167. Between a Rock and a Dead Place

[00:00:03] Speaker A: Welcome back, everyone, to Barely dnd. This is your favorite Barely DND podcast. We are in an evil, evil land. We're getting ready to do some more walking, and I really think it'll be a day just of only walking. I don't want to pee in my pants tonight. What's our letter question? [00:00:31] Speaker B: Zach, Abby. I just want to make this clear. No notes. Phenomenal intro. That was really good. No notes. That was really, really good. Our editor question is going to be. Oh, and welcome back to Accidental Adventures. You know how there's that, like, drawer in your kitchen that everyone owns or, like, in your house somewhere where it's like, there's just stuff in there in the beginning. In the beginning, it had clear purpose, but years in, no matter how many times you've moved, you have a junk drawer. What's in your character's drunk door? Drunk drawer. [00:01:07] Speaker C: Drunk, drunk. [00:01:11] Speaker D: Drawer. [00:01:12] Speaker B: Mine's a drunk drawer. But I don't. I'm tired, guys. I talk all the way. [00:01:16] Speaker E: I think I know what's in yours. [00:01:18] Speaker C: No, what. [00:01:22] Speaker B: I was doing during class was some word that I just couldn't say, and I tried it, like, four times, and I was like, all right, guys, we're moving on. And we just kept going. But who's the dmnpc? [00:01:36] Speaker A: Just. Just kidding. Just kidding. Just nifty. [00:01:40] Speaker B: Oh, wow. What a poll. [00:01:44] Speaker D: Beans. [00:01:44] Speaker A: It's just beans. Beans. [00:01:47] Speaker B: Yes. I can. I can do. I can do nifties. [00:01:52] Speaker D: All right. [00:01:53] Speaker B: Excellent. Pp. [00:01:55] Speaker A: Boo. [00:01:55] Speaker B: Boo. Let's start with. I don't know. Let's start with the person with the most monochromatic background. That's two different shades. [00:02:06] Speaker D: Is it me? [00:02:08] Speaker B: Oh, it's Jackie because of the white and the yellow. It's crazy. I didn't even notice. Jackie, go get him. Jiggle. [00:02:12] Speaker A: That doesn't make any sense. [00:02:13] Speaker C: Monochromatic. It's just all yellow. [00:02:17] Speaker A: It's literally two chromes. There's two colors. [00:02:20] Speaker B: I said. [00:02:25] Speaker C: Okay, what is in Ro. [00:02:26] Speaker B: AB's mad for you? [00:02:30] Speaker C: Drunk door drawer. I think she would have a lot of candy and candy wrappers from past candy that she didn't throw away. She just threw away. Stuck the wrappers back in some loose loot strings, old and new, because she doesn't want to throw the old ones away. [00:02:54] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. I buy that. So hard. [00:02:57] Speaker C: This may be from personal experience. [00:03:03] Speaker A: Some. [00:03:04] Speaker C: Some loose coins. There would be some loose coins. She would have weird trinkets and rocks that she's picked up or stolen from Craig every now and then to. To save for herself and then threw in this drawer, it. There would be. There would be some dice for beggar's hope. Like, it. It started out as probably her drawer for her, like, loot supplies, like, for, like, to tune up her loot and all. Like, maybe some wood oil and stuff like that. And then it just turned into, like, her, like, obsessive compulsive little trinket drawer. [00:03:46] Speaker B: Yeah, Obsessive compulsive drawer. [00:03:48] Speaker C: Her obsessive compulsive trinket drawer. [00:03:51] Speaker B: Phenomenal, Jackie. That's so good. I really, really love that. Excellent. Okay, let's go to. To Mickle. [00:04:04] Speaker E: So actually, the thing came to mind sometimes. Sometimes when Craig is helping Spaghuber cook or do things, he doesn't know what to do with the. The scraps of the vegetables that he's cutting. Oh, no. [00:04:21] Speaker B: Good. [00:04:24] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:04:24] Speaker E: He. And he's afraid to ask. And so he's just been putting them in the drawers of the kitchen, hoping that that was the right choice. [00:04:34] Speaker A: Oh, I know. [00:04:36] Speaker E: Comes behind you. [00:04:39] Speaker B: Really something. [00:04:43] Speaker E: So you open up the drawers, and there's always, like, scraps of, like, onions and bell peppers and, like. And some of them are growing. Some of them are growing new plants if they're too long. [00:04:53] Speaker A: There's like, baby garlic and baby onions. [00:04:57] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:05:01] Speaker B: So that's awful. [00:05:01] Speaker E: He's composting or. No, he is just composting. That is the way. [00:05:07] Speaker B: Meanwhile, Goober can't figure out why Roberts is constantly trying to get in the drawers. [00:05:13] Speaker A: Roberts, get out of the kitchen. [00:05:15] Speaker E: Robert. [00:05:18] Speaker B: I also love that it's Robert's plural now, for some reason. Roberts, Grickle, would you. What is Greta having? Her drunk drawer. [00:05:29] Speaker C: Drunk drawer. [00:05:30] Speaker B: Imagine junk drawer. Dad, I. Guys, I'm tired. I see a lot of words. [00:05:39] Speaker A: I think would have little bones, some herbs. [00:05:42] Speaker C: Little bones, and some. [00:05:45] Speaker E: Some bones, some herbs, and some herbs. [00:05:48] Speaker A: Some widow bones. So she's whittled. [00:05:50] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. [00:05:54] Speaker C: Tag territory. [00:05:55] Speaker A: Like, loose paper. Like. Like, like just notes that she's taken. And, like, she, like, tore out a piece of her notebook, wrote something down, forgot about it, put it in the drawer. So loose paper, like broken pens, like an ink bottle has spilled in there a couple times. So there's, like. It's kind of inky, and then, like, like, rocks and twigs and, like, a leaf that she meant to sketch. But yeah, so. And little bones. She would have little bones. I feel. [00:06:34] Speaker B: Okay. Phenomenal. Also. Daniel, that looks so good. Let's go with. Who's up next? Let's go with. Oh, I can't just put the first letter of your name at the beginning of Ickle. Let's go with. I got Abby. She almost spit out her soup. We'll go with the RNG from Wrong game. We're going with Regiggle. [00:07:06] Speaker D: I think it's a lot of. [00:07:11] Speaker B: Getting that joke seven seconds later. [00:07:14] Speaker D: So, like, it's almost like a drunk drawer in its truest sense of. Just didn't find the trash can. And so there's just probably like bits of rope that he's cut off and he's put into the drawer, being like, I'll use that later. And like, you know, whatever versions of rubber bands and like rings that he's found and like, things that could be useful, definitely could be useful one day, but never really are. Just like nails that, oh, I could use this in the ship to, you know, put a board in one time. No, you're not. [00:07:51] Speaker B: You're just keeping it. [00:07:53] Speaker D: And so. [00:07:54] Speaker A: No, you're not. You're just keeping it. I love that. [00:07:57] Speaker B: That is so, so true. [00:08:00] Speaker D: And I think it's. It's just like a lot of things that also probably. He used to like, hoard in his ship in his sailing days, but, like, probably doesn't need anymore. You know, being a world class adventurer, you don't really need these things anymore. [00:08:14] Speaker B: But let go of. [00:08:15] Speaker D: Can't let go of the hobby. It's just like, this is such a good piece of rope. I can't. [00:08:20] Speaker B: One day I have to. Oh, my goodness. [00:08:22] Speaker D: One day I'll put this on a something. I'll need it. You'll see. [00:08:25] Speaker B: That's not the truth. That's what it is. If that's not the truth, I don't know what it is. [00:08:31] Speaker A: The problem with that is like once in a. Like once or twice a year you do use one of the things. [00:08:38] Speaker B: Yes. [00:08:38] Speaker A: And then it's all over. Yes, Once. It's like once every two years is enough. Enough to validate that cycle because you validate the fixation. [00:08:46] Speaker B: And now you're like, well, now I can't quit. Yep. [00:08:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:08:49] Speaker B: Lickle. What does Boz have in his junk? [00:08:52] Speaker A: That was bad. Why did you say that? [00:08:54] Speaker B: Sorry. [00:08:55] Speaker E: Excuse me. [00:08:56] Speaker F: Every birthday car that he's ever received. [00:09:02] Speaker B: That's both funny and sweet. Okay, I had nifty. At any given time, something somewhere between 13 and 22 spoons. Loose spoons. Not in something. Loose spoons. They are different. They don't match. A couple pieces from a broken bowl. Indeed. Many beans, dried beans, Some in bags, a number in bags that they've escaped from. He also has like randomly, like a Couple of grossly valuable items. Like, there is just some loose diamond dust that's now truly dust in the drawer. So like 2 or 300 gold worth of something that's just dust now, and you'd be challenged to ever collect it, and it's just been wasted. There's like fully a gold ring that's halfway through enchanting. That's just sitting in the drawer and probably never going to get utilized. There's a single scale, not like a dragon scale, but like a big, like, broken fragment of, like a plate kind of scale of something that's like a deep, whitish gray that's in there. He also has a little tooth. A very, very, very long, sharp canine is in the drawer. And he has a single little, like, wire ring. And those are the different. And as well as like 9 or 11, like, little scraps of paper with, like, scribbled notes and ideas written on that are just shoved in there that he's never going to read again. All right, that is his happy. Calm down. All right? We're going to get to the session. Without further ado, is. Hey, man. Plenty of stuff left. Okay, Moving on. Abby's spamming the chat. All right. Without further ado. Note taking, nerds. This is episode 167. [00:11:03] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. Six. Seven. Jackie. [00:11:08] Speaker D: We'Re adults. [00:11:10] Speaker C: I am the oldest person here. I'm so sorry I did that. I'll see myself. [00:11:15] Speaker D: It really has hit the old people in our world. [00:11:19] Speaker E: You know, my pastor just in order to not make that book, he said seven. Six. Seven or six. [00:11:25] Speaker C: No, no. [00:11:26] Speaker A: And, like, no, no. [00:11:27] Speaker E: That we, like, obliterated him for that in our young adults group jive is awesome. [00:11:32] Speaker B: So I'm adding on hit points to the thing. The question is, could I add 67 hit points on. [00:11:39] Speaker A: No, no. We're sorry, teacher. We're sorry. [00:11:43] Speaker C: I'm sorry. [00:11:44] Speaker E: I take it. [00:11:46] Speaker C: I take it back. [00:11:48] Speaker B: Yeah. Coward. [00:11:49] Speaker D: Do it or not. [00:11:51] Speaker B: I can't tell you how many times I've heard. [00:11:53] Speaker F: I dare you. I dare you, Zach. [00:11:55] Speaker D: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Landon. [00:11:57] Speaker B: Fair enough. [00:11:58] Speaker D: Hell, yeah. [00:12:00] Speaker B: That's crazy, because it was an ungodly amount of hit points before. I'm actually gonna need a calculator. [00:12:06] Speaker F: Hey, what's. [00:12:06] Speaker A: What's. What's what? [00:12:07] Speaker F: What's a little bit more, you know. [00:12:08] Speaker B: You know, if we could. If we could do it, we can do 67 more. I think this is now the most raw hit points of an enemy that. [00:12:19] Speaker A: What's the title? [00:12:20] Speaker B: Maybe the war have fought something with more episodes with more points. [00:12:24] Speaker A: So the Episode. [00:12:25] Speaker B: I've decided to change the name. Not as of just now, but while we were talking at the beginning. Episode 167, Between a Rock and a Dead Place. [00:12:36] Speaker D: Oh, nice one. Nice name. [00:12:38] Speaker B: Oh, no, no, that's too long of a title, isn't it? [00:12:40] Speaker E: I like. [00:12:41] Speaker A: No, I'm already written it down. [00:12:43] Speaker B: Okay, Between a rock. [00:12:44] Speaker D: He's already reading it. [00:12:46] Speaker A: I'm already written it down. [00:12:48] Speaker B: Rock and a Dead Place. All right, the date is. This is a level 14 adventure. The date is 34.88 PB. CB call the 10th. Ah, it is. I'm. Then you all are. Let's get some. Let's get some mood music on, guys. Fun guys. [00:13:14] Speaker C: My face is so hot. [00:13:15] Speaker B: It has been hours. Oh, it picked up right where it was in the song. Let's start at the beginning. You all are traveling through the jagged sharp throat of a ravine that is this like tear in the earth. Dark obsidian climbs up in walls around you. Sharp and red tongues of liquid heat pool and sift through the earth. Not everywhere, but fairly often. It's not the worst thing to get around, but it is truly painful getting near them sometimes. And every once in a while we need to jump over it. It like hurts even getting near the. The tongues of lava. There's these little like streams of them is painful. To get close to them hurts you. And the larger pools that gather sometimes you don't get anywhere near. Being in their proximity is painful. The dark sky is black and heavy and unrelenting overhead, as if it has no intention of ever demonstrating the sun to you. Even during the day you feel like you're in ease evening. It's so dim in this landscape. You can only imagine how black this place is at night. How truly lightless. And every once in a while the landscape is just lit up by as black light as red lightning claps the sky overhead and there's this brief flash and then it goes back to dawn. You all know you're headed north and you're trusting in this place as Ro guides you, her keen mind sensing and remembering where north might be traveling toward it. As you all travel. Is the party doing anything. Crunching through ash and rubble and stone. And also Boss's boots are going as his little shoes are jingling. Just walking. Just walking. Excellent. Say anything else, just don't say six, seven. That's the one thing I know what it would do to you. [00:15:24] Speaker D: I. I think Ron Grimm would try to like, after all the singing has stopped and like, it's obviously gone to more morbid territory. I think you'd just be like, oh, that's right. [00:15:34] Speaker B: We left off on you singing. [00:15:36] Speaker D: We did live with our on singing. He's just like, I. I feel like this is a place no mortal should ever be dwelling. [00:15:53] Speaker C: I'd like to know what it looked like before the hateful. It might have been a beautiful place. [00:16:11] Speaker D: Sure it was. America seem to have made good things. [00:16:18] Speaker A: Is practicing like just like almost meditatively but not in like a fun happy way and like a, like a, like a coping mechanism way. She is just like deep breathing just like, like trying to count her heartbeats and just trying to like square breathe her way into being. Okay. [00:16:43] Speaker B: Tello has his eyes are very sharp. He's just scanning everything all around. He's. It's cool because he's like keeping the slow, very careful pace. But your party has to travel as fast as it's slowest members. So everybody's just keeping pace with Greta and Ro with their tiny little legs. And so he's like walking slowly. But that's a fair walk with you all. So he's just like treading slowly and he has. He has a bolt knocked in his new enchanted crossbow. You get the feeling he's getting a lot of comfort from having a magical weapon. Now he's just scanning everything around looking and he keeps nervously thumbing a knife every once in a while. It's Greta and Ro with the highest passive perceptions as you all tread and tread and tread through this throat of death. You all notice something catches your ear as the pitch of the ground that you're walking on very momentarily shifts the crunch though of your boots in the stone. A very hard place to be stealthy. Every once in a while you'll get a. As if you're standing on something with a different density or texture as you look down each of you at slightly different moments but fairly similarly. It's this funny little moment where if someone could look at you all from a distance, they'd notice both grow and red out like moments apart from each other. Train their eyes on the ground and you have a really hard time making out in the dim shade what's below your boots. Could I get a perception check from either of you or from one of you? It's not too high of an easy which everyone wants to I can get. Okay. [00:18:28] Speaker A: I got a 16. [00:18:34] Speaker B: Roe. You notice easily enough as well as you train your eyes tiny little fragments of bone and not here where you are as you train your eyes. Not a ton, but little bits over there and then way up There. And as you look back, some behind you as well, you scan your eyes along the walls every once in a while. There's one in the rock face of the wall, just a little piece jutting out. It's scattered among the landscape. [00:19:11] Speaker C: What kind of bones? Like, all kinds. [00:19:15] Speaker B: Fragments are so broken and small, it's really unclear. Just the fenestrated, bleached white remnant of life. [00:19:32] Speaker A: They're. They're bleached by the sun. [00:19:34] Speaker B: I mean, boom. I'm just using romantic language. [00:19:40] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:19:45] Speaker C: I kind of. I elbow Tello and I'm like, I can't point. [00:19:54] Speaker B: He, like. He, like, jumps just a little bit and he goes, sorry, sorry. No, no, it's okay. [00:19:59] Speaker C: Kind of point to it. I don't even say it. I just, like, point to him. [00:20:03] Speaker B: Oh, lovely. And then he, like, curses. A really foul curse in insinian. Or that Greta picks up, and he. He just, like, tests the tension on the strings of the crossbow a little bit and then goes back to scanning the cliffs. Can I. [00:20:21] Speaker E: Can I just say that because Craig grew up and, like, was very familiar with living underneath ground level and the caves and stuff, this is, like the upside down of his world. This is the, like, dimension. So he feels, like, a weird sense of, like, familiarity with the environment. [00:20:45] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:20:46] Speaker E: Also, like, a sense of unease that this would be what it was like if his, like, home was taken over by Zorgram. Like, if his home was taken over, like, this is how it would feel. So he's, like, walking forward. I think that he's near the front. He's, like, walking forward, sensing, am I. Am I right in that, or did you have any place somewhere else? [00:21:10] Speaker B: No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, first of all, where you all say you are is where you are, so. Absolutely. It was just curious because I had also placed you at the front. I figured that's where you'd be. [00:21:21] Speaker E: But I'd like to think that he's taking notice of. Can I say he's. He's like. Because he's familiar with this kind of place, he's, like, taking notice of his surroundings in a way that's like. That's like a regular. I don't know. I think he's just paying attention to things that are irregular and things that are regular in his surroundings of what you would expect in this terrain. And what is more from this land. [00:21:54] Speaker B: And what's most unsettling, Craig, as you study all this stone, kind of. You can't help but drink it in. So much of it is almost right. So much of it are the pieces of a landscape, but it's been deteriorated in a very unnatural way. Magic ripped this place apart and the destruction of what should be is clear all around you. Craig, as you scan your environment, could you give me a perception check? [00:22:21] Speaker E: Yeah, absolutely. Do I get this at advantage or just regular? [00:22:29] Speaker B: I mean, there's no mechanical reason for you to have advantage. But I liked what you said so much, so you can take it. [00:22:41] Speaker E: That's good. Cuz that would be a 25. [00:22:50] Speaker B: Okay. All right, Craig. Craig, you look all around the landscape. Every once in a while, I'm being warned about the skies. You guys look up, everyone's of the crowds of the clouds, but none of those dark shapes have returned. And Craig, you're, you're trimming the line of these like shelves of obsidian that jut out from the walls as you do. You're fascinated by the way they break at the top of the cliff, the way that they like shatter and drop so suddenly. Because usually at the edge of a cliff you get like, like gradual weathering, right? Because wind has to. That's not a rock. And Craig, you can't help but stop with your foot as you train your eye silhouetted by the shadow from behind. As the light of the day is really fading down and starting to get hard to make anything out here. There is something, someone at the top of the cliff looking down at you. And Craig is you. Taking a sharp breath. You like whip your eyes around and you look, there's, there's a couple of these shapes. Wait, there's a couple of these shapes along the edge of the cliff, watching quietly. [00:24:21] Speaker E: Hey guys, keep walking a little normally, but there's some, there's some people watching us from above right now. Don't look too hard. I don't want them to freak out and start attacking. But if we could just kind of start talking about what the heck we're gonna do about it, that'd be great. [00:24:48] Speaker B: Okay, as you all look up. Oh man. Yeah, there's a humanoid kind of shape there, Another one there, another one there. Someone thinks to look to the other side. They're on the other side. They're on either side of the ravine. They're lining you. Another one there, another one there. And then suddenly there's a flash of red lightning from overhead. And as they illuminate the space. [00:25:19] Speaker E: Wait. [00:25:20] Speaker B: Oh no. [00:25:20] Speaker E: Can I say I have prepared. I've like got my weapon out and stuff. And I'm like, I've already. Like, once I saw them, I started to like prepare defense. Question. Because I. I did see them before they. [00:25:37] Speaker B: They acted. You can. Okay, I'm gonna make a check. Go ahead and do that. [00:25:46] Speaker A: Okay. [00:25:48] Speaker D: I just say you take right Craig. I'll take left. [00:25:53] Speaker B: Craig. As you draw your sword and begin, I assume you're using cosmic instrument. Yeah. As you draw your blade and begin preparing magic over it, you hear from above a voice that I have a component. And a couple other voices respond. And you watch as little lights of magic light up from above. You get the feeling that they saw you take out your sword and begin to cast some sort of a magic over it. And right as the lightning flashes that I was describing and all the light lights up. Oh, no. 1, 2, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Kuo Toa lining the cliff's edge. And right as the lightning flashes, one of them points a rod down toward you and launches a guiding bolt. And I need everyone to roll in. [00:26:46] Speaker C: What? [00:26:47] Speaker A: What? [00:26:50] Speaker C: Not what I expected. [00:26:53] Speaker E: Kuo Toa. [00:26:54] Speaker A: No, we're not. Michael. Michael. [00:26:56] Speaker E: We are not. [00:26:57] Speaker A: Michael. We are. [00:26:59] Speaker B: I mean, Micah's right. Micah's right. There is a very small group of. [00:27:03] Speaker C: Them. [00:27:06] Speaker B: With the entire empire. [00:27:10] Speaker C: Hey. [00:27:10] Speaker E: Oh, you said roll initiative. [00:27:14] Speaker B: Yep. [00:27:17] Speaker C: And what if I say no? [00:27:18] Speaker B: You know what? Actually, hold on, hold on. I'm gonna change. I'm gonna change the song. I'm gonna come back to this one later. [00:27:27] Speaker C: This never happens. [00:27:30] Speaker E: Okay? [00:27:30] Speaker B: Okay. So many things going on. Okay. And be patient with me. I'm going to be running an ungodly amount of details here. [00:27:38] Speaker C: You said nine. That's crazy. [00:27:43] Speaker D: Crazy, man. You're crazy. [00:27:45] Speaker C: That's. Chris, you crazy. [00:27:46] Speaker F: I'm gonna use my seventh level spell to do conjure animals. So just letting you know so we can get that prepped, too, because we're. [00:27:52] Speaker B: Probably gonna have a lot of wolves. [00:27:54] Speaker F: A lot of wolves. [00:27:56] Speaker D: A lot of wolves. Yeah. [00:27:59] Speaker F: How about this? What if we call it even and I eliminate all my wolves and you eliminate five boys? How about that? I can summon 12. I can summon lots of wolves, and I can have them all do lots of things. [00:28:13] Speaker B: I think it's only landing as a place player who would be like, okay, got it. Action, economy blackmail. [00:28:21] Speaker F: You added 67 hit points. I feel like cards are on the table at the. [00:28:26] Speaker B: I want to be clear. Jackie added 67 hit points. No, I didn't. I also added know that would happen. I also added 11, and then Landon went nerd do 67. That's land. [00:28:39] Speaker F: If you go say you do, then do it is all I'm saying. [00:28:43] Speaker B: You gotta do it. [00:28:44] Speaker F: You gotta do It. Because if you. You wouldn't do something you didn't think we couldn't do. [00:28:48] Speaker E: Like. [00:28:48] Speaker F: Like, if you thought 67 hit points would doom the party, we'd be dead. [00:28:54] Speaker B: Okay. Okay. So again, okay, that's this roll. For this, I have new combat music, by the way. [00:29:06] Speaker C: I do like this. [00:29:08] Speaker B: Isn't it great? You right now. Okay. Holy cow. I'm rolling some high initiatives. [00:29:20] Speaker C: Get some help. [00:29:25] Speaker B: Oh, shoot. This is crazy. [00:29:30] Speaker C: Guys, I don't like this. [00:29:32] Speaker A: No. [00:29:34] Speaker B: Okay. All right. What? Everybody get on initiative. [00:29:38] Speaker C: I don't like. I'm seeing what everyone else got. I got a 21. Chat. [00:29:43] Speaker B: Oh, okay. [00:29:45] Speaker C: Say it out loud. [00:29:48] Speaker A: I got a 16. Greta got a 16. Tello got a 6. [00:29:53] Speaker B: And I got a 9. [00:29:56] Speaker C: And I got a 21. What is happening? Happening? [00:29:58] Speaker F: I got a 17. [00:30:00] Speaker C: I don't like these odds. [00:30:03] Speaker D: I got a 16. [00:30:03] Speaker B: The battle map is up. [00:30:10] Speaker A: Well, I'm going to see. [00:30:11] Speaker B: And I don't mean to brag, but it is awesome. [00:30:13] Speaker C: It is. That is. [00:30:14] Speaker A: That is so horrifying. I'm going to poop in. [00:30:17] Speaker C: Why is it. Is it glitchy for anyone else or is that my own? My own. [00:30:21] Speaker B: It's, like, kind of dull, right? [00:30:23] Speaker E: Yeah. [00:30:25] Speaker B: Yeah. I think this has to be one of the best maps that ever done, too. [00:30:29] Speaker D: I think it's all Zach's fault. [00:30:31] Speaker B: We boosted. [00:30:32] Speaker F: If we boosted the server, it looked better, but I know we're all poor. [00:30:37] Speaker C: How do you boost the server? [00:30:39] Speaker F: You know how to boost the server? [00:30:40] Speaker C: Yeah. It's been a minute. I'll figure it out. [00:30:42] Speaker F: You pay money. [00:30:44] Speaker C: Yeah, I know money. [00:30:45] Speaker B: It's such a bummer because I think this is one of the best. I'll send you guys pictures after. [00:30:50] Speaker E: Yeah, send us a. [00:30:51] Speaker A: Send us a real picture of it. [00:30:55] Speaker D: Not one of those fake ones. [00:30:58] Speaker C: We need to know. [00:30:59] Speaker B: Imagine it being really awesome. Anyway, boss, would you get on your initiative 17. Okay. And run 16? Okay. Ro, what is your dexterity? [00:31:16] Speaker C: My deck? Like my modifier or what? [00:31:19] Speaker B: Yes. [00:31:21] Speaker C: Plus one. I have a 12 decks. Are you asking for my saving throw or just my normal. [00:31:26] Speaker B: Nope. [00:31:27] Speaker C: Okay. [00:31:28] Speaker B: I have to figure out who goes first. They also roll the 21. [00:31:31] Speaker C: Oh, no. [00:31:34] Speaker B: Okay, so that's that. Then we have how am I. [00:31:39] Speaker C: How I never in the top three people going? [00:31:43] Speaker B: Yeah. This initiative did not go yalls way. Let me tell you. This initiative did not go your way. Okay, next is gonna be Bozem. What's your dex modifier? [00:31:59] Speaker D: Plus two. [00:32:01] Speaker B: Greta, what's yours? [00:32:04] Speaker A: My dex modifier is plus two. [00:32:07] Speaker B: I'm gonna need some Rollies here, Rollies. Need you guys to roll off. [00:32:13] Speaker A: Eight. [00:32:14] Speaker B: I got a 10. What'd you get, Abby? [00:32:22] Speaker A: I got an eight. [00:32:23] Speaker B: Okay, Rondgrim. Then Greta, the most thrilling part of combat. While the DM slowly rights initiatives. Okay, but now it's getting. Now it's getting a whole lot simpler. Okay, that's this guy. Then. Then we have. Okay, then we have Craig. And then bizarrely very last initiative is tell. Okay, excellent. Right up at the top. My goodness, that map is so glitchy. I'm going to piss someone else's pants. Literally the best run I've ever done. But that's fine. Who cares? I'll. Well, I can't send you guys pictures cuz this is my phone doing it anyway. We'll move on. We'll move on. You have a general layout. I will describe it with my wordsies. So where you all are in. In your position, you have. Hold on, let me. Let me try something really quickly. I'm gonna try moving it down closer towards. Okay, did that help at all? Not at all. Good. Okay. At the top of initiative. Well, actually first someone fired off a spell at Craig. So Craig, what's your AC? [00:33:58] Speaker A: 21. [00:34:00] Speaker B: Well that's a 26 to hit. So you are going to get hit with a third level guiding bolt. Abby, how many D6s is that? [00:34:10] Speaker A: A guiding bolt is 46, right? Yes. Radiant damage. [00:34:18] Speaker B: Two more. So I need 66 radiant baby. Okay, that is 10, 20, 27 points of radiant damage come blasting into you, Craig, as this line of sort of like. [00:34:38] Speaker E: Hey, wait. [00:34:39] Speaker B: Fiery leather. Nope, you go ahead. This line of fiery red light burns into you and sears against your chest. And you are the next attack to hit you has advantage. Okay, now at the very top of initiative are so all around you, Kuo to and foes line the cliffs. Having followed you, hunted you somehow. Oh Carcon must be getting desperate. And as you look up at the cliffs, you recognize Kuoa, the squat, muscular, purplish fish people. But this is. This is different. It's not all the faces you recognize. You can see these two pale white tokens here. And I know they're not too clear in the glitchy map, but these two pale white tokens look like priests, but more heavily adorned than you typically recognize. Then this large white token here is this Kuo Toa who is like draped in like gold and silver jewelry and has these like highly iconographied like scars across their scaled body. And their fins are longer and sharper. Then we have here these three sort of like silvery, blackish colored ones are Kuo Toa warriors. But they're like, they have, like, war paint all over them in red. And they have these really large weapons that look like they're made from, like, massive teeth that have, like, symbology written on them. And they are, like, more muscular than you're used to. Then there are these. These three, like, large, brownish golden ones are. They're like Kuo Toa. If they started to carcinize, if they started to become crustacean. Their round fish like heads are squaring and growing hard spined points. Their hands are replaced by massive pinching claws. And they have hard armor protruding from their body. It is these who are first in initiative. So each of these three. [00:36:53] Speaker C: Oh, I don't like that. [00:36:55] Speaker B: No, sorry, sorry. It's no big deal. Each of these three. I don't have enough rings for this, so I'm gonna use a couple rings I don't typically utilize because they're a similarish color. Each of these three is going to roar out this chittering cry. Their mouths open up and the folded mandible jaw parts of crustaceans like a clitter chatter and click. And they are going to jump down into the canyon and all three of them are going to begin foaming at the mouth and bleeding from their eyes as all of them use a bonus action to rage to the faithful. And all three of them are going to start raging scary. This one is going to jump down to here, here, and then it is going to get right here next to row Tello. This one's going to jump down here. Well, 10, 15, 20. It's going to jump over the lot screen. So that'll take another five. That's 30. Which movement do they have? Okay, so this one's going to get right up on Craig and then this one's going to my 10. [00:38:07] Speaker E: Big mistake. [00:38:08] Speaker B: 30. Okay. He's going to have to use his full dash to get right in Boz's face. Then they are going to. Okay, so because they're in front, they're in there, they are both going to take some fire damage. No, different amounts. This one's going to take this much fire damage. Oh, shoot. That was a high roll. Okay, all right, sorry, sorry. There's a lot of details here. [00:38:39] Speaker A: You got this. [00:38:41] Speaker B: Okay. This is gonna be one of the most complicated combats I've ever run. And then this guy is gonna run this. All right? Okay. Okay. So they both land thudding down into. Into the canyon. The stone, like, landing up around them. They don't look perturbed. And as they run, they, like, pound. They, like, pull themselves across the ground with their claws as fast as they propel themselves with their legs. And they're just. And as they run up to you, both of them launch themselves over the lava, and the heat from just being near it, from not touching it, begins to burn them. But you all notice is the heat doesn't seem to do quite as much damage as you would suspect. They don't seem to care as much as you would think. Think all of them are going to make attacks. This one is going to make two attacks against Ro. [00:39:32] Speaker C: Of course it is. [00:39:35] Speaker B: Okay, Ro, what is your ac? [00:39:38] Speaker D: Thirteen. [00:39:40] Speaker B: Okay, I rolled a three and. Oh, well. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, no advantage. Okay, so that's gonna be a 17 on the first attack and. Oh, poo poo. A crit on my new die. [00:39:57] Speaker C: No, bad, bad die. Put that dice in jail. [00:40:01] Speaker A: It's a bad omen. [00:40:04] Speaker F: No, no, no, no, no, no. [00:40:07] Speaker B: Okay, for the first, are they recklessly attacking? They do appear to be perfect. On the first attack throw, you take 9, 4. 13 points of bludgeoning damage as the first pincher grabs your arm and just crunches down and you feel your bones squeeze and almost start to snap. The next one's going to jab at your torso. It encompasses the entire width of your torso and begins pressing. This is the crit you are going to take. That's not good. [00:40:40] Speaker C: What did you you do to me, Zachary? [00:40:43] Speaker D: Okay. [00:40:44] Speaker B: Oh, 13. You take 34 points of bludgeoning from the second attack as it crunches down around your torso. [00:40:53] Speaker C: Which ones are these? I'm so sorry, I'm. [00:40:55] Speaker B: These are the crab looking dudes. [00:40:57] Speaker C: Yeah, the weird. [00:40:58] Speaker B: Okay, sick now. [00:41:01] Speaker C: 47 points of damage. Holy crap. [00:41:04] Speaker B: On a crack, that is. I rolled. That crit was bad. Okay, this next one is a 27 to hit. Craig, followed up by. Oh, there's an 18 hit. [00:41:20] Speaker D: Craig. [00:41:23] Speaker B: I can't hear you. [00:41:24] Speaker F: Micah, is Micah here? [00:41:28] Speaker B: Micah, are you audible? Can you hear her? [00:41:30] Speaker F: I don't think she's here. [00:41:31] Speaker B: Oh, there you are. [00:41:32] Speaker F: Oh, there she is. [00:41:32] Speaker B: No, she's there. Micah. [00:41:38] Speaker E: Cut out. Can you guys hear me? [00:41:40] Speaker A: Yeah, you're back now, but you did cut out. [00:41:42] Speaker B: Can you hear us, Micah? Yeah, just an 18 hit. [00:41:48] Speaker E: Oh, no, it doesn't. [00:41:51] Speaker B: Okay, so first attacks hits. The second one does not. So you deflect the second one with your. With your brilliant shield. But the first one, one as. As you, like, bat away one claw, the other one grabs against your armor and squeezes and presses down on it. The first one is gonna deal 14 points of bludgeoning damage. [00:42:08] Speaker E: What was the first one? [00:42:09] Speaker B: 14. 14 points of bludgeoning damage. That's it? [00:42:12] Speaker E: No, I mean, like, what was. What did you roll? [00:42:15] Speaker B: The first One was a 27 to hit. The second one was an 18. [00:42:18] Speaker E: So sad. [00:42:19] Speaker B: Okay, I'll add that to my damage. Okay. Oh, Landon, I rolled horrible. What's your AC right now? [00:42:28] Speaker F: I don't have formidable foliage up, so it's just 20. [00:42:31] Speaker D: Okay. [00:42:33] Speaker B: All right. [00:42:35] Speaker C: It's just 20. [00:42:37] Speaker B: The first one's a 14 to hit and misses. Oh, my goodness. And then I rolled really bad on the set on both at advantage. The second one's an 18. So, boss, what does it look like as both attacks miss you, as the pinchers snap outward at you? [00:42:53] Speaker F: I feel like I just get uncomfortably close to him. [00:42:56] Speaker B: Oh, sick. [00:42:57] Speaker F: Like, I don't try to pull away. Like, I lean in and just, like, miss them. [00:43:01] Speaker B: Like, the blind spot into his way, into his. Into his range. His claws literally go past you, and you, like, get up right next to him and then duck down. That's awesome. Like, a little bob. And I'm like. [00:43:10] Speaker F: And I whisper in his little crusty ear, I say, this isn't personal, man. [00:43:13] Speaker B: I get it. Like. Like, I know. [00:43:14] Speaker F: Like, we're both here just doing our God stuff, man. [00:43:17] Speaker B: I got it. No, no hard feelings, okay? [00:43:21] Speaker F: I'm sure you're a pretty chill dude. Like, at the crab. At the crab walk or whatever. You're like. Like, I'm sure you got, like, a sweet. [00:43:27] Speaker D: Back home. [00:43:28] Speaker F: You know, you got, like, some little crab eggs. I don't know. [00:43:30] Speaker B: But as Boss. Boss says, I'm sure you're a pretty chill dude. The foam of spit boils out of his mouth, and the blood runs down his face. Next up in the initiative is Ro. What are you doing? [00:43:40] Speaker C: Yeah. Okay. [00:43:44] Speaker B: Another kua. Toe is on deck, and then up after that is Boss. [00:43:47] Speaker C: It is so hard for me to see what's going on. Okay, Ro is gonna. [00:43:50] Speaker B: I know. I'm sorry. [00:43:51] Speaker C: Is gonna. I'm gonna try and do some stuff here in a minute to fix the thing. [00:43:57] Speaker B: It's kind of clear right now. [00:43:58] Speaker E: Ro. [00:43:59] Speaker C: Ro is gonna polymorph into a T Rex. [00:44:05] Speaker D: Okay. Yeah. [00:44:08] Speaker C: Because I'm already, like, down to half hit points almost, so Rose gonna go into a D wreck. [00:44:16] Speaker B: Could you describe what that looks like for me, Ro? [00:44:21] Speaker C: Like, for flavoring? Like, obviously she doesn't do this because it would cause an opportunity attack, but she kind of steps back and, like, just does Like a couple strums on her loot, and it just almost sounds like a roar as. As she. [00:44:41] Speaker B: Oh, sick. [00:44:43] Speaker C: And as she does it, this purple and gold magic just kind of envelopes her, and it kind of like she grows and grows and grows. Like you can't really see her under it. But as she plugs plays and she hits the strumming a few times, you can't see, like, inside the magic. But then the magic, like, falls and a. A. Like a giant green with, like, purple scaling T Rex with rose purple piercing eyes stands now over this Kuatoan crab thing that was just biting at her. [00:45:25] Speaker B: As you. As you strum that last powerful. [00:45:29] Speaker C: As she did that, by the way. I'm so sorry. But just to add the bonus action before she turns into a T Rex, as she did that, it was so cool that it bartically inspired whoever was nearest to her. Who is that? I can't. [00:45:48] Speaker B: Do you want it to be Greta or Tello. [00:45:51] Speaker C: Do Greta, since she's a PC Greta. [00:45:54] Speaker B: You're bartically inspired. D10 row. As you emerge in this massive flesh of green and purple transmutation rising upward. You're so big. You push you. I don't know what that was. Feel free not to do it again. You're so large, that gray Greta Tello and the Kuo Toa Carcinites get pushed out of the way. [00:46:20] Speaker E: What was that? [00:46:22] Speaker B: As you emerge there, an entire T Rex. [00:46:26] Speaker A: You're so stinking big. [00:46:28] Speaker B: One massive leg down another one. Actually, I guess we could put. No, you're so large. We can put tokens on you. Telos here, tell us underneath you. And as you. As you appear, Tello just goes. He's just terrified for a second. And as you stand there, you. Your huge jaws and you have these purple strikes on your back and your brilliant purple eyes. And that's awesome. I assume that's everything. Yes. [00:47:04] Speaker C: I don't think I can really do anything else. [00:47:07] Speaker B: Next up in initiative, it's the Kuo Toa venerated acolytes. So these three dudes, this guy's gonna jump all the way down, but he is gonna take some damage when he falls because it's a bit of a distance that wasn't a lot of damage. Okay. Five something, I guess. Oh, I lost my pen there for a second. So that's okay. Down to that. The next guy's also gonna jump down and take damage. Okay, that's more. Banged him up a little bit, actually. And then the next guy is also going to jump down and take Damage. He took almost nothing. So all three of them land down in the canyon. This one's going to rush in on Rongrim, and this one's going to rush up to Greta. This guy landed, so that was. Okay. So he's gonna. He's gonna make an athletics check to jump over. Okay. Nat 20. He crushes it, jumps all the way over. Sets 10, 15. Another one to jump. He's gonna get a bit of the lava on him, and then he'll travel over to Boz. So he's now also harrying Boz. So he's gonna take D6 of fire for the first lava. Does he have it? No. Okay, this sucks for him. And then because he got way too close to that lava. Oh, he's gonna take. He's gonna get seared a lot. You guys start smelling cooked fish. As one of the koa, the guys with the war paint and the. The blades, running with them, he jumps over the lava and he gets some of it on his foot, and he starts screaming as it, like, starts burning up part of his foot, but he froths at the mouth and keeps running. These guys look dedicated, not like some you fought in the past. So all three of them arrived at their targets. This one is going to. Okay, what do I have here? Yes. Okay, so with Teeth of the Young God, he's gonna make three attacks against Rangoon. These are not reckless. Oh, I rolled high. The first one's a 24 to hit. Yeah. Second one's a 19. [00:49:26] Speaker D: Yep. [00:49:28] Speaker B: Third one is a 21. Okay, so all three are gonna hit. This is going to deal a D6 plus 2. 6. This is going to be, Oh, four points of slashing plus eight points of fire. Does it matter to separate those right now for you? [00:49:53] Speaker D: Not right now. [00:49:54] Speaker B: Okay, so 12 points of damage on the first attack. [00:49:59] Speaker D: Okay. [00:49:59] Speaker B: 8 plus 3. 11 points on the second attack. And not the highest rolls. 12 points on the third attack. So he's three attacks with teeth, and he does these slashing motions. He's chanting, and these, like, blades made out of massive teeth catch fire, and he's slashing you with flame and blade as he goes. The next one is going to take its three attacks at Greta. Greta, what's your AC? [00:50:34] Speaker A: My AC is 19. [00:50:36] Speaker B: Okay. I rolled much more diversely the first time. My first One is a 24 to hit. My next one is an 18 to hit, and my next one is a 12 to hit. So only one, right? [00:50:44] Speaker A: Yes. [00:50:45] Speaker B: Okay. Excellent. How can I help you, baby? Okay. Can you make something? Sure. Do you Think you could do that maybe, like, a little quietly? Okay, thank you. Okay, that's eight. Eleven plus three is 15 points of slashing and fire damage. Greta, as they burn across you. What does it look like as the other two attacks miss? [00:51:15] Speaker A: What's. What am I being attacked with? [00:51:18] Speaker B: Giant swords made out of massive sharp teeth that are on fire? [00:51:23] Speaker A: Oh, goodness. I say that she sees them, and she just kind of like ducks and she just dodges them. And then as she is. Yeah. As she's looking at one, the last one just kind of like catches her right in the gut. [00:51:40] Speaker B: I say as it slashes across your armor, you're very thankful for magical armor in that moment that just keeps you from being eviscerated. The last one's going to take its attacks against Bob, Boss, and Boz. You were on deck after this. I rolled awful, boss. I don't have a roll above 12. I rolled a 6. [00:52:02] Speaker A: 6. [00:52:03] Speaker B: 3. No, I think he has an AC of 20. So is there a particular way you. You evade three attacks, or is it more just really nimble movement and quick feet? [00:52:16] Speaker F: How big are they compared to me? [00:52:18] Speaker B: They're about your size. I mean, you're taller than all of them because you're a tall dude, and Kuo Toa are a little short, but they're all pretty big. Especially the Carsonized are pretty massive. They're big dudes. Okay. You're taller than all of them, but same size. Class. [00:52:33] Speaker D: Out. [00:52:34] Speaker F: Where are their eyes and their head? [00:52:38] Speaker B: Both their faces. Okay. [00:52:41] Speaker F: They're not, like, on the sides of, like, their heads or anything. [00:52:43] Speaker B: Oh, excuse. No, no, no, no. You're right. For the Kuo Toa. For the regular Kuo Toa. Yeah, they are on the sides. You're right. Sorry. You're right. They're on the sides of their head. [00:52:51] Speaker F: I feel like I just, like, want to stand. [00:52:54] Speaker B: You keep moving into their blind spot. [00:52:57] Speaker D: That's awesome. [00:52:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's. I love that. [00:53:00] Speaker A: So funny. [00:53:02] Speaker B: All three sl. [00:53:06] Speaker D: Hello. [00:53:10] Speaker B: Boss, it's your turn. What are you doing? [00:53:13] Speaker F: Zach, I had a question in the chat. I know there's, like, lightning up in the sky, but does it count as giving the bonus to call lightning that there's an existing storm? [00:53:23] Speaker B: If I. If I. Instead of, like, creating channel one, it. Absolutely. Okay. [00:53:29] Speaker F: Are there any. I'm sorry, I have a hard time seeing them up. I. I don't know which one is me. [00:53:33] Speaker B: It's very fuzzy. I'm sorry. I really wish it wasn't like this right now. This is you right here, the red one. Okay. And then are there any acolytes each other? Yes, the Kuo Toa acolyte is right here. One of the Kuo Toa carcinized is right here. And then right here in the blue is Craig. [00:53:56] Speaker F: All right, and who up on the mountain again? [00:54:00] Speaker B: This dude over here. [00:54:02] Speaker F: The white guy. [00:54:03] Speaker B: The big old white disc. Oh, this one is the like super finely. Like the one that has jewelry and fine markings. [00:54:14] Speaker F: I want to do a call and is there another, is there another token next to him or is it just him? [00:54:21] Speaker B: Yeah, there's. There's another priestly looking one right here. [00:54:24] Speaker F: If I put a lightning bolt in the middle, is that within five feet of either of them? [00:54:28] Speaker B: Yes, five feet of both. [00:54:31] Speaker F: Could I, could I do a fifth level call lightning? [00:54:38] Speaker A: Yep, baby. [00:54:41] Speaker F: And I just, I just want to do a quick. And have it strike right there in the middle. And. [00:54:49] Speaker B: And. [00:54:51] Speaker F: So if my calculations are correct, that's 3d10 plus 1d10 for bonus. 4d10 and then plus 2 more d10. So that's 6d10. They have to do a deck save. [00:55:01] Speaker B: That is phenomenal, Lando. That is call Lightning is a concentration spell, Correct? [00:55:08] Speaker F: It is indeed a concentration spell. [00:55:10] Speaker B: Okay, excellent. [00:55:11] Speaker F: It is an arched. [00:55:13] Speaker B: Good, good. [00:55:17] Speaker F: This is an action to catch the concentration spell and the lock. [00:55:24] Speaker B: Okay, I'm checking all my features right now. Okay. I think that's just that. So dexterity saving throws from both. [00:55:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:55:32] Speaker B: Okay, my first, the. The priest definitely fails. And the highly adorned one probably fails. What's your DC19? Yeah, both fail. [00:55:44] Speaker F: All right, so now I roll some big old bad boy dice. [00:55:47] Speaker B: Yeah, you do a lot of damage, Boz. As you, as you call out to the storm and your voice rings a little bit of gold, fire just flourishes out from your feet and one of the lightning bolts soars down from the. From the sky. And as it, as it shoots down toward the ground, falling at impossible speed, it starts red and then pitch, turns a whitish gold before striking at the ground with thunderous sound. And how much damage does it do? [00:56:15] Speaker F: 43. [00:56:17] Speaker B: That's a lot of damage, my guy. [00:56:20] Speaker A: Wow, that is a lot of damage. [00:56:22] Speaker C: That's a lot. [00:56:23] Speaker B: It's pretty good. [00:56:24] Speaker F: I didn't have a single dice below five. [00:56:27] Speaker B: That's a great. Nice. Okay, excellent. Very good. All right, anything else with your turn. [00:56:40] Speaker F: As a bonus, As a bonus action, I am gonna look at Kuo Toa in front of me and I'm gonna say. I'm just kidding. I don't think you're a chill dude. I think you're actually kind of stinky. And I'm gonna catch vicious mockery. [00:56:55] Speaker B: Phenomenal wisdom saving throw, right? Yeah, Yeah. I was just saying I rolled a three on the die, and his modifier is not good. He fails. [00:57:04] Speaker F: Oh, yeah. He feels it, man. He was starting that. Honestly, he may have just been missing on purpose because. Because we just had, like, a bond, like a man moment, you know, together. [00:57:16] Speaker B: So he has to take. Okay, let me do some. Damn. [00:57:24] Speaker F: That's not as good as the call. Lightning 6 psychic damage. And he has disadvantage on his next attack. [00:57:32] Speaker B: Phenomenal. That's really good. Okay. Excellent. Wrong game. It's your turn. Greta's on deck. [00:57:39] Speaker D: One million percent. The one who came next to me, I look stoically in the eyes with a glimmer of a smile crossing my face as I enter into my rage just solemnly. And I look at his small, little body and I say, I've killed bigger fish. [00:58:01] Speaker B: That's a. That's a barbarian line. [00:58:05] Speaker D: I. When I enter my rage, the three spirits come around me, and I bring out remnant. And in a cold, swift motion, I bring out the other sword. That, yeah, does not look like the sword that was in my sheath. To anyone who's next to me, to the big T. Rex. I don't know if you can see that small, and he's got bad eyesight. [00:58:24] Speaker B: But. [00:58:27] Speaker D: It'S the sharpest of swords, and it looks very Kefkan at the end of it. I don't remember exactly. I was trying to look for how it looks, if you want to describe that later, But I bring it out, and I just look at this guy, and I stab him twice with a 28 and a. Yeah, 28 will hit 32. [00:58:57] Speaker B: My guy. [00:59:00] Speaker D: And I deal. Do I need to separate fire for. [00:59:03] Speaker B: This guy for the guy in front of you? You do not. [00:59:07] Speaker D: All right, 22 on my first and 32 with my second blade. [00:59:13] Speaker B: That's a lot of damage altogether. That is quite a bit of damage, Daniel. 54. No additional bonuses. You all watch as. As Rongrim drops the dope line. As he, like, starts to build and his strength builds with anger, he watches these three. Three spirits spill out from him. One is sort of orangish color, another little blue, another little green. They're like humanoids. Humanoid soy, humanoid size. As he pulls that, like, navy blue Damascus trident with the gems in it from one side, it sets a blaze with fire. And as he pulls out the sword opposite from the other, like a platinum gladius, like a Roman gladius blade. And it's like. Like A platinum kind of color. And you can see the symbol of Kef on the bottom of of the hilt. Anyone proficient in history who wants can make one if they want. You strike immediately at the kuato in front of you. And as you do this, the trident jabs into its gut and it. And as you stab into it, that like purplish, silvery blood spills out from his stomach. You take the other and you just. And as you bring it down across, you chop off his left arm. And he loses one of his attacks. He looks like he's at death door. He looks like he's falling apart. And more importantly, Rangrim from where you stab him in the gut. He looks up at you with hate in his eyes and he says something in a language you don't know. And he looks weirdly triumphant. And as the blood pours out of him, you're watching little sparks of energy come out of his stomach. And from where you cut off his arm, little energy bolts, reddish light come out of his shoulder. Would you get on your history check, bro? [01:01:06] Speaker C: Can I do one since I'm a T. Rex? [01:01:10] Speaker B: No. Greta, did you do. [01:01:13] Speaker C: I shouldn't have asked. I'm sure Greta did. [01:01:16] Speaker A: My. Can I do a history, please? [01:01:18] Speaker B: Yes. You are proficient. History. [01:01:20] Speaker A: I would like to do that. Dang it. [01:01:23] Speaker C: Stupid T. Rex. Not knowing. No history. [01:01:27] Speaker B: It'll. It'll be your turn initiative next. Then we're going to have some. [01:01:33] Speaker A: 2020 and then it'll be who? [01:01:36] Speaker B: So some more Kuoa and then Craig. But Greta, you're up now Greta is here. He unsheathes the blade. Holy. [01:01:45] Speaker A: I got a 20. [01:01:45] Speaker B: The crap. Well, that's the most famous sword in the world. [01:01:54] Speaker A: Stop it. [01:01:55] Speaker B: In his left hand, Rongrim's holding Corona's blade, or Corona's bane, the sword of Kef. That's the Emperor's sword. [01:02:07] Speaker E: Whoa. [01:02:08] Speaker B: He has the Emperor's sword in his left hand. [01:02:11] Speaker C: Row would know that. She knows her history. [01:02:15] Speaker B: Corona's Bane. Like. Like the bane of crowns, mean. [01:02:20] Speaker E: The bane of my existence. [01:02:22] Speaker B: Okay, Greta, it's your turn. And then a bunch of Kuo Toa. [01:02:29] Speaker E: Wow. [01:02:30] Speaker A: Alrighty. Dm. There's a Kuo Toa in the front of me, Correct? In my front. [01:02:35] Speaker B: There is a Kuoa in the front of you. The T. Rex. Adds a lot. But you're right here. Tello's right here underneath the T. Rex. And the Kuo is in front of you. [01:02:42] Speaker D: Sorry, guys. [01:02:43] Speaker C: Didn't mean to scare you with my. [01:02:44] Speaker B: It's pretty awesome. [01:02:46] Speaker A: I would like to. I'm gonna Cast spirit shroud on myself. Oh, before I say I'm gonna cast spirit shroud on myself. [01:03:00] Speaker B: And then that's concentration, correct? [01:03:04] Speaker A: Correct. At the first. I'm going to cast inflict wounds at the first level. [01:03:11] Speaker B: Spirit shroud is a bonus action. [01:03:14] Speaker A: Oh, but I can't. [01:03:15] Speaker B: It's a level spell. Correct. [01:03:16] Speaker D: Yeah. [01:03:19] Speaker B: Okay. I like that you did a trat. If it weren't for you meddling kids. [01:03:30] Speaker D: Cool. [01:03:30] Speaker A: I thought. Okay, that's okay. I am going to. I. I'm gonna get on my broom. [01:03:45] Speaker D: Oh. [01:03:45] Speaker A: And I'm gonna risk an opportunity attack and I'm gonna just fly away from this pool. [01:03:50] Speaker B: Now I'm correct that you still cast spirits trail though, right? [01:03:53] Speaker A: I would like to do that, please. [01:03:55] Speaker B: Okay, excellent. You will risk an opportunity attack. No biggie. Where are you going? How high? How far? [01:04:03] Speaker A: How far above me is that little white token? [01:04:08] Speaker B: He's 15ft up and then 1, 5, 10, 15ft this way. So he's 15ft up and 15ft. [01:04:16] Speaker A: 15Ft up and 15ft. [01:04:19] Speaker B: Look forward. [01:04:19] Speaker A: So I'm just gonna. How tall is the T. Rex, would. [01:04:22] Speaker B: You say it is? About 16ft at the shoulder. [01:04:29] Speaker A: Okay, I'm gonna just fly right up. We'll say like 15. [01:04:35] Speaker B: Okay. [01:04:36] Speaker A: Staying in your position. Yes. [01:04:40] Speaker B: Okay. You are. Are 15 heat up. Phenomenal. So Greta, you hop on your broom and all these spirit looking a whole lot like Dolgo's cloak come out from around you and you lift up into the air. Opportunity attack. Roll pretty high. It's above 20. So you're going to take. Okay, I will. Fairly average. Ish. 12 points of damage from fire and blade as he sweeps up and cuts into your leg just a little bit. [01:05:21] Speaker A: Thank you. [01:05:22] Speaker B: And you. Okay, next it is the Kuo Toa exalted's turn. The very well dressed individual is going to mess some people up. [01:05:45] Speaker E: Hit me unfairly. [01:05:49] Speaker B: He'll take you up on that bet, Craig. He's gonna move. Well, she'll move. 5, 10, 15, 20. Where she still has a view on the battlefield. But she moves backward, stumbling back. She looks heavily charred from the lightning bolt, but not, you know, she's still on her feet. She stumbles backward. She grips a symbol around her neck and she shouts something in Kuo Toa no one can understand. And she points at Craig and then she reaches out an arm. She hisses something and fire escapes from in between her lips. And she's going to point, point forward and she's going to put a fireball right here, which is within 20ft. Right here in the Air. And that is within 20ft of Greta. 20ft of Ro. Of Rex. Rorex. [01:06:44] Speaker C: Rorex roex. [01:06:45] Speaker B: 20Ft of Boz. 20ft of Craig, 20ft of this carcinized and 20ft of this exalted meaning. And she is going to cast that. [01:06:57] Speaker D: Everyone's going to need Dex save. [01:07:00] Speaker B: Yep. She's going to cast that at fifth. [01:07:02] Speaker C: Level. [01:07:05] Speaker B: And she'll go ahead and use. She's going to use a sorcery point to use empowered spell. [01:07:21] Speaker D: Just so you know, Zach, I'm going to reaction and my spirits are gonna go around. I think Greta, because I think she's the one who does not have the most hit points out of all those people. [01:07:34] Speaker B: Okay. [01:07:35] Speaker D: She's within 30ft of me, right? [01:07:37] Speaker B: Excellent. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, she is. What is everyone's dexterity? Saving throws. [01:07:46] Speaker E: I might get advantage. [01:07:51] Speaker C: I'd like an advantage. [01:07:52] Speaker B: I love that you will have advanced. Oh, you put Godspeed's wings back up, right? [01:07:58] Speaker E: I didn't. [01:07:59] Speaker B: But how long. How long does Godspeed's wings last? [01:08:02] Speaker E: It doesn't say. [01:08:04] Speaker D: I look. [01:08:05] Speaker B: Well, you've been walking for hours. It definitely. Oh, we, we, we. We put something down about it in the past. I think we went for 10 minutes. I'm pretty sure. I think you've been walking for hours. So the wings have dissipated. Do you have them multiple times? A long rest? [01:08:22] Speaker E: That's okay. Cuz my first roll was a 20. [01:08:25] Speaker B: That's phenomenal. [01:08:26] Speaker C: Okay, you said we're doing a deck save, correct? I'm sorry. [01:08:31] Speaker E: Wait. There's no prolonged rest. I can just summon. [01:08:38] Speaker B: Let's check that language because that cannot possibly be true. That would be. [01:08:43] Speaker E: I'm telling you. [01:08:47] Speaker B: Well then I just did a bad job writing this item. Bonus action when you do so. 12 foot ring span. You may likewise. [01:08:54] Speaker E: Oh no, I have your one hour duration. I'm sorry, I just didn't see that. One hour duration. [01:08:59] Speaker B: Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. So that. That is gonna be once per long rest. But that's fine. Okay, 24 from Boz. What did we get for. What did we get for Greta and Rex? [01:09:19] Speaker A: Greta got a 6. [01:09:24] Speaker C: And Ro got an 11. Roex got an 11 because Roex's dex is less than. [01:09:32] Speaker B: Yeah, T. Rexes aren't known for their dexterity. A six will save Greta. Good job. [01:09:37] Speaker A: Are you kidding? That's awesome. [01:09:39] Speaker B: No, it will not. Doesn't have a DC guys. Not a DC five. Was that a genuine deception? Come on. [01:09:49] Speaker E: I. [01:09:49] Speaker B: You fooled me, you fool. I wasn't ready for how Genuine and sincere that you fooled me me was gonna be. Okay, it's 8D6 at third level, so two more levels, that's gonna be 10D6. Yeah. Wait, what that is. [01:10:09] Speaker C: Wait, who all failed? We all failed. [01:10:12] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Craig and Boz both fail. [01:10:20] Speaker E: Wait, how did we fail? [01:10:21] Speaker B: Wait, what did everyone else get? Both save. [01:10:25] Speaker C: Okay, there you go. [01:10:26] Speaker B: And Row and Greta both succeed. I'm doing my best, guys. [01:10:29] Speaker C: You mean fail both the. [01:10:33] Speaker E: You get. [01:10:34] Speaker B: You guys know. You know how numbers work. You know what I mean? You obviously understand the relationship here. You know who succeeds, you know who fails. Back to my math. 12 plus 11 is 23. [01:10:47] Speaker D: Okay, I do have the minus for. For Greta's. Whenever you say this. [01:10:54] Speaker A: The minus for Greta's. [01:10:57] Speaker B: Oh, that is 45 points of fire damage for Greta and Rocks. [01:11:05] Speaker C: I'm so glad I'm a T Rex right now. [01:11:08] Speaker B: And 22 points of fire damage for Boz and Craig. And 45 for Rolex and Greta. 22 point points of damage for Boz and Craig. [01:11:17] Speaker A: Okay. [01:11:18] Speaker D: And Greta, you can take 16 points of that damage off though, so minus 16 and the person takes 16. [01:11:28] Speaker C: The caster T Rex row is very helpful when it comes to hit points. [01:11:34] Speaker B: Is there now? I'm just. I'm just checking. Daniel, Is there any range on that? Dealing that damage back to the them or if they're like 4,000 miles away, it still deals the damage back to them. [01:11:46] Speaker D: I'm pretty sure it just deals the damage back, but I will check once more. [01:11:50] Speaker B: I. I believe it does, but the. The caster is 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, 50ft from you. But I also think that is the language of the ability. I think it just works. [01:12:00] Speaker D: The attacker takes an amount of force damage equal to the damage your shield. [01:12:07] Speaker B: Okay. [01:12:08] Speaker C: All right. [01:12:09] Speaker B: Just takes it. Sorry, boss. [01:12:13] Speaker F: What was the amount of the full. [01:12:14] Speaker B: Damage after you saved? It was 22. Okay. [01:12:19] Speaker F: I rolled an 11 on my con save, so that's great. [01:12:22] Speaker B: Great, great, Good, good. [01:12:25] Speaker D: Rorax needs to make a 22 con save. [01:12:30] Speaker C: Wait, I need to make a content. Oh, that's wrong concentration because Polymorph. Thank you. Okay, I do too. Okay. [01:12:42] Speaker A: So that works if I get a 10 or above. I'm still concentrating. Right. [01:12:47] Speaker B: You have DC2. 22. Because the so. So it is either half the damage you took or 10, whichever is higher because you took 45 damage. DC22 save. [01:12:59] Speaker A: Do you add to any of that your con saving? [01:13:02] Speaker B: Drop. [01:13:04] Speaker D: Your constitution. [01:13:06] Speaker B: Yeah. Would you get on your con save row. [01:13:09] Speaker C: I'm gonna add. Can I add my per diem to it? [01:13:12] Speaker B: You can, you can and you should. [01:13:15] Speaker D: Well, also, Greta's is a little lower because. Right, because 45 minus 16 is 39. Right. So half of 39 is. [01:13:24] Speaker B: No, no, no, no, no. It's 29 minus 16 is 29. [01:13:27] Speaker D: 29. [01:13:28] Speaker B: Half of 29 is 14. So you need to beat a 14, Greta. [01:13:32] Speaker A: Me? To beat. [01:13:34] Speaker B: Yes, you're good, Greta. What did you roll? What did you roll on your die? With a number added on. [01:13:44] Speaker A: Me? [01:13:46] Speaker C: Me? Well, I rolled an 18, but I added my per diem and I rolled a four, so I got a 22 and. [01:13:53] Speaker B: Excellent. You have maintained your concentration. You are still a polymorph. Excellent, excellent, excellent. Okay, that was the Exalted's turn. Now we are going to go to. Oh, I didn't deal the damage to my acolyte here. Yeah, they're boys who failed and is not resistant. This acolyte here, right in front of you, looks like it is at death's door. And as the fire burns over it, it falls to the ground. It barely struggles back up to its peak, its feet feebly picking up its swords. But it is ravenously dedicated. And where all of the burnt flesh is charred and its jaw is melted toward its face, its blood is pouring out of small gaps between its. Its carbonized flesh. You watch as little sparks of red power are seeping out of it and it just looks up at you with a determined expression. [01:14:53] Speaker C: This seems bad. [01:14:55] Speaker B: It's the Kuo Toa High Priest. [01:14:58] Speaker F: Am I able to make a history? Check. [01:15:00] Speaker D: Zachary. [01:15:01] Speaker E: Wait, did I. [01:15:04] Speaker F: To know what the red light means? To know what that is or. [01:15:06] Speaker B: No, it's not a part of any history you're familiar with. You can make an arcana check if you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? Yeah, give me. Give me an arch counter check. I see the reasoning there. Okay, I got a 16. You are an incredibly experienced and capable caster. These magics look evocative to you? Like they are from the school of evocation. [01:15:33] Speaker F: Guys, things are gonna hurt us. They're gonna explode, reload or something. [01:15:36] Speaker B: They're gonna shock us. [01:15:37] Speaker F: We gotta figure out how to mitigate it. [01:15:40] Speaker B: Okay, Kuo Toa High Priest turn. The High priest is going to. [01:15:45] Speaker E: Am I mistaken? And I thought that I was on deck, but I could be on deck next. Maybe I missed. [01:15:51] Speaker B: You are on deck next. Okay, there are two Kuo Toa ahead of you. They rolled really great. [01:15:57] Speaker E: Sorry about that, Stinkies. [01:16:03] Speaker B: It is Going to. Let's see, let's see, let's see, let's see. I do a little pissy right in my pants. I do a little piss, but I don't use my hands. No. 60ft. We'll save that. It is going to cast. It'll put a Guiding Bolt. Who will it shoot? It's gonna put a guiding Bolt on Who does it seem incredible. Greta's in the air. It'll shoot at Greta. [01:16:43] Speaker C: Shoot at me. I'm a giant T. Rex. [01:16:47] Speaker B: All right, you sold me. It'll shoot at the giant T. Rex. You know what? That's true. It's true. There's a massive T. Rex. That's a good point. That's terrifying. It's just gonna. It's gonna pump. [01:16:57] Speaker C: I got you, bro. [01:16:58] Speaker B: It's gonna pump a fifth level Guiding Bolt into the T. Rex. [01:17:03] Speaker E: Let's go. Let's go. [01:17:07] Speaker A: I don't want to watch rocks go away, but real bad. [01:17:11] Speaker B: What's your A.C. rex? [01:17:13] Speaker C: Oh, as rock. [01:17:14] Speaker B: Oh. [01:17:15] Speaker C: Why is it at 13? Why is it this? [01:17:18] Speaker B: Because you're a big hunk of meat. Meat. Because you're a big hunk of meat. You know, when I rolled them, I. [01:17:23] Speaker C: Rolled a hit a 13. [01:17:25] Speaker B: A 13. So startled backward from the fireball, it steps back onto a feet, holds up its rod and fires I don't know what office doing and fires this burst of light into you that sears into your side. That is gonna be okay. Guiding bolt at first level is 4D6. I'm a 13, so at fifth level, it's another 4. So that's 8D6. Okay, 86. [01:17:58] Speaker C: What is it? [01:17:58] Speaker D: Get ready to make a con save. [01:18:00] Speaker C: What's max damage? 8. [01:18:03] Speaker B: You are gonna take 10. [01:18:08] Speaker D: Is 56. [01:18:11] Speaker B: 21. 64. 22. Ooh. 32 points of radiant damage. And you need to give us a DC16 con save. So 32 points of radiant damage. DC16 con save. And you have the next attack has advantage to hit you now. It looks like you're wearing a little tutu. [01:18:34] Speaker C: I'm wearing a tutu. Oh, my God. Rox is so cute. Okay, so sorry. [01:18:39] Speaker A: Okay. [01:18:39] Speaker C: I had to get my hit points. We're down. What kind of damage was that? I don't think I radiant. [01:18:46] Speaker B: No, it doesn't. [01:18:47] Speaker C: I don't think I. Yeah, and I gotta. I gotta con save. Con save. Concave. [01:18:51] Speaker A: Okay. [01:18:54] Speaker B: DC16. [01:18:56] Speaker C: Come on. Come on, baby. [01:18:59] Speaker B: Yo, baby. [01:19:02] Speaker C: I rolled a 16. I'm not kidding. [01:19:04] Speaker B: Oh, my goodness. Well, you know, you have a modifier and I think it's probably not awful. As a T. Rex. [01:19:09] Speaker E: 0. [01:19:10] Speaker B: As a T. Rex. [01:19:13] Speaker E: Oh. [01:19:15] Speaker C: I didn't add the last one. [01:19:17] Speaker B: F. No, but you saved, so we're fine. Your clan's probably pretty sizable, but. [01:19:23] Speaker C: Yeah, it's actually. It's a. It's actually a 22. 16. Plus six. [01:19:30] Speaker B: Holy cow. How. Yeah, plus six. [01:19:33] Speaker C: Let's go. Oh, my gosh. I didn't use it last time. I could have not used my per diem. Okay, well, whatever. [01:19:39] Speaker B: Well, we live and we live. [01:19:41] Speaker C: It is what it is. [01:19:43] Speaker B: Okay, Craig, you rolled next in initiative, but. [01:19:48] Speaker A: Yeah. [01:19:49] Speaker B: No. As you ready your blade and look at all the carnage and chaos around you, you all watches. Little beads of electricity start pulling between sides of the walls of the ravine. And Greta, you can't help with your high passive perception, but to notice that all those little white flecks in the ground are vibrating before they start rolling together. And then pulling out of the ground, a very large bone. And they start pulling out of the walls of the canyon until slowly but surely, something horrible starts to happen. [01:20:36] Speaker A: Bones. [01:20:38] Speaker B: Piles and piles of bones begin pulling out from beneath the surface of the ground and ripping out of the walls, flying together. And as they bundle, more electricity. You wait until one bolt of lightning from the sky fires down. And rising up as I was finishing my whiskey. Out of the ground is a gargantuan pile of writhing bones. Lightning bursts back and forth from it. It has no clear center, no clear head, no clear torso. Just a horrible, writhing mass of the once living. You can see where the bones connect in random sections. Tendons and tissue are trying to form before they're ripped apart by the own mass of the creature moving against it and breaking it into pieces. Bolts of sinuous electricity pull back and forth to the parts. This reminds you greatly of a creature you saw long ago in Zedge, except much bigger and much worse. Rather than a senescent atrocity, you all face one of Zor Grum's most horrible monsters. An unceasing massacre enters. Initiative on the unceasing massacre's turn. It is going to. What should it do? What should it do? I think it's going to. [01:22:06] Speaker C: Why I'm going to unboost this server landed. [01:22:15] Speaker B: It is for its action. What it's going to open with. Well, hold on, hold on. Oh, okay. Hold on, hold on. I'm having to remember a lot of things about this. Yes. Okay. I am starting to hate that it will use. It's gonna open. It's just gonna open with a multi attack. It's going to move forward 5ft. 10ft into the lava. It's going to go straight into the stream of law. And it's going to Open by taking 3d10 fire damage. Good for it. [01:22:56] Speaker C: I'm happy for it. [01:22:57] Speaker B: It matters much to it. It's 11:19. Adorable. All right. Okay. It rolls over the lava, and as it starts to melt some of the bones, the creature doesn't even seem like it cares. And it lifts up from its mass three immense pseudopods as it or no, two as it goes one against the Kuo Toa Carcin ice directly in front of it, seeing no real difference in the enemies in front of it. And then another against the next nearest target, Craig. So yeah, it's gonna hit the carsonized. And Craig. [01:23:42] Speaker D: Seems like a crit. [01:23:47] Speaker B: No, I crit with a 33. [01:23:50] Speaker C: Holy crap. [01:23:54] Speaker E: Okay, well, no, let me get this right. So basically I waited a whole round of combat for my. My action to be completely removed. And also I'm getting damage. [01:24:05] Speaker A: No, I think your turn is after this. [01:24:07] Speaker E: Well, no, no, no. [01:24:11] Speaker B: You don't just cease to be an initiative. [01:24:17] Speaker C: You unseen. [01:24:17] Speaker E: I was like, yay. My turn. Oh, big guy. Big guy hurt me. [01:24:21] Speaker A: Okay. [01:24:23] Speaker B: Holy crap. 22, 30, 40, 47 points of bludgeoning damage to the Kuo Toa carcinized. It's going to resist half of that. So it'll take 23. Sorry, a lot of math here. So it is here then against Craig, maybe say a quick little prayer for Micah Crego. You're gonna take. 24 plus 18 is 34. 46. Craig, you're gonna take 82 points of bludgeoning damage as the massive bones come slamming right down on top of you. Oh, ten foot wide path. That damage is going to hit the carcinized as well. So it also takes another 82 points of damage. [01:25:30] Speaker D: Okay. [01:25:33] Speaker B: Well, Craig, as you are pounded into the ground by thousands of points of pounds of dead matter. So as the carcinized next to you and it looks awful. It is after the. After the pseudopodic arm lifts up and raises back into the massacre. You look over and the carcinized has two broken legs. It has six. It has two broken legs and part of its head is smashed in, but it's still frothing at the mouth. That's the unceasing massacre's turn. Craig, it's yours. What are you doing? Yay. [01:26:06] Speaker E: I'm going to. Well, shoot. Okay, I. I'm gonna do my healing potion as a bonus action. Not which one? The supreme one. [01:26:22] Speaker B: Okay. [01:26:23] Speaker E: Just the regular one. [01:26:25] Speaker B: What is the regular one? [01:26:28] Speaker E: It's the one that I didn't use. [01:26:31] Speaker C: Greater Healing Potion.44. [01:26:34] Speaker E: And I did. Yeah, and I did look at my sheet again. I did have it in there. It was just at the bottom, so I didn't see it, but I did. [01:26:41] Speaker B: Awesome. I trust you. I trust you. So 44 plus 8. [01:26:47] Speaker E: 44. [01:26:49] Speaker B: Also Tello is up on deck, and then we'll go back to the top and finish. [01:26:54] Speaker E: One. [01:26:58] Speaker B: Three. [01:27:02] Speaker E: Nine plus eight. Nine plus eight is 17. [01:27:09] Speaker A: That's not really great, but that's okay. [01:27:12] Speaker B: That's pretty good. It's pretty good. [01:27:17] Speaker E: I mean, 41. Okay. Okay, I'm at 41. I'm at 41 hit points at this point. [01:27:21] Speaker C: Oh, my gosh. [01:27:22] Speaker E: It's not good. This is the first round. [01:27:26] Speaker A: Wow. [01:27:26] Speaker E: Okay, so I am going to attack because this is undead, right? [01:27:33] Speaker B: It. That's the most undead thing you've ever seen in your life? [01:27:37] Speaker E: Yeah, I was like, this is. [01:27:38] Speaker B: You have never seen a thing that undead. [01:27:41] Speaker E: These are bones. These are literally a mess. This is a mass of bones. Okay, so I'm gonna do. I'm gonna roll the hit for Storm Splinter. [01:27:51] Speaker B: Are these regular attacks or are you launching the ranged attack? [01:27:55] Speaker E: Is it within? It's melee, right? [01:27:58] Speaker A: You. [01:27:58] Speaker B: If you. If you step five feet forward, you'll be in melee with it, but that will also not provoke any opportunity attacks from the two creatures next to you because you're. [01:28:07] Speaker D: You're. [01:28:07] Speaker B: Stay within 5 of both of them as well. [01:28:10] Speaker E: Okay, cool. I'm going to move a little bit closer to it. [01:28:13] Speaker B: Okay. [01:28:14] Speaker E: Scary and probably not good, but it's okay. I am going to roll the hit. [01:28:21] Speaker B: Okay. Are we using any divine smites or no? [01:28:27] Speaker E: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get to that. But I want to make sure that I hit. [01:28:29] Speaker B: Understood? Understood. Well, of course. Hey, I love that prime. What do we got on our roll to hit? [01:28:45] Speaker E: So that's a 22 and a 19. And I used my per diem for one of them. [01:28:51] Speaker B: Both will hit. It strikes you, Craig. As you slice into it, it's highly exposed. It's a massive structure. And as you carve into it, you're surprised how easy it is to strike into its mass. It doesn't seem to you to have a very high ac. [01:29:08] Speaker A: Oh, shoot. [01:29:09] Speaker E: I probably should have used that again then. [01:29:12] Speaker B: Well, we don't know. You know, we don't know until we know. [01:29:15] Speaker A: All right? [01:29:15] Speaker E: There is a lot of damage that needs to be done. Done here because I'm going to be doing it at my level four. No, I'm no Wait, yeah, Level four. [01:29:32] Speaker B: I mean. I mean, what are you saving it for? [01:29:35] Speaker E: Yeah, because it's an undead that adds another D8, so that'll be a 78. And then also I have the three D4 for melee attacks from Landon. [01:29:47] Speaker B: Yep. You're within range of spots. [01:29:49] Speaker E: Yeah, Just give me. Me in one hot second. [01:29:52] Speaker B: Can you do me a real quick. A real quick favor, Micah? [01:29:56] Speaker E: Yeah. [01:29:56] Speaker B: So you're going to need to do just. Just so that we're. We're straight on this. So it's your plus six, just flat plus six from your strength and your bonus from the sword, and then your D6 from the sword's blade, and then your three D4 from the fire. You've got all that, right? For all of your radiant D damage, I would appreciate if you gave that to me separately. So calculate your slashing and your fire, and then give me your radiant damage separately. [01:30:25] Speaker E: So I'm going to reiterate what you just said, just to make sure I understand, because that's a lot. [01:30:31] Speaker B: Yes. [01:30:31] Speaker E: So it's the regular 2D6 plus 6 times 2. Because you do two rolls, and then it's. You said it was 2D6 for the slashing as well. [01:30:46] Speaker B: Let me back this up. Let me back this up. Let me back this up, because I might have worded it confusingly. Do everything you're doing because you're doing it right, but when you give me. Give me the number for the radiant separately. So don't give me one big total. Give me your slashing in your fire over here and then your radiant over here. [01:31:03] Speaker E: And how much was the. Because I combined it also. How much was the radiant? [01:31:07] Speaker B: The radiant is your divine smite. The radiant is your divine smite. And then One of the D6s from your sword is a Radiant, one of the D6s from your Sword is a slashing, and one of the radiant, or One of the D6s from your sword is a Radiant. So it's 78 plus a D6 Radiant, and then a D6 plus three D4 plus six slashing and fire. You have. Congratulations. You've made the world's most complicated paladin. [01:31:30] Speaker C: Holy crap. [01:31:30] Speaker E: Can you just. Can. Okay, what? [01:31:32] Speaker A: What? [01:31:32] Speaker E: Your brain just. [01:31:33] Speaker B: I'll message you. I'll message you. I don't want you to have a cardiac event D6 plus 78 radiant separately. [01:31:46] Speaker E: And then writing this down and trying to organize it to make it easier, and it never gets easier. [01:31:53] Speaker B: You had it. You had it. You had it. And then today, something was different. You had it. Right, Right. The first time you said it to me, it was right. But today something's different, and that's not on you. I have typed it up there. You have your directions. If it's not going to overwhelm you auditorily, Micah, I'm going to move to the next person initiative. But let me know once you have your numbers, okay? [01:32:14] Speaker E: Okay. Sick. That would be great. [01:32:16] Speaker A: Thank you. [01:32:17] Speaker B: Tello, you are up. What are you doing? [01:32:19] Speaker A: Can you point to Tello on the map, please? [01:32:21] Speaker F: Yes. [01:32:22] Speaker B: He is impossible to see. So he is under underneath the T. Rex right here. But he's right here. He is five feet away from wrong, grim, and five feet from being 15ft underneath you. [01:32:37] Speaker A: Okay. Can he see that little white token? Who is that white to? Is that the Kuo Toa exalted? [01:32:45] Speaker B: This one on the cliff is the priest. This one all the way over here is the exalted. From his angle, he cannot see the exact exalted because it's 15ft up on the cliff and it is 5, 10, 15, 20, 25. 30ft back from the edge from where he can see. But he can see the priest. [01:32:59] Speaker A: Okay, how far is he from that priest? [01:33:03] Speaker B: I imagine he's within 5, 10, 15. Yeah. Your crossbow. Anything within 80ft. Right. Is a regular rope. [01:33:10] Speaker A: Okay, so I would love 2 now I would like to roll 2 guy. I'd like to shoot it. [01:33:20] Speaker B: That guy think you have sneak attack right now. [01:33:28] Speaker C: He's not hiding in my shadow. [01:33:31] Speaker A: I'm not gonna try to. Should I bonus? Should I bonus action hide? I'll bonus action hide. Why not? Why the heck not? [01:33:39] Speaker B: Here's what I'll tell you. Here's what I'll tell you. [01:33:41] Speaker A: Can I bonus action hide, Greta or Abby? [01:33:43] Speaker B: This is possible. So you're at the bottom of a ravine and the priest is up over you. So he has. He has excellent line of sight on you. However. However. However. It is very, very dark, and this battle is complete chaos. And you have a literal T. Rex towering over you. So I'm gonna say you give me a stealth check. This is DC20 to successfully hide right now. Okay. But it can be done. [01:34:15] Speaker A: That's a 23 phenomenal. Okay, so I'm going to. That's it. That is advantage on attack, and I get to use my sneak attack. [01:34:29] Speaker B: You guys have only had six rolls tonight. Under 15 and only 11 rolls under 20. [01:34:37] Speaker A: Does it 24 hit? [01:34:40] Speaker B: Yeah, 24. [01:34:42] Speaker A: Okay. [01:34:42] Speaker B: And also, just as a reminder, Abby, it's a plus two to damage and a plus two to hit. [01:34:47] Speaker A: I did add that. Yes, but thank you. I had some trouble calculating it. I appreciate that. [01:34:53] Speaker B: Daniel, tell her she's a nerd. [01:34:58] Speaker A: Hello? Okay, so that is one D8. What does a D8 look like? [01:35:04] Speaker B: Some say Micah is still doing math. [01:35:07] Speaker D: She said things. [01:35:12] Speaker E: Technically, I'm checking to make sure this is. [01:35:15] Speaker B: No, no, no, I'm just kidding. [01:35:16] Speaker E: What I meant. [01:35:21] Speaker C: Whataburger Cop? Heck, yeah. [01:35:25] Speaker A: Is that for the pipes? [01:35:30] Speaker B: My pipes? [01:35:34] Speaker A: Wait, what. [01:35:35] Speaker C: What's for the. [01:35:36] Speaker E: Zach, was that for. Was what you gave me for each attack, or is it for all of it? [01:35:44] Speaker B: Yes, yes, that's for each attack. No, no, hold on. Hold on, Mickel. Hold on, Mickel. Here's the. [01:35:49] Speaker E: It should be one for all of it, right? [01:35:55] Speaker B: What I sent you. What I sent you is the breakdown for one attack. Now, it's the breakdown for the attack that you used your fourth Level Divine Smite on. Daniel. We. You can't use two Divine Smites in a turn, right? [01:36:08] Speaker D: Yes. [01:36:09] Speaker E: Can I use draining Smite? [01:36:10] Speaker B: You can. Oh, yeah. [01:36:12] Speaker D: There's no limit of Divine Smites, just the limit of how many spell slots you have. [01:36:19] Speaker B: Oh, that's right. So, Micah, how many fourth level spell. [01:36:22] Speaker E: Cells do you have? I think I just have one, but let me double check. I do only have one. So I'm gonna go down to a three, and I'll just subtract from one of the radiant damage. Okay, we're doing this again. [01:36:43] Speaker B: Excellent. Go get them. You're a champion, right? The math is a math. You can do anything. All right, Abby, what'd you get on tell's damage? [01:36:51] Speaker A: 36. [01:36:52] Speaker B: 36 damage. No charges for the bow, right? [01:36:58] Speaker A: No, because I didn't decide before I hit. [01:37:01] Speaker B: I appreciate that honesty, but that would. [01:37:04] Speaker A: Have been a great time to use it. [01:37:06] Speaker B: How would you like to do this? [01:37:10] Speaker C: Let's go tell them. [01:37:11] Speaker A: Are you kidding? I'm so scared. Oh, okay. Can I just say, like, nice and clean, Tella. Like, he, like, crouches down and he's really still, and he just, like, you, like, you know, and, like, you take a breath and then you breathe, and then you, like, just right then and just, like, lean and take. Yeah, and they are right in the heart. [01:37:38] Speaker B: So, Tello. [01:37:41] Speaker A: Can I also clarify? I did not use one of my silver arrows because I forgot. [01:37:45] Speaker B: Yes, thank you. No, no, thank you for clarifying. For whatever it's worth, unless you specify. I'll always assume you didn't, though. I appreciate the honesty. I just feel like that'd be a jerk move of me. So Tello's gonna take a long breath he's gonna to. He's going to like, steel himself. He realizes the T. Rex above him is Roe. He's going to confidently move directly under her, trusting Roe. And he's going to stand next to the immense leg. And he's just like, my life is insane. And he's going to lift the crossbow up to his shoulder and from around the edge of one of her legs, he crouches down, he takes one clean breath, and he just whispers, du monke. And then he's going to fired the bolt. And he just whispered, you failed in insinuum. And as the bolt flies out, it just. The Kuo Toa priest lifts its staff and he begins chanting. And he just goes. And the bolt went so cleanly up through his fault and throat and out the back of his head that no one even saw it. And the Kuo Toa priest just falls down the front of the cliff, dead at the bottom. Phenomenal. Okay. Okay. Craig, do you have that damage right? [01:39:02] Speaker E: Yeah, I need to find. I need to. I need to add the separate ones. [01:39:07] Speaker C: Hold on. [01:39:08] Speaker B: Okay, I can go to the next person. [01:39:12] Speaker E: No, I'm just. I. I put it in a way that I just have to copy and paste and end turret real quick. [01:39:20] Speaker B: Luke comes back to there and he's like, honey, how was D and D? Well, it was fun, but my blood pressure went up. Okay, 35. [01:39:28] Speaker E: So it was 35 radiant damage and then 64 regular damage. A total of 99. [01:39:37] Speaker B: You got 35 regular and 35 radiant and 64 regular. Even though you rolled more die from radiant? [01:39:48] Speaker A: No. [01:39:49] Speaker B: Could I be right in guessing that it's 35 regular and 64 radiant because you're rolled. [01:39:56] Speaker E: Wait, no, you're right. Hold on one second. I did copy paste the wrong thing. Thank you so much. [01:40:01] Speaker B: If the numbers are still 35 and 64, we're good. [01:40:04] Speaker E: Okay, so it's a 64 radiant, 35 regular, total of 99. [01:40:09] Speaker B: Micah, can you see your socks? [01:40:14] Speaker E: I don't have socks on. [01:40:16] Speaker B: You might want to get some because they're about to get blown off. Craig. [01:40:24] Speaker A: Something. [01:40:25] Speaker B: What does it look like? It was awful. What does it look like? What does it look like? As you make these attacks. Go ahead and describe that for me, and then I'm going to tell you something you're not prepared to hear. [01:40:41] Speaker A: Okay, cool. [01:40:42] Speaker E: So I'm going to take. I don't even. I didn't even think about this. I'm going to recall the memory of the. The vision that the Maker gave me where I became flesh and Blood from bones to flesh and blood. [01:40:58] Speaker A: Wow. [01:40:58] Speaker E: And I'm going to. And. [01:41:07] Speaker C: Oh. [01:41:10] Speaker E: And as I'm. As I'm digging the sword, as I'm like preparing the sword and wielding it. [01:41:15] Speaker A: Around. [01:41:17] Speaker E: I'm gonna say this is a mockery of the life that the maker gives. [01:41:23] Speaker A: Oh, Micah, that's so hard, that rock. That's awesome. [01:41:29] Speaker B: Craig, as you deal your. Your blade backward, or as you. As you plant your heel backward and you slash your sword forward. Star splinter. It's like platinum glade with that lapis lazuli like marks in it. Lights up with fire. And you. And you slash once and then you slash again. Each slash, as you slash, it burns with the golden fire. But as it strikes the creature, it's like when it heats the creature, the creature ignites. And it's like as you slash through it, cutting away massive swathes of bone, the pieces of its structure that you slash away crumble to the ground and fall out of its mass. Bones are raining down around you in fragments. But where you slash it, fire is. It is catching fire. Oh, that radiant damage is doing a lot more damage than you would have expected. It looks like this is vulnerable to radiant. And as it burns upward, you hear this low, resonant, horrible sound. No, no, no. I do that sound all the time. It's more like a. Like the grinding of bones making a screaming noise. And as you slash against it, Craig, you cut away massive swaths and it explodes in gold and fire. As you deal, the 64 is doubled as it's vulnerable to radiant and you deal a total of 163 damage. The new bearly team dnd campaign record. Whoa. By more than 60 points. [01:43:14] Speaker E: Wow. [01:43:15] Speaker B: Micah, you now hold the third place all time damage record for both campaigns and the 4th place all time damage record for any barely DND content. Including the time that Yepen mega beamed wrong Grim's character and then he fell. Fell out of the sky to the ground and died. You just dealt 163 points of damage. [01:43:42] Speaker A: Dang. [01:43:42] Speaker E: Can I get some of that in my hit points please? Can I have some bit of that. [01:43:46] Speaker B: Back to the top of initiative. No, you cannot back to the top of Initiative. Let's switch up this music. Yeah, let's go back to this one. Okay, just gonna check some quick deets here. No, no, no. Okay, we're fine, we're fine, we're fine, we're fine. At the top of the initiative, it's the carcinized again. So they are going to press inward on you all. The one that was here against Rorex is going to run back against her. [01:44:20] Speaker C: It's manic row. [01:44:22] Speaker B: It seems to have absolutely no sense of self preservation and it is going to make two reckless attacks against you. [01:44:31] Speaker A: Okay. [01:44:32] Speaker B: Holy crap. Micah. 100. 163 points of damage. I'd be screaming right now if it wasn't almost midnight. Also, just as a quick notification, we're probably gonna go a little later than midnight. Well, probably significantly. I'm checking if everyone's on board for that. And if anyone isn't, it is absolutely fine to leave a character sheet available. But with those levels of damage, this combat's not going to last forever. This is a big swingy combat. Things are going to start going down. My first roll to hit on Ro Rex is a 16. That hits correct. My second one, I'm so very sorry, is a crit. [01:45:09] Speaker A: Boo. [01:45:11] Speaker C: Boo. Stop critting. This is not. [01:45:14] Speaker B: I don't remember which fight it was but a while back that curse on me broke. [01:45:20] Speaker D: Don't like it. [01:45:21] Speaker C: Don't like it. [01:45:22] Speaker B: The first strike row is going to be 12 points of bludgeoning damage. [01:45:26] Speaker C: Okay. [01:45:27] Speaker B: Second one is going to be 714 plus 4. 18 points of bludgeoning damage on the second one. No. Okay, 26 points of bludgeoning damage in the second one. Sorry, I did my math wrong. [01:45:39] Speaker C: Hold on, let me do some maths. And then I know I gotta roll a con safe, but yes. Oh, true. [01:45:50] Speaker D: 10 and a 13. [01:45:58] Speaker C: Okay, so before the con save, I am still Rorex. She has not lost all of her hit points yet, but it is a bloody Rorex. Okay, okay, so a very bloody pro wreck. Okay, so con saves. Here we go. The first one. Oh, okay, the first one is a 24. [01:46:28] Speaker B: Yeah. [01:46:29] Speaker C: Okay, that'll. [01:46:30] Speaker B: That'll make. [01:46:32] Speaker C: Okay, and then the second one. Oh boy. Is a 16. [01:46:44] Speaker B: Also saved. So you are still rocks. [01:46:48] Speaker A: Wow. [01:46:49] Speaker B: Okay, next. Carcinized is gonna make two attacks on Boss. They really should have flanked, but they're not that smart. First one's gonna miss. Second one's gonna hit boss. First one's in the 20s. Second one's below below 20 so it won't hit you. So you're gonna take 13 points of bludgeoning damage as another massive pincher grabs you and presses you downward trying to break your arm. And then this one next to you, Rongrim, not particularly concerned with you anymore, is gonna turn around and try and attack the unceasing massacre. [01:47:22] Speaker D: Hit. [01:47:24] Speaker B: Hit. I almost can't miss. So it is gonna deal. See? Eight plus Daniel was eight plus four. 14. Nine plus four is 13. 14 plus 14 is 20. [01:47:38] Speaker D: Four is still a deal. [01:47:40] Speaker B: Yes, that's what I meant to say. That is what I did in my head. It's not what came out of my mouth, but it is what I said. So it's going to deal. 27 points of bludgeoning to the unceasing massacre. And the unceasing ceasing massacre looks fairly damaged. It has some really large chunks taken out of it. It has definitely lost some mass and structure, but the majority of it is very much still together and firing. That's the Carsonized turn. Roe is up. It's going to be the Kuoa acolytes, and then Boz is on deck. [01:48:20] Speaker D: Okay. [01:48:23] Speaker B: So the unceasing massacre has taken a great deal of damage, but is still held together. The Carcinites have made all their attacks. Ro, with your turn coming up next, we're gonna go ahead and cut the combat there and we're gonna leave this as a cliffhanger for next time. So in a couple weeks, we will come back and we'll finish up this combat and then the following week we will resume with the rest of the story. So the fungi's there in the deep belly of the ravine, covered by the dark storm, with enemies all around them who looking both you and your enemies all looking half dead. With a massive unfathomable horror of undeath coming up behind you in our second round of combat, that is where we are going to end our session. Also, Zack, this is your little reminder that the unceasing mass incorrect is going to open by using some legendary actions next time. Okay? Excellent. Now we'll cut everything right there. [01:49:21] Speaker E: Just forget about it. Forget about it. [01:49:25] Speaker A: That sounds scary. Sounds very scary. Listener. [01:49:31] Speaker B: Life is an incredible adventure. But sometimes it's real, spooky and surprising. So remember, you are still a very important part of that adventure. If you are ever somewhere and a massive pile of bones begins emerging from the ground, you should leave that place. Any final thoughts, players? [01:49:46] Speaker A: See you next time. [01:49:48] Speaker B: We'll see you next time. [01:49:50] Speaker E: Scribble.