:08:44] Speaker D: I will test it. [01:08:47] Speaker B: Okay. Greta opens it up. Nothing happens. The mechanism actually, there is no noise. The mechanism just moves to the side. The metal frame creaks very slightly as you open it. And as you flip to the pages, they're all blank. [01:09:08] Speaker D: What's a journal Cray? Can I do an arcana check to see if it's magical? [01:09:20] Speaker B: Well, you open it up and flip it open, sift through the pages and find that they're blank. Then a moment. Oh, that's the wrong. Hold on. Sorry. Okay. Then a moment later. [01:09:39] Speaker D: Okay. [01:09:39] Speaker B: Normal gray smoke. [01:09:43] Speaker F: I knew it. I knew it, I knew it. [01:09:45] Speaker B: Knocked to your feet or knocked halfway over. You all scatter back up, surrounded by piles of money and things you're organizing. And standing in the chamber. At eight and a half feet tall is a dark brown skinned man with a lion's mane of moss coming down off of his broad muscular shoulders. His broad regal face crowned by massive antlers, elk antlers from which bill vines his. His eyes burn green with electricity and firelight. He's bare chested and strong. And from his hips down sprout massive elk legs. He just stands there, towering over you all, suddenly looking at you all in stilled silence. Some of the coins you've been carefully stacking. Scorpion scatter. When he arrives. [01:10:50] Speaker A: I wrote Elbow's boss and takes a Step back. [01:10:56] Speaker F: Oh, group leader. [01:10:57] Speaker A: Like this guy? This guy looks like your kind of guy. There's say that, but that's what she says. [01:11:02] Speaker E: He look familiar. [01:11:05] Speaker B: And Boz, you look up at Yelik Tenant, who looks at you. Boz. [01:11:13] Speaker G: What have you done with my staff? [01:11:16] Speaker E: Oh, I became it. [01:11:22] Speaker B: A little smile cuts his stone expression pulling slightly up to the side. [01:11:33] Speaker G: So who are you, boss? [01:11:41] Speaker E: Craig said he knew. [01:11:47] Speaker B: His eyes narrow, much more grave and serious than he usually is. [01:11:57] Speaker E: Say, do you want like a metaphor? Like I am what I need to be. [01:12:07] Speaker B: He just turns away from you and he raises a hand. Up from the center of the room emerges this big stone arch just from the floor. And now I need to go back to my other document. You all see before you a beautiful black, white and purple archway of stone moving back and forth between foreign alien minerals and it fills with this misty purple light. [01:12:47] Speaker G: He says that is the gate. The top of my tower. It will take you anywhere you choose to go. Walk through it. Return to your ship, go home. Go to Ogba. Go to the heart of Unson. Leave. If you choose. [01:13:17] Speaker B: More. [01:13:20] Speaker G: Accept my offer. [01:13:26] Speaker E: What's your offer? [01:13:29] Speaker B: He steps up. It doesn't feel like Zielbross, like Good Charlotte manipulating you and leveling petty insecurities. It doesn't feel like a Kefkan officer. Or it doesn't feel like someone trying to make themselves big by making you feel small. He gets in your face, towering down over you, broad like an animal. He gets maybe six inches away from you. He is pungent. He smells like. He smells intensely of herbs you've never known. Grasses and foliage and rich earth. There's a musk. It's powerful, mostly pleasant, very natural and harsh. As he gets close he just says. [01:14:24] Speaker G: Who are you, Baz, if you don't know. [01:14:35] Speaker B: He's faced face gets almost a little. [01:14:37] Speaker G: Sad and he says I doubt you can help me. [01:14:43] Speaker B: Sorry. He stands up again. [01:14:55] Speaker G: You hold the Book of Secrets? [01:14:57] Speaker B: Yes. [01:14:58] Speaker D: Oh. [01:14:59] Speaker G: What you came for. You can't read. Was stolen. [01:15:06] Speaker B: And he looks at Greta from the. [01:15:09] Speaker G: Library and back to you all. I found it and stashed it here. I am capable of reading it for you. It can be read, but only with a wish. I'm aware that you possess one if you so choose. [01:15:33] Speaker B: He gestures to the gate. [01:15:35] Speaker G: Leave Suspended. Have you answer. [01:15:43] Speaker E: I'm confused. We don't have a wish. [01:15:45] Speaker B: Oh, I thought you had one. From what's her name? I could be wrong. [01:15:51] Speaker A: You did. From the hat bag. [01:15:53] Speaker E: And no, we have to bring her the stone. And then we get A wish. [01:15:58] Speaker B: Anywho, the DM cast. Oopsie, poopsie. And then he says. [01:16:04] Speaker G: I can read it for you? Or give you the ability to read it. You can have the answer for your people. [01:16:13] Speaker B: I chose. Oh, sorry. [01:16:17] Speaker G: Not like a God chooses. Not like a weapon they claim ownership that they claim to use. Not like a tool. The rest of the court, they are focused on the domains. My sight wanders. I become interested in far and strange things I know of Ogba's polite. I could have given them the answer. He looks down at the book. But I wanted to see who you became. I have convinced the court to meet, to offer you audience. In exchange. For each of you who agrees, each of us will permit you a question from the Book. In exchange, you will come with me to the Feywilds, to the Seelie Court. And you will prove to my cohort what I suspect. That you are capable individuals of whom we may place our trust. I fear Yalabran will not survive. I know we all fear the Hate King. We have devised a plan, perhaps to protect what might remain. And we are interested in having you as a small, simple part of that plan. [01:18:20] Speaker E: Look back at everybody else to get facial expressions. [01:18:23] Speaker D: And what everybody looks like right now, Greta's like, in. You can see like awe and fear, but when you look at her, she nods. [01:18:37] Speaker A: Ro has like kind of a grave expression on her face. But she nods to you as well and takes a deep breath. [01:18:51] Speaker C: It kind of feels a little confused used. Cuz I think that he's very new to like. I think he's. He's like, just do whatever needs to be done. And he can. He trusts. He trusts that what is being said is true. But I think that he's trying to like, catch up a little bit on magical stuff. And he's kind of like, I don't know if I'm capable. He's having some insecurity in himself too. [01:19:18] Speaker B: It. Okay. [01:19:20] Speaker E: And Zach, just to make sure I understand. So the Book of Secrets was stolen from the Library of Iun and taken into the Fay Wild at the Sey Court. And if we agree to go and help them and prove ourselves, be trustworthy, they'll permit us to each ask a question of the Book and learn something. [01:19:35] Speaker B: It seems to be what they're offering now, right at the beginning, you don't know if he said it was stolen from the Library. And he looked at me, his possession. You don't know if twas him. But it certainly made its way here at some point. And also, you're not in the Feywild. Now you're in the Tower. But those are semantics. Yes. He is offering that if you come, each of each of the Archfey of the Seelie Court, each of them are offering that each will cast one wish and allow each of you to ask the Book of Many Secrets a question. This is their offer. And in exchange, you will agree. Now he's saying you can come earn the audience with them. That offer is the price for you helping them. Agreeing to help them, you might not agree in whatever their plan is. This. This Doomsday contingency plan they have. [01:20:36] Speaker D: So the we're in exchange. [01:20:41] Speaker B: The exchange inviting you to come to the table. If you agree, then you get the wishes. [01:20:47] Speaker D: Oh, I see, I see. So we're invited to go hear the thing then? If we agree, then we get the wish. [01:20:53] Speaker B: Yeah. And it appears from what he's saying, who knows where this could go? But it appears from when he's saying that this wish applies to being allowed to read from the book. [01:21:04] Speaker D: Okay, I have a. When he looked at me when he said it was stolen, does that imply that it was stolen from the Library of Iun? [01:21:13] Speaker B: He said it was stolen from the library and then he looked at you? Would be tacit and implied. [01:21:24] Speaker D: Can I do an insight check? [01:21:25] Speaker B: You can make an inside check against the Archfey. That's the reason I pulled up. His stat block. [01:21:32] Speaker A: Is I have a question while she rolls because I know. We came to this Tower for the book. Correct. So is it his book? Do we know? Is it his book? Like, was it called Aelesmon's book called Secrets? It's just called. Called the Book of Secrets. So we don't know whose book it was. Like, no one ever told us who it actually belonged to. [01:21:59] Speaker B: It's called the Book of Secrets. [01:22:01] Speaker A: Okay. [01:22:02] Speaker D: Got a 13. [01:22:06] Speaker B: You're not sure. [01:22:08] Speaker D: I hope I didn't steal it. [01:22:12] Speaker F: Okay. [01:22:18] Speaker D: Stands there, I. Yeah, I just. I give you a nod to pause and calm. [01:22:23] Speaker B: Staring at you. [01:22:26] Speaker D: That's it. [01:22:27] Speaker E: I turn to look back at him and say, all right, we'll come with you. [01:22:39] Speaker G: It would serve you well to the side. Pause. [01:22:45] Speaker B: And he like just uniformly shrinks about 2ft until he's a sufficient height to walk through the door. [01:22:53] Speaker E: As he's shrinking, I ask, I say, hey, you, by the way. You know, you have like a. [01:22:58] Speaker B: He stops and turns like a devil. [01:23:00] Speaker E: Guy in like, your room down there. Is he still supposed to be chained up? I didn't let him go, but he really wanted me to. I just want to double Check. [01:23:10] Speaker B: And he just turns around and walks through the door. [01:23:13] Speaker F: All right. [01:23:13] Speaker B: Well missed. [01:23:16] Speaker E: I feel like we did what we could, you guys. Too bad he knows Craig's name. [01:23:24] Speaker D: I'm so sad that we can't take the statues with us. [01:23:31] Speaker B: I guess you could carry them. But I don't know about that other one. [01:23:34] Speaker D: The big one. Hello. Will you help me carry the small one? [01:23:39] Speaker G: The fox. [01:23:41] Speaker D: I have the fox in my pocket. I meant the other one. [01:23:45] Speaker G: Doing the thing. Very insinian of you. [01:23:47] Speaker B: And he picks it up. [01:23:49] Speaker D: No, I just. [01:23:49] Speaker C: I. [01:23:52] Speaker D: Think I don't want to be. We shouldn't be carrying a beautiful statue when we're talking with these big famous people. Come back for it. [01:24:02] Speaker E: I already have an invitation to the Sealy Court. Why do I need theirs? [01:24:07] Speaker D: Well, we don't have one. This is my first. [01:24:11] Speaker B: Wait. No. [01:24:12] Speaker E: I'm in Eyes and land. I didn't. [01:24:15] Speaker B: Landon says allowed to the dm. I didn't know you had an invitation to the Sealy Court. You do. [01:24:22] Speaker E: It's one of my trinkets. [01:24:25] Speaker B: Ah. Oh, the one that's not addressed to you. Yes. [01:24:29] Speaker E: Yes. It's not cool. [01:24:32] Speaker B: You could certainly try and cash that in. What do you do? [01:24:36] Speaker E: I walk through the portal and I think about the feywilds. [01:24:39] Speaker B: Do you keep that on your. Is that not at your home? [01:24:42] Speaker E: I took it with me. [01:24:44] Speaker B: Okay. All right. And then Boz and Greta walk through the portal. [01:24:51] Speaker D: I want to grab boss walking through. [01:24:54] Speaker A: Okay. [01:24:57] Speaker E: As I go. Just so the next person can have a little treasure. [01:25:00] Speaker B: You know. How much do you toss back one a silver and grab a little kiss. [01:25:11] Speaker E: I throw it as I walk through the portal. [01:25:13] Speaker C: It was the one that Craig licked. It's still a little. [01:25:16] Speaker E: No, I definitely would have not done. [01:25:21] Speaker D: That. [01:25:24] Speaker B: For all of your level 12 powers. You can't escape the little bit of Craig spit that gets on your mouth. And then Craig follow. I don't know. [01:25:32] Speaker E: I don't care. I think the sending stone that had a little bit of Craig spitting chili on it. So I'm fine. This is. [01:25:40] Speaker B: And Craig walks into the portal from behind. [01:25:43] Speaker F: You. [01:25:44] Speaker B: You. And as all of the fun guys disappear through the portal. That. Yes. One more thing. [01:25:49] Speaker C: Always really quick as he's leaving Craig. Craig just says, so what's your life story? To clap as he's like walking through the law. And then. [01:25:58] Speaker B: Whoa. Let me tell you. [01:26:06] Speaker G: I don't remember much. [01:26:07] Speaker B: But what I can remember. And that's a. What's happening is the two through the portal. And that is where we will end. Episode 129 of the Accidental Adventures. [01:26:20] Speaker C: My gosh. [01:26:22] Speaker B: Guys, players, since you completed the dungeon 0.03 plus you accept the invitation. So you guys gain another 0.04 level. [01:26:37] Speaker A: So we're at 12.55. [01:26:41] Speaker B: Dang. Climbing. [01:26:44] Speaker E: This is our third session at level 12. [01:26:47] Speaker B: You're doing. I mean, you're doing a lot of big stuff, you know? [01:26:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:26:50] Speaker C: Doing big stuff. [01:26:52] Speaker E: I get a new magic item at 13th level, which is nice. [01:26:56] Speaker D: It is awesome. [01:26:57] Speaker A: Guys. I can take teleport at the next level and get us places updates. [01:27:07] Speaker C: Ro is gonna be our car. [01:27:10] Speaker A: Vroom, vroom, baby. [01:27:13] Speaker C: We'll have a license. [01:27:14] Speaker A: I can teleport us somewhere and then. [01:27:19] Speaker C: Just travel. [01:27:20] Speaker A: Oh, we get teleported somewhere and then Boz can tree us back. Or vice versa so we don't have to wait a day. Because if we use one to go and then one to come back. [01:27:33] Speaker D: That is awesome. [01:27:34] Speaker A: Right, boss? [01:27:35] Speaker E: I'm not going to get a second six level spell until level 19. What? Okay, Zach, you got to change the rules. [01:27:46] Speaker B: But life is an incredible adventure. Listen, you are an important part of it. We will see you next time in the Feywilds before the Sealy Court. [01:27:56] Speaker D: I'm so excited.