Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Welcome back to another solemn episode of Barely D and D or sort of dungeons and Dragons podcast, sort of, because sometimes there's just not an episode. What are you gonna do?
So if you're here for the last summary, and I assume 109 episodes in, you would be. We did a big old oopsie doopsie and lost two episodes because we switched recording methods, and it kind of put everything in a flux. We didn't realize that the files expired on the service after a little while. And I went to go edit the episodes, and they weren't there anymore. And I was like, zach, do you have the episodes? And he was like, nah, brah, you do the episodes. And I was like, you're right. I don't know where they are. They're gone. So we're doing these summaries to kind of catch everybody up. Last week was episode 108, warmer Hearts. And this week is going to be episode 109, plated provision.
Like, we're recording this at the same time as we did last week. So, again, shout out to Jackie and Micah, because I sent them a message, like, yesterday, and we're like, please help me. Everything's on fire. And they had, you know, they left me a suspense for a little bit. Eventually they came back and they said, okay, we're here.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: You could have called me.
[00:01:06] Speaker A: I didn't want to bother you. It was a weekend.
Plus, Micah has a boyfriend, and they. I didn't want to interrupt it if they were on a date or something. It's the weekend. They were. I made the right call.
[00:01:18] Speaker B: Okay, well, then.
[00:01:20] Speaker C: But it's okay.
[00:01:21] Speaker B: And you could, like, send a text, and then we get back to.
[00:01:24] Speaker A: I did send a text to Micah.
[00:01:26] Speaker C: You did everything right, Landon. What was so funny was that I was in a location where the Wi Fi is terrible, and so I was seeing y'all's messages come out, and I literally cannot reply. Like, I just could not reply. Like, I couldn't get it to load, but. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Okay.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: Oh, fun fact. Oh, I was just gonna say, going into this episode, we didn't do this for the last one on the recap, but it's a level eleven adventure. The year is 3488 PB, and the date after we wake up because we fell asleep is calidrone 32.
I don't remember how to pronounce this day of the week. Natum nutem natum. I'm so sorry, Zach. I'm butchering your days of the week.
[00:02:09] Speaker A: But the fun fact has it on the Patreon. The calendar.
[00:02:14] Speaker B: No, I know, but I don't know the pronunciation. I do too, but I don't know the pronunciation.
[00:02:19] Speaker A: I don't have.
[00:02:19] Speaker B: I printed out Nat natum.
But anyways, it doesn't matter. It's the last day of summer.
[00:02:26] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
[00:02:27] Speaker B: Was the note I was trying to get out there. Sorry.
[00:02:30] Speaker A: Cool, cool, cool. One thing we remembered in between recording the last summary and this one is the letter questions that we did. And that was probably one of the most difficult things to lose because they were great questions.
[00:02:41] Speaker B: They really were.
[00:02:42] Speaker A: And. But we remembered our responses to them. So we were going to discuss them real quick before getting into the episode. Because this episode, I think, was the last shopping episode.
[00:02:51] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:02:51] Speaker A: And there were some memorable moments at the end, but a lot of it was mainly like doing a last supply run to get everything ready before heading out.
But the letter questions that we did, the first one for 108 was if your character was a part of a fandom, what fandom would that be? And there was some debate that we had already done it, but I did not remember and it might have been while I was gone. So we decided to go ahead and do it anyway.
[00:03:17] Speaker B: But it was so good.
[00:03:19] Speaker A: It was really good.
I'm going to go last because mine's the most embarrassing. So, Jackie, I can go first. Micah.
[00:03:27] Speaker C: So I was thinking about it and I think after Craig's emotional development as a person, he would be a swiftie.
I don't know. I think he would listen to it maybe a little ironically at the start or just checking it out. I think that he would end up falling in love with Taylor Swift's music eventually.
[00:03:47] Speaker A: He would be just that middle aged man in a concert tee in the nosebleed screaming the lyrics to, I don't know, we're never getting back together like 16 and 17 year old girls.
[00:04:03] Speaker B: That was the worst song for.
[00:04:07] Speaker A: Think of it. It's the funniest. I'm sorry.
[00:04:12] Speaker B: I remembered the DMM PC for both of them. Actually, the one for this was shpigoop. And Zach said it would be the phineas and Ferb fandom because it's so wholesome and spaguber is just wholesome and would enjoy it and be singing along. It's 104 days to summer vacation.
That's perfect. Rose, I said would have been. I wanted it to be supernatural because I love supernatural, but I think it would have ended up being like, I think she would discover like the Harry Potter fandom and like, and like Potter Moore and stuff like that. Obviously not like the bad side of it. Now but, like, she would definitely be, like, one of these people. Like, oh, my God, you're such a hufflepuff. You're such a Gryffindor. And she would have a lot of fun with that. And she'd think it was probably pretty cool that there were a bunch of wizards that got to go to school, and she'd probably start calling people, like, muggles that couldn't cast magic. I don't know.
[00:05:12] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
She looks at Craig, and she's like, oh, I'm so glad you're not, like, a full muggle anymore.
[00:05:19] Speaker B: Yeah, you're not a half one. She likes to give nicknames to things. I don't know. But I also said maybe Bob's burger fandom because she would enjoy watching, like, what a real family looked like because she's an orphan, you know?
[00:05:33] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:05:34] Speaker B: Had to throw that in there. And Zach said something about doing bingo for different things, that for each of our characters and players of what they say during a session, because I'm always bringing up the orphan thing.
[00:05:48] Speaker C: I like it.
[00:05:49] Speaker A: Vaz said that he was. Would be a brony, and it's because he wouldn't realize how cringe it would be in the moment. He would just come and do a kind of, like a good. He'd be like, oh, like these magic horses, and they value friendship, and they go on adventures, and they defeat evil, and they learn more lessons. And look, that one. That one has. That one can do magic.
[00:06:12] Speaker B: Cool.
[00:06:13] Speaker A: Cool. So he would go to Comic Con dressed up as a yemenite brony, and then eventually having a horrible.
[00:06:21] Speaker B: You could turn into one and actual, my little.
[00:06:24] Speaker A: My little pony.
[00:06:25] Speaker C: I don't like that.
[00:06:28] Speaker A: He would show up to comic Con as twilight sparkle and be very popular.
But he then quickly realized the rest of the fandom and how smelly they are.
Okay. I actually met a real life person who admitted they went to a brony convention, and after grimacing for a solid 30 seconds, they were actually nice.
[00:06:49] Speaker B: So I can see Landon's face in that interaction. Not all Brody.
What?
[00:06:56] Speaker A: Most, for sure.
[00:06:57] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
[00:06:59] Speaker A: You could have chosen anything, and you chose that. But as soon as boss figured out, he definitely. He definitely wouldn't have stuck around. But I'm just saying it would have been accidental.
So that's letter to question number one.
Letter to question number dos was. Drumroll, please.
[00:07:13] Speaker B: Jackie, with the honors, your character's top three latest Google searches.
[00:07:20] Speaker A: Now, I don't remember all of mine, but Jackie wrote down one from everybody, so.
[00:07:25] Speaker B: Oh, also, we kind of put it as, like, one thing that I thought that I want to say is to, to preface one of my Google searches, one of Rose is Zach said, what if your character got, like, thrown into a portal to the real enchanted style? Right? Yeah. And like, they, they were like suddenly thrust into the real world and they started, like, wanting to Google stuff and had Google at their fingertips. But Zack also said he pictured, like, ro getting thrown into the real world and having to be roommates with me. And I said, that would be the coolest day of my life. And Zach said, if Jackie's just sitting there watching supernatural or whatever. And Rose. And Rose sees Jensen Eccles and is like, wait, is he a king? And so one of her Google searchers was, is Jensen Ackles a king?
[00:08:21] Speaker A: Why? Short kings, not royal.
[00:08:23] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:08:24] Speaker B: What land are short kings? King o.
But one that I have.
[00:08:32] Speaker C: Oh, it's so fun.
[00:08:34] Speaker B: Oh, and the DMMPC was we decided on Madame Meescore. And I think some of our stuff was like, oh, I had skeleton monkey cringe for me. Score. And also yboz. No, like me.
And for Boz, I had nearest Arby's.
[00:08:55] Speaker A: I don't know the context of that. I don't know the context.
[00:08:59] Speaker B: And Craig said, what color should my poop be?
[00:09:05] Speaker A: Nearest Arby's.
[00:09:07] Speaker B: Nearest Arby's.
[00:09:10] Speaker A: Energy, though. Real life was Mandev.
[00:09:15] Speaker B: And also I think me and Micah started chanting. We were talking about all the different hags. And I think it was me and Micah, or maybe it was me and Landon started chanting, this is Hagaween. Hagoween.
[00:09:31] Speaker C: Oh, my God.
[00:09:32] Speaker B: Oh. And Boz took five points of psychic damage at the beginning of this episode.
[00:09:38] Speaker C: Probably because I'm out of my score dream, right?
[00:09:40] Speaker B: And then Landon said, me. It didn't bother me.
[00:09:46] Speaker C: Unbothered queen.
[00:09:48] Speaker A: I guess so.
[00:09:50] Speaker B: That's what I have. I wish I had all of our Google searches, but at least I have a few. Yeah.
[00:09:55] Speaker C: Oh, I think one for Craig was like, how to talk to women. I think that was like. Or how to talk to wife. Or like, how to fix broken marriage.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: How to fix wife.
[00:10:07] Speaker A: How to fix wife. That's like, oh, gee, Craig, that's not her.
[00:10:12] Speaker C: Craig.
[00:10:13] Speaker A: Episode one. Craig. How to fix wife.
[00:10:15] Speaker C: How to fix other people.
[00:10:17] Speaker A: How to turn off and turn on again.
[00:10:21] Speaker B: Why do people not like me?
Why do they not like me?
[00:10:27] Speaker A: Why is everyone so politically correct?
Okay, so this is maybe last shopping episode of Portless Money saw. Maybe every time we do a shopping arc, it's like twelve episodes because we love talking and shopping and shopping and wheeling and buying and stealing.
[00:10:54] Speaker B: I didn't steal anything this time around. Oh, my gosh. I'm growing.
[00:10:59] Speaker A: So we kind of split up at the beginning of this episode because Craig wanted to find armor, and I wanted to find a.
Something else to fit my vibe because I was kind of outgrowing the ring of quickening. I had all my attunement slots filled up. Jackie, if you're okay, say so. Your cameras.
[00:11:20] Speaker B: I'm okay. I don't know why it's not. I don't know why my camera is not showing up. Like, okay, I turned it back on.
[00:11:26] Speaker A: And everything, and it's just not going a solidarity.
[00:11:30] Speaker C: I'll match.
[00:11:34] Speaker A: Support Jackie.
You can support Jackie by subscribing to her YouTube. It's only $5 a month. You get access to the coolest emojis.
[00:11:45] Speaker B: Wait, you do, though?
[00:11:47] Speaker A: I do, though. They're really cool.
So we all kind of split up. I was kind of outgrowing the ring of quickening.
[00:11:55] Speaker B: Well, actually, you gave it to Ro.
[00:11:58] Speaker A: Did I?
[00:11:58] Speaker B: Oh, that's like, do you want this? And I felt kind of bad, and I was like, why don't you. I told you the next morning. I was like, why don't you use it to, like, buy stuff?
[00:12:08] Speaker A: And I said, good idea, and so I took it back from her. Yeah, that's the best way to handle giving a gift, is taking it back. Eventually.
[00:12:15] Speaker C: Okay, I. What? I don't remember. There we go. I don't remember how you got to where you found the armor, Landon.
[00:12:25] Speaker A: I just went to the only other magic shop in Magic Lane.
[00:12:28] Speaker C: But, like, how did we.
[00:12:32] Speaker A: Micah was like, I need armor. I'm going to go to a regular armory. So she went to Sea wars cauldron, which is who made the dragon shell encrusted dagger and shield, which ended up being mega cursed. I kind of wanted to see how that guy was doing because I feel like touching one of Zorgom's scales and, like, disassembling it, I feel like, would have lasting impressions.
[00:12:50] Speaker B: True.
[00:12:51] Speaker A: But we didn't really get that because, well, we'll get to why that didn't happen. But anyways. Oh, I still wonder what happened to the chicken pirate who took the Zorgrum blade that I had. That guy.
[00:13:04] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
[00:13:07] Speaker A: My blade. And then I cast, like, did some charm spell to make. Just leave, and I was like, dang it. I like that blade.
[00:13:14] Speaker B: Blade.
[00:13:16] Speaker A: No, we sold. We sold that to the opalescent home.
[00:13:19] Speaker B: Oh, y'all sold the counts blade.
[00:13:21] Speaker A: Yeah. It's in the opalescent tome now.
[00:13:23] Speaker B: I don't know why I thought that's what the chicken pirate took.
[00:13:26] Speaker A: No, he took the Zorgrim dagger that Segor also made.
So hopefully Segor's doing all right.
[00:13:37] Speaker B: Maybe he's a goon of the bloodied one now. And maybe the pirate ship is just flying around with red scales on it now.
They're an army of the dead chicken pirates now.
[00:13:56] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh.
[00:13:57] Speaker B: They all have red eyes.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: It's like pirates of the Caribbean. But chickens.
[00:14:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:14:02] Speaker A: So, yeah. So Craig went to Segor's pauldron, and there wasn't a lot of magical items there, right, Craig?
[00:14:09] Speaker B: Kind of like, Craig and Ro had a little.
I don't know, we had a chat about something on the way there. It was kind of a nice, heartfelt chat, but I don't remember what about.
[00:14:21] Speaker C: Oh, I don't remember either.
[00:14:24] Speaker B: We were talking about, like, oh, because, like, boz is about someone. Oh. About tello being, like, cool and suave and, like, we're not.
Oh, like, because you're a charisma caster now. And, like, obviously we weren't going with, like, technical terms like that, but you were like, how do you have more charisma? And I was like, I have a lot of charisma. Ro was like, I have a lot of charisma, but I'm still really awkward. I'm not, like, smooth like tello, and you're like, how do I find my charisma and be, like, charismatic with people? And I was like, you can be. Just be yourself. I don't know, something like that.
[00:15:00] Speaker C: And it was a nice little momentous. I think Craig's favorite website is Wikihow.
[00:15:07] Speaker B: That's his Google search.
[00:15:09] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:09] Speaker C: Because I think that he just. He's like, okay, I like that. How to get that.
[00:15:14] Speaker B: How to get.
[00:15:15] Speaker C: It's like this practical thing. So we had, like, that heartfelt conversation.
[00:15:18] Speaker B: How to find religion, how to find.
[00:15:20] Speaker C: Religion, how to find deity. If deity exists, why not talk to deity?
[00:15:25] Speaker B: Local gods in your area?
Okay.
[00:15:35] Speaker C: Yeah, yeah. So we had that great conversation, and I think while Ro's intentions were super sweet and wholesome, I still don't think it's clicking. I think he's still like, yes, be self, but be self is not where be tello.
[00:15:49] Speaker A: Be tello.
[00:15:50] Speaker C: I want to be tell. Oh, how to be true.
[00:15:53] Speaker B: How to be tello. How to be the hot friend.
[00:15:56] Speaker C: How to be the hot friend. How could be smooth with women with wife.
[00:16:01] Speaker A: With wife. Not women.
[00:16:04] Speaker C: With wife. Yes. Not to return to Og Craig.
[00:16:09] Speaker A: Yeah. So they did that basically, yeah. Just trying to figure out how to do simple. The simple pickup YouTube channel from way back. And.
[00:16:19] Speaker B: Oh, and Greta was throwing up the whole episode.
[00:16:22] Speaker A: Yeah. I don't know. Why. Why was she growing up? Because she ate too much honey bread. I think it's what Zack said.
[00:16:26] Speaker B: I think that's what Zach said after the fifth time.
[00:16:29] Speaker A: I was like, yo, like, that's not good, bro. Like, electrolytes are important.
[00:16:35] Speaker B: We need to bring her back some Gatorade.
[00:16:36] Speaker A: We need to bring her back. So she needs some milk.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: Milk.
[00:16:43] Speaker A: So they did that, and Boz went back to Magic Lane because it's the only place in the city worth going. Just kidding. Zachary's work really hard on it. We just are boring.
Le Jolic, the uppity up magic shop. And I saw a lot of cool items. I wrote down most of them.
The coolest ones. Let's see. Let's see.
Oh, so there was one sick item that Zach made that was a necklace called Illmator's invocation. And it was an incredible amount of money, like, thousands of platinum, if I remember correctly. But it gave resistance to necrotic damage. And all your attacks dealt a d six of radiant damage and added a d four to all healing spells. Turned undead. It was crazy.
[00:17:31] Speaker B: It was cool.
[00:17:32] Speaker A: The other cool item in the shop, like, the kind of the crown jewel, was the cordette of the arch druid. And it was like wreaths of thin branches wrapped around each other. And each section was a season, so every quarter was one of the seasons. And it made it to where you could wild shape as a bonus action. And any. The amount of wild shapes a druid could have increased equal your proficiency bonus. It gave multi attack on wild shape. This thing would have been crazy for a moon druid. But the guy ended up not having what Boz was looking for.
So I asked him quite a few times, like, okay, do you have anything that's resistance to cold damage? Do you have anything that, like, does resistance to charming? And the guy was like, I do not know. I do not know. I am humble. Shopkeep. I do not know. He didn't say that. But he was a little.
[00:18:21] Speaker B: I don't know if he was very humble, though.
[00:18:22] Speaker A: No, he was very. He was very smug. You did not.
[00:18:26] Speaker B: You did pull out the sword and show.
[00:18:29] Speaker A: I did. I have the. I have a sword. I pulled out the sword she was very impressed with, and I commented. I threw in a comment that made him feel all, who's he? Goosey you know, because I complimented his shop in a really nice way. Oh, yeah. When I saw ill materials in vacation, I was like, I've been to the depths of the opalescent tome and I've never seen an item as great as this. Oh, man, you should have seen him blood. You should have seen him bless.
[00:18:53] Speaker C: He was like, oh my goodness.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: That's right, that's right.
But I ended up not buying anything until, until I passed by a cool looking set of plate armor on the wall that looked exactly Craig's size.
I ended up finding Craig's armor instead of him.
[00:19:15] Speaker B: Yeah, that was funny.
[00:19:17] Speaker A: I'm trying to find the description.
[00:19:20] Speaker B: I think it's a discord.
[00:19:21] Speaker A: It was Celthic's plate of the bastion and the guy sold it to me cheap because I saw gate. I sold him the ring of quickening and was like, oh, this is the ring that killed Doga.
[00:19:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:19:32] Speaker A: And he was like, oh, I gotta have it. And I was like, hmm. And he also told me that like the armor, it was like had some bonus, but he didn't know all of its abilities.
[00:19:42] Speaker B: I was like, he didn't know everything.
[00:19:44] Speaker A: And he was like, all right, so here's it for this. And I got it for a good deal. It was still like like 200 platinum.
[00:19:49] Speaker B: Did we pay for it?
[00:19:50] Speaker A: It was like 200 platinum, I think. Yeah, it was a lot. It cleared up half my money, but it was cheaper than it should have been because it's basically a set of plate armor that was exactly meant for casters because it gives a plus one to plate armor ac, but it also gives a plus one to spell save DC and spell attack bonus. And so it was, it was pretty.
[00:20:15] Speaker B: Cool, which, oh, that's right. Because I identified it, didn't I? Because we didn't know for sure.
[00:20:23] Speaker A: Yeah. Oh, you also bought a shield at, oh yeah, at Spigot Pauldron.
[00:20:28] Speaker C: Yeah, I did, because it was like I was there getting sized and like talking about the armor, you felt bad.
[00:20:35] Speaker A: For not buying anything.
[00:20:36] Speaker C: And like I was like, oh, oh, I actually, hey, gotta go. I got, I gotta go take this. And then I came back and he was like, oh, oh, oh, wow, that's beautiful armor. Haha. It's like when you get food at a different restaurant and then walk into another restaurant with that food and then don't order anything except like a soda.
It felt like that, like, oh, your armor wasn't good enough for me. I'll come get a shield though.
[00:21:03] Speaker B: Yeah, I remember he looked at you, he was like, oh, so that's some cool armor.
Zach did put in his notes for the listener. Just so you all know, the armor makes Craig.
Craig's ac is now 19 without his shield and 21 with it and his spelling. DC has boosted to 15 and his spell attack bonus is now a plus seven.
[00:21:29] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah. So it's really good. One thing that he also mentioned, this is probably would have been better place at the end of episode 108. But we were kind of exploring magic Lane and port splendid salt, like, closer to nighttime on the way to the warm heart. And there were. There were, like, Eric Cochrane guards that were flowing around with spears. There were different crowds in different races that typically were, like, nocturnal or that only came up at night for, like, social reasons. It was bars that lit up only at night. Some shops only opened up at night. There was, like, a different atmosphere to the area than otherwise. What is it?
[00:22:03] Speaker C: What?
[00:22:04] Speaker B: Buzz, you and I, because we started off this episode from what we did the last time, right, where we had made our little deal with our action figures. And remember, you and I went up to a child at the. Did we go up to a child at the beginning of this and try to just give him one of the actual.
[00:22:22] Speaker A: You did this. You did this.
[00:22:24] Speaker B: I thought you.
[00:22:28] Speaker A: I think it was 108. I think it was actually 100. Wait, yeah, but I remember this. Yeah, you walked up to a kid and you were like, take this action figure. And the kid loved it, but the mom was like, who are you? Stop touching my kid.
[00:22:40] Speaker B: I was like, how? Okay, let's be perfectly clear. Was not touching the child, was speaking to him and gave him a toy and went on my way.
[00:22:51] Speaker A: Yeah, it was very clear that stranger danger for sure.
[00:22:56] Speaker C: It never just starts with that. So. Okay, I'm watching you, right? I'm watching you, ro.
[00:23:04] Speaker A: Ah. All right, so Craig gets his armor. And I think at this point in the episode, we probably had, like, 30 minutes of recording left. Yeah, just like, leave. And so we're like, what else can we do? What else can we do? Zack? Give us another shop. Dance. Dm boy dance.
And he let us know it looked like an abandoned shop with, like, a little sign out front that was like, aldenor's. Oh, man. What was it called?
[00:23:29] Speaker B: Oh, I have it. I drew the. I drew the sign. It said Aldenor, strange adornments with a poorly drawn smiley face. And it was hanging there. It was on like, it looked like it was painted on and written not very well. And it had a bunch of arrows just drawn all around it going in every which direction.
Yeah, that's what I have about. About that thing.
[00:23:57] Speaker C: What I would like to note is that in the game stardew, there is a little house that's, like, so broken down and a little mouse who makes hats and sells them. And I want to explain that this is exactly what I picture that it is a broken down house with, like, a hand painted sign and a little mouse guy. Obviously not a mouse, but, like, same vibes. Same vibes. And anyone who plays Stardew, you get it.
[00:24:23] Speaker B: So he. We go through a big, big. We just keep crawling through dirt tunnel until we get, like, way down in the earth. And we, as we're going down there, we see a bunch of bioluminescent. Fun guys, fun guys, fun guy.
And we went into this space. It opened up into this space.
And there's all these trees and flowers and like, biologic fungi and all. And, like, there's just random items hanging from, like, a branch here or, like, on top of a mound of dirt. Here is something sitting there. And where I think one of us was like, hello. And this little guy came out and it was a mediterranean gecko, man.
And Zach said on the scale of, like, humanoid to animal, like, he was way more to animal. So I would recommend you look up what a mediterranean gecko looks like because it really puts you in the scene.
They're cute little guys, but that is Alden or Alden or. Right?
[00:25:28] Speaker A: Yeah, his name was Alden. He was a druid.
[00:25:31] Speaker B: He was a druid. The best druid ever. Right?
[00:25:33] Speaker A: Is what the lost lands were.
[00:25:35] Speaker B: Something like that.
[00:25:36] Speaker A: Yeah, he knew what the lost lands were.
[00:25:39] Speaker B: So that was from.
Not there, but he was from the hag continents.
[00:25:44] Speaker A: Know where the hags are from.
[00:25:45] Speaker B: But he wasn't a hag.
[00:25:51] Speaker A: From some other empire that was destroying everything.
[00:25:53] Speaker C: So sad.
[00:25:54] Speaker A: And he was very happy and jovial, even though he had, like, seen unimaginable harm and pain.
He also had very weirdly priced items.
[00:26:03] Speaker B: Yeah, my favorite. I do have it quoted. What he said. Everything he showed us, he would say. And you can get this for five copper or a different number, or you can get this for seven silver or a different number. And that was kind of what he said about literally everything. But his prices were.
He doesn't understand money. He was. He was episode three, boss. He did not concept of money. He.
[00:26:33] Speaker A: He had a whip for sale for 113 gold pieces. That was a plus one whip that created one d, twelve butterflies. When cracked.
We purchased some crazy things. We did not realize it at the time, but we basically robbed this man blind. And terms of what we bought.
[00:26:51] Speaker B: Our characters don't know that.
[00:26:53] Speaker A: Our characters don't know that.
[00:26:54] Speaker B: But we know that.
[00:26:55] Speaker A: We bought a broach of shielding for 419 gold. Now this broach gives you resistance to force damage and immunity to magic missile. It's a very hyper specific item.
You really useful against wizards because not a lot of stuff does force damage. This particular item can go up for 7500 gold pieces.
[00:27:16] Speaker B: We got it. 400.
[00:27:18] Speaker A: We got it for 419 gold.
[00:27:21] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:27:22] Speaker A: Next up we got a ring of regeneration and while wearing this ring, you regain one d six hit points every ten minutes. And then eventually after, if you lose a limb or have like grievous wounds, you regrow the limb or the wounds.
[00:27:34] Speaker B: Repair, which that can be very useful.
[00:27:37] Speaker C: We really needed that in the other one shot thing that we did.
[00:27:41] Speaker A: I actually negotiated just item down. I negotiated this item down because it was originally like 3000 gold pieces or something like that. I was like, haha, I want to pay that much. That's all my money. So I was like, how about 2000? And he was like 2082? And I was like, fine. This item is worth up to 50,000 gold pieces.
[00:28:04] Speaker B: I'd also like to let it be known that every time we paid him because we kept like we would try out an item and then we'd decide if we want it or not. And every time we paid him, he'd be like, okay, cool. And then he'd be like, what's that? Try to distract us. And then he would just eat the money.
[00:28:18] Speaker A: Yeah, he would.
[00:28:19] Speaker B: And when he would walk you a jingle a little bit money in his belly.
[00:28:24] Speaker A: True. Yep, yep. Oh, we also bought a bonsai tree that go, that grows good berries. Like 37 gold for 37 gold. And we brought, we bought a boot that does force a boot. Yes, we did buy the boot.
[00:28:39] Speaker B: It's a left boot. Mind you, it does.
[00:28:42] Speaker A: It is a boot wrapped in some kind of paper with runes on it. And if you kick someone on a hit, if they feel their save, it kicks them like one d twenty who we tested it. And if you give you on somebody, they go one d one hundred feet away.
[00:29:01] Speaker C: I don't think it worked on.
[00:29:02] Speaker A: No, we missed on Craig because he's beefy boy.
[00:29:05] Speaker B: No, but Craig took like eight points of damage, which was crazy.
[00:29:09] Speaker A: Oh, yeah.
Yeah. So it's a pretty good boot. It's a pretty good boot. It's a get out of my face boot. It is. Also, we came up with a cool idea. If someone is wearing, if the person being kicked is wearing the amulet that.
[00:29:22] Speaker B: Wasn'T a good idea.
[00:29:22] Speaker A: And then gets kicked with the boot. They have resistance to the force damage. Okay. They got resistance to it.
[00:29:28] Speaker B: So you're wearing the ring. Yeah.
[00:29:30] Speaker A: Yeah. So, I mean, there's something to consider if you want to kick someone across the ravine or something.
[00:29:35] Speaker B: Also, Ro ended up purchasing the choker of useless disguise.
[00:29:40] Speaker A: True. And what does that do?
[00:29:41] Speaker B: She needed another necklace because they gave him. Oh, we did get. We did. Finally. We traded him the pendant of revelry for what it was for one of those items you just named, I think, the boot. Yeah, because he was really excited about that, and he ended up, like, standing there dancing for, like, ten minutes straight, and we just had to watch him.
[00:30:00] Speaker A: Like, breaking, break dancing.
[00:30:03] Speaker B: But Ro needed another necklace because she got rid of the pendant of robbery, obviously, and so the weight was off, and she got the choker of useless disguise, which transforms your voice. Correct.
[00:30:15] Speaker A: True.
[00:30:15] Speaker B: Yeah.
To just this really random voice. And I'm not going to do it here, but one day, you'll hear it and you'll be confused.
And the other item. Ro pursed for eight gold, plus a flower. He said, if you give me a flower, I'll give you it for eight gold, which. I gave him a flower out of my hair, told him not to eat it, and he ended up planting it. And there is now a bush tree thing in his grows row flowers.
[00:30:46] Speaker A: So that's row clones. It grows.
[00:30:48] Speaker B: So, you know, Landon gave some of his hair to me. Score. I gave mine to this guy. So happen, honestly. Oh. Oh. But for the eight gold and the flower, I got a snuggle arrow, which, if you shoot someone with this, they will want to. They will chase after you until they can hug you. You. Right.
[00:31:07] Speaker A: Or hold your hand, I thought.
[00:31:08] Speaker B: Or hold your hand, I think. Yeah, one of those. So, yeah, maybe she can hit the king with that arrow.
[00:31:14] Speaker A: Some things that we did not buy was Alden or his lovely gardening hat. The armor of explanation. And, yeah, I think that was it. We basically cleared his shop out.
[00:31:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:31:24] Speaker A: I'm scared to find out where he got this stuff.
[00:31:26] Speaker B: Yeah, we did.
[00:31:28] Speaker A: He did it down and murdered. Because 50 pieces is a bounty, my friend.
[00:31:33] Speaker B: He was just kind of like, I just found him. Right? Isn't that what he said?
[00:31:37] Speaker A: Yeah, he was like, I just found him.
[00:31:38] Speaker B: Yeah. And we were like, okay.
[00:31:40] Speaker A: Also, he does not own this shop. He dug a hole in the ground and is squatting in this shop.
He does not own this real estate or rent it. He is there illegally.
[00:31:50] Speaker B: He didn't know what a bank was either.
[00:31:51] Speaker A: He did not know what a bank was, and I don't think he knows what money is because he eats it, dude.
[00:31:58] Speaker C: Zach was like, I want them to have this. How can I make that happen?
[00:32:02] Speaker B: I need Zach to do, like, if y'all do. Do the madame me score dream. I need him to give the listeners just, like, a 32nd pitch of this guy's voice, though, because I can't describe it, but it was amazing.
[00:32:17] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh.
You know, weird. We need to have him as the next NPC for one of our letter to questions so that, like, Zachary has. Exactly.
[00:32:29] Speaker A: All right, we're banning together the next letter question we're gonna have answer for Aldenor.
[00:32:33] Speaker B: Agree.
[00:32:35] Speaker A: We get to dm that part.
[00:32:37] Speaker B: We're dming now.
[00:32:38] Speaker A: I think that's about the gist of it. After we left the shop, we wrapped up pretty quickly, and I honestly don't know what we were doing after that. Probably leaving soon. Yeah, because Craig got his armor. I'm one less sure. I don't. I never found a replacement magic item. I mean, I guess the ring of regeneration would be a good thing to have on, but.
Yeah, I don't know.
[00:33:01] Speaker B: That'll be really nice if one of us does lose a limb, though.
[00:33:06] Speaker A: Yeah. Because I don't think. It's not known. I really don't like Grievous wounds. It's not my favorite homebrew rule, so I am very thankful for Zack to give me a ring that just kind of, like, circumvents it after seven days.
[00:33:20] Speaker B: I agree.
[00:33:22] Speaker A: So, wait, what about Grievous?
[00:33:25] Speaker C: Grievous wounds?
[00:33:26] Speaker A: Grievous wounds is the rule where if you take enough damage, you get permanent bodily harm. It's how you lost your beard.
[00:33:31] Speaker C: Yeah.
[00:33:32] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:33:33] Speaker A: So, yes, I'm very excited to have the ring of regeneration. Thank you, Zachary. Yes.
[00:33:39] Speaker B: That'll be really nice if something bad happens to one of us and one of us loses a finger or an arm, because for several of us without.
If one of us lost, like, an arm or a hand, like, I wouldn't be able to cast.
[00:33:54] Speaker C: Yeah. So, my gosh, I wouldn't be able to hold my shield and fight.
[00:33:59] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:34:00] Speaker A: Jackie, you don't have to play good music. You just have to strum the loot.
[00:34:04] Speaker C: Just use your.
[00:34:07] Speaker A: We can, like, hot glue the loot to your tunic, and you can just chuck the strings.
[00:34:14] Speaker B: Oh, man. She plays it with her nose. She holds the cords down and strums it with her nose.
[00:34:21] Speaker C: No, you just. You just, like, have to sit down and use your feet to, like, stroll.
[00:34:26] Speaker B: Ro would do it. She'd do it, man.
Y'all could put a little, like, oh, Landon, wow.
[00:34:35] Speaker A: I've been talking, man, and I forgot that I was on mute. It's okay.
[00:34:38] Speaker B: That's why we were just, like, talking over you.
[00:34:40] Speaker A: Y'all were saying the same thing I was saying, by the way, I was degree.
[00:34:44] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:34:44] Speaker A: But I would say, you know, the saddest, one of the saddest scenes of movie I've ever seen is from that movie soul surfer. Do you remember that?
[00:34:50] Speaker C: Oh, yeah.
[00:34:52] Speaker A: She was like, her. One of her big things was like, I play the ukulele. And then after the shark attacked her, she went back to her room and picked it up with one arm and just kind of looked at it for, like, 30 seconds, and then it changed scenes, and I was like, wow. Yeah, wow. I feel like that would be ro.
[00:35:07] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:35:08] Speaker A: So.
[00:35:09] Speaker B: But now we don't have to, because.
[00:35:10] Speaker A: We don't have to.
We got the ring of regeneration. I hope that lady is doing well and hope she's happy right now. Now I have that book. It was an inspirational story.
[00:35:22] Speaker B: I also had her perfume.
[00:35:23] Speaker A: She had a perfume. Oh, she's doing great. If she had a perfume line, she's doing great.
[00:35:27] Speaker B: I had her perfume as a kid, and it smelled amazing. It smelled like a day at the beach, but not bad. Like, it smelled like pineapple and coconut and.
[00:35:35] Speaker A: Okay, good stuff. Okay, cool. All right, happy note. Congrats on the perfume line.
Oh, yeah, we got to see the line. Life is an incredible story, and you're an important part of it. Say with me, guys, skip any wacky.
